Song: Bleed All Over Me Artist: Wicked Wisdom
Suffering
The snow that day was so light, so beautiful. The little white fluffy specks made their way to the ground as I pressed my nose against the cold glass to get a better view of this beauty. The snow didn't stop for a while, it just, continued to fall onto it's perfect landscape. I hoped that no one would ruin this perfect picture, the one that nature had painted so well. I sighed and glanced towards the door. He was late, as usual. He always told me that he'd be home at a certain time, but he never was. My dry, cracked lips made a slight smile. It was no big deal, I would wait for him.
I would wait for him forever.
I love your pain and how it makes me feel inside
I brushed the few blue strands of hair out of my eyes as I continued to watch the outside world. He was more late then usual. Worry rushed into me like a flood. Where was he…
As if to answer my question, the door swung open and I rushed towards the figure who had stomped in.
"Naruto-kun. I was worried…" I whispered, looking deep into his baby blue eyes. He looked back into my white blue ones and slightly smiled. He was drunk, I already figured that out by his stench.
"I'm all right. Traffic was just being a bitch." He grumbled, suddenly reaching his hand into his bag and searching for something. I knew what it was. He pulled it out and injected it into his arm, sighing, as though with relief. I said nothing but watched the liquid enter my boyfriend's veins. I thought what it would be like, to be under his skin.
"Get me some water." He demanded. I nodded and walked towards the kitchen, reaching for the cupboard where the glasses were placed. After grabbing one, I brought it down towards me. My destination for the glass was the counter, but instead, it landed on the floor. I cursed to myself as the sound of shattering glass reached the young man in an instant. He ran towards the kitchen, glancing towards the broken glass, then back at me.
"You really are worthless." He said with such venom and anger in his voice. He walked over to me, his shoes crunching on the glass, and I knew what was coming.
I love your pain and how it opens you so wide
The back of his hand met my cheek hard, and I fell onto the glass. Pain surged through my body as I felt the pointy objects sink into my skin. I coughed and a metallic taste touched my tongue. The blood soon left my mouth and dribbled down the side of my cracked, bleeding lips. I coughed again and tried to say 'I'm sorry' but only blood escaped. I started to tremble as I sat up, looking towards him.
"You can't even get a glass of water without making yourself look like fool." He took a handful of my hair and gripped it tightly, pulling me up so I was face to face with him. My scalp screamed with pain as I closed my eyes, waiting for all of this to be over. I was used to the searing pain by now, I did not scream nor did I cry. It was his way of showing he loved me.
"Pathetic." He hissed in my ear as he threw me against the kitchen wall. A few bones cracked, my skull throbbed and all I could taste was blood. I fell onto the cold kitchen floor and everything begun to spin. This was what it was like everyday for me. But that was okay, because, no matter what, I would still love him.
And I love the way you bleed all over me, all over me
My body ached as I turned over. Instead of feeling a cold hard floor, I felt something soft and comfy. I forced myself to open my eyes. I was in the bedroom. Once again, he had realized what he had done to me and took care of my wounds. I smiled and turned to find him sleeping next to me. I scooted closer and snuggled up against him, welcoming the warmth of his body.
"Hinata…" He mumbled quietly in his sleep. I looked towards his face. He looked so…peaceful when he was sleeping. So innocent, so pure, untainted. I smiled sadly to myself. He was nothing like that. Every night, he would leave and go out drinking and gambling with a few of his friends. I knew he went to strip clubs and bought drugs. And every night, when he comes home, he would be drunk and would only inject a needle into his arm or drink more. And every night, I was beaten by him. It was his own way of showing love. I knew this because always, afterwards, he would cry and apologize, saying what a horrible person he his. He would mend my wounds immediately and watch over me. My friends didn't understand…they didn't understand why I was with him, even when I knew he did all of this. It's because, without him, I would have been nothing. He was there for me, when the world had shunned me. And now, he has no one to go to, the world is a dark, cold place for him. So now, it's my turn. It's my turn to be there for him, no matter what may happen to me.
"Shh, Naruto-kun, you need sleep." I whispered, resting my head onto his chest. I smiled as I heard his heart beat. I loved the sound of his heart beat. It was the best sound in the whole world.
"I'm…sorry…I'm so sorry Hinata…" He was in deep slumber while saying all of this, but I knew he meant each and every word of it.
"It's all right…I'm here for you."
"I'm so sorry…" Tears leaked from the corner of his eyes as he began to sob quietly. I ignored the pain and lifted myself up and kisses his eyelids gently.
"Don't cry, Naruto-kun."
"Don't leave me…"
"I won't leave you, ever. I'll be with you always."
"I love you so much Hinata…"
I smiled to myself and kissed him on the cheek and rested my head on his chest again, falling back to sleep.
"I love you too. And I always will."
I crave your pain and how it soaks me in
Morning soon came and I quietly made my way out of the bed, even though my body was in great pain. I kissed him and went to the kitchen. The mess from last night had been cleaned up and I begun to make breakfast.
"I smell something yummy…" I turned to see him walking in. I smiled.
"Pancakes. Your favorite." I said as I put a plate full of steaming pancakes on the table. He licked his lips and quickly sat down and instantly began to wolf down the food. I giggled as I watched him eat. In many ways, he still acted as he did many years ago. Stubborn and quick to act, rarely thinking. But that's what I admired so much about him. He wasn't afraid to show what was on his mind, no matter what the consequences. I sighed as I realized how much he had changed. I would miss the old him more the anything, but I knew I loved this new one all the same.
"What's wrong?" He asked through a mouth full of pancakes.
I smiled. "It's nothing."
The day continued on. He watched TV most of the day as I left to buy groceries. I decided to walk, since I wanted to watch the snowy scenery. Once I had entered the store, I shook the snow off my hair and looked for the supplies I needed. I glanced towards the list I had brought with me, walking at the same time, and I had barely noticed the person in front of me. I collided with the other body and fell to the floor.
"Oh! I-I'm sorry."
"It's quite alright…"
I looked up and almost gasped.
"H-Hinata?!"
"Kiba!" I said as he pulled me up.
"I haven't seen you in forever!" He smiled, fangs shining.
"Y-yes." I said, I looked around. "Where's Akamaru…?"
"He's too big to go into stores now." He said, chuckling slightly.
"Ah, I see…" I said. "Well, it was very nice seeing you. I better finish my shopping…" I turned around to leave but Kiba instantly grabbed my wrist. I turned around and looked at him with widened eyes.
"What is it?"
I crave your pain cause I'm it's only friend
"How's Naruto doing?" Kiba looked at me.
"H-he's fine."
"What about his…problems?"
I said nothing. How was I supposed to answer that question?
"Hinata…I'm worried about you. You need…You need to break up with him already!" He said loudly, people were starting to stare.
"Kiba, please, I can't…"
"And why the hell not! Look what he's doing to you!" He yelled at me. More people stopped and stared so I quickly pulled him outside.
"I love him Kiba. I can't just…leave him."
"You need to. What if…what if you…." He looked towards the snowy ground, unable to finish his sentence.
"If I die, I will have lead a good life." I smiled.
"Hinata…"
"I'm really glad that you care about me, but I'm fine. It was nice seeing you again." I went and finished my shopping, leaving the youth outside in the beautiful landscape that I had grown to love.
And I need the way your grief finds me and breaks in my arms
I quickly ran back home, bags in my arms. I was coming home later then usual. I hope he wasn't too mad. I rushed inside.
"I'm home! Sorry I'm so late, I met a friend on the way…" I sighed as I noticed no one had responded. He had already left, and I didn't even make dinner. I put away the groceries and sat next to the window, my favorite waiting spot. I watched as the snow fell down, creating an everlasting beauty. I rested my forehead on the cold glass and continued to watch the snow. I waited for him to return. I waited and waited. But he did not come. I waited…It was dark, it was late. I waited. The snow kept getting heavier. I waited. It was getting even later. I waited. I waited until I felt as though my insides would burst.
He was late. Something must have happened to him. I ran outside. I kept running. Was he at the bar? I continued to run. Was he playing poker with his friends? I continued to run. I ran and ran until my body gave out. I fell onto the ground and coughed. Blood stained the pure white snow. But I did not care. I lifted myself up and continued to run. I could not live without him.
And I need the way I drink your anger it keeps me so warm
I ran and ran.
"H-Hinata…"
I stopped and turned. There he was, in a dark alleyway, in a stench mixed of blood and beer. For the first time in years, tears escaped my eyes as I collapsed next to him, bringing his body close to mine.
"Naruto-kun!" I sobbed. He felt so cold…
"I'm sorry Hinata…" He coughed, blood leaked out of his mouth.
"Shh, don't talk. It's okay. I'm here." I calmly said, more tears falling from my eyes and onto his face. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later. He was going to reach his limit. I was a fool. I always thought I would be prepared for this moment. Or maybe, I just had thought it never would happen…
"Hinata…? Why are you crying?" He croaked.
"I-I'm not crying. I-It's just the snow…"
Can I hold your suffering
"Hinata, I love you"
"Shh. I love you too. You'll be okay. I'm here."
Let me feel your suffering
I sobbed and sobbed as I held him in my arms, wishing for a miracle to happen. I couldn't lose him. He was the whole world to me. He had shown me light when I could see nothing but darkness. He was the only one who accepted me for who I was.
Can I touch your suffering
"Hinata…It hurts."
"I-I know Naruto-kun. I-I feel the pain too…"
"It hurts…It hurts so much." He cried, blood stained my clothes as he gripped my arms tightly. I sobbed as I hugged him gently. He tried his best to return the embrace, but he was becoming limp and frail.
And I love the way you feed my hungers, my hunger, my greed
"Hinata, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry. Please, forgive me. I'm so sorry…" His eyelids slowly closed and his breath stopped. My world fell apart in that moment. I sobbed that whole night, holding him close to me. I should have done something. I should have stopped him. This was all my fault. I had fallen asleep that night, my head on his chest. But there was no heartbeat…There was no him. There was no love anymore. More tears leaked from my eyes, sliding down my cheeks. I linked my fingers with his and continued to hold him close.
And the snow continued to fall, making the beautiful landscape I had grown to love so much.
But now, the pure white snow had been stained with bright red.
I smiled.
Now, I wouldn't have to wait for him.
He would have to wait for me.
And I love the way you bleed all over me, all over me