A Bazillion Ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort
Everyone hates Lord Voldemort (Except the Death Eaters and Nagini the Creepy Boa Constricterlike thing). So I have decided to create a list of ways to either kill him or drive him nuts.
If you like this one go read A Bazillion Ways to Annoy Scipio Bellorum, which I wrote, and A Bazillion Ways to Annoy Azula, which defend it wrote. Keep in mind that all these things should be done while wearing an Avada Kedavra-proof suit. I POST READER SUGGESTIONS!
Disclaimer: It belongs to J.K Rowling the Genius Who Made Harry Potter. Who is not me.
1.)Get the Harry Potter Puppet Pals to invade his Evil Lair, bother him then shoot him with machine guns.
2.)Make a thing that looks like his diary and sell it over the internet. Make sure to say that he loves Narcissa Malfoy and put hearts around her name and write it in pink. Not only will this annoy him, Lucius Malfoy will want to Avada Kedavra him for going out with his wife.
3.)Get one million wombats that are immune to being cursed. Then feed Voldemort a batch of cookies that has a Wombat Attack potion in it. Release the wombats into his Evil Lair and enjoy the show.
4.)Superglue photos of Harry's face to every surface in his Evil Lair.
5.)Go to the Next World and get Dumbledore's Angry Ghost and tell the ghost where Voldy's Evil Lair is. Sit back and watch the show.
6.)Make a giant neon sign that says HEY MINISTRY OF MAGIC ORDER OF THE PHOENIX PEOPLE THIS IS THE EVIL LAIR OF THE DEATH EATERS COME AND ATTACK IT. Then put it on the roof of his Evil Lair.
7.)Wait until he's out trying to kill Harry Potter and/or rescue the other Death Eaters from Azkaban, then decorate his bedroom with fluffy bunnies, rainbows, Dora the Explorer toys, and pink girly stuff.
8.)Steal his wand and throw it over a cliff, then trap him in a room full of Dumbledore fangirls.
9.)Explain to him that it is impossible for him to win because this is a children's book.
10.) Tattoo either Kick Me or Avada Kedavra Me on the back of his shiny bald head.
11.) Get him really drunk then convince him to kiss a llama/monkey/wombat/Michael Jackson and take a picture and give it to the Order of the Phoenix. Then next time they meet the Order can blackmail him.
12.) Tell him that Davy Jones/Fire Lord Ozai/General Bellorum/Sauron is such a better villain than him.
13.) Give all the Death Eaters I'm With Stupid T-Shirts and brainwash them to wear them all the time.
14.) Make Malfoy and Snape valley girls.
15.) Have all the Potter People hit him with sticks. Except Hagrid. Hagrid gets to hit him with a log.
16.) Have all the Potter People put on invisibility cloaks and hit him with sticks. This will confuse him. Hagrid can still hit him with a log :D
17.) Dump steak sauce all over him then introduce him to the Hungarian Horntail from Goblet of Fire.
18.) Have the thestrals from Order of the Phoenix attack him and he won't be able to see where it's coming from.
19.) Trap him in the It's A Small World ride from Disney. He will go slowly insane from listening to that song, I assure you.
20.) Trap him in either Chuck E Cheese's or McDonalds. If he's trapped in Chuck E Cheese's then he will go insane from the stupid games and the giant rats. If he's trapped in McDonalds he will have to eat all that fatty food and have a heart attack, not to mention get seriously disturbed by those clowns.
21.) Tell him it's "in" to wear a lot of shiny objects. When he does, release all the nifflers you can find into his Evil Lair.
A/N: So how did you like the first 21 ways to Annoy Lord Voldemort? I hope they were funny enough. If you have anything you'd like to see here or constructive criticism then please please review & tell me what you think! The next few chapters I'm just doing 15 each, this one was abnormally long.