A/N: I've been writing alot of little (ie. less than 500 word) fics lately about Katie and Oliver... so, without wanting to take up all of the space FanFiction has, I've decided to start a collection of (I suppose you could call them) vignettes about Katie and Oliver.

Oh, and if you don't get the meaning behing the Collection title "For The Love of Inanimate Objects", then i completely understand. It's pretty lame.

Inanimate objects.
Bell... Wood...

Yeah, i told you it was lame.

'Hey Kates, you know what?'

'What, Oliver?'

'I think I'm going insane.'

'And what makes you think that?'

'I dunno… everything.'

'If you want my opinion on this topic, you're going to have to be more specific.'

'Oh, right. Well, for starters, I can't sleep at night…'

'Mmm.'

'And I have no appetite…'

'Yeah.'

'And I can't stop re-thinking certain parts of my day, which for some odd reason, seem to include conversation or interaction with the same girl…'

'Ah.'

'And Fred and George keep singing that muggle song every time I walk past them, you know that love song? From that movie about a boat? By whatsername… umm… Irene Leon?'

'I think you'll find you mean "Celine Dion".'

'That's the one!'

'Right.'

'So, what's the verdict? Am I going insane?'

'No.'

'Really!? Oh, thank Merlin for that.'

'You're not going insane, Oliver, because you're already insane.'

'Oh. That would be a problem.'

'Mmhmm.'

'What kind of insane am I? Dangerous? Violent? Silently Deadly? Um, erm, Luna Lovegood?'

'All of the above and more.'

'Oh no.'

'Oliver.'

'Yes Katie?'

'You're in love.'

'Wait, you can't change the subject now!'

'I'm not.'

'Yes you are! We were talking about me going insane and then all of a sudden, out of nowhere, you tell me I'm in love!'

'Oliver. You're insane because you're in love.'

'Oh. That would explain a lot.'

'I'm guessing it would.'

'So what do I do now?'

'Tell her, perhaps?'

'But I don't know if she likes me back!'

'Ask her.'

'That'd make sense, I suppose.'

'Logic, Oliver. Get some.'

'Will do, just as soon as I confess my undying love for the girl of my insanity.'

'Great, good luck with that. I'll leave you to it.'

'Wait!'

'Oliver, I know I'm far too lenient with you when it comes to these kinds of things… but there are some things you have to independently, albeit by yourself. And confessions of undying love are one of them.'

'But… how am I supposed to confess to her if she won't sit still long enough to listen?'

'I dunno… beg. Put a full body-bind jinx on h – oh. wait. No. hang on.'

'Sometimes, Katie love, you're thicker than I am.'

'So, you love me then?'

'Yep. Undyingly for eternity, in all of my insanity.'

'That's a lot of "-y's".'

'It's a lot of love.'

'Mmm.'

'So, do I get to ask you now?'

'You don't need to.'

'But, I don't know i- '

'Oliver, would I have suffered through that entire conversation if I didn't love you?'

'No… I suppose not.'

'It's time, I think, for you to get some logic.'

'Amen to that.'

'And Oliver? There's no way in hell that I am thicker than you.'

'Oh yeah? And how do you know?'

'Because, my dear Captain, no one is thicker than you.'

'Oi!'

'You love it.'

Argh, my alerts -still- aren't working!
i won't know if you've reviewed, replied, PM'd me or otherwise.. it's ridiculous.
If anybody is having the same problem, please, please, i beg of you, let me know by emailing me at Please!

i tried emailing the support thing, but i don't know if they can help or they've replied, because i can't get any mail from Fanfiction at all. argh...

But on a lighter note, thanks for reading. please review.
i will get it. eventually.

Ash xx