Looking with a blind eye

By me: sansty!

YukixShu

Yaoi haters leave now

Disclaimer: I don't own any of these bishies and if I did I would stuff them in a pink box wrapped in a spotty ribbon that says "don't open until next xmas"

The song at the end is the 1st Naruto Opening: "Wind"-Akeboshi

Sansty: Uhm… if I said anything now it would definitely be a spoiler… but I'm glad I touched people with this fic and I hope to keep you guys happy with what I produce.

Word meanings: I can't find any new words that I could have slipped in this chappie but if you DO find something you don't understand feel free to ask me

O there IS one word- Ikasete: "Let me go"

Apologies: O god I'm so sorry about the endless mistakes throughout the first chappie. I didn't beta it and when I went back to check the published version I was like "holy mother of.." but so far I didn't get any complaints demo (but) I'll do my best to be precise when I type.

No flame rule: Please don't flame me if this fic doesn't satisfy your reading needs. Only flame me if you found something REALLY REALLY dumb within the writing aspect (i.e- grammar, spelling etc)

Replies to my first reviewers are at the end of this chappie just so I don't keep you eager people waiting even longer than you should

Chapter 2:

Such a naïve child

POV Shuichi

Arghh… everything's so blurry. Where am I? 'Who' am I?... Why is everything so bright? Wait…cream ceiling, air-con, in-wall speakers…

Slight flashback

"… and remote-control lights." My eyes widened in shock at how extravagant this place was.

"So don't go touching anything brat or I'll have your head."

End slight flashback

Oh, that's right. I'm Shindou Shuichi. Well renowned pop star singer of Bad Luck. Groaning, I lifted my left-arm and sloppily plopped it on my forehead. I felt a strange piercing sensation aimed at me, slightly tilting my head towards the source of this discomfort. Only my left eye could be barely seen from under my arm as I peeked at the man leaning casually against the kitchen counter.

Why is he just standing there staring at me… Well he 'was'. As soon as he got caught out he turned around to pour himself a drink from what I could hear; coffee no less. Thanks for the offer… bastard. Well he probably thinks I'm not worth the effort of pouring a cup for too. He never says good morning to me either.

Turning to face up at the polished ceiling I get pulled back to my morning musings. I could still vaguely hear him padding around in the kitchen. Even to the extent of hearing him rummaging through the fridge. Yuki doesn't seem like one to be rummaging through anything. Another fact about him I never really noticed until now.

It's so strange… Living yet feeling like your not. It's like the body is a machine which we control so easily just by 'thinking'. Eyes in proportion to the rest of the body are actually quite small yet we can see so many things which are much larger than this 'shell' we carry around. The extent of interactive ness with others, such as the man whom I love involves what's inside our bodies. Is that why they have 'meaningful sex' or 'love making' and… 'meaningless sex' or what I heard Yuki say 'a quick fuck'?

Am 'I' just a quick fuck to him? We never really sit down to talk about other things, with the exception of his confession about his past. Neither of us know what's going through each others heads. We definitely have a miscommunication problem in this 'relationship'. Someone once told me that Yuki was the type of guy who poured out all of his emotions while he was savagely ramming into me… to put it lightly.

I should just ask him what he thinks of me…the same question I ask of him every single day. He might give me a different answer this time.

Sitting up abruptly I luckily caught him before he disappeared into his office.

"Ah, Yuki! Chotto matte!" He stops again at his door. This is 'so' deja vu.

"Nani…"

Giggling sheepishly and scratching the back of my head lightly, I must have looked the usual village idiot.

"Ah, well I was wondering…what…what am I to you?"

I must have been 'really' out of it because it took me a while to recognize his shoulders shaking and a low chuckle reverberating from his body.

"Don't ask stupid questions brat. You should know the answer to that. You're not 'that' stupid."

A long pause followed those words.

"eh.. Hai…"

"Yokatta. Don't bring it up again." Click.

I smile timidly at the empty space where he once stood before trailing my gaze up at the closed door. Although I try so hard to keep that smile, it's cruelly stripped away by my inner turmoil. As my fists shook violently on my knees I tried to sustain what was left of the innocence and hope which I desperately attempt to preserve. I could feel everything pulling away from me… forcefully… not even giving me a chance.

Senselessly I searched for any recollections of a time when I was truly happy with this man who claims to be a God. Yuki Eiri… the man who had his own heart broken by a love long ago. Is that the reason why I stayed with him after he bared his tainted past to me? I'm so emotionally confused!!! I was screaming my raw emotions loudly in my head as uncontrolled tears refused to cease falling.

Beep Beep Beep

Nani?

Beep Beep Beep

My head snaps up on it's own to identify the source of what had carried my mind back to reality.

Beep Beep Beep

Looking around the room I spot flashing red digits reading "8:00". Ah, so that's what it was. I found it surprising that I woke up before my alarm did. I better turn it off before Yuki comes barging out and yelling profanities at me.

When did I think so ill of him? Surely he wouldn't let such dirty words past his lips. Especially to someone as unworthy as me.

I chuckle at my own mistake. I really don't know anything do I?

Getting up, I sluggishly walk to the kitchen counter and end the monotonous beeping with a press of a button. Yawning I thought of what I had to do today.

"Hiro-kun!" I lightly placed my right fist in my left hand at my revelation. I still have plenty of time for breakfast. Maybe I can even write a new song… to take my mind off things. It would be considered a crime if I didn't admit to my emotional instability. I hope my outing with Hiro will cheer me a little. He's always someone who I can confide in. But even 'I' know, one cannot be burdened by something of this extent for too long. Sooner or later he's not going to want to listen and comfort me. He has his own life too.

Guess I should start planning on what I could do for myself without the use of Hiro, ne?

"Yuki! I'll be back before the sun sets!" Might as well rebuild the mask which I nearly lost.

"Whatever."

I just smile… an empty smile. Of course I know it's futile since he can't see me behind that door. That's why I wonder to myself… why do I even bother?

Because it gives me false hope.

Stepping outside the building, I was greeted by what people would call a 'genuine' smile. A smile which was plastered on none other than Hiro-kun's face.

"Ohayo! Hiro-kun!"

He waves for me to get on his bike and hands me his spare helmet.

"Daijobou?"

"Hai!" What else did he expect me to say?

"I have something special in store for you Shu-kun!"

"Soo desu ka?"

"Hai." He's turning behind to face me with his reassuring grin. Maybe today will be 'much' brighter!

I cling onto Hiro's body as he accelerates through the streets, wishing I could feel like this all the time… running…

Always running…

Trying to escape…

Ikasete.

Cultivate your hunger before you idealize.
Motivate your anger to make them all realize.
Climbing the mountain, never coming down.
Break into the contents, never falling down.

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve,
Sneaking out of the classroom, by the back door.
A man railed at me twice though, but I didn't care.
Waiting is wasting for people like me.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

You say, "Dreams are dreams.
"I ain't gonna play the fool anymore."
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul."

Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down.
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom.
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing, shadows of
nothing.

You still are blind, if you see a winding road,
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see.

Don't try to live so wise.
Don't cry 'cause you're so right.
Don't dry with fakes or fears,
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end.

The Oblivious Captain Anna: YAY my first time taking on the angst road of writing. I usually read heaps of angst instead of writing my own. But hopefully years of reading so much of it will help me continue writing this.

Morlana: Hope you got what you wanted..for now P The next chappie will have more plot and have a faster pace than this one. Must bash up Yuki as soon as I can. Hehe

Hikari-chan: Aww!! Yeah I'm still wavering on whether to make him super evil guy or something else. So many ppl write about them making up in the end or Shuichi dying or something. SPOILER I will NOT do the cliché: Shuichi getting into a car accident thing

L: Wahoo I don't write like a complete idiot with loss of plot. Hehe. That's one hurdle down! I'm digging as deep as I can to produce something that's different so keep your faith in me and I'll try hard to not make this fic a failure. I HAVE read a lot of gravi fics too so I know what's been done. The hard thing is coming up with something that HASN'T been done. XD

Hokage: This is your awaited update! I hope you liked it and if you got bored than I can assure that the next one will be better!! I hope… Fic fighters live on!! BWA HAHAHA!!!

Toni'sGirl: At least he's still alive!! I can't say much so I won't ruin the suspense. Hehe P But I'm grateful for your time in reading this!! Me so happy!!!

inufan1369: Eep!!! I feel really enlightened that this touched you so much!! Hope to hear more from you too as my creation progresses!! Hehe.