Disclaimer: This was a ficlet drabble thingie that I started like two years ago, but never finished. lol, That's focus for you. Anywho, this is my first fic up since I started at my new school, which is keeping me very busy but is also fun. This is an Animorphs fic, as told by Marco. Kind of funny. Or so I've been told. lol. Okay, basically Marco gets annoyed with "Jakey-boy" using the same excuses over and over again. So he decides to write down some creative alternatives.

Marco's Top 50 Getaway Ideas

"Hello, all! Marco here. Okay (let me see a show of hands) How many of you are sick and tired of Jake's lack of imagination? pauses for hand raising Exactly!!! And his lack of imagination is most obvious in his quote-unquote Excuses for running away to morph or to go on a mission. He uses the same boring excuses day in and day out. It is an outrage!!!!

Okay Jakey, since you said you can't make up any new/ less blasé excuses to explain mission-related disappearances, I have graciously condescended to help you out.

Marco's Top 50 getaway Ideas

VS.

Jake's pitiful, wimpy, pathetic, reuseable excuses...

Okay, first I'll show you Jake's excuses,

1."Um, I don't feel well, can I go to the Nurse/to bed?"

2."Sorry, Mom/ (insert family member), I've got a study group, big test."

3."Forgot my homework, I'm going to (insert animorph) 's house."

4."Going to hang out with Marco at (insert place)."

And that's it...crickets chirp BO-OOOOORING!!!!!!!! Pathetic, Yes? Fear not, for I, Marco have a brilliant, ingenius,... well you get the point... solution!

Marco's Excuses:

1.Tell your teacher you are going to faint.

2.Tell somebody that you're going to blow chunks on them.

3.Tell somebodythat you need to take your allergy pill, (if they offer you water, tell them it is a suppository).

4.Tell somebody that your brother poured powdered laxitive on your food.

5.Tell them that it was the whole bottle.

6.Tell your teacher you have a therapy session, ( they'll believe it coming from you, Jake.)

7.Tell the teacher that you've got to go get your braces tightened.

8.Pretend to have an asthma attack and run out of the room in panic.

9.Mix explosive stuff together and blow up the science lab.

10.Stand up in the middle of class and shout to the guy next to you: "How dare you insult my mother!" and get a brawl going.

11.Tell the teacher that you have stabbed yourself with a pencil and you need to go check for lead poisoning.

12.Tell your teacher that you've been selected by Leadership Arts to go visit the Mayor/Governor/Senator/President, that morning...

13.Tell your teacher that "your country needs you" and that you are going to enlist.

14.Tell your teacher that "your country doesn't need you" and you are going home to celebrate.

15.Tell the teacher that you are CathewishMuslinduBuddisAthewiccestant and it is a relious holiday for you .

16.Tell your teacher that school's been call of on account of (rain)

17.(insert) floods

18.(insert) Tsunamis

19.(insert) Monsoons

20.(insert) Tornadoes

21.(insert) Volcanic eruptions

22.(insert) Mudslides

23.(insert) Hurricanes

24.(insert) Drought

25.(insert) a 2 for 1 sale at Big Y.

26.Tell your teacher that "Only you can prevent forest fires!"

27.Tell them that you cousin Rachelis mad at you and you have to go into the witness protection program.

28.Look under teacher's and shout "live genade!" and run.

29.You have to go to court for a restraining order for your cousin.

30.Somehow, break a fire extinguisher.

31.Buy fake slime and when someone's not looking pretend to sneeze and spill some on them, while they are distracted, run.

32.Mess with the wiring in the circuit board.

33.Say "I left my notebook at home, can I go get it?" and bolt.

34.Tell your teacher that you left your pace maker in your locker.

35.Tell your teacher that you've got a cramp in your brain.

36.Tell you teacher that there is a rumor going around the school, that they are being fired.

37.Pretend to faint.

38.Make a girl faint by putting a lab rat in her desk.

39.Make the teacher faint by getting a perfect score.

40.Show teacher the above-mentioned lab rat until they back into the fire alarm.

41."go to the Bathroom" and come back as an animal and eat your own homework in front of the teacher.

42.Grab the nearest nerd and tell the teacher that you are escorting them to the nurse.

43.Tell your teacher that you are cheerleading in an early game and that you need time to get into your skirt, because you've gone up a size.

44.Tell your teacher that you need to go get fitted for your bubblesuit because your parents are afraid of the Bird Flu.

45.Tell people that you have been told to spend the week at home by a very reliable source. (Just don't mention that it was the psychic friends network).

46.Tell people that your parents are sending you to a boarding school. your face and run out of the room crying.

48.Scream "I can't take it anymore!" and jump out of the window. yourself in rags and tell people that you've got Leprosy.

50.Slap someone nearby while screaming "You PERVERT!!!" and run.

Thank you for tuning in to JES fm (singsong) Jake's excuses suck! This is your host Marco, wishing you all a very good night. And remember, "Excuses are like plastic plates. You could reuse them but why would you want to???"

(Thanks for reading everybody, and I hope to be writing again soon, despite three projects. Much love, wg17.)