Staring out the window, it was impossible to think of anything else besides her lovely face. Perfection of her dominated every thought in his mind as nights blanket fell. Christmas Eve last year broke to the front of his mind. Taylor, her lovely eyes, her bright, charming smile, with the child-like excitement he longed to see again.

This mental picture crashed into a thousand small pieces, revealing her true state today. He pictured her eyes changing to the blood-shot red that they had become. He remembered her smile, turned into a dark frown, and her body, crippled with sickness, a sickness that killed her spirit.

Sometimes, it felt like he suffers more.

But he remembered how it was his idea to end their relationship.

For selfish reasons; he didn't want to get hurt.

Sometimes he wished he could trade lives with her.

To force him to feel the pain she must be going through. The long days and nights longing for his once best friend was taking a toll on him. The holiday season was nothing but a soft shadow, a whisper of the past he once had, the happiness he once felt.

He wished he could feel more than just anguish. He wished to destroy this disease that ate away at his one true love, to have her back. He was learning about judgment. He was learning about how superficial he really was.

He wanted to love her scars, her being, her soul, her bloodshot eyes, and her diminished smile. But he didn't love her. He loved her in the past, a time when she was as fresh as springtime, as free as a bird. He loved her when he could caress her soft brown hair, and feel the warmth of her body against his. He was superficial, and he liked it.

Chad had to result to darkness. He had locked himself away, wondering if he had made the right choice, or if his superficial ways would slowly dominate to destroy him.

Something pushed him to see her. Every day that passed was longer than the next, and thinking of her suffering only brought him closer to insanity. He was obsessed with something, but he wasn't sure what. Was it her? Was he obsessed with suffering? Obsessed with finding himself? Obsessed with his now evil self as he was now bathing in darkness for eternity?

It was time to realize his true self. It was time to search within himself and discover his obsession, his motives, and his future.

It was a depressing night to be in the hospital. Loved ones everywhere, visiting the ones they care about on this ever-important night. He wondered if maybe… just maybe he could ask someone to tell him who he was. They all seemed to be the same people, floating around that hospital and worrying about the ones they loved. But because he was here, did that mean he was just like them?

Who was he really?

His cunning self would answer… no one really. He was no one. He was just no one without his superficial past, the object of his desire. What would he feel when he saw her?

Relief?

Regret?

Love?

Or all?

And would she forgive him. He ascended a dark staircase, step by step toward his near future, toward a bright light at the top step.

And here was Taylor's room. Slightly ajar, he was able to stare through a crack in the door.

She was healthier since the last time he saw her.

One month to the second.

He did feel relieved. He was relieved to find she was okay, and still there.

He did feel regret. He regretted staying by her side, fighting at this disease with two sets of armor, two sets of weapons, rather than leaving her on her own to win her own battle.

He felt love. He felt like he cared more about this one single person, this one single moment more than anything by far in his lifetime.

He felt it all; reaching a realization within himself. A realization that made him to believe he was in the right moment. He was the right person, himself.

And at the moment, he let go of it all. The superficial past that was eating away at him, the regrets, and feelings of loss.

He felt reborn; a new Chad, coming forth to become his true self.

He found himself that night, walking through that door. He found himself in love.

He found himself face to face with the only thing that made sense,

that undying smile that was hiding under all that battle armor.

It was all that really mattered.

And he stared out that window, and she was all he could think about.

Turning his head toward her, he realized she had never left him, and that a smile was waiting for him the whole time. Along with a pair of open arms, waiting for the eventual meeting that she knew would occur.

And there was an eventual happy ending.