Author's Notes: Indeed, I was swept away with the holiday spirit at the last moment…Saiyuki style…

Disclaimer: I don't own or have ever claimed to own Saiyuki. Though I do own a deck of Saiyuki playing cards…

Warnings: Language, American influenced yuletide spirit, some technological weirdies that I know weren't there at the time the anime is supposed to take place (I guess), and shonen-ai. Also, a Kannan warning.

Please, enjoy.

Cheat

'Jesus, that guy pisses me off,' Gojyo thought moodily as he sucked down another frothing beer, just the right temperature that it was at its most disgusting. He didn't taste it, busy chewing on his bitter self-pity, ignoring the women who would've interesting him at any other time. Nice busty women with fine thin waists…

No, his eyes were busy watching another in the bar, sitting at a table and cleaning out what seemed like the entire male population in the bar, stupid smile on his face as he raked crumpled bills and coins toward his side of the table as the other men cursed and flung down their cards. Gojyo finished off his beer and slouched against the bar, propping his elbows on the ledge as he watched his friend across the smoky bar.

White robes shuffled toward him and sat down on a stool at the bar, grouchily ordering a beer and lighting up a Marlboro. Gojyo's eyes flicked toward the priest, then his cigarette. He'd just run out and thought he needed a smoke, or at least feel it burn between his fingers…

"Getting blatant, aren't you, Sanzo? The talking heads won't be pleased," Gojyo said as friendly as he could manage in his current mood. Sanzo didn't even look at him.

"No."

"I haven't even asked yet!" Gojyo hissed. Sanzo just drank his beer and pulled a grimace, muttering a quiet 'tastes like shit' to himself. Gojyo sighed and swung around to order another beer.

"Com'on, Sanzo, I'm fresh out myself."

"You hate Marlboros," the blonde said from over the lip of his beer mug.

Gojyo just held his hand out, "I'll pay you back." Sanzo snorted.

"You never pay me back."

"Swear to gods, I'll buy you a new pack, promise," the sprite said as he crossed his heart with his fingers, smiling. Sanzo finally looked at him, eyebrow lifted slightly to accentuate the sneer on his lips. A moment later Sanzo passed him a thin white cigarette and Gojyo lit up eagerly, coughing once at the taste. "Least it makes the beer drinkable."

"Mmm," Sanzo agreed. They drank in silence for a few moments, Sanzo contemplating whatever it was he contemplated, Gojyo watching Hakkai winning in the mirror, again and again and none of the others accusing him of cheating. Hakkai was just that good. Gojyo had often suspected that his friend did indeed cheat, but could never really figure out how.

Not that he'd asked, that would've been rude, and Hakkai hated rudeness.

Then again, Hakkai had been a bit of an asshole recently, so maybe a bit of rudeness was in order to get his bleeding attention, Gojyo thought to himself as he sucked in the deep smoke. Perhaps it was finally time to ask…

Gojyo was still considering methods to trick Hakkai into revealing his chard-playing tricks, but he hadn't come up with much.

First off, one didn't trick Hakkai into anything; the guy was sharp as they came and perhaps smarter still. He had eyes that saw everything, even if they did seem squinted in that ridiculous grin of his.

Second, Gojyo had never once seen Hakkai drink until drunk. Certainly once or twice they'd shared a beer or two, but Hakkai had just the right kind of composition that made it damn near impossible to get drunk. Asking by that method would be seen through in an instant.

Third, this wasn't really about cards anyway, Gojyo realized that as they bumped along in the Jeep. He quietly watching the dust clouds that plumed behind them, ignoring the monkey as he thought, but could still think of nothing.

Really, this was all Hakkai's fault. He'd been on his own moody escapade for the past week and it hadn't passed Gojyo unnoticed. When he'd asked about it, Hakkai had just shrugged him off. For the past week Hakkai'd been avoiding him, just smiling and sending him off on his way with a quiet word or siccing the monkey on him…

Well, no more. Gojyo had had enough of this and it was time for a counterstrike.

Soon as they got to the next town and checked into the inn, he'd make sure he and Hakkai were roomed together. Let the priest deal with the monkey-boy's snoring, Gojyo had plans…

The inn was a tiny wooden structure, two stories tall and seemed to sway with every ghost of breath off the desert. Of course, there were no ghosts of breath, more like a rainless monsoon, and every time a board creaked Gojyo was sure the whole building would come crashing down on his head.

It didn't help any the looks the owner and his sweet-thing daughter gave him. Everyone knew what he was, had probably seen it before and seen what had happened to it. Perhaps they were what happened to it…

With that thought, Gojyo felt even less safe and even hid his hair under a bandanna and met everyone's eyes with an 'I dare you' look. Even so, he could feel their gazes on his back, they waves of simple hatred that so staggeringly filled the rooms. He only stayed to have one bottle of beer, both flat and warm, before escaping to his room. He hadn't bothered to turn on the lights and didn't dare go near the window. Last town like this had hit him in the head with a rock when he'd tried to open the window for air. It was better to deal with the stuffiness than to have another concussion, especially with Sanzo as his caretaker. The man was about as sympathetic as a snow yeti with a vocabulary.

Gojyo jumped when the door opened, hand reaching for whatever weapon he could touch (the chair he'd been sitting on), ready to lug it at whoever was dumb enough to think of taking him on. Hakkai flipped on the light and looked up at him, surprised, then laughed, putting his hands up in surrender.

"I'm not armed, promise," Hakkai said through his smile. Gojyo set the chair down, but didn't let the man's little joke make the past week disappear. At any other time, it probably would've, but he was generally feeling sour, this night's oh-so-friendly accommodations being the icing on the cake.

"Shut the door before some loony gets in," Gojyo growled, "What do you want? It's too early for your bedtime."

"I didn't think winning at cards would be good for our rather poor reputation, and I brought some beer," Hakkai said, holding up two bottles of frosty beer. He offered one to Gojyo, smiling and popped the lid off his own on the edge of the table.

Gojyo silently opened his bottle and took a deep swig of fresh, cold beer. For a moment he was thankful he'd roomed with Hakkai, mad as he was at him. The man seemed to know when he was feeling bad about himself, and Gojyo suspected that Hakkai sensed a great deal more and chose to ignore it for Gojyo's pride. Even so…it felt like Hakkai was trying to protect him…

And Gojyo hated being protected…He wasn't some woman.

Gojyo grimaced and sank down in his chair, setting the bottle on the table. Hakkai sat down with him, smile a little fragile now, his good eye watching his face carefully. Gojyo met Hakkai's gaze, looking into the other man's spectacled eye, veiled behind a fall of dark hair and the sheen of white blindness. Hakkai looked away suddenly and pulled a deck of cards out of his pocket, holding it up in question. Gojyo just turned away and drank his beer, listening to his friend sigh and shuffle the deck, to every card as it landed on the table when they were dealt.

Automatically, Gojyo picked up his cards, counting in his head. Eight…

"What is this, fucking Crazy Eights?!" Gojyo growled. Hakkai just shrugged as he arranged his cards.

"Seems like the only thing you'll play with me anymore…" Hakkai explained pleasantly.

"Because you cheat!" There, he did it…sort of. Hakkai's eyes cut to him, suddenly gleaming, dangerous with anger for the simple accusation. No, Hakkai didn't like unpleasantness at all. Gojyo was being unpleasant, ruining the way things were supposed to be in his little world.

He and Hakkai were supposed to be best of friends, supposed to get along always. It as expected on both sides.

Perhaps, Gojyo thought, it was time for a fight. It'd been years since they'd had a real good fight…

"I do not cheat," Hakkai said gently, even though there was a certain sharpness in his tone.

"Bull shit!" Gojyo shouted as e slammed his cards down on the table.

"No, I don't believe we're playing that game," Hakkai said authoritatively, "Sit down, Gojyo."

"No." Now Gojyo sounded like a petulant child…

Hakkai looked at him for a moment, and then set down his cards with a sigh. "What is this really about, Gojyo? You've been irritable all week."

"Because you've been avoiding me! I want an explanation!"

That sounded like a weaker argument than he'd thought before. In his head it had worked out…gods damn it!

"I've been avoiding you because you've been in a funk," Hakkai countered, his voice now entirely sharp. Even though it could've cut paper, his voice didn't rise a single decibel.

"Well…well fuck you!" Weak, so weak…Why couldn't he ever stay angry at Hakkai? Why couldn't he stick to his argument, just once? He never had any problems with Sanzo and the kid, so why Hakkai?

He felt so stupid, especially the way Hakkai was looking at him, affronted and bushed up like an insulted owl. Gojyo's self-righteous indignation deflated quickly, with a quiet sigh like a fallen cake…he felt as if he'd worked himself up for nothing.

Perhaps that was what it was, simply nothing…but wait.

Hakkai was looking a bit guilty too...wouldn't meet his eyes…

"I'm sorry, you're right, Gojyo," Hakkai said softly, "Perhaps I have avoided you, it was not with any intention to insult you."

Great, now Gojyo felt guilty for yelling at him…he just couldn't win, could he? Cheating scoundrel, that Hakkai, stealing everything…

"Well…Why?" Gojyo demanded, trying to keep up his front, though he wasn't really angry anymore, his face pink more with embarrassment than any amount of fury. That was gone now.

Hakkai wouldn't look at him, just down at his hands, turning them over and rubbing his palms together nervously, fingering the soft gold wedding band on his left hand…

Oh…oh no…it was Kannan thing…

Guilt surged through Gojyo's veins and he slowly sank back into his chair. He propped his elbows on the table and buried his face in his upturned hands, his gut tight with self-hatred.

"Oh, man, I'm sorry…I'm such an insensitive bastard…"

"It isn't your fault," Hakkai whispered, but he still wouldn't look up at him. Gojyo knew, he watched him through his fingers, feeling pity and jealousy war just behind his teeth for the next words to slip off his tongue.

Jealousy won, of course.

"I remind you of what could've been, good or bad," I hissed. Hakkai's eyes shot up at him, green glowing with vehemence. The grin set of his mouth demanded to know how Gojyo dared say something like that. Gojyo just finished his beer.

"It's cool, 'Kai," Gojyo said, taking off his bandanna and flipping his hair out of his face, "May've been dark of me, but I was kind of expecting this. Sooner or later you're going to hate me." Gojyo grinned and balanced the bottle on the table, picked up his cards and arranged them by suit.

"Keep talking like that and I just might," Hakkai countered unexpectedly, "You're right, sometimes you are an insensitive bastard."

"I'm right about a lot of shit, Hakkai, wake up."

"Goddamnit, Gojyo, just shut up!" Hakkai shouted.

Gojyo dropped his cards, dropped his smile and both seemed to land in his lap. He was thankful he wasn't drinking his beer…

Hakkai never shouted, ever, especially not at Gojyo. Certainly he'd given the redhead a couple deadly looks and once or twice punched him, but never, ever raised his voice. It made the hair on Gojyo's arms rise.

Gojyo blamed Kannan, the little dead bitch. If it weren't for her, Hakkai wouldn't ever been this fucked up.

If it weren't for her, though, Gojyo would've never met Hakkai, however fucked up he may have been, and at the time and many times after Gojyo had been in desperate need of a friend. Even a distracted friend was better than none…

Gojyo lowered his eyes and Hakkai got up, continued to vent. Gojyo could almost hear the binds of his friend's mind break as he quickly and angrily snapped.

About time, too.

"Yes, you make me think of that child she was carrying, that taboo child and it hurts just to look at you sometimes, especially on the anniversary of her death! That's why I've been avoiding you, so are you happy now?! You know my great big secret, so aren't you just delighted?!" Hakkai oozed anger, thick as grease, looming over Gojyo and taking hold of the collar of his shirt, forcing the redhead to glance up and meet his eyes. Gojyo flinched at the look in them, the sheer hatred that swam there for a moment before Hakkai finally collected himself, seemed to shrink.

"Hakkai…" Gojyo's voice was guilt-ridden; even he could hear it…

Hakkai let his collar go and turned away, headed for the door. Gojyo shot out of his chair, knocking it over in his hurry to catch the other man. He grabbed Hakkai's wrist and turned him around, shoved his shoulders back against the door.

"Don't run away," Gojyo asked gently, "I'm sorry I said that. I know it-"

"You mean it and you were right," Hakkai sighed, trying to look anywhere but at Gojyo's face.

"Even so, it was cruel of me."

Hakkai still wouldn't look at him. Gojyo stopped twisting Hakkai's arm to hold him still, then thought for a moment.

"We should do something," the redhead finally said. Hakkai looked up, confused.

"What?"

"For her, for Kannan, in her memory or something…"

"Like what?"

"I don't know!" Gojyo snapped, mind busily trying to think of something that would please a spirit. "There was a temple somewhere close to here, I think…we could go light some incense or something…"

"No. She disliked temples…"

"Then I'm fresh out of ideas."

A moment of quiet, Hakkai's breath stirring Gojyo's hair and blooming over his face, sour from the beer, but pleasant and welcome because it was Hakkai's breath.

"It's snowing…" Hakkai said finally, looking over Gojyo's shoulder at the window, where indeed, white flakes were hitting the window.

"It's been snowing a while, since we got in…never would've thought it this far South…" Gojyo muttered, backing away from Hakkai before things got uncomfortable…

"Let's go out."

"But it's cold! We don't have coats!"

"We won't be long…"

Gojyo sighed. Really, he could never say no to Hakkai…

"A snowman? We're going honor Kannan by building a fucking snowman?! No way, I'm going inside," Gojyo grumbled, already turning back to the inn. Hakkai sighed.

"Gojyo, you owe me," Hakkai's voice was hard, "Now get back here and help me roll up the base."

Muttering, Gojyo did as he was told, bending over in the bitter cold, rolling a snowball up and packing the layers tight against it until it was big enough to please Hakkai, who was making the middle. By the time it was rolled into place, Gojyo's hands were bright red with cold and he was shivering, unused to the chill weather. There were already icicles in his hair.

Half an hour and one trip to the inn's galley later and Hakkai and Gojyo were standing before a freshly made snowman, their faces red from the biting wind, clutching their sides for warmth. Hakkai was smiling a quiet, inner smile Gojyo rarely ever saw, and it warmed the redhead to see it after so long, even if he was freezing his ass off.

Eventually Hakkai decided they could go inside and they quickly shuffled through the inn to their room. Moments passed and they had shed their wet clothes and huddled around the radiator, Hakkai picking ice and snow out of Gojyo's hair as the other man kept up a stream of soft cursing.

"It wasn't that bad, Gojyo," Hakkai admonished without any force behind it. Really, Gojyo was amusing him.

"It wouldn't be if you'd stop pulling my hair…I hope you're happy because I think I got frostbite on my bleeding nose…"

Hakkai laughed and tapped the end of Gojyo's nose with his cold finger. Gojyo yelped with surprise and rubbed his nose, glaring at Hakkai. Hakkai ignored him, settling down next to Gojyo and wrapping a warming blanket around his shoulders.

"You're just cold, is all. You'll warm up in no time."

"Whatever…" Though, Gojyo was already starting to feel the radiator's warmth soak into him.

They sat in companionable silence, leaning slightly against one another as they faced the quietly rumbling radiator, musing. Surprisingly, it was Hakkai that he broken the silence, though Gojyo had been itching to do so for a while before.

"Thank you for that…I feel a little better now…" Hakkai said quietly, tucked into his blanket. Gojyo looked at him through the corner of his eye, wishing he had a cigarette to make him feel cool and aloof in the face of an impending moment of sappiness. He didn't feel comfortable getting really close to people, even Hakkai…just too many hurts in the past…Even so…he wanted it…

Gojyo sighed and stuck his hands out toward the radiator. "Sure, okay."

Hakkai turned to face him, expressions open in his eyes. He was smiling. Gojyo sighed again and finally looked back at Hakkai.

"You're welcome, 'Kai."

Hakkai smiled wider and leaned in, pressed his lips against Gojyo's for a moment, then pulled away and turned back to the radiator. Gojyo blinked in shocked silence for a moment, then sloppily pulled his composure back together.

"That was unexpected…" Gojyo finally said.

"It has been a while," Hakkai agreed, "By the way, Merry Christmas."

"But I didn't get anything for you…I was too pissed off…"

"Oh, no. You gave me a wonderful present," was the reply, then with a sly smile, "Come here, I'm still cold…"

Fin Cheat

Please Review

Author's Notes: I guess we'll never know how Hakkai wins all those card games…I'm sorry if the fandom believes that Kannan would so easily be forgotten, but if Hakkai kept angsting at me I was going to kill him…

Hakkai: Oh, woe is me! My love is dead!

Poco: Please, please, please just shut up…Anyways, the story wouldn't have worked out so beautifully otherwise…