Chapter 16: Grief and Confessions
(May 4th --- 29 day after Outbreak)
Brushing away the dirt and dust that had accumulated on her skirt, Kelsey stood up and surveyed the woods for any sign of movement. Still nothing, she thought with a worried sigh as she looked at her watch; it was nearing 8:30. Six hours had passed since the runners drove up in the police car. On a whim Kelsey looked up and over at Dave, who sat tensely, reading a copy of Sun-Tzu: The Art of War.
"Hey Dave!" she called to draw his attention, "where are the runners that came back? I would have expected them to come up to wait with us."
"Trust me," Dave said, shutting the warped old library book and looking up at her, "if it was up to them they would be right up here with us."
"What do you mean?"
"Mrs. Lipinski has them in quarantine," Dave replied with just the slightest hint of amusement. "She heard the news they brought back, which I thought was kinda a given, and set up a new quarantine protocol where by everyone who leaves Intrepid for an extended period of time must be quarantined until they are checked for bite marks."
Kelsey nodded silently in approval but bitterly added to herself, It would have been nice of her to inform me or Olivia. It's not like we're the acting leaders or anything.
Dave went back to reading his book and Kelsey went over to see how Olivia was holding up. She found the other woman leaning over a railing that had been put up only a week and a half ago to keep people from accidentally falling off the roof.
She was wearing baggy purple sweat pants and a red windbreaker; in Kelsey's opinion the mix both complimented and conflicted with her personality, in the sense that the bagginess of it reflected her shy and self conscious nature but at the same time the colors were bolder than her usual earth toned attire.
"I bet they will be back soon," Kelsey said in a forced optimistic tone as she leaned over next to her and looked up at the moon shining bright overhead. Olivia didn't respond.
Time to bring out the big guns, Kelsey decided. "You know," she began teasingly with an impish grin starting to form, "my grandpa once told me that it is customary for soldiers returning from war to be greeted by a tireless night... If you know what I mean."
Olivia stood perfectly still for a moment as the implication sank in and then, like a dam bursting, her cheeks reddened and it began to spread throughout her face until she resembled the color of a cherry. "M-me... Me and Jacen...," Olivia stammered and looked at the ground with such intensity that Kelsey wondered if it might spontaneously combust.
Kelsey put a hand on Olivia's shoulder and shook it gently. "Olivia... Olivia it was a joke."
"You have a perverted mind!" Olivia said in an accusing yet good-natured voice, drawing courage from her inner Melissa.
"Maybe I do," Kelsey said in a whimsical voice, pausing to take a blue scrunchie from around her wrist and tie her bright red hair back in a pony tail, "Or maybe I just wanted to-"
-Beep- -Beep- -Beep-
Kelsey and Olivia surveyed the surrounding woods for the origin and quickly spotted a pair of bright headlights. As quickly as they could they all ran from the roof and made their way to the gym.
"One moment sir, I'll ask," Connor said into his headset and then bumped his leg up and down a few times to get Sally's attention.
Sally looked over her shoulder. "You know, a tap on the shoulder would have sufficed."
"Can't," Nate replied gruffly, "I'm using one arm to keep your tiny ass from falling out of the truck and the other to make sure that my big ass doesn't fall out." Sally's face flushed a little bit at being reminded that she has been sitting on Nate's lap for the better part of a half hour; one part of her, the more mature part, resented the necessity while another got a sort of thrill out of sitting on an attractive albeit filthy man's lap.
"Whatever," she said nonchalantly. "So what does Mendez want?"
"The Captain's spotted the school a couple of miles up ahead; he wants to know what to do when we get there."
"Circle around back once we are a mile out," she decided after a moment. "Ever since the outbreak there has been a couple dozen creatures out front, so we mostly use the gym entrance out back. Once we get there I'll give the pass signal for them to open up, and they should be waiting."
Nate relayed the information to Mendez, using the term demon instead of creatures. That irritated Sally; just like the incident at the police car earlier, it just didn't seem right. They were people damn it!
Once he was done relaying the instructions Nate tilted his head to the side in confusion. "Pass signal… it seems kinda excessive, don't ya' think?"
It's not his fault, she rationalized, hell he has a right to say whatever he wants after all the crap he's been through. "It would be excessive if it was only for the creatures, but it was, in fact, a protective measure against you; initially we thought you might be bandits so we set it up so that anyone who doesn't knock on the door in the right pattern won't be let in."
"What is the pattern?"
"Rice-a-roni," she said cheerfully as childhood memories bubbled up.
"What the hell is that?"
Sally shrugged and explained, "Some sort of food; never tried it but the pattern is a jingle about the food that came up the TV a lot when I was a kid."
"You still are a kid."
She glared at him, but found it hard to hold it with her currently inappropriate giddy mood. "Anyway, it went like this," she started bobbling her head from side to side and waving her index fingers in unison. ''………Rice-a-roni, the San-Francisco treat."
Nate stared at her with a worried look. "Are... Are you feeling ok?"
Sally's face reddened in anger, thinking he was making another joke. "That's the last time I share a beloved childhood memory with you!" she said fiercely and then looked away; outside Sally could just barely see the school as the truck drove around. Mendez honked the horn a few times to announce their arrival.
"Sorry," Nate said apologized as the truck's bleating horn faded, "I wasn't trying to make fun of you... I've seen a lot of tough guys crack after long periods of intense stress, and generally they all showed random mood swings..."
"Keep going," Sally said encouragingly, shifting her body to the side so that she could look at him.
Nate sighed. "I just put together the facts. You ain't battle hardened -yet- and you are singing about food while your boyfriend is hurt."
"He is not my boyfriend!"
"Come on! I saw the look in your eye when he volunteered for that suicide mission," Nate rolled his eyes. "No one cares about their bodyguard that much."
Sally's eyes narrowed. "Fine, He was not my bodyguard; you happy now?"
"Umm… yes?"
She looked away indignantly. "But he was certainly not my boyfriend; he's too much of a bleeding heart for my taste."
"So if he wasn't your bodyguard or your boyfriend then-"
"Later!"
The truck screeched to a halt and began to drive in reverse towards the gym, giving Sally a full view the school, and, more importantly, the gym doors; almost home, she thought happily.
Within a minute the truck was only feet away from the doors. Sally pried herself from Nate's hold and jumped out of the truck. She ran up to the door and knocked the rice-a-roni signal on the door. At first nothing happened and she feared that no one was listening, but then the doors erupted inwards. Two rows of IDF came marching out holding all sorts of improvised weapons, forming a wide semicircle around the truck.
"Impressive," Mendez commented as he, Mike, and Marquis got out of the front of the truck. Nate met up with them while Sally and her IDF began helping all the civilians off the truck and carrying what supplies they had brought with them.
The last people off the truck were the two men who carried Jacen and a civilian doctor who insisted on staying with him. Sally consented and followed them inside with Mendez, Nate, Mike, and Marquis following in tow.
The interior of the gym came as somewhat of a shock to Sally; she had expected the IDF, but three makeshift tents made of hastily woven blankets and shower curtains came as a surprise to her. In front of one tent she could see Brett and her other IDF standing in line. What the hell is all thi-
Sally's thought where interrupted by a shrill cry coming from the other side of the gym. She looked over to see a short girl wearing purple pants and a red jacket sinking to the ground in tears. A taller girl who stood next to her called over two IDF from the hallway and had them lead the girl out of the room.
"What's going on?" Dave bellowed, as he ran towards her from around one of the tents, followed by a teacher who looked to be in her mid twenties. He stopped in front of Sally and silently watched as the teacher went over to look at Jacen.
She began speaking with the doctor rapidly in medical jargon. "We're taking him to the nurse's office," the woman announced after she finished with the doctor. They both took over carrying Jacen and then rushed out the adjacent door while two IDF held it open for them.
Dave watched Jacen as he was carried out of the room, agony visible on his face, and then turned back towards Mendez. "I suppose the show must go on," he sighed. "Let me introduce myself: I'm Dave Richards, General of the Intrepid Defense Force… So which of you is Captain Mendez?"
She smothered her head deeply into the pillow for what felt like the millionth time. Olivia had stopped counting the moments where she had cried into this very pillow. The moments spanned over the course of several years, and, as a result, the pillow's once pristine, white color was faded and yellowed by her tears. They flowed from the corner of her eyes and became absorbed by the material, as if the drops were her grief taken physical form, and her pillow its home.
The familiar smell brought with it memories of the other times the pillow had taken her tears, times of despair. Olivia began to remember the first time she had cried into the pillow, a little less than three years ago when her best friend had betrayed her... No, not betrayed, she corrected bitterly, he would have had to have actually been a real friend at one point to be able to call what he did a betrayal! Olivia forced that memory back into her subconscious; she didn't like thinking about her life during eighth grade, about him.
The door made a clicking noise as the lock was turned and it opened slowly, making a creaking noise. Hearing the noise, Olivia looked up to see a tall, slender figure stroll in, carrying a lantern that dimly illuminated the dark room; the figure sat down on the adjacent bed and placed the lantern on a nearby nightstand, turning a knob to feed the flame.
"How are you holding up?" the figure asked cautiously as Olivia's pupils constricted to compensate for the sudden abundance of light. But even before she could see clearly, Olivia knew who it was.
Olivia glanced at the mirror; her eyes where bloodshot and her usual lightly tanned cheeks had become swollen and pale. As if to add insult to injury she found that she also had a runny nose as well as hair as untamed as the Amazons'. "No…nn-not w-well," she managed to reply in between sobs, picking up a stray sock from the floor and using it to wipe her nose.
Melissa shook her head understandingly and walked to her dresser. "Olivia, Olivia, Olivia… what are we going to do with you?" she said in a motherly tone as she pulled out a pair of checkered boxers and a massive navy blue t-shirt with NYPD inscribed on it; specks of dust, ingrained into her clothing from the day's training classes, fell to the floor as she began to undress. Halfway through pulling on the boxers Melissa stopped, noticing Olivia was glancing at her.
"What?"
Olivia surfaced back into reality. "S-sorry," she apologized, bowing her head slightly. "I've just never seen that shirt before." The words caused Melissa to freeze as she glanced down at the shirt she had pulled from the depths of her dresser; for just an instant Olivia though she saw a blush rise to her friend's cheeks.
"You are such a weird girl," Melissa replied teasingly moments later, draping the shirt over her shoulder. "One moment you are crying your heart out for your boss who, may I remind you, you claim to have no romantic involvement with… and now you're criticizing my sleepwear. So, what is your deal?" she finished, giving Olivia a quizzical look as she placed her hands on her hips.
"I don't know…," Olivia said as her tears began to come faster, "I-I know that I shouldn't be crying like this just because of Jacen… it's just everything!"
"Like what?"
"Like you!" Olivia shot back, verbally knocking Melissa off guard. "I envy you more than you will ever know; I envy the way you look, the way you act, the way that you can stand in front of someone with nothing but boxers on and not give a shit… and you know what? I hate myself for it!"
Olivia broke down into incomprehensible sobs and dug her face back into her pillow. Melissa put her shirt on and sat down next to her and rested a hand on her friends shoulder reassuringly while she waited for Olivia to calm down. "I'm sorry Olivia, I never knew you felt so bad about this," Melissa said sadly a few minutes later after Olivia had quieted.
"That's just it," Olivia said as she lifter her head up and turned on her side, "I never used to feel like this before! It's just that I had never actually gotten so close to any boy before Jacen… given; it really wasn't really that close compared to most other people, but it was close for me. Then, when I saw them carrying him in, I imagined what it would be like if he died… I would be stuck this way foreve-"
She stopped cold and her face contorted in horror. "Oh god! I wasn't crying for him, I was crying for what losing him would mean for me; I'm a monster," Olivia declared, finishing in a low whisper.
Melissa enveloped her best friend in a hug. "You're a good person Olivia; maybe that's part of it but it certainly not all of it," she whispered soothingly into her friends ear. "I know that you care about him. Now get some sleep, you need it." Gently Melissa tucked her in, lifted the cover off of the lantern and blew the flame out.
"So, Mrs. Bishop," Connor began as he took a seat on the laminated wood flooring of the gym, now wearing a pair of blue jeans and a muscle shirt, "I believe that you have some explaining to do… especially since we where so kind as to keep our mouths shut about you, you know… lying."
Mendez sat perfectly still and waited for her to answer; it was just her and him at the moment; everyone else save Nate was still being checked. The process of doing a full body search of more than forty people had proven to a long and tedious task and was further hindered by the fact that there were only three people working at it; so far around three fourths of those present had been searched and given a fresh pair of clothes. Still, Sally thought anxiously, I feel cornered.
"Yes...," Sally began nervously, feeling more like a school girl than an IDF Captain. "Well I-"
"Anyone hungry?" Nate asked enthusiastically as he walked over cradling three hotdogs in his arms. He passed one to Connor and one to Sally and then sat down; Sally noticed with amusement that Nate was out of his uniform as well, now wearing a green shirt and a pair of shorts that where much too... Short.
Connor took a small bite out of his hot dog and swallowed. "Mmm, this is the best hotdog I've ever had, hands down!"
"You gotta be joking," Sally exclaimed, almost choking on a piece of hers. "This is cafeteria food man! Cafeteria food!"
"Trust me, Mrs. Bishop, when I say that, compared to the MRE's we have been eating for some time now, this hot dog tastes like it was made by God," Connor said ruefully as he swallowed the last of his hotdog, sounding as if he was already trying to forget the last month of his life.
Nate swallowed the last of his food enthusiastically. "So," he said, pointing at Sally, "she spilled the beans yet?"
Mendez shook his head. "I believe she is just about to get to that; isn't that right Mrs. Bishop?"
She nodded slowly and then let out a large sigh. "First off you must understand that there was and is no way to know if you have secret agendas and furthermore we wanted to make sure that you would not try to take over when you found out that the leader of Intrepid is..."
"Go on."
"...The leader of Intrepid is a seventeen year old boy," she said meekly, mentally preparing for the verbal bombardment from the two; it never came.
Nate and the Captain looked at each other and seemed to connect the dots simultaneously. "That kid wasn't you're bodyguard, he was your goddamn king!"
"Well not our king exactly," Sally began, "he doesn't have an official title, though most who don't know him personally call him Lord Jacen; he hates i-"
"Why?" Mendez asked in a hushed voice. Sally looked down at the ground, feeling too ashamed to make eye contact. From the moment Jacen volunteered she had known that she should not have let him go.
"He wanted to... No, he thought it was necessary to prove to you that he was a capable leader…"
I wonder; did he do it? She asked herself as they looked at each other in silence, did his bravery win them over... Or did his carelessness lose us a powerful ally?