Please Dont love me...

Disclaimer: yeah... not sure why we need disclaimers really, I pretty sure everyone realizes that I dont own any of the FMA characters. Oh well... i sure wish I did though

Authors note: Holy shit... I edited everything... All the chapters are at least one word longer. I made everything better and or longer. However... I didnt just make it more detailed and better to understand I... added... A SHIT LOAD OF NEW STUFFS!!! In some of them anyways. The chapters that have had the most tweaking is 'I'm not freaking sick!' which is now called 'Was Riza's sickness caused by the cafateria food?' Also the other one which is the longest fucking chapter I think I have ever made or seen... 11 freaking pages... well anyways it is 'sweet memories' which I added more to the 'memories' part. Believe me... you might want to reread things over again. You dont have to but please... your free to.

Forbidden Feelings

The chilly wind that blew across the dark city called Central shook the window's of Central Headquarter with every gust of wind.

One man sat in his office, resting his head, silently on his paper filled desk. He sighed, his deep dark eyes closed and a tired expression plastered on his face… waiting for something. His mind off in someplace that only he knows about.

Why was he here? What was keeping him from parting for home? He couldn't wait to be staggering home, the glow of the streetlights leading him. Leading him to his empty home.

The window's shook, moaning as the wind brushed up against them. His eyes flickered open, oh what he would give to be in his bed right now. He couldn't wait for him to be laying there; dreaming about things that he cherished.

Being who he was, he thought that it was all he could do. Dreaming… fantasizing about things that he rather have kept to himself. However, that all changed. His dreams were somehow fulfilled with something.

He loved how the young boy moved. His hair… his size… but mostly his eyes. Somehow his eyes are the ones that captured the young man known as Roy mustang's attention.

Roy found himself, without even meaning to, gazing into them. Everyday when he was around the boy it seemed the eyes haunted him. Called to him. Called for him to come to meet them.

'A little bit longer,' he thought lightly. Just a little bit longer until he would come. Who was this 'boy'? The boy that this man seemed to desire so much.

You see… Roy mustang had a secret. A deep secret. Only on nights like this are his secrets allowed to be forgotten and he is given what he desires the most.

He could finally have fun. This boy gave it to him, he gave everything to him. This boy was his pleasure. His source of fun. His only source of pleasure. Well the kind of pleasure that this only this boy seemed to give him.

Roy remembered well when it all started. When he still gazed into the fiery eyes that glared back. He remembered staring into the eyes thinking how much they mocked him. They are the ones that said 'you want me but can't have me'.

That was when the fantasies remained fantasies. When the forbidden remained forbidden. When the feelings remained dormant.

Edward Elric, the golden haired prodigy. Only fifteen, yet known through out the land as a legend. A kid of talent. Also a kid of secrets.

Roy Mustang, a strong military man who seems to know what he is doing. Known as the Flame alchemist. Making his way to the top hoping to have as little unnecessary intrusions as possible. He was… a man who keeps too many secrets.

The two… they have known each other ever since Edward was a small boy. They hated each other. Their ways and outlook on things completely different.

Roy thought that everything had a simple rule to follow. He thought that nothing else mattered as long as he got what he wanted. With only a few things that seemed important to him in mind he went through his days with little hardships.

Edward… he thought that everything could be made the way he wanted. If he tried as hard as he possibly could then what he wants to happen will happen. He thought that the simplest way to solve things is beat whatever was bothering him to a bloody pulp. Not the greatest way to think about life but still… it was his way. Also, after what he had been through… it seemed to fit him the best.

However, Edward wasn't the only one with hardships that seemed to haunt him from his past. Being the military man Roy mustang was he had been told to do a lot of things. Most of them involved bloodshed and illogical actions that seemed to go completely against the humanity of humans.

They seemed completely different besides their gender. Their ages were miles from each other and their looks could look any more different. Everything about them screamed the word 'different'.

However, opposites attract I guess… and it went with them for the most part. However, their gender was the only thing they seemed to have in common.

The two fought and fought hoping that the fighting would hide their interest in each other. They fascination in the sudden difference in front of them. So… due to their fascination, without even meaning to they steadily became friends. Even though they seemed to hide it extremely well and only few could tell that they weren't as hateful towards each other as they first thought to be.

Yes they were Friends… more or less.

But still… friends… to more? This was the last thing that came to their mind when they saw each other. Their mouths on each other. Their hands on the other… months and months of this… months worth of unknown confused yearning and confusing feelings that suddenly come into play on nights much like this one.

Roy tried to remember their first touch… if by accident or not. He wanted to remember the first time his heart beat fast and the first time he felt his face become hot. He found it hilarious that he was stupid enough to actually not notice lust when he felt it. We sure was surprised to realize what it was he was feeling.

Roy's memories were ripped away by a sudden touch making him jerk slightly, he wasn't expecting any kind of touch. He hadn't heard anyone come in. Was he that deep in his daydreaming?
. His eyes flickered open to see golden eyes staring back at him and warmth on his lips. The deep eyes that were staring deeply into his closed and he felt a hand on his cheek as the warmth of the others lips sent a shiver of delight thru out his entire body.

He loved the taste… everything! Ed gave him something no woman that he randomly picked up on the side of the road could ever get him.

Roy wasn't going to lie. He was a complete ladies man. He liked sex… no scratch that, he loved sex (sex maniac…). All the feelings during it… he couldn't seem to get enough of it.

However… this boy filled all of Roy's needs by just touching him. Roy didn't want sex… well he did but… he didn't need it like he thought he did. He thought that the feelings that he got every time he looked at the boy were because the boys body was so appealing.

However… even though he loved the thought of sex with the boy he felt like all he needed was to stare into his eyes.

It was so hard to explain and Roy gave up along time ago trying to figure out what it all meant. He even slept on the idea that he may even like more than Ed's body. Ed himself was also very appealing.

The way his temper rose at even the slightest mention of his height. Or the way he thought about going about things. He always used his actions. He never thought things through… actually the boy was a complete mental case. As idiotic as they come. Yet… Roy loved everything about this idiotic mental case of his.

Roy closed his eyes and kissed back, a smile appearing slightly at the corner of his lips. As horrible as it is… their secret meetings could only surface on days like this. On days where they knew they wouldn't be caught. They could finally have their own time. Their own time to let out each others differences.

What's more is that they hardly speak at these secret meetings and when they do their voices are layered with passionate desire. Also their meetings couldn't last long. If they did something like… someone walking in on them… could happen. They 'secret' meetings would be best If they remained secret.

Ed who was on the other side of the desk, leaned closer trying hard to lean into the kiss more. He wanted to remembered every kiss The man gave him so that he could use the memories for later on when Roy wasn't with him to make them real.

Roy slowly stood up from his chair to press his lips harder against Eds. He wanted to feel him, everything about him he had been waiting to feel. It had all been worth the wait until now, a Friday night at eleven o'clock at night.

Ed's hand moved to the back of Roy's head. Running his fingers through his thin black hair that he loved so much. He subconsciously brought up his knee and slowly got up on the table.

He was now sitting on the table, his arms rapped around his lovers shoulders and pressing his lips urgently against his own. Roy, who was filled with lust up to the rim, quickly wiped the papers from the desk making them scatter all over the ground.

Ed then pulling himself closer to Roy, their chest just inches from each other. The Flame alchemist managed to tear his hands from the warm cheeks of the boy he yearned for to rap his arms around his slim waist.

Their chests pressed now fully together, their lips still locked with one another. Just once did they manage to take their lips off of each other for a slight breath and a slight gaze into each others eyes.

Then Roy, whom was holding on to Ed, sat back down in his chair, pulling Edward down onto his lap. Ed's legs wrapped around Roy's waist and were slightly uncomfortable being crushed against the back of the chair.

Their bodies now fully pressed together. A satisfied moan escaped one of their lips… but it was lost in their mouths leaving the moaners owner unknown.

Ed's hands ran down Roy's cheeks and neck lightly. Tickling him as he did so. The slight touch sent a sensation that Roy knew all to well travel through his already sweating body.

Then a gasp escaped the mans mouth when the lips left his own and went crashing down on his collarbone. Ed ran his tongue across it delicately as if his true purpose was to tease the poor man.

He then started unbuttoning the golden buttons on his lover's blue military top with painful slowness that Roy felt was completely unnecessary. It slid off with little effort leaving Roy now in a his white shirt which was tucked into his pants neatly.

'too neatly… we need to mess that up a little' the young boy thought with a mysterious look on his face which made the Man smile at the young boys obvious thoughts that were definitely going through his head. They were going through Roy's too, he just wanted the boy to hurry, he was seriously not going to wait much longer than this… he had been waiting way to long for this day to have to wait for the wanted pleasure to come to him.

Ed smiled as his hands went down further and slowly into the mans pants his hands now digging gently in Roy's pants making Roy jump slightly. He then brought his hands back out with the white shirt with.

He ran his hands up under Roy's shirt, tickling him some more. Then the shirt suddenly went up revealing the pale chest of the man to the small boy, who by the way had a completely excited look on his face.

He kissed Roy's chest once lightly. He hardly brushed his lips up against the surface. He looked up at Roy who's eyes were closed obviously waiting patiently for whatever was to come next.

Ed than ran the tip of his tongue up the pale mans chest. His hands still holding up the shirt obviously too lazy or impatient to bother with taking it off.

The man didn't even realize that a moan escaped his lips when the blonde alchemists lips went over one of his nipples. The warmth of the boys tongue was just too good and when it slowly circled his nipple and nibbled on it a little.

Roy just couldn't seem to take the good of it all. He clutched at the boys clothing on his back, wanting him to go farther… its not like they had all the time in the world.

Then… without even half expecting it there was a soft knock on the door and both alchemist turned to it in half confusion. They listened more closely not really expecting another knock when it came.

They worked as fast as possible.

The shirt when back down, the boy was suddenly shoved under the desk and the colonel combed out his hair with his slender fingers. There was absolutely nothing he could about the sweat collecting on his face… not to mention every other part of his body.

The door slowly opened and a very strict blonde woman walked in with a most confused look on her face.