A/N: Narcissa and Lucius belong to JK Rowling, and definately not me.

Death By Zucchini - 1991

The sun had been long up in Wiltshire, yet Malfoy Manor was still silent. The master and mistress of the house were having a very slack day, and despite it being ten o'clock, they were still in bed.

It was September the second, which meant that Draco had just gone to school two days before. So obviously, they'd been in bed for a day and half. Quite literally. They hadn't had a house free of Draco in a very long time, so they'd taken full advantage of the newly empty house.

Now, after all this time in bed, they were quite tired. Narcissa was still asleep (they'd only gotten to sleep at around three am), and Lucius was reading the first of his newspapers. He liked to start out with the wizarding papers, and then move onto the muggle papers. Yes, he read the muggle papers. They made him laugh, and he always needed a good laugh.

Dobby suddenly emerged with their breakfast. He moved silently and quickly. As long as he didn't make a noise, Lucius would ignore him.

Lucius carried on reading the paper as though Dobby wasn't there, although he was painfully aware that the elf was in the room. He'd made himself a promise that he wouldn't yell at Dobby unless he did something wrong. Draco was becoming a spoilt brat, and he wasn't sure he liked it. He was also aware that it was most likely his fault that Draco had turned out this way.

"Dobby, tea," he ordered, holding out his hand. Dobby meekly put the cup and saucer onto his palm, before disappearing. He wasn't going to stay around, just in case he had done something wrong.

Lucius took a sip of his tea, and discovered to his delight, that it was chai tea. It was definitely his favourite flavour.

Narcissa stirred, and sleepily opened her eyes. When she realised that Lucius was awake, she sighed softly, rolled over onto her belly, and rested her chin on his chest.

"Morning Luch," she greeted her husband, looking blearily up at him.

"Morning dear," he replied, leaning down to kiss her forehead. "Want some breakfast?"

"If I get to eat it off you," she replied with a cheeky grin.

"No, I'm trying to read the paper here. You may just get in the way."

Narcissa pouted, still looking up at him. She batted her eyelashes.

"No, Ciss. I need to catch up on my news. I didn't read anything yesterday."

"You could not read anything today too, if you like."

"Not right now, love. I really do need to catch up on the news."

Narcissa pouted some more, before hopping out of bed, and wandering over the breakfast table. Due to their activities the night before, yes, she was naked. Lucius was acting oblivious to this fact, though he was anything but. He wouldn't let her know that though.

Narcissa sat in the chair facing Lucius, chomping away happily on a crumpet, sipping a glass of pineapple juice.

"Well, my dear, what's happening in the news then?"

Lucius frowned, looking down for a random headline.

"A man was killed after having a whole zucchini stuff down his throat."

Narcissa couldn't help the giggle that escaped from her mouth.

"Death by zucchini. I always wondered if that was possible."

Lucius didn't get back to his paper for a while.