Disclaimer: I do not own Phantom of the Opera

To whom it may concern:

Against my better judgment I am starting this journal. As a habit, I don't like to write things down. The concept of having tangible proof of my innermost thoughts is unsettling to me. What if someone reads this? I know it's cynical… but I have never had a good experience with leaving evidence of my feelings.

When I was younger, I wrote a letter to Raoul confessing to him my undying devotion only to have it intercepted by one of his friends and read aloud to the whole group of boys… one of the most mortifying experiences of my life. I was thirteen, and it was a silly crush… but at the time I was devastated. Oh, Raoul… I wonder whatever became of him? When he moved away, I was certain the world would end.

Once I wrote a letter to friend telling her of my plans to sneak out of the house. My father found it first and my friend and I were both punished. Father… I miss him so…

Actually, he is the reason I am keeping this journal. I'm afraid I haven't been doing well since his death. Mama Valerius thinks I am bottling up my emotions. She is probably right. She is such a good woman. She has such a wonderful sense of humor… and she always seems to find the positive side of every situation. Lately she has been ill and I think her mind is not what it used to be, but she keeps such a good attitude that it's impossible to feel sad for her. I hope some of that has rubbed off on me over the years. I would be lucky to turn out like her. Anyway, when she asked me to start keeping a journal, I couldn't offer much of a fight… she's been nothing but kind to me and I don't have the right to refuse something so simple when she believes it is for my own good.

My hand is hurting. I suppose I've shared enough feelings today.

-Christine