The Twelve Disasters of Christmas

Written by SilverWolf7007 and dedicated to Aniala, cos I planned to write her a fic for Christmas last year and never did it (not that she knew about that).

On the first day of Christmas, my best friend gave to me…

A Kneazle in a Palm Tree

Hermione thought that Harry was the most wonderful best friend that a girl could ask for. She would do anything for him, and she knew that he would do anything for her.

Unfortunately, that was part of the problem. Another part of the problem was that Harry was evidently nowhere near as intelligent as she had previously thought.

The main problem, however, was the large tree currently in the centre of the Gryffindor Common Room.

It was only the sixth year students, plus Ginny and Colin, who were staying over the Christmas break in Gryffindor. Nine of them were currently staring at the tree in a mix of confusion and dismay. Harry just looked inordinately pleased with himself.

"Uh…what's this thing doing in here?" Dean asked eventually.

"It's a Christmas Tree, of course!" Harry pointed out in a tone that implied that the answer was obvious.

Neville eyed Harry out of the corner of his eye. "Harry…"

Hermione sighed. "Harry, dearest, that is not the sort of tree I was intending for you to get us."

Harry's smile vanished. "What are you talking about, 'Mione? You said to me, 'Harry, please go out into Greenhouse One and get a tree for the Common Room'. So I did."

Lavender cleared her throat and ran her fingers through her hair, fighting back laughter. "Har, it's a palm tree. It's Christmas time. What sort of Christmas Tree is a palm tree?"

"A tree on a deserted tropical island at Christmas time when someone's stranded on it," Harry said quite logically. He was pouting.

"Guys…" Ginny started. Her voice was halfway between amused and horrified. They all looked at her, and she pointed to the top of the tree. "There's…"

"Coconuts?" Ron asked, confused.

Ginny shook her head mutely and continued to point.

Colin and Seamus were the first to realise what she was pointing at, and both fell to the ground laughing.

Parvati saw it next, and gasped. "Oh dear…"

Hermione looked up into the tree, and noticed that some of the coconuts appeared to be orange…and a lot furrier than she would have expected…and one of them was staring at her with huge, terrified yellow eyes.

"Hermione…" Harry began slowly. "Why is Crookshanks in my Christmas palm tree?"

"More importantly," Ron sighed. "How are we going to get him down without being scalped?"

Which it might.

So yeah, expect an update a day. Not at any set time, though. Just when I get around to it. And yeah, they'll be short. Maybe even shorter than this one.

Wish me luck.

S. Wolf