Afterlife

Author Notes: In this story, Orochimaru did not give Sasuke the seal. We can say that someone killed him a long time before that happened. But the Third Hokage is still dead. He died from… age. Yeah. That's it. And Asuma is NOT DEAD! Happy fic, this is.

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto. At all. But you all knew that. Honestly.

Warning: I am Norwegian. Take the consequences. There will be swearing (in Norway we swear all the time, the words has lost all meaning), and there will probably be some weird-ass English. I shall try my best, though. Oh, yeah, this will also be a boyxboy fic. Jupps. SasuNaru.

Chapter 1: The Wonderful Day, Which Turned Out To Be A Shitty Day

(Soundtrack: Macarena)

Have you ever had one of those days when you feel like you're all alone in the world? Like no one cares about you? Like no one would care if you died? I bet you have. I think everyone has days like that once in a while. And I also think some people have them more often then others. I am one of those people. I'm not the regular emo kid, nor am I making problems where there are none. It's just that people have a knack of calling me annoying all the time. I mean, all the time. And sometimes I get really sad, and then I get really angry, and, well, everyone would feel a bit down, wouldn't they? Yeah, so it's probably no good reason for doing what I did, but come on; I had to do something, didn't I? And, when you think of it, it did sort of work. Sort of. Just not in the way I planned. Yeah. That's it.

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The day didn't start so different from any other day, really. I woke up about twenty minutes later then I should, but since I do this everyday, it's not a problem. My stomach is used to skipping breakfast, and even though Iruka-sensei says it's the most important meal of the day, I've never believed in it. I mean, come on! It's obvious that dinner is ten times more important! Everyone knows that. You eat most at dinner, and it's the only meal where people don't frown at me for eating ramen. Or, they frown at me for eating it at dinner too, because I rarely eat anything else, but they frown more at me when I eat it on other occasions. Yeah.

So anyway, when I woke up (twenty minutes too late), I simply put on my clothes, rushed my hear a bit (although it doesn't really need it, it's always messy anyway), and ran out of the door. If Sakura knew that I never wash myself or brush my teeth in the mornings, she would never touch me again. Not that she touch me all that much anyway.

It was a pretty nice day, really, the sun was out and shining, the birds were singing and the children were playing in the streets. Sounds awful, I know, but this particular day it was rather nice. Everyone was overzoned happy, which gave people very little time to glare at me and call me a brat. And that's always nice.

You know those kinds of songs half of the world hates and half of the world loves? I'm one of those guys that love them. If not for the fact that everyone knows them, then because, well, half of the world loves them and half of the world hates them. It's fun to sing them together with people who love them, and it's even more fun to annoy the crap out of people who hates them. Why am I talking so overly much about song like this? 'Cause very much of what happened did so just because of one of those songs. Seriously.

I was singing while I was walking down the Oh-So-Happy Street, on my way to meet Kakashi-sensei, Sakura and Sasuke-bastard. To be more precise, I was singing on Macarena. Oh yes. Macarena, the one and only. Of course I don't know any of the words but "Macarena", but that had never stopped me before, and it didn't then either. Honestly, does anything as stupid as not understanding ever stop me? I think not.

Sakura and Sasuke were already by the bridge, I could see Sakura standing as close to Sasuke she could without him moving away, and Sasuke standing as far as he could from Sakura without her moving closer. It's actually a really funny sight, if it wasn't for the fact that I had seen it loads of times before and that I liked Sakura back then. How things change.

When I reached them I was still singing the wonderful song, wondering whether or not Sakura was one of those who hated it. I already knew what Sasuke thought about it. I mean, back then I thought he hated everything. Though when I think about it now, he almost does. And he most certainly hates the Macarena. God knows why. And of course, Sasuke hating the Macarena equals Sakura hating Macarena. So really, if I had thought about it, I would have known what their opinions where, but hey, thinking is for suckers, and I am in NO way a sucker. Nope. Not me.

None-suckiness put aside, I decided to jump in front of them and do the Macarena-dance while singing as loud as I could. You know, to find out whether or not they liked the song. No other reason. Not to annoy Sasuke. At all.

So I jumped in front of them, yelling (forget the singing, fuck, I yelled) and moving (you can't really call it dancing either, to be honest) and grinning like a madman. I think I might have scared Sakura, 'cause she leaped into Sasuke's arms, and squealed that girly squeal of hers. Sasuke looked highly annoyed at the unwanted contact, he glared at both her and me at the same time (how he does it, I have no idea), and ripped the poor girl of his arm. "You're an idiot, Naruto," he said, still shuddering because someone touched him. (He's a wuss, isn't he?) Then he fixed his glaze upon (or downpon, since she lay down on the grown) Sakura. And the look he sent her, ladies and gentlemen! It was the coldest, iciest look I've seen on his face for a long time, a look I thought were reserved me. No regular glare there, no. That was a pure look of hate. Then he walked away. Of course Sakura blamed me for it, though I had never looked at her like that.

"Naruto! This is your fault!" she screamed at me while getting herself off the ground. When I tried to help her she hit my arm, real hard. "Why do you things like that? Do you want him to hate me? Huh? Naruto, answer me!" There were tears in her angry eyes, and I knew without doubt that the moment she was finished screaming at me, she would break down. After a while on the same team as her, I have learned some things, after all. One of them is: "Sakura breaks down when Sasuke's been mean towards her, but only after taking it out on me." An other one is: "Never talk back when Sakura is in a frenzy." Never. That'd be suicide. So I stood still and let it come, even though it wasn't my fault at all. I'm a nice fella, I really am.

I don't remember all of the stuff she said, but I do remember the last two sentences. "I hate you, Naruto! Why don't you go kill yourself, so I won't have to look at you again?" I don't know, she might have said something very much like it before (she probably had), but this day those words would be fatal. Or at least, most of the village would soon think that they were.

When I stood there, watching Sakura running away in the other direction of the way Sasuke had walk away in, I felt really… empty. Yeah, that's it. I felt empty. I didn't think too much about the it right then, because as earlier mentioned, thinking is for suckers, and even though girls do it all the time, I've never gotten exactly how you think about your feelings. Right by my apartment there lives this crazy arty-farty girl, and I overheard her say something about "feeling your feelings" once. How do you do that? Or, rather, how do you not do that? I mean, if you don't feel your feelings, you don't feel your feelings, which means you don't feel, right? Some people are weird.

So I waited for Kakashi alone, feeling uneasy without thinking about (or feeling) it. When he finally arrived, not as late as he usually is, but still late, he seemed sort of cranky and annoyed. Don't ask me how I get his moods with his mask on, 'cause I don't really know. I guess that too is something you just learn after a while. I've also learned that Kakashi isn't really annoyed for nothing, and was about to ask him what was wrong when he turned towards me. "You're the only one here. Why is that?" I put a hand behind my head and laughed nervously, wondering what I should tell him. I ended up with something along with: "Er. I scared them away?" which was really the truth. Or, I scared Sakura, who scared Sasuke, who scared Sakura, who shouted at me, and they both left. But I have no problem taking others blame, and that I said what I said to Kakashi obviously proves it. It's weird that people never praise me for being a generous guy, 'cause I really am. Seriously, I am.

Kakashi wasn't really pleased with that answer, which caught me a bit off guard. Usually, he would have been amused and said something like: "Well, we'll just have to go get them, then. And we'll do a D-ranked mission I have prepared, just for you!" and smile underneath his mask. But not this time. Instead he said: "We'll drop it today, then. And do twice as much tomorrow." He turned away from me, and dropped down his shoulders, and not in the "I'm-too-cool-to-stand-straight-up-like-any-other-person"-way, it was more crushed and defeated. Really unusual. "You better get yourself together, Naruto. This isn't good enough." I didn't know exactly what was wrong with him, but understood that it was something big. It's not that weird that I mistook his weird attitude for hating me, is it? I don't think so. Everyone would have thought that Kakashi-sensei was mad at them if they were in my shoes. Especially after Sakura and Sasuke being cold towards me earlier.

He left in a poof, like he always does, and I was left alone at the bridge again. So, what to do? I didn't stay and think about how mean everyone had been towards me, 'cause as you might have gotten now, I'm not one of those kinds of guys. And if you haven't gotten it, then you're really stupid, more stupid than the most stupid person in the world, which would be you. So there! But that's just the ones who doesn't get it, so all you others don't go around being offended by the incredibly clever insult I just made. I'm really clever, come to think about it. Never crossed my mind before, but geniuses don't usually know that they're geniuses at first, do they?

Anyway, I wandered towards Ichiraku, where they serve the best ramen ever, thinking that maybe Iruka-sensei would be there, and maybe, if I got super-lucky, he'd treat me. I started humming on Macarena again, just the thought of free ramen made me happy again, and why wouldn't it? I don't think it's anything lovelier than free ramen, honestly. There might be some things and persons who compete with it, but free ramen is the one thing I can always turn towards. Free ramen doesn't snap at you when you're being annoying, does it? Nope, it does not. It's just simply there for you. Or, to be more precise, it's just simply there for me.

Already far from the ramen stand I could see that something was wrong, although I couldn't really place what it was. But I stopped humming on Macarena. When I got a bit closer, though, I could see there was a note attached to the front of the stand. It scared me, it really did. What if it was closed forever? What if the chief were dead, and couldn't make more ramen? What if they didn't want me there anymore? Of all the things that happened that day (and I've only told half of it yet), the fright of something serious being wrong with the Ichiraku's is one of the one feeling which remains in me, though I try to shake it off as much as possible. I still shudder just by the thought of it.

The note didn't really say any of those things, though, but it was still bad. It would be closed for a week. One whole week! Without Ichiraku's ramen! It's terrible. And in a way, I'm really happy that I did what I did that one week, and not one where Ichiraku's were open, 'cause that would mean that I'd have to go one more week without ramen than I already have. And that would have been very unnecessary and stupid. So it might have been faith that it happened right then and there. Although, if the ramen stand were open, I'd probably not do what I did. Anyway.

I was pretty much crushed when I left the empty, closed and once-so-warm place. And even though the birds were singing, and the children still laughing, and the sun still shining, it didn't help at all. Actually, it annoyed me without an end. Why should those stupid kids be happy when I'm not? As I walked further, but no longer with any goal, I heard shouting not far away on my left side. And not happy-shouting. Really mad shouting. And, pissed as I were, I decided that looking at other pissed people might cheer me up. Again, I didn't think.

If I had thought, though, I would have listened closer before moving towards the loud shouting, and if I had listened closer, I wouldn't have moved closer either. Honestly, who interrupts Ino on a day she obviously has PMS and is shouting at someone? Someone either very stupid, or very brave. I say to myself that I'm one of the brave ones, but right then, I might have been a bit stupid. Or maybe I was both. All I know is that when I was close enough to see who did the shouting, and who was shouted at (which was Shikamaru, big surprise), I couldn't turn away. No way in hell if I could. I might have could if she didn't spot me. But she did. Which equals a pretty dead Naruto. And a pretty relieved Shikamaru.

"You! You upset Sakura this morning!" Ino came towards me fast, really fast, and though I'm not that much of a wuss that I'd back down, I really wished to. I still wish I did. Ino is so scary. "And I had to hold her in my arms for, like, ten minutes! Me! As if I don't got other things to do with my time!" It always surprises me how insensitive she and Sakura is towards each other, even though they're best friends. I should be used to it, but I'm not, and I don't think I ever will be. "And then I came too late to meet the others, and Asuma made me do all the crappy jobs, and I broke a nail," she waved one of her hands dramatically in front of me, so fast that I couldn't really see anything wrong with anything. Did not comment on it, though. I'm not suicidal. She continued her rant. "And today I was supposed to finally get together with Sasuke, because it's about damned time that I do, but YOU," she pointed a finger directly at me "YOU made him go home, and when I knocked on his door he simply said that he had had a crappy day, and that I should go somewhere else, and it's because of you, you, you… " She poked me hard with the same finger she pointed at me earlier, and with the risk of sounding wussy, it was really hard, and it really hurt. "You goddamned fucking loser! Stop being in the way for real people!" And then she turned and left, really fast and really angry.

Shikamaru looked at me, and simply walked away, as if nothing had happened. For him, it probably hadn't, when I think about it, he's probably used to Ino's crazy moods, but I wasn't (and aren't), so I stopped him. "Hey! Aren't you supposed to thank me?" I asked, and I felt it was the right thing to say. If someone stopped Ino (or Sakura, for that sake) from shouting at me, I'd go down on my knees and thank them. Shikamaru, on the other hand, didn't. "Why should I? It's not as if she won't continue what she was at later, anyway." He looked at me with what I guess was a bored look, but right then it felt really pissed and sourly. "This is so troublesome," he muttered, and walked away, with his hands in his pockets. I stood left alone, ignored, insulted and with a really painful throbbing in my chest where Ino had poked. Ok, so it might have been that it wasn't soooo hard, and soooo painful, but it felt painful, and it felt hard!

So, there I was, feeling about as crappy as someone could without turning emo, wondering what to next. Should I just go home, and wait for the next day to come and see if it turned out better than this one had? Or should I wander about to find something that could make me happier? I chose a third one. I chose to search for joy, as stupid as it might sound. First person I thought of was the old hag. Ok, she's not really sensible, but at least she can take your mind off whatever it's on. Always. Even if her comforting me would contain a bit screaming and a bit violence, I didn't mind, Tsunade is one of the only people who can both tell me to go to hell and be affectionate at the same time. There's really only one other who can do that, but I didn't know that at the time, and he'd already blown me off, sort of, so I headed towards her office.

Would I find what I was looking for at the Hokage-tower? Well, you probably already guessed it, but if you didn't, then I must tell you, no, I did not find what I was looking for. I found two angry guards. They told me that the old hag was busy (of course, they didn't call her an old hag, they said "Hokage-sama", but anyway), and would be for the rest of the day. It annoyed me to no end. "But it's important! I need to talk to her!" I stomped my foot hard in the ground, and held my arms crossed over my chest, to make a point. And a good point it was. The guards laughed at me. "Yeah? And what is so important?" I was about to tell them, but then it occurred to me that it really wasn't anything specific. It was more a lot of things. And what should I tell them? "Well, you see, I'm not feeling really good at the moment, and I need the old hag to insult me and hit me so I can feel better." Nope. Genius as I am, I understood that they wouldn't let me in with that. So I just stood there, hands crossed over my chest, wondering whether I should stomp my foot again. "You see, brat," one of the guards said to me "the Hokage is way to important to deal with someone like you." He eyed me up and down, with obvious disgust. It hit me pretty hard.

I shouted some bad things to them both before I left in a very huffy way, almost the same way Ino did earlier. It was all done very sophisticated and respectful. Oh, yeah, they know who's the boss now. When I was out of their sight, I kicked some random can near me as hard as I could. The can hadn't really done anything wrong, but some sacrifices must be taken sometimes. This time, the can had to sacrifice. It's life. Yeah, it's sort of barbaric, but that's how war is, you know. Ok, so the can wasn't in war, and neither was I, actually there wasn't any war at all, but anyway. It really isn't that big of a deal. It's a fucking can, for Christ' sake. Geez.

After I was done kicking (and also killing) the (poor) can, I thought about what was left to do. I found what I then saw as the last option. Iruka-sensei. Kind Iruka-sensei. Always nice. Except when he's bitchy, and when he's angry, and when he's worried. But other than those times, he's always nice. Usually.

So I walked in the direction of Iruka's house. It was starting to slowly get darker outside, and there were no more happy children in the streets. Which annoyed me. For fucks sake, couldn't I even get someone to glare at? I was pissed enough, I don't really think I could feel much worse at the time, and to not have any way of transferring the anger really sucks. It does. So I glared at anything and nothing, and got more annoyed because no one glared back, and that really felt good. If you understand. If you don't, well, that's your problem. It's quite obvious that everyone can't be smart. There aren't many of us.

Iruka-sensei lived in a really cosy area, with trees on every side of the road, and flowers and bees and all that shit. I've never really liked it there, I guess it's too perfect, but Iruka-sensei loves it. And when you think about it, why wouldn't it be? I mean, come on, he's a teacher. Every teacher is, like… neat and stuff. Or, Kakashi-sensei isn't, but he's not really a teacher either. He's more of a guider. At least that's what he likes to tell us.

But seriously, back on track. I don't know why I keep on getting distracted all the time. Maybe it's some sort of sickness or something? You know, some people have learning difficulty, maybe I have concentration difficulty? Anyway. Iruka's little house is usually the nicest and neatest and most idyllic house on the whole street, and as I stood in front of it, ready to knock on his door, I noticed that it wasn't this day. I don't really know why, but it felt darker and gloomier of some sorts. And though I don't really like the perfect world, it doesn't mean that I like the gloomy one either. I knocked anyway, though, 'cause I thought it might be that everything would seem gloomy on such a day, Iruka-sensei's house too. It took my old teacher long time to open, but not long enough for me to knock again. To be honest, Iruka-sensei looked like shit. I won't lie. He really did. One part of my brain told me to "bugger off, can't you see that he's been crying?" but the other one blatantly ignored it. The other part thought: "He might not have had the best day, but your day is way worse, no matter what." So I didn't leave, I just stood there and looked at him, waited for him to let me in.

"Naruto?" he finally said, after a pretty long time "What are you doing here?" He blinked a couple of times, he's eyes were all red, and I understood that he really had been crying, both parts of my brain, but I didn't really care anymore. It's horrible to think that I didn't, but I'm not going to say that I didn't notice, 'cause that would be lying, and I do that as little as possible. But to make it sound a little better for me, I want you to know that Iruka-sensei knew that I felt like shit too, and that he cared as little as me. So there we were, both pretty miserable, both knowing how the other felt, and none of us caring. I asked if I could come in. He told me no. We stood there looking at each other for a couple of seconds, before he said: "Listen, Naruto. I have had a bad day. I can't deal with this now. I'll talk to you later."

I don't really know why, but it really made me angry. It's perfectly understandable, he wanted to be alone, and I should have respected that, but I didn't see that. All I saw was that I felt like shit and he didn't care. It hurt, ladies and gentlemen. It hurt, real bad. And though it later would make me sad, that's not how I took it then. It rarely is. In the moment I see red. And I did. I shouted at him, and some of the things I said were so bad that I don't want to repeat them. At first I didn't go anywhere I hadn't gone before, I said he was stupid, that he didn't care, that he was a bad teacher. But then something just sort of turned around, and all of a sudden there came words out of my mouth that I didn't want to say. I said things about his parents, and his parent's death, and I said some things about Kyuubi part in his parent's death. I said to him that I could see their faces. Most of what I said was wrong. But I didn't care. I just wanted to hurt him. And, oh boy, I did. He didn't even respond. He just stood there and took it, and when I was done screaming he looked at me and said calmly that he didn't want to see me again. Then he walked in to his house again, and that was it.

I went home. I don't remember what I thought and felt when I did. I remember a cat running by me, I remember going the wrong way and having to turn around, and I remember how my orange jumpsuit made this weird sound every time I took a step. I'd never noticed that before. But I can't recall a single feeling, or thought, from those twenty minutes.

I collapsed outside my apartment. I do remember what I felt then, but I'd rather not. I felt something I hadn't felt in a long time, I felt like crying. Seriously, just crying. I promised myself, on a mission with my team, that I wouldn't cry from sorrow, only from happiness, so I didn't, but, God, I was so close. And why wouldn't I be? Say what you want about the things that happened to me that day, but I felt like the whole world was against me. It seemed that way. And then, completely out of nowhere (or, she must have came from somewhere, but come on, it sounded dramatic and nice, so let it be) this old woman was standing in front of me.

"You," she said, "you're the demon, aren't you?" I didn't answer her, 'cause I've learned that it's wisest not to. "I take your silence as a yes." She looked at me, her eyes were old, I could see that, and she'd seen a lot of things in her life. You'll probably laugh at me for this, but right then and there I thought she was sent from somewhere to comfort me. Like, an angel, or a God, or something like that. It's quite obvious that she wasn't. "I want you to know, demon," and she put pressure on the word "demon" in a very nasty way "no one wants you here, you disgusting little thing." Again, she put pressure on one of the words, this time "thing". I don't know why, but her calling me a thing was way worse than her calling me a demon. Thing made me sound… like a dog. You're evil, and we don't like evil things in this village. So just leave." And then she left.

I'd heard it loads of times before, of course, and she didn't use the harshest words, but to make up for it she said it in just the right time. Or wrong time, depends how you look at it. And that was what did it for me. I'd had it. The world obviously didn't want me. Some of the people during the day had even told me so. I thought: "No one would care if I died today. No one." That was really depressing, seriously, more depressing then running out of ramen. Sakura's words echoed in my head. "I hate you, Naruto! Why don't you go kill yourself, so I won't have to look at you again?"

And then something lit inside of me. Why don't I?

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So, what do you think? Good? Bad? Should I continue? Please review, I'll be superhappy. Superhappy xaayp equals new chappie, if you want one. Hurray. I think it's so cute that Naruto cares more about his ramen than anything else. It really is extraordinary cute. And by the way, do you notice how this chapter is on exactly 5000 words? It's done intentionally. Oh, yeah, it is. I rock. XD