Disclaimer: I do not own X-Men Evolution. Pfft, I say! Pfft!
"This is the New Mutants saying: We're better than the Brotherhood!" Roberto declared.
"But we can't even get our chapters out faster," Ray pointed out.
"Ray! Shh!" Sam ordered. "Don't want 'em to notice that! Okay, first set of questions from NebulaBelt: Rahne: Have you ever been worried that you'll get stuck in one form or the other? Or worse, in between forms? Rahne (again): Have you ever been given a bath in wolf form? To all: What's the closest you've come to getting killed?"
"Before we answer…" Amara shouted. "I would like to point out that we are doing this session today from the great outdoors! Questions accessed via laptop!" She pointed to the Dell on Sam's lap.
And it was a lovely day outside for the New Mutants. The grassy field they were in was surrounded by trees and the sun was shining like a stupendous, glowing… thing in the sky. No similes are acceptable… it's the flippin' sun.
Ray made a face. "Stupid teachers. 'Do something constructive with your time'. 'Study more'. 'Go outside more'. 'Stop reprogramming the settings on the blender, Ray, you know how it almost ate Scott last time'. Bla bla bla…"
"I've never thought about it…" Rahne said. "But just for the record: depending on my emotions at the time it can be harder to go from form to form. And yes, Kitty and Kurt have tried giving me a bath in wolf form. I was good about it… until the shaking part."
"Oh no, not another long, 'everybody' one!" Ray whined. "The closest I've ever come to getting killed is, uh, I guess the whole Apocalypse thing. Yeah, that whole situation was pretty much threatening my life." Ray was pulling the bark off of a stick.
"How about the time I already mentioned in a previous chapter when I got sucked into a jet engine?" Sam said.
X23 looked around, obviously enjoying the great outdoors that she probably rarely got a chance to enjoy earlier in her life. "The time I mentioned before when I blew up a ship with me on it,"
"I dove into a volcano one episode. Can't get much closer than that!" Amara mentioned, looking rather proud.
Bobby was waving a stick at something in the bushes, probably a small animal that was about to hurt him. "In the same episode Amara almost got killed in, I almost fell of a cruise ship into icy cold water. It was made icy cold by me. But you know, freezing to death isn't really much of an option for me…"
"When I was a dog, I ate a battery!" Rahne stated from where she was sitting in a patch of particularly soft grass.
"Why'd you eat a battery?" Jubilee asked her. Jubilee was seated on a small boulder.
"When I become a dog, it's amazing… it's like… almost everything on the ground makes me hungry…"
Jubilee rolled her eyes and continued talking. "The time I mentioned in a previous chapter where I tried to make chicken-flavored instant Ramen with my fireworks. It… didn't work. I don't mean it just 'didn't work'… I mean it really, really, really didn't work."
"The closest I've ever come to death was when I did the thing with trapping the others in the high level Danger Room…" Jamie trailed off. "That almost killed me…"
Roberto's brain gears clicked. "The Apocalypse thing was pretty dangerous… I agree with Ray. But Ray's still ugly."
"And Roberto's' still foreign… and ugly," Ray replied.
"Please don't fight, not now! We're so behind!" Sam complained. "Okay, next question…"
Ray raised his voice to sound like a girl's. "Oh, Sam! You're such a pacifist! That's hot! Have my babies!"
"Ignoring that," Sam rolled his eyes. "Rogue21493's e-mail reads as follows: KEEP BOBBY TIED UP! LOL Everyone: What's the one place on this earth you want to visit before you die? Jamie: I'll make you some peanut butter fuge brownies if you hit Bobby, just for fun. LOL (sends brownies to Jamie) X: Do you like rock or country better? Or do you just like both?Later! (runs off to annoy the brotherhood ;) hehe)" Sam put his hand to his chin. "I would love to go to the Hawaiian islands one day… relaxing and tropical…"
Amara nodded. "That's nice, Sam. But me personally, I want to go Las Vegas! EVERYONE wants to go there!"
"Amara's right," Jubilee smiled. "Las Vegas seems like tons of fun. Of course, more fun when we're of age to do the fun stuff!"
"I'd like to explore America some more…" Roberto said.
"I've never been to New York City…" X23 commented. "It would be fun to go there. Everyone talks about it…"
"I want to go to the top of Mount Everest! It'll be easier for me!" Bobby poked whatever was under the bush with the stick. Something growled.
"Tokyo, definitely!" Rahne said. "Just because,"
"I dunno… what Amara and Jubes said about Las Vegas sounds like fun…" Ray said.
"Well, we wouldn't pay for your bus fare, Ray," Amara crossed her arms. "Which means you're pretty much screwed, considering your work ethic…"
"And when we got there, I wouldn't hold your hair the next day when you're puking in a toilet after maybe one beer! But thanks for letting me know!" Ray smiled.
"Anytime!" Amara smiled back.
Jamie bit his lip in thought for a minute, then picked up a rock, walked over to Bobby, and hit him over the head with it.
"OW! You little ass-" Bobby started running after Jamie, holding his head. Jamie laughed and made multiples for Bobby to chase. Every copy of Jamie had a brownie with them.
"Uh… I haven't listened to enough music so I can't fairly say. I like Papa Roach…" X23 thought about it.
"X, how much have you listened to?" Ray asked her.
"Um… one song by Papa Roach… and the public radio…"
"That's what I thought,"
"Next question's from TWbasketcase. Hi guys! Fun column you got here. I got some questions for you: 1) Who do you think would win in a fight between X-23 and Wolverine? 2) Who would win between Iceman and Havok? 3) If you could secretly take out one person from the main team so that you could steal their spot as an X-Man, who would it be? Thank you! Glad you're back, Bobby!"
X23 cocked her head to one side. "Glad he's back? Why?"
"Hey!" Bobby commented. He had a bump on his head, a stolen brownie and had gotten back to poking whatever poor creature he was poking before. "TW likes me. So there! Thank you, TW! It's nice to know SOMEBODY respects me around here!" Bobby mumbled something about being practically an X-Man.
Ray looked at X23. "Well, X is just as strong as Logan, but smaller and smarter. The only thing she's got going against her is her common sense being blinded by hatred and fury. I'd have to vote X."
"Me, too!" Bobby agreed.
"Actually, I was beating him for a while in that one fight…" X23 mentioned. "But then I got weak and started to lose…"
"You mean you got emotional, right?" Amara corrected.
"…Yeah. I got weak. That's what I said."
"…Okay. Whatever. Next question. Bobby or Havok? Hmm. Depends on how Bobby used his power, I guess. Havok's a lot cooler than his brother…"
"Are you kidding? I would totally win!" Bobby said. Meanwhile, poke, poke, poke.
Amara continued. "Buuuut, unfortunately I would have to say Bobby. For all of Bobby's stupid shit-"
"Language!" Ray scolded Amara the same way he had been scolded by her before.
"- He seems to at least have pretty good control. He IS almost an X-Man."
"Damn straight," Bobby commented. "Who would I eliminate from that group so I could finally be in the spot I so greatly deserve? Scott, of course. It's time they made way for a new leader."
"I would also eliminate Scott just because I hate Scott," Ray commented.
"I dislike Jean," X23 said. "If I had to, it would be her. But I'm not really into the idea of becoming an X-Man quite yet."
"Me, neither," Rahne agreed. "I would take out Kurt or Kitty. They're only a year or a couple years older than us. It barely matters."
"Yeah, same!" Amara agreed.
"What about Rogue?" Jubilee asked. "She doesn't always act like much of a team player. I'll take her place!"
"Rogue is just introverted. Rahne's point made most sense." Roberto responded.
Sam looked around awkwardly. "I think the X-Men are the fine the way they are. And besides, I have little control. So I can't really fairly say I'd like to replace anyone." He clicked the mouse. "Next set of questions are from Jay Huddson AKA Aqua. Well one of the questions is like 'how do you feel when all the OCs are always getting paired up with the X-men?' just letting you know there is a story where 4 OCs get paired up with the New Recurits (the sotry is called 'X angels' done by my friend Nara Hoshi a.k.a. Calliope Allerdyce) well I wanted to know 1)how do you feel about these characters and (if you are) how do you feel about the pairings? and for funn 2)why in the CRUD does Tabby keep coming out of no where?"
"OC pairings are okay with us as long as they're not Mary-Sues or Gary-Stus," Amara answered. "And if I get paired with an OC, he better know how to treat me."
Sam shrugged. "But the author of this fic hasn't read the story or even seen the OCs' descriptions, so we can't really say how we feel about your specific pairings. We'll try to remember to go check it out, though. Remind us next chapter to give you more details on our feelings."
"Because I can," Tabitha sat atop a boulder filing her nails. "Next questions, Sammy boy! Cannonball it!"
Sam nodded eagerly. "Yes, ma'am! From the Chronokinetic: Now for the questions: If you could swap powers with whoever you wanted, who and why would you change with? Why do you guys pick on Jaime? He has THE most useful off-battle power ever, in the comics he's an attourney and plays lots of team sports at the Olympics (not sure about the Olympic part, but it's something big). Sam, did you know that almost all your immediate family has power?" Sam paused. "Uh, we already discussed your question early on in Chapter 8!" He smiled. "Sorry, but you'll have to check out our answers there!"
"HA! See? There's no valid reason for you to continue picking on me!" Jamie protested loudly, getting so worked up his voice was cracking a bit. "I'm a cool adult!"
"Silly Jamie, attorneys aren't cool!" Bobby scolded, then turning his attention back yet again to the bush. "Come on, come on, wake up, whatever you are! I want to take a picture of you as proof that we explored our surroundings to Ororo!"
"Yes, I unfortunately did," was Sam's cold reply. "Sheesh. Once EVERYONE'S a mutant, being Cannonball isn't SPECIAL anymore, huh?! Sheesh. Okay, next, Sean Malloy-1. Sean asks: Did you know that there were 3 movies made of the X-Men? What do you think the qickest way for a human to knock out Magneto would be?"
"Just three? Pfft. Evan took more home videos than that!" Rahne said.
Yeah!" Ray agreed. "Xavier had him make a bunch of movies of us and the X-Men, to make us feel like a family or some sort of stupid crap like that."
"I say we don't knock him out, I say we knock his stupid helmet off, then we shoot him in the head!" Jubilee gave a short, evil giggle.
Meanwhile, Bobby continued poking. "Man, Jubes… did you take your medication today- oh, wait! I think I finally woke up whatever animal is behind the bush!" He leaned forward. "Cool, maybe it's a badger or- OH MY GOD, HOLY SHIT!" Sabretooth jumped out from behind the bush and attacked Bobby claws-first. "AAAAAGH! GET HIM OFF! AAGH!"
"You have only yourself to blame, Bobby!" Sam called out to him as he kept his hands on the laptop.
"Wait, let me just ask him something!" Rahne turned half wolf-form just in case and ran over to where Sabretooth had Bobby pinned on the ground and was making him bleed in strange ways. She tapped on Sabretooth's shoulder. X23 walked over, too.
"Yeah, what?!" He growled at her.
"Why are you attacking Bobby?" Rahne cocked her head to one side.
"He poked me with a stick! A BUNCHA TIMES!"
Rahne nodded and looked at X23.
"Sounds fair to me…" X23 shrugged, then turned to Sabretooth. "Carry on. Oh, but you owe me a match after this!"
"Fine, whatever!" The man-predator snarled.
"Okay, next e-mail is from giftedgirl10592. OMG! I love this...I can ask you guys questions? That is so cool (now if there were only one with ALL the characters, not just the New X-Men...hint hint). Anyways here are my questions... 1. Why does everyone think that Sam is gay? I happen to think he is very cute. Cuter than Scott anyways who needs a serious personality check. One word for him...BORING! 2. Roberto...how do you keep your confidence up like you do? I have total lack of self-esteem and I idolize your ability to be so confident all the time. 3. Where is Tabby? I want to ask her how she can be such a bad-ass girl...it's amazing. 4. I read CosmicPheonix's question about Mary Sues, and I just want to ask why you can't give them a chance? My only fic about X-Men Evo is apparently "Mary Sue" territory. I think that it is pretty good because...well you would have to read it, but my point is, I have incorporated all the characters from X-Men Evo...including you Rahne (I wrote a chapter that you pretty much starred in). What is so wrong with that?"
"We think it's cool!" Amara said. "But we get what you're hint-hinting at. We could've sworn someone else said they were going to do one with the X-Men… ah well. Oh, and avatarjk137's got one for The Brotherhood."
"I'm not GAY!" Sam shouted. "I like girls! Maybe it's my hair! I don't know!"
"Scott's very whitebread-ish," Ray agreed.
"Yeah," Jubilee chimed in. "Scott needs a serious personality check – they need to check to see if he has one!"
Roberto smiled. "I don't know… maybe it just comes more naturally for some people than others. Just tell yourself, 'I'm a winner, NOT a wiener!'"
"I'm right here!" Tabitha struck a pose on the boulder she was standing on. "Thanks, yeah, I'm pretty damn bad-ass… it's sorta like women's intuition or instinct or something! Don't worry, I'm sure you're plenty bad-ass if you recognized my superior bad-ass-ness that's better than Scooter's!"
Ray grinned. "Anything's better than Scooter's… um… anything!"
Sam, eager to move past any awkward moment of making fun of Scott, opened up a new e-mail and fanned the gnats out of his face. "Uh, next is from Firecracker704. A comment for X-23 and a question for Jubilee: X, you have great taste in reading! And Jubilee, who said girls couldn't like "boy stuff"? And for all... WHO LIKES THE BEATLES?!? I'm still hyperactive and Sam's still extremely cute. ;-) Uh, thanks!"
"Thanks!" X23 smiled a way-too-toothy smile (maybe she should practice in the mirror a bit).
"Uh! I was just trying to help her out!" Jubilee pouted.
"I like The Beatles!" Ray shouted.
"Me, too!" X23 agreed.
"Who DOESN'T like The Beatles?!" Amara shouted in a 'duh' kind of way.
"I don't!" Sabretooth said as he tore into Bobby's stomach. "I'm a Stones fan!"
"Whatever. Sam, we only have one more set of questions!"
"Jacksfangurl01 asks: Bobby: Sometimes, I can't understand what you're trying to say. Why doesn't anyone try to translate for you? All Pranskters within the room: Instead of warm water, can you stick Wolverine's hand in warm lemonade? I just want to see his reaction and if you guys have the bll$ to do it."
"Bobby's head was wrapped in bandages last chapter," Amara answered for Bobby, whose screams of distress and pain from Sabretooth's attack were fading. "We didn't translate for him because we didn't feel like it. But I'm sure if read carefully you could get an idea of what he was saying."
"Fine!" Ray convulsed. "I'll get Bobby after he's done getting peeled like an orange and we'll DO IT!"
"Then you'll get peeled like an orange!" Tabitha giggled. "Heh heh heh. Oranges. Means you're a fruit, get it?"
"Does he have to be sleeping?" Rahne asked.
"Forget sleeping, I want to do it to him when he's WIDE AWAKE!" Ray yelled.
"I'll just, um, watch," Jamie mentioned.
"WAIT!" Ray shouted once more. "We're not done for the day! We have one more e-mail!"
"Right!" Sam replied. "This time it's through PM! From XsilverXserenade2. Dear new mutants, how can it become that in the fanfic Bobby is a asshole to Jamie but in the TV-show he seems pretty nice to our cute little Jamie"
"I… have no idea!" Ray looked around. "Where's Bobby?"
"Maybe Sabretooth took him to feed him to his pack," Rahne suggested.
"As for the answer, sorry, we don't know. Maybe Bobby's bipolar." Amara said. "Remember people, only three questions per review and send in your questions via review!"
"And now it's time for The Word!" Ray stated enthusiastically.
"Wrong show, Ray!" Jubilee responded.
"Oh. Clip of the Week! Or 'Your Moment of Zen'!"
"Wrong SHOW, Ray!" Frustration was coming to Jubilee and was about to mean Ray's pain.
"IT'S TIME FOR 'There I Said It'!"
"YES, YOU DID! NOW SHUT UP!"