Well, it's been about a year. How is everyone?

Sometimes, you want to give up. Sometimes, you tell yourself yep, I'm done with Fanfiction.

And then you check your old email and find the most ridiculous reviews. I can't believe I'm at 95 favorites and 344 reviews; the 16th most favorited Warriors story on Fanfiction. This is insanity. You guys are insane. It's great, I love it, don't change!

This chapter is un-officially named "Plot Development." You're welcome.

It was a good day in the Dark Forest.

The sun wasn't shining. The moon wasn't shining either. Actually, nothing was shining. It was the Place of No Stars, after all. There were no birds. No mice. No squirrels. Not even frogs. Just dark, shadowy trees in dark, shadowy fog.

Cats roamed around this deserted wasteland of an afterlife, bumping blindly into the dark, shadowy trees because there was no source of light. They thought evil thoughts. They practiced their evil laughs. They played Star Wars: Angry Birds on their new Androids to pass the time.

Tigerstar himself was having an amazing time. He woke up that morning (night? day?), stretched, and walked around for a bit, listening to the distant, whispering ghosts of dead cats who committed crimes so horrible they were banished to the forest literally saturated with evil.

He padded around cheerfully. He purred, thinking of his new Android. He laughed, thinking of foolish Starclan and their Zunes.

Speaking of his new Android…

Hey Hey!
You! You!
I don't like your girlfriend.
No w-

"Hello?" He grumbled. I should probably change that ringtone.

"Greetings, Tigerstar."

He frowned. "Who is this?"

"An ally."

"I meant your name." Tigerstar growled. "Who is this? How did you get this number?"

"All will be explained in due time, but first… I have a proposition for you. One that could lead to the destruction of all clans."

"…go on."

"One that could lead to the downfall of a nemesis of yours… Firestar, I presume?"

Tigerstar's eyes gleamed. "Yes," he hissed menacingly. "I do believe I am interested."

"Excellent." The voice on the phone laughed evilly.

Tigerstar joined in. They laughed together, joined in their mutual malevolence and generally horrible personalities.

It was a good day in the Dark Forest.

Meanwhile, thousands of miles away…

The hunter is silent.

She waits, claws slowly digging into the earth. Her ears are perked, listening. She is still, creeping as slowly as the sun across the sky. Her fangs are bare and gleaming in the hot, mid-day sun.

The prey is stupid.

It is a mouse, small and fragile, a brown dab of fur in the tall forest with its bed of deep green grass. The small woodland creature nibbles innocently, naively, stupidly, on the dark seed of a flower, completely oblivious to the hellish beast that lurks in the nearby bush.

The prey is named Carl.

Carl McMousenheimer is a middle-aged woodmouse with an overworked mouse-wife and twenty-two and a half (don't ask) mice-children at home. What a terrible day it's been, Carl thinks to himself as he chews thoughtfully on his seed. I get fired from my mouse-job and my house-wife threatens to divorce me. She gave birth AGAIN and now I definitely won't remember any of my mice-children's names.

He gives a little mouse-sigh. Maybe I should just name them all Carl.

The hunter is impatient.

She pads forward delicately, every white hair on her pelt staying perfectly still. She flexes her muscles and tenses, ready to jump, pounce, and kill-

Baby, baby, baby oooh!

Like baby, baby, baby, nooo!

Like baby, baby, baby-

"Cedarheart!" Snowpaw cried, sitting up on her haunches as she watches the mouse scurry away.

"Sorry! Sorry, sorry!" Cedarheart replied, fumbling with his phone.

"Seriously? This is the third time today you've scared off my prey! Just turn your text-messaging tone on silent! What kind of mentor are you!?"

He rolled his eyes dismissively. "All that's important is that you knew you could've caught it, right?"

"Yeah, but I'm-"

Baby, baby, baby oooh!

Like baby-

"CEDARHEART! Are you SERIOUS? You have problems, okay? I like my phone but this is insane!" Snowpaw frowned. "Are you even listening to me?"

"What?" Cedarheart meowed absently as he texted rapidly on his phone.

Snowpaw growled, and swiped the phone out of his paws.

"Hey!" He yelped as the phone fell to the grass. "Stop that!" He pounced, trying to snatch up the phone before Snowpaw could see the screen…

But it was too late.

She stared at her mentor. "Y-you're texting… you're texting him?!"

"Shh!" He hissed, slapping a paw over the apprentice's mouth. "Be quiet. You don't know who could be listening." Cedarheart glanced around suspiciously. The author cursed, and hid behind a tree.

"I shouldn't be quiet!" She growled. "This is treason! Blackstar would kill you if he found out!"

"Look, Snowpaw. Let me explain." He meowed soothingly, placing a paw on her shoulder. "Do you remember the last gathering? When Blackstar was prank-called in front of all the clans?"

She groaned. "That was so humiliating. Yes, I remember. I can't believe none of us knew about prank-calling until then."

"Exactly. "His yellow eyes gleamed. "Listen. Blackstar's old. He's getting out of touch. He doesn't know about these phones. How can we respect a leader who so easily humiliates us?"

He lowered his voice til it was a quiet mew. "There are… others, who believe this too." Cedarheart meowed seriously. "We have decided to work together to topple the rule of all our technologically-challenged leaders. They refused to allow us to change, to adapt. They keep us using flip-phones while iPhones are abundant. Those tyrants! How dare they?" He growled.

"…So let me get this straight. You are planning to break the warrior code and betray our leader because he refuses to get is iPhones?" Snowpaw stared at her mentor incredulously. "That's the most mouse-brained thing I've ever heard."

He blinked. "If you join us, you get to prank-call Blackstar."

"…Seriously?"

"Yeah."

"…I'm in."

Meanwhile, approximately one mile away…

This is Blackstar. Leave a message. …Okay, I made the voicemail box, now what do I do? I what? I have to end the message? Alright, I see- BEEP.

You have 86 new messages.

"You're a loser!" BEEP.

"You're just an elder growing old over and over. Die already!" BEEP.

"You're… uh, you're STUPID. Yeah. Take that, BLACKSTAR." BEEP.

"Why don't you leave the clan, rouge?! You only became leader because of Tigerstar anyway!" BEEP.

Exit mailbox?

"Yes, exit mailbox, great Starclan." Blackstar groaned, staring down at his flip-phone. 86 messages?! He thought, shaking his head in shock. "This is crazy. This is phone-warfare." He growled. The prank calls… they don't stop coming. They are endless. And, worst of all, they are getting smarter. They are no longer empty jokes. They are targeted towards Blackstar himself.

And he is powerless against them.

Blackstar sighed. Only one option left. With great reluctance, Blackstar pulled out his phone again, typing delicately with a single, extended claw.

To: Firestar; Onestar; Leopardstar;

Message: We need to talk.

Send message?

Message sent.

Meanwhile, back at… wait, where am I? I can't see a thing; why is it so dark? …Hello? Anyone? Help me!

"Greetings, my fellow traitors." Tigerstar roared from a tree branch. "I am glad all of you came. I have called this meeting for a great purpose… one that could lead to the destruction of our enemies."

"Yes…" Hissed one cat, his claws extending threatening.

"Finally…" a tom growled menacingly.

"Who's talking?" Another cat yelped, his head whipping around. "Who's here?"

"Shut up, Hawkfrost." The first cat rolled his eyes. "Tigerstar's talking. You get used to the darkness eventually."

"Yessss…." The second cat purred. "Let the darkness settle in your soul. Let it fill your heart and infect your mind…"

"Maggottail, you shut up too. You are trying way too hard. Also, who the heck named you Maggottail?"

Maggottail stiffened. "My beautiful mother named me!" He screeched, his foul breath leaking everywhere. Hawkfrost fainted from the stench. "You have a problem with my mother?!"

"Silence!" Tigerstar howled. "Listen to me, you dungbrains! I have received an evil proposition from an evil ally of ours in the Living World… He has offered us another opportunity to ridicule and humiliate our enemies, and destroy the clans once and for all. Now… who is with me?"

"Destruction, you say?" Maggottail growled.

"Humiliation, you say?" Thisleclaw purred.

"Evil, you say?" Clawface meowed reverently.

"Yes. A plan so horrifying that the great 'warrior' Firestar will have no choice but bow to our demands."

The evil cats rose to their feet (except Hawkfrost, who was still out cold).

They laughed together, evilly. It was a marvelous evil laugh. Their eyes gleamed with evil thoughts. They grinned at each other, feeling distinctly eviler today than before. They murmured lowly, discussing evil plots and generally having an evil time.

Tigerstar smiled.

It was a good day in the Dark Forest.