Neon Genesis Evangelion

The More Things Change

Chapter 1: Time Heals All Wounds

By the Red Horseman

Pre-read by Weltall Elite

- - - - - - - - -

March 2026, United States of America

"Get that bastard!"

"Someone quickly call an ambulance!"

"Look at all that blood!"

"You think she'll make it?"

"I'm alive?"

That was all Asuka could say as she slowly opened her eyes and tried to sit up. Groaning, she gave up on that endeavor when her body refused to move. Her mood didn't improve when she finally got around to surveying her surroundings. She was in the last place she ever wanted to be in, the hospital. However, she realized that she hadn't really had a choice in the matter. Still now that she was awake and coherent, she was going to correct it. Yet, her body again failed her when she tried throwing off her covers.

"You really shouldn't be moving, Miss Soryu."

The redhead whipped her head around, her blue eyes narrowing at the intruder's voice. She weakly smiled at her overreaction at recognizing one of the men entering her room. Of course, the machines would've alerted the nurses' station to any change in her condition. Still the sudden appearance of her doctor was perplexing, especially since she had just woken. Which meant that he'd been making his rounds and been close by when he had been alerted. However, none of that mattered to the young woman.

What concerned her was the other person that had followed the doctor into the room. He was maybe five years older, athletic, and average in appearance. The major negative was the black and silver uniform of a police officer. The man noticed her inquisitive stare and gave her a small smile, which didn't reassure Asuka. Seeing her reaction, the officer slowly strode to her bedside and sat in a nearby chair.

"I'm Detective Peter Frager." He pulled out his credentials and allowed her to look at them. "I want to ask you some questions concerning the events that occurred three days ago, Miss Soryu?" he asked in a soothing voice.

Asuka's eyes widened at that. "It's been three days?"

"That is correct. Now it would be very helpful if you could tell me what happened." He leaned forward and stared into her eyes. "You do remember what happened?"

"Well, I had gone to the club 'Paradigm' to try and relax," she began.

Her tale started out slowly as she told him about how she'd overheard one of her coworkers recommending the club. She spoke of how she'd decided to try it after an extremely difficult day. Asuka explained that she had turned down a few offers to dance, wanting only to be alone. Her voice wavered when she remembered the events after she had exited the women's restroom. The tight grip on her upper arm, the loud drunken voice of the man holding her commanding her to be quiet were all quite clear as was her reaction.

"I resisted and punched him, which allowed me to break free. Yet as I ran back into the main room I felt something impact my shoulder and then… my lower back." Asuka looked up at the doctor, who nodded solemnly.

"You were shot three times with a small caliber pistol," the physician confirmed. "One shot broke your left collarbone hence the cast. The second round barely missed your left kidney. The third shot fractured the upper region of your pelvic bone." Asuka's doctor went silent at the horror on his patient's face. "Sorry, I thought you would want to know…"

"Who was he?" Asuka quietly asked.

"Steven Edwards, a contractor for a local business conglomerate. His wife, who you happen to look similar to, had recently left him. From his confession, he first noticed you about three months ago in a market." Detective Frager glanced down at his notes. "He didn't do anything until he saw you again, and just after he had received a letter from his ex-wife's lawyer. It was then that he started following you and taking pictures. We also learned he lost his job the same day he assaulted you."

"What's going to happen?" Asuka interrupted.

"He's being held without bail on the charges of attempted kidnapping, attempted rape, and attempted murder." He glanced at the young woman, but she wasn't making eye contact. "If everything goes smoothly the trial could be in…"

"Please, leave me alone."

"Miss Soryu?"

"I just want to be alone for the moment, okay. You've thrown a lot of information at me and I need to come to terms with it." She briefly looked up. "We'll be in contact once I'm released, so please just leave."

"Of course, Miss Soryu," the doctor acquiesced, lightly touching the officer's shoulder. "By the way, you have a visitor…"

"I don't want to see anyone," she tersely told the two.

"I think you should, they've waited patiently for you to wake."

"Fine."

Asuka turned on her uninjured side and stared at the far wall, not bothering to watch the two men exit. She tried to keep her breathing even and slow when she heard the door open again and footsteps approach her bed. The sound of a moving chair sent her heart start racing and her to search her memory. She knew no one that would bother to visit her, even if they knew about her hospitalization. Therefore, with that thought she continued to ignore the other person despite the faint twinge of curiosity. Soon her anger supplanted her curiosity, as the stranger remained silent. Finally, not being able to take the silence any longer, she clenched her fist and prepared to chew out her visitor, but stopped at hearing a chuckle.

"I know you're not asleep, Asuka," a man softly told her. "Why don't you stop pretending to be something you're not?"

The redhead felt her body start to tremble while the man spoke to her in Japanese. Slowly, with her heart in her throat, she rolled to face where her visitor sat. He had turned the chair around and straddled it, his dark blue eyes observing her. Neither spoke as they studied one another, waiting for the other to speak first. Asuka found her voice after several moments and pre-empted the man.

"What are you doing here, Shinji?" she painfully whispered.

"I've asked myself that many times," he said quietly. "The easiest and least painful answer is because you listed me as your emergency contact and the doctors wouldn't accept 'no.'"

The former Evangelion pilot studied his former roommate and hoped that she wouldn't ask any more questions. It hurt to be in the same room as her, but he had an obligation to be there. If she had listed him as a contact, the least he could do was be there for her. Still he wondered why she had even listed him given their separation years ago. He was under no delusions that it was anything but a mistake on her part because she couldn't think of anyone else.

"I see," she murmured, her eyes closed again.

She felt foolish for saying that but she didn't know what to say to him, she never had. Vicissitudes had filled her years in Tokyo-3 along with many silent awkward moments. The memories of her verbal sparring with the man sitting next to her were still fresh. So were all her defeats against the Angels and Mass Produced Evangelions. Her departure from that cursed land had been an act of desperation. A departure she'd constantly questioned and tried to disremember over the years.

Cracking her eyelids, she glanced at the man and started at seeing him staring back with a small smile. She tried to ignore the emotional ache in her, which continued to increase in strength. Years ago, she'd found him cute, and time had been very kind to him. The boy was now a man with all the gentle curves replaced with hard lines. She almost smiled, thinking that despite the physical changes he was the same, but remembered what he had said earlier. He had found strength to be direct with people. As she lay there, Asuka realized that he hadn't said anything not because he was scared but because he was waiting for her.

"How have you been, Shinji?" she finally asked.

"Okay, I guess. Nothing exceptional has happened in my life since Third Impact," he answered candidly. "How about you?"

"The same as you, though-" She gestured around the room. "-I have been better."

"That's nice." He quickly realized his mistake and blurted. "It's not nice that you've been shot! I meant to say… that it's nice that your life has been…"

"It's okay, Shinji. I know what you meant." She turned her head and stared at him. "Do you know how much longer I'm supposed to be here?"

"A week or so. Maybe." he told her.

Asuka nodded and pretended not to worry about what he hadn't also said, but it didn't work. Over the last eight years, she had barely thought of everyone she had left behind. Her excuse always being that it was better that way because it saved her pain. It had worked as she established herself in her field and she thought she had gotten over her past. Yet, the ache in her heart at seeing Shinji again told her that assumption was false, that she wasn't over her past. With a tight dry throat, she asked an important question.

"And then you'll leave?"

"Wasn't that you wanted when you left Japan?"

- - - -

"What do you mean it's been pled?"

Peter Frager mentally sighed, and tried to organize his thoughts despite the redhead's angry outburst. He had thought that she would be as she had been in the hospital, quiet and composed. That wish had lasted only about two minutes into his briefing of the young woman. It hadn't come as a complete surprise to him when the defendant's lawyer had sent in a plea agreement. Telling Asuka that it was a normal procedure in the court system wasn't going to be easy yet as he prepared to speak her companion beat him.

"It's an everyday occurrence, Asuka," Shinji told her. "The defense lawyer knows his client is guilty of all the charges. He also knows the sentences for the charges. So he weighed the odds and decided that reaching a plea agreement was the best."

"But…"

"It also helps you," he continued. "You don't have to relive that night on the witness stand. Or have your character attacked in anyway by the lawyers."

"I know that, Shinji. It's just…"

"He won't be out for at least fifteen years, Miss Soryu," Frager interrupted quietly. "I know it's not what you wanted to hear, but he won't remember you when he gets out."

"Fine," Asuka finally relented.

"If you'd just sign here acknowledging the plea agreement you can be on your way."

Asuka took the offered pen, slid the papers closer, and signed where the sergeant indicated. After half-a-dozen signatures, she set the pen down then stood up. Ignoring the pain of her still healing body, she quickly picked up her light jacket and strode out the door. Logically, she had known such a thing had been likely while emotionally she had wanted to go to court. To see the bastard's face when he received his sentence and knowing it was her testimony that had sealed his fate. Yet, a part of her was relieved that she wasn't going to have to testify. It was as Shinji had said, she wouldn't have to relive the night except for her nightmares.

"Let's go get lunch."

Those simple words took her mind off penal system and put it on another predicament. The past three weeks had flown by quickly yet she couldn't remember a single important thing. Shinji had been by her side just as he had been after Instrumentality, but she couldn't recall their conversations. He hadn't been cold, more like distant, while they had talked. Her steps faltered when she finally recognized that he had been protecting himself. He had been keeping himself detached from her, ensuring that he'd stay emotionally isolated from her and she had been doing the same.

"No," she whispered, shaking her head.

"Asuka." He reached out for her, but she backed away.

"Let's stop playing games, Shinji," she told him. "Lunch isn't going to make a difference or lessen any pain. Thank you for being by my side these last weeks, but leave."

He tried reaching out but she pushed him away. "Asuka, I'm hurting too!"

"I know!"

- - - -

Brown eyes shot open and darted around the room while their owner listened for what had awoken her. Something had disturbed her sleep yet all she could notice was the gentle sound of rain. Groaning, she threw off her bed coverings and stood up while hoping she hadn't disturbed her partner. She reached for a robe but something deep inside told her that she needed to get dressed. Glancing over her shoulder at her bed and listening to the rain, she debated with herself before finally pulling on sweatpants and a sweatshirt.

"Don't forget to take an umbrella."

"Sorry for waking you."

"It's no problem. Just take an umbrella as I said. You don't want to get sick again, Misato."

Smiling to herself, the former Operations Director of NERV picked up an umbrella from beside the door and stepped outside. She stood on her front porch and waited either for a flash of lightning or for her eyes to adjust to the darkness. Minutes later, she stepped from beneath cover and into the night, her feet moving of their own accord. She'd awoken in the middle of the night many times in her life.

Normally, it was either dreams of the past or dread of the future. There had been times when she had found one of the Children sitting in darkness. Those times had been difficult because she had never known how to comfort them. It was also at those times that she realized that Asuka and Shinji besides growing up were growing closer to each other. She stopped and glared up at the churning clouds with all of her anger as she recognized that it was the same feeling. Dashing back to her house, she grabbed her purse and car keys off the coffee table and darted to her vehicle.

"How could I be so stupid?" she muttered as the engine screamed.

It'd been close to a month since she'd talked to Shinji and knew that was what had woken her. He had changed a lot since the times of the Angels, growing stronger mentally and physically. Yet, at her periodic dinner dates with the young man, she'd caught traces of darkness surrounding him. She knew that he knew what happened when someone tried to be an island. Asuka had taught him that and much more during her stay, like how to run away completely. Minutes later, countryside turned to dimly lit cityscape as her mind came up with various scenarios.

Tires squealed when she stood on the brakes, angrily shaking her head. It was wrong of her to think that Shinji would do something so stupid. She rested her head against the steering wheel and employed logic. Misato couldn't help but grin crookedly at the sign her headlights were currently illuminating. Slowly taking the turn, she proceeded at a slower pace despite her need to reassure herself that Shinji was okay. Minutes later, she pulled into a parking space and exited her car, making sure to grab her umbrella before locking the door.

What he might be doing in the cemetery at such a time was beyond her. But as she walked among the obsidian markers, her gut told her that she would find him here. In the dark without any light, it was easy to get lost on the plain and that's what happened. She sighed when she finally found the right row and started walking toward a certain marker. From the times she'd accompanied Shinji, she knew how far she would have to walk before reaching Yui's marker. Her instinct proved correct when she stumbled over something, more specifically someone, lying between the rows. Digging in her purse, she pulled out a lighter and ignited it while protecting the flame with a hand.

"Shinji! What the hell are you doing here?" she exclaimed, panicked yet also relieved.

The soaking wet young man gazed up at her. "I saw her."

"Who? Your mother." Misato saw him shake his head.

"No. Asuka."

- - - -

"I take back what I said about you being smart, Asuka."

The redhead put down her silverware and gazed at Angela Lewis, the only person she'd label as a friend, even if she was ten years older. The blonde was staring at her with a look she knew well since she herself had used it many times. A gaze which conveyed pity and yet at the same time smugness. Still it wasn't something Asuka hadn't been expecting since beginning her tale.

Two weeks had passed since Shinji had left and she had returned to work. During that time, she had caught up on her research and generally avoided questions about what had happened to her. The press had run a small clip at the back of the local paper the day after she had signed the agreement, but nothing else had happened. The silence should've warned her that something was going to happen. Her premonition had come true at receiving Angela's lunch invitation. It'd started with a simple question, and turned into her telling almost everything. Now she knew that she should've kept her mouth shut.

"How am I stupid, Angela?" she asked with dread.

"Just that you had Shinji within your grasp and you let him go."

"You don't understand," Asuka whispered. "Eight years ago, I left Japan in not the nicest of ways. I didn't verbally tell everyone that I never wanted to have contact with them ever again, but they picked up on it."

"And now you regret it?" the scientist asked.

Asuka remained silent.

"I thought so. It's tearing you to pieces seeing him come and go, and knowing you could've stopped it." Angela leaned close to her friend. "And it's probably hurting him too."

"It can't work out between us. There are so many things that I did in the past." Asuka explained.

"The past doesn't matter to him, or are you that dense? No one focused on the past would fly so far to stay by the side of a person he doesn't have some feelings for." She reached out and lifted Asuka's chin. "You say that it couldn't work out between the two of you, but did you seriously try?"

Asuka tried to look away but found that she couldn't no matter what she did. It was like years ago when Misato would sit her down for a private lecture. She knew that it wasn't a question of if she was going to answer the question but a matter of when. Angela's green eyes bored into her own and she squirmed in her seat still fighting. Finally, after several tense moments she minutely nodded her head.

"I did try," she quietly answered.

This surprised the blonde. "Then what happened?"

"I got scared."

"And you're too stubborn to have ever admitted it before," the older scientist said.

"You don't have to keep rubbing it in," Asuka grumbled. "I know I screwed up and I don't need you to tell me that."

Angela nodded. "So what are you going to do now?"

"I don't know."

"Like that was unexpected." She pushed her plate away and rested her chin on a palm while staring through Asuka. It was a couple of minutes later when she roused herself and grinned at the younger woman. "Why don't you take a vacation and visit him?"

"I can't do that!" Asuka protested.

"And why not? In the five years I've known you, you've never taken a vacation. I'm not saying that you should jump into bed with him, though that wouldn't be such a bad idea."

"Angela!"

"Just joking," she apologized. "I'm just saying take a few days off and visit him. Take the time to patch things up so you can be friends again."

Asuka shook her head. "Then what? We're half a world apart."

"You're young and have your whole future ahead of you. Nothing says you have to stay in the United States your entire life."

"I can't."

- - - -

June 2026, Tokyo-3

"I can't believe I'm doing this."

Asuka leaned her forehead against the steering wheel and closed her eyes. Almost three months had passed since her conversation about taking a vacation to visit Shinji. She'd spent a week going over the pros and cons of such an action before finally reaching a decision. Instead of wasting more time, she had walked into her supervisor's office and asked for time off. That same night, she'd bought her plane ticket and made the other necessary arrangements.

However, once she had been in the air for an hour her apprehension had returned almost threefold. In her mind, she had gone over everything that could go wrong when she met everyone again. It embarrassed her how much she had chided Shinji for dwelling on how others thought of him when she was the same. Another two hours had passed before she had decided not to worry and let events happen. If everyone, except for Shinji, held a grudge against her there was nothing she could do. By that time, she had worn herself out from worry and fallen asleep, only waking ten minutes before landing.

By the time she got onto the expressway, the sun was just breaking the horizon. She could've taken the high-speed rail system or even a taxi, but wanted to drive. Her reasoning being that it would allow her to reacquaint herself with Tokyo-3. All of that had been unnecessary as her memories resurfaced and she found herself driving past all the local landmarks without conscious thought.

It was because of those memories she found herself pulling up to an apartment complex sooner then planned. Gently sighing, she lifted her head and frowned at the curious gazes from the pedestrians. Deciding that she couldn't delay any longer, she grabbed her purse and keys. As she walked through the lobby, Asuka held her head high.

"You can do this, Asuka," she whispered minutes later, standing in front of a door. Yet before she could push the buzzer, the door flew open and she barely dodged a rushing child.

"Urumi, get back here!" a male voice shouted within the apartment.

"Can't… school… late," the girl's voice came back.

Asuka stood there wide-eyed watching the scene trying to hold back a chuckle and failing as Urumi's father came to the door. Humor and exasperation turned to shock and worry as the two adults stared at one another. The redhead found herself nervously shifting under the man's calm stare. She looked for any signs of duplicity when he gently took her hand.

"You want some coffee, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

- - - -

"You didn't have to cook, you know."

The redhead stopped her preparation of dinner, turning around to look at Shinji. It'd taken most of the day for her shock to wear off, though she attributed that to sleep. She had shared coffee with Shinji that morning before he had left for work, and he had been adamant about her staying. His reasoning had been that the apartment was large enough and he had a spare bedroom she could stay in so why waste money. Her anxiety at finding herself in such a situation was hard to overcome, but she finally relented.

She had slept for eights hours before waking and exploring the apartment, which was twice as big as Misato's old residence. Asuka had limited her exploration to what she could see in the open and didn't snoop like the old days. Her examinations had revealed that he was moderately successful, having graduated from a good school. She had ceased her probing before Urumi had come home, and then left to do some grocery shopping. Shinji had been waiting when she came back and she had set about making dinner while he helped Urumi with her homework.

"It's no problem," she countered. "After all, you let me sleep here when it'd been easier to turn me away."

"Asuka…"

"Besides dinner's ready."

With that, she plated the last dish and brought the platter over to the table. Dinner had been costly, as she had forgotten how expensive certain ingredients were in Japan. However, as they ate and the Ikaris gave her compliments on the meal she considered it money well spent. What also helped was that none of the distance she had felt when Shinji had been by her side months ago was present. His behavior was very close to her memories and it reassured her that she could maybe patch things up.

"Is something wrong, Urumi?" she asked the little girl, who had been staring at her for several minutes.

"Are you really Asuka?" Urumi timidly asked.

The redhead looked puzzled. "Why?"

"You're nothing like how Kensuke or Touji describe you. You don't have horns or breathe flames like a demon," she innocently told Asuka, which caused both adults to choke on their food. "You're nice though a little quiet, but you haven't hit father once."

"Urumi, you do know that Kensuke and Touji like to exaggerate things. You shouldn't believe everything they say about the past," Shinji gently scolded.

"I know," she whined, but then smiled. "And besides I like her."

Asuka found herself staring in amazement for the second time that day at the interaction between father and daughter. At least she thought Urumi was his child, but she hadn't had the courage to dig that deep so soon. However, what shocked her was that it was as if she was watching herself. The girl wasn't acting as a child, but as an equal to her father. Asuka smiled sadly, hoping that such early maturity wouldn't harm her as it had hurt herself.

"Can I ask you something, Asuka?" Shinji asked.

"Of course you can."

"Why are you here?"

The question hung in the air as all three present waited for an answer. Asuka put her fork down and stared back at Shinji, never loosing eye contact. The entire day she had known that he'd ask that question and she'd have to respond. At first, she had tried to think of a complex answer to describe her actions and feelings, but had rejected it. The simpler and best thing she could say was the only one that worked. Her eyes darted to Urumi, who sat waiting for her answer, before shifting back to Shinji.

"Because I care."

"Asuka…"

"I'm confused about what I'm feeling, but I care about you, okay!" she shouted. "You could've left me all alone in the hospital, but you didn't. For three weeks, you stayed with me even though it must have been tearing you apart." Asuka shook her head and squeezed her eyes shut trying to stop the tears. "And it's been ripping me to pieces. I don't know if I can make up for all my mistakes but…"

What she was going to say never left her mouth as she closed it with a snap. Strong arms were around her shoulders, holding her tightly. She hadn't noticed Shinji move from his chair to her side and it didn't matter. All she could feel was his body heat and hear his quiet breathing.

"Thank you."

- - - -

"So how awkward is it staying at Shinji's?"

Asuka lowered the icepack from her cheek to stare at Misato, who was sitting across from her. She really wanted be angry with her former guardian, but knew she had no right to be mad. Her relationship with Misato had always been cool, though it thawed at times before freezing later. She also knew that her abrupt departure and the pain it had caused Shinji were the reasons for the slap. Still it had been quite unexpected when Misato had hit her after opening the door. Yet that was the only sign of displeasure shown.

"A little weird," she answered. "At times he doesn't know what to say though I'm also the same way. We both want to say things but can't."

"Because you both know you're going to be leaving after his birthday."

Asuka bowed her head. "I never thought I'd see any of you again. I thought I had buried everything, but I guess I was wrong."

"What happens after you leave?"

"I don't know."

Misato nodded to herself and lifted her mug not surprised at the answer. While it wasn't a reassuring response, it told her that Asuka was being truthful instead of hiding. She had gotten Shinji's story after finding him in the cemetery and she had wanted Asuka's. Yet the redhead's expression told her everything she needed to know and it saddened her. Still her former charges were adults and had to handle things on their own without outside interference.

"Not what I was hoping for, though I do hope you'll stay in touch from now on."

Asuka grinned. "That's an easy promise."

"I'm going to hold you to that." Misato leaned forward and fixed the redhead in place with a mischievous smirk. "So what are you going to give him as a present?"

"Not what you're thinking!" Asuka snapped. "I was thinking of a surprise birthday party."

The purple-haired woman stared Asuka with wide-eyes and began to chuckle. It was such an innocent thing to say that she couldn't believe Asuka had suggested it. Not once had the three of them ever celebrated their own or each other's birthday. To hear Asuka say that she wanted to celebrate Shinji's birthday, much less hold a surprise party was almost too much. Yet, as much as she wanted to be happy, one bit of information dampened her mood.

"It won't work, Asuka," she told the feisty woman.

"And why not! Do you think that I can't handle planning a party?" Asuka half rose out of her chair before sitting down quickly. "Sorry, I shouldn't have…"

"No problem," Misato reassured her. "The reason it won't work is it's also Urumi's birthday. Shinji hasn't celebrated his own birthday since she came into his life."

"Then why was she so excited about the idea?"

"You told her."

"Of course I did! She's a bright kid and I wanted her approval for such an idea." Both women were silent for several moments before Asuka looked up. "Can you tell me about Urumi? Was Shinji married?"

"No, I can't," Misato sadly answered. "It's not my story to tell, just like it wasn't my place to tell Shinji about your mother."

Asuka was disappointed that Misato wouldn't tell her about Urumi or Shinji's life since she had left. She understood why the older woman was reluctant to talk, but she didn't want to be too forward with Shinji. The redhead had hoped that Misato would fill in the blanks, but now knew she'd have to ask Shinji before she left to calm her worries. A light touch caused her to look up to see her guardian studying her with gentle eyes.

"I don't have to tell you to be careful, Asuka." Her serious tone disappeared and became more cheerful. "So why don't you tell me what's been happening in you're life."

"Not much except I got shot a few months ago."

"What?! I'm going to kill Shinji for not telling me that!"

"You better not!"

- - - -

"You know this is the happiest I've ever seen Shinji."

Asuka nodded at Hikari's comment while her eyes carefully tracked Shinji's movement. Her reunion with her old best friend had gone smoother than the one with Misato. Conversation had been slow to start but once they got over that hurdle time had flown by. The former class representative had caught her up to what everyone had been doing over the years. She was a little saddened though to hear some news from the brunette.

Things hadn't gone smoothly with her and Touji after graduation and they had separated. Out of everyone she had been acquainted with, Asuka had hoped that Hikari would've had a happy life. Still things weren't as bad as the two of them were still friends and met monthly dinner dates. In fact, Hikari had hinted that she might try again since her latest attempts at dating had failed miserably. Of course, she hadn't exactly sounded hopeful when she told Asuka that part.

However, despite how much she still liked Hikari's open personality Asuka felt her friend still missed much. Shinji did look happy, but to her it was if he was forcing himself to enjoy the party. His posture was not of someone relaxed and she noted that his smile never reached his eyes. It was easy to notice the signs because she'd mastered the art of false appearances growing up. Picking up her drink, Asuka took a thoughtful sip pondering what she should do.

"I don't think he is," she told her friend after reaching a decision.

Hikari glanced at her and then Shinji. "What makes you think that?"

"Experience."

Shinji shivered at feeling an itch between his shoulder blades while he chatted with Rei. Slightly turning his head, he spotted Hikari and Asuka talking across the rooms. That's what the two women appeared to be doing except for the fact that the redhead was observing him. Various thoughts and a couple fantasies flitted through his mind at seeing the beautiful woman in her green dress. He gave himself a shake and banished the dangerous images since he knew they wouldn't happen.

The party was a nice event though not much of a surprise since Urumi had let it slip the day before. He was amazed Asuka had gone through so much trouble for him. She had always been a complex person to deal with and it seemed she hadn't changed in that department over the years. Their week together had shown him she was trying to patch things up and he was grateful for that, even if she was leaving again. There was much he wanted to tell her but…

"Can I talk to you, Shinji?"

He whipped back around and found Asuka behind him. Her sky-blue eyes were warm yet serious too.

"Okay."

- - - -

"You're not happy."

Shinji stopped walking, turned to Asuka, and swallowed. The friendly and relaxed face he'd seen over the past week was gone. It was now one of anger mixed with disappointment and a touch of worry. How he could read those emotions was a mystery as each of them briefly flashed across her features.

"Am I supposed to be?" he asked. "I was enjoying the party, but..."

"But I'm leaving in two days," Asuka finished. "Does it hurt that much?"

"Yes."

Turning, he started down the park's path once again without another word. He smiled at hearing Asuka quicken her pace to catch up. A moment later, he stood up straight as if shocked when she wrapped her arm around his. As he recovered from that shock, she surprised him once again by resting her head on his shoulder.

"Why?" she whispered.

"Because you're not here," he confessed. "I've tried forgetting you through school then work and by concentrating on Urumi. But each time I succeeded something, whether a reunion or a friendly get together, brought the memories back." Shinji angrily shook his head. "What was supposed to be fun turned depressing."

"You know they say it's unhealthy to be stuck on one person for so long?"

She stumbled when Shinji stopped and whirled away from her. Yet before they could fully separate, she snagged his hand. Intertwining her fingers with his she held him fast, not letting him go. It was her turn to be shocked when he faced her with anger burning in his eyes. However, she didn't turn away instead calmly meeting his gaze.

"Damn it, Asuka! Have you ever cared about my feelings?" he raged. "In the past years did you ever stop and consider what I felt when you left?"

"Did you love me?" she asked softly.

Anger quickly turned to embarrassment. "Maybe... I think so... I don't know."

Not releasing him, the redhead guided him to a bench a few feet away joining him when he sat. Once on the bench she let go of Shinji and brought her hands to her lap. Silence settled over the pair as they contemplated the past and the present. Asuka opened her mouth a few times only to snap it shut, the ease of talking to him over the week deserting her. He wasn't any better as he continually fidgeted next to her before finally reaching over and taking her hand.

"We were the perfect team back in school," he began. "We shored up each other's weaknesses and reinforced our strengths. When we worked together we were unbeatable." Shinji smiled sadly. "That's why I thought when we graduated we could maybe try to make the team..."

"Permanent."

Shinji nodded. "Yeah. I know we never spoke about it, but everyone else considered us boyfriend and girlfriend."

"And college with us living alone would've been the perfect place to try to be an actual couple," Asuka added. "No stupid friends to make rude comments, or a guardian that'd walk in at the wrong time."

"I would've been able to figure out if I loved you and you could've told me how you felt."

The bitterness of his comment hurt, and Asuka stood and tried to leave but he tightened his grip. She should've known and, in fact, had hoped that they could clear things up, but not like this. It was painful emotionally to hear his words and know she was the one responsible.

"It wasn't your fault Shinji, it never was," she whispered. "It was me."

"It doesn't matter." Flesh hit flesh and Shinji held his cheek.

"How can you say that?" she screamed. "A few minutes ago you were yelling at me asking if I ever thought about your feelings! You just told me that you practically loved me back then, and now you're saying…"

"What will it change?" he asked defiantly. "Will it bring back the years we were apart? Will it heal our hearts?"

"No and maybe," Asuka replied. She couldn't meet his eyes and studied the ground. "I was scared, Shinji. Everything I've ever done in my life I did out of fear. Fear of being forgotten, fear of being abandoned, and fear of dying were always in the back of my mind."

"But…"

"My life back then was too calm and perfect, Shinji." She wiped her eyes. "Something was going to happen to destroy my happiness, I knew it. So before I could be hurt I left everyone. I'm so sorry."

Shinji stood and gently wrapped his arms around the sobbing redhead and drew her close. He winced as she fiercely hugged him back even as she soaked his shoulder. They stood like that for several minutes before the tears slowed. He loosened his hold to allow her some freedom, but she didn't loosen her own grip.

"When you left I thought I had failed," he stated. "All I could think about were my actions and how something I did must've driven you away. That lasted a couple months before loneliness came crashing back down." Shinji stroked her back hoping to help Asuka relax.

"You know what's dumb is that I haven't been happy since leaving."

His smile grew bigger at her quiet admission. He'd always had a hard time staying angry with Asuka and it seemed he hadn't changed. True, he'd been mad for her suggesting something was wrong with him for thinking about her. But then she'd told him her reason for leaving and coupled with what she'd said the first day back, there was no way he could hate her. Instead, all he could do was feel sympathy for the woman who was her own worst enemy.

"I met Christine at the beginning of our senior year. She was the daughter of a NERV engineer and had heard about us… about me." He briefly looked away. "We both were looking for someone and things went fast after that."

"You don't have to tell me."

"Just listen, please." He felt her nod. "You can call me a pervert, naïve, or anything else you want, but I wanted you to be my first and only. Then you left, leaving me with a hole in my heart. Christine filled it physically. We were like Kaji and Misato when they first met, in bed constantly."

Asuka pulled back after he was silent for a long time. "What happened?"

"She left me without any explanation. It hurt but nothing like when you left," Shinji calmly explained. "Deep down I knew I was just using her, but I did like her. Once she was gone, I buried myself in school never thinking about having another relationship. I was meant to be alone so why try…"

"That's not true."

Shinji smiled weakly. "It's what I thought. Anyway, a year later a social service worker showed up at my apartment with Urumi. She explained everything and asked whether I wanted to take custody of her."

"And the rest is history."

Shinji fully released Asuka before continuing down the walkway. Again, she had to pick up her pace to catch up with the man. Once she was at his side, she studied him in the moonlight and waited.

"No," he whispered. "You taught me to stand up for myself and that's what I did. I demanded a paternity test, and got one. Even with the results, I wasn't able to make a decision since it'd mean I would have to leave college."

"What changed your mind?"

"Did Mister Kaji ever tell you about his childhood?" Asuka shook her head. "He told me what it was like growing up, it wasn't good. While I'm sure things have improved, I decided I wasn't going to be like our parents. I wanted Urumi to be loved and cared for instead of being passed around, so I signed the papers."

"It must have been fun going to school and raising a child."

"Yeah, though I wouldn't use the word fun." He grinned at his former roommate. "Misato helped a lot, especially while I was at law school."

"Misato."

Shinji saw the happiness leave Asuka's face and felt guilty. Glancing down, he acted upon old feelings, and took her hand once again. The sadness, which had started to grow, disappeared replaced with a slight blush. His own cheeks heated when he realized that in such a short time he'd held her hand more than all the times in the past. However, he wasn't going to let go until the very last minute.

"We're still screwed up, aren't we?" Asuka asked. "I mean we go from happy to sad to angry back to happy without thinking. It's not right."

"But it helps we're so messed up," he replied. "Would any of what we said have come out if we were calm and collected?"

"No," she answered, tightening her hold. "And thank you for telling me what you did."

"I just wanted some closure between us before you left." He stopped and faced her. "You'll be back, right? This isn't a one time event."

Asuka frowned. "I can't make any promises, Shinji."

- - - -

November 2026

"Merry Christmas."

Asuka looked up from the letter she was writing to Misato to see an envelope drop onto her desk. She picked it up and saw that it wasn't typical departmental mail, but something different. Glancing up, she saw Angela leaning against a partition section with a faint smile on her face.

"I see you're keeping in touch with those you left in Japan," Angela stated. "Though isn't that old-fashioned and slow compared to email."

The redhead gathered up her letter and Misato's organizing them into a pile and placing it in a corner. She had kept her promise by writing regularly. Hand writing her letters to everyone was her way of telling them that she cared. Still her partial letter was of no consequence as she picked up the envelope and studied it.

"What's this?" she quietly inquired.

"An early Christmas present," the blonde answered.

Asuka sighed. "Christmas isn't for another month."

"You need to loosen up or everything is going to pass you by."

The former Evangelion pilot groaned and gave into Angela's amused look, besides she was also curious. A personal letter was unusual in the company as everyone reused envelopes, scratching out the previous name. Even minor confidential information was handled in the same manner, which had always puzzled her given her past. Using a fingernail, Asuka ran it along the short edge careful not to get a paper cut and retrieved the documents. Her eyes quickly skimmed over the letter and she felt her breath catch in her throat when she reached the end of the first page.

"Why?" she whispered.

"I'm giving you a chance to correct a mistake."

"But you deserve the promotion more than I do, Angela!" Asuka slammed the papers down. "I've only been here for five years compared to your ten."

The older woman retrieved a nearby chair. "It doesn't matter. I told them that I would be willing to return to Germany to bring one of our branches back up to standards. I nominated you because you already know the language, the city, and the culture of Japan. Besides, you've accomplished more in five years than some have done in ten."

The redhead shook her head. "Why are you going through so much trouble for me?"

Angela placed a hand on Asuka's knee, getting her attention. She considered the redhead a daughter she never had, though she'd never state that aloud. Over the last five years, she had learned things that no one else knew. At least no one else in America or the company knew them. That information had saddened her, but she had also resolved to help Asuka when the time came.

"I've been married and divorced three times in my life," she began. "I wondered for a long time whether I was meant to be alone. Yet, the more I thought about it the more I came to realize something."

"What did you realize?" Asuka reluctantly prodded, she knew her role.

"That I had made a mistake." Angela smiled sadly. "I realized too late that I was happiest with my first husband, the person I had dated throughout high school."

"I didn't love Shinji!" Asuka protested.

"Maybe. Yet, you were scared at how much you shared in common with him. You told me that, remember?" The blonde leaned in closer. "You ran because you didn't want to face the fact that you two complimented one another."

"Shut up!"

"Stop running away, Asuka!"

- - - -

Christmas Day 2026

"Sorry to cause everyone so much trouble."

Shinji finished pulling a blanket over Urumi before turning. Asuka stood behind him wearing jeans and a fluffy sweater she had received as a present. Standing, he studied the room that looked like a tornado had hit it. The devastated appearance came from everyone opening presents and the fact that Asuka was still moving in.

"You know it's no problem," he reassured her.

"But…"

"No buts, Miss Soryu," he admonished. "It doesn't matter whether it's Christmas or just another day, everyone's happy you're here."

With that, he bent over picked up an empty plate and stacked it with another. Moving through the room, he slowly gathered up dirty dishes. It would take some time but he wasn't about to leave the mess for the night. By the time his hands were full, he finally noticed Asuka had joined him in the chore of cleaning.

It took several trips to the kitchen and four large garbage bags before they could see the floor. An hour later, they had cleared enough of the clutter to be able to navigate the sleeping bodies without stepping in something. Shinji forced back a yawn as the long day was finally taking a toll. Yet, he paused at the entrance to the living room.

Asuka lightly touched Misato's cheek. "Has she been drinking a lot again?"

"Nope. Like I said everyone's just happy you're here," he said. "Especially Misato since her family is together again."

"Family," Asuka whispered.

Shinji watched as she shuffled to where he stood and got a pleasant surprise. Asuka gently leaned against him, her chin on his shoulder. Smiling, he embraced her, feeling her heartbeat and warmth where they touched.

"It's been so long since I heard that word," she whispered. "So long since the people using it were sincere. And forever since I believed it. But…"

"Asuka?"

"But I'm finally home. I'm back where I belong." She hugged him tighter. "I'm home, Shinji."

"Welcome home."

- - - -

If Asuka never left because of anger or hatred but fear and realized after seeing Shinji that it was a mistake she regretted, how should she react? Here they were real close with no defenses up before she left. So should it be improbable that when she finally reunited with Shinji that she couldn't act weak? Asuka has many sides to her.

And yes, I know the prosecutor would be involved with a plea agreement and not a detective. I just didn't want to make up a character just for a couple paragraphs when they'd never be used again.

Timeline:

December 2018: Asuka leaves Japan 3 months before senior year. Age 17

December 2026: Eight years later, she returns. Age 25

October 2019: Urumi conceived. Shinji age 18 senior high school.
November 2020: Shinji takes custody of Urumi, age 5 months.
June 2026: Asuka throws surprise party, Urumi age 6 years.