Never Look Back

Summary: Someone is getting married, so why are they so unhappy? Slash

Disclaimer: Don't own them, never will. That sucks.

They say in a near death experience your life flashes before your eyes. So, why of all times are there images of his past hidden behind his eyelids? It's supposed to be the happiest day of his life, but then again who is he really kidding?

His 'wedding'. There should be fireworks, like the feeling of the perfect air, or at least that's how Shane would describe it. Shane, his best man. Not that he isn't grateful. Shane is his friend, he's one of his only friends really, so he should feel grateful, for the support. The only problem is, is that, the one that should be standing behind him, couldn't do it. Couldn't bear to see him give his heart to the wrong person.

Wait, that's wrong. They shouldn't be standing behind him. They should be standing in front of him. But hey, too late now. God, that sounded weak even to him.

The person across from him. The one he's dedicating his life too. What does she really know about him? That he wears a lot of green and spends all his time at the computer. But if he asked questions like, how does he like his pizza? Lots of meat. Or how did he get that scar on his knee? Training secretly at the academy when he was 12. Or maybe why every so often instead of wearing his usual green, he'll wear a shade of dark red, crimson almost.

Tori, sitting in the front row, would want to know how she makes him feel. He can say he's in love, but Tori would press, did press, wanting to know if he got that 'over the moon' feeling your supposed to get. That, 'can't eat, can't sleep' feeling. Well, not everyone gets that.

His bride, fiancé, whatever- smiles at him. Pearly white teeth, big blue eyes, dark brown hair. Her beauty is astounding, really. The eyes were what drew him to her. Blue eyes you could almost get lost in. Almost. Caught up in a fantasy of what could've been. Could've, would've, should've. No, not should've. He loved her, really. So why wasn't he convinced?

Blake sits in the front, next to Tori. He wouldn't even be here if not for Tori insisting. Not that he wasn't invited, it's just that he seems to think things should be different. Won't be convinced that this is what he wants.

The time for objections is upon them, but he knows no one will say anything. A few, the ones who really know him, want to, but they won't. And he can't decided whether that makes him feel relieved or not.

"I, Cam Watanabe, take you, Macy Desala, as my wife, through sickness and health, in richer and poorer-" the words sound wooden to him, but she doesn't seem to notice. Maybe that shows how well she knows him. Hunter would make some stupid joke about her name being the name of a department store, to lighten the mood. That is, if he were here.

Shane shifts behind him. He can feel the tension growing in him, in his shoulders and tries to relax his body. He feels like he's getting ready for a fight, his opponent standing in front of him. He has to anticipate the next move, then counter it. Right. Now he's thinking of his wedding as a fight. Perfect.

He can't see him, but Dustin is standing behind him. He can picture the look on the ex rangers face. Schooled to show no emotion. That look seems to be very popular today.

His side of the church holds only about twenty people, very few that he's close too. Macy's side is packed, full of people dressed in frills and lavender, with camera's and bright smiles and he hates every single one of them. Which really isn't fair, they've done nothing to him.

They're smart, bachelor degrees in every row, but none of them know. None of them know what its like to lose a parent when you're a child, or to fight for your life, or to see your dead mother again, if only for a little while.

Hunter does. He promised himself he wouldn't think about Hunter today, or about their 'fling' if you could call it that. Or about all those nights they spent together, rides on Hunters bike, the times when the word was closing in on him and Hunter was the only that could reach him.

Why was he doing this again? Oh yeah, to be happy. Settling down, having children, white picket fence, dog, yadda yadda. He never really did like dogs, more of a cat person. Except, Macy was allergic to cats. Right.

It was time…time for him to say those two words. Three letters. A binding contract and the image of a ball and chain should not of just appeared in his head, but did. And the picture, of Hunter, smiling, even after he had called it off, told the blond he couldn't do it anymore. Then seven months, two weeks, three days and seven hours later standing at the alter and…and Hunter was parked two blocks away. Had told him earlier he'd be there. In front of the ice cream parlour, waiting. Just in case, in case he changed his mind.

Hunter knew him better then anyone else apparently. Macy was looking angry, waiting for him to say 'I do'. Waiting, waiting, waiting. She was waiting for him to say it, his dad was waiting for grandchildren, Tori was waiting for Blake and Blake was waiting for Tori. Dustin was waiting for this to be over with, Shane was waiting to get out of the tux, Hunter was waiting for him and he was waiting for…what exactly?

He looked out at the crowd, the perfect people, perfect lives. They really didn't know him, she didn't know him, but he knew who did.

It hit him like a ton of bricks. He couldn't do this. Wouldn't do this. The relief washed over him. He looked at Macy, smiling. Slowly and deliberately, he said "I don't." Then smiling even more, he stepped away from her, walking back down the isle, then breaking into a jog. Behind him, he could make out crying, but even if he tried, he couldn't bring himself to care, he had places to be.

Throwing open the large oak doors, he sprinted down the sidewalk, ignoring the calls of the other family. Only glancing back, to see the ex rangers, stopping anyone from chasing after him. He ran, feet hitting the pavement, down the street and around the corner, praying that Hunter would be there. Across the street, from the out of the way ice cream place, was a old blue pickup that he would recognize anywhere.

The blond sitting in the drivers seat saw him and started the engine as he jogged across the street, opening the door and getting in.

"Knew you'd show up" He had missed the easy smirk and the blue eyes he could feel himself falling into.

"I really was an idiot this time." He admitted, shifted awkwardly.

"Yeah, but you showed up and that's all that matters, we're gonna have a long talk by the way, but I got to know. What made you change your mind?" Hunter turned his curious gaze on him.

Cam looked at him, then shifted closer "It took me awhile, but I finally got it. She didn't know me, I thought I loved her, but I don't think I ever did."

Hunter studied him a little longer "Good, cause I can't have you falling for someone else, now can I?" The blond looked slightly unsure as he said this, so Cam leaned forwards, kissing him deeply.

"I can't love anyone else, I love you. I'm sorry it took me so long to figure it out." He said simply, after they broke apart.

"At least you did, cause I love you too, you know." Hunter gave him a quick kiss before pulling into Sunday afternoon traffic "So, where too?"

"How about, somewhere far away from here?" He laced his fingers with Hunters other hand.

"Good as done."

The crowd was gathered in front of the church as the pick up drove by.

"There's the groom!" Someone yelled. Tori, Blake, Dustin and Shane cheered as they drove by, waving. The bride burst into tears, quickly comforted by one of the guests. Tori hugged Blake, kissing him deeply, Dustin and Shane smiling like lunatics and Cam and Hunter never looked back.