Tall Tales.

The TARDIS and her crew of tired travellers had been trapped in the plasma storm around Sol for over three hours with the three of them trying to fight the currents and force themselves out. But everywhere they went there were more debris and more energy spillage and it was shaking the TARDIS like a jelly on a trampoline.

Eventually the Doctor decided to just sit back and wait the storm out. It was either that or have a mutiny as stomachs rebelled at the sea-sick sensations of the TARDIS's movements.

That was five hours ago and the novelty of having nothing to do had soon worn off.

Rose had taken to wandering the TARDIS, getting to know her way around and the Doctor and Jack had disappeared some hours ago to get to know each other again, especially for Jack to come to terms with the new, new Doctor and his face— something he had been quite surprised to see when they picked him up in Cardiff.

Jack hadn't taken to the new Doctor as well as they would have liked and Rose was eager to leave them alone to reacquire the trust that Jack had had in the Doctor.

She wasn't going to leave them alone for too long though, she didn't want them to reacquire the sexual tension—at least, not without her.

She finally found them in the kitchen, two glasses and a large bottle of something potent between them. It was thick, orange and was smoking with green tendrils of acrid smoke.

"Hey, Rose," the Doctor greeted and turned back to Jack. "On Sentaris Prime I saved their King from an assassination; brilliant fellow he was too," he said with his usual grin. "It was where I picked up the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster. Best drink in the universe."

"Huh," Jack laughed and poked his glass. "This is watered down."

"Of course it is," the Doctor rolled his eyes. "You think I want to go into rehabilitation after each sip?"

"Light-weight!"

"Intergalactic playboy!"

"You boys getting on okay?" Rose added worriedly, but the grins that they were both sporting put her mind at ease. It was nothing more than a pissing contest, a way for blokes to accept each other.

She'd seen it with Mickey and next door's dog.

"Okay," Jack said suddenly. "An assassination attempt, nothing to it. Done a dime a dozen, myself."

The Doctor snorted and then discreetly wiped his tie. "I'll have you know they were H'Rons; savage beasts with three teeth and more legs than you can shake a stick at. Took the arm off my favourite jumper."

"Yeah?" Jack puffed up his chest. "I was once on a cargo ship from Illinois to Metabeg off Orion and single-handedly foiled an attempt at an arch-Duke's life from a team of rampaging Friskedans. He was so grateful he gave me his daughter for the night."

"Hah!" The Doctor swiped a drink from his glass. "Earth 9309 I saved an entire conclave from decimation and I was offered the three most beautiful women on the planet for a week!"

"Did you?" Jack leaned forward, very interested.

"Nah," the Doctor said ruefully. "Too busy."

Jack scoffed and slurped back his own glass, pouring more from the smouldering bottle in the centre. "Should never be too busy to take up that offer."

The Doctor let his gaze flicker over an interested Rose and then back to Jack. "I had to go warn some villagers about a volcano."

Jack grinned. "I once surfed my way through a minor proton field to stop five Sycoraxians from eating a newly born Vorgonian."

"Huh, I saved Queen Victoria and her entire line from being eaten by a werewolf."

Rose watched his eyes flicker to her to warn her about saying anything against his slight exaggeration.

She grinned and folded her arms across her chest, wondering how this would go.

"Stopped a Weevil taking a chunk out of a police officer who would become mother to the future Empire Leader of the Milky Way!" Jack bragged.

The Doctor waved his hand in a dismissive gesture. "Saved Charles Dickens being taken over by gas monster aliens from beyond the rim."

"Actually—" Rose started to say that it was really Gwyneth who had done that but the Doctor silenced her with a glare.

"I killed nine hired guns that were after General Mal Reynolds and his crew and helped him reach Miranda," Jack shot out, then paused. "Although I did almost get shot at by one guy for hitting on his sister … and his wife."

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "I landed on a parallel universe which helped me to save this one from nuclear disaster."

"Can't travel to parallel worlds," Jack snorted. "Basic time travel 101."

"Can. Did."

"Can't!"

"Can."

"We did, though," Rose offered. "We left Mickey there."

Jack looked up at Rose and smiled. "Okay, fine. Rose says then I accept it."

"Oh, cheers," The Doctor muttered and drained his glass, pouring another. "Don't take the word of a Time Lord, no, no."

Jack grinned at Rose over the top of the Doctor's head and bit his lip. "Okay, here's one. The Medji of Ess-e-rai about to go into civil war over the loss of their sacred ball, lost centuries before. I drop by with a yo-yo and save the day."

"A yo-yo?"

Jack shrugged. "Some kid threw it out of a passing space shuttle and it didn't burn up on impact, they figured it was magic."

"That's nothing, I once saved the Earth with nothing more than a few strips of copper wire and a make-shift VHS—years before they were invented."

Jack frowned. "What's a VHS?"

"Before holograms, laser disks, RD, before KM, before Disc-chips, around the same time as DVD's."

"Aw cute," Jack gave a small smile. "Saw one of those in a museum once, how on Earth did they ever see the picture?"

Rose bristled. "Oi! That's tech of my age thank you very much!"

Jack gave her an apologetic look and turned back to the Doctor. "Rode into twenty third century U.S on a radiation wave and using one sonic disrupter took out a platoon of invading Martians."

Rose frowned. "Are there Martians?"

"Second generation Earth rejects," The Doctor said with a dismissive wave. "Okay, Jack, rode into eighteenth century Versailles, through a mirror from a space station in the thirtieth century, on a white horse and stopped the assassination of the Uncrowned Queen of France from clockwork droids with nothing but the gift of the gab."

Rose was silent but Jack seemed impressed.

"Stopped a sex gas from screwing the population of Wales to death … with a kiss."

The Doctor raised an eyebrow.

Jack grinned. "Hey, you work with what you've got."

"Beaten Sontarans," the Doctor said, "in medieval England."

"Weevils in Tenby."

"Dinosaurs in Liverpool."

"Fairies in downtown Cardiff."

"Cybermen in a parallel universe!"

"A half-finished Cyberwoman in my own basement!"

"Slitheen in Downing Street!"

"Time Echoes and ghosts!"

"I adsorbed the Time Vortex, piloted the TARDIS, stopped the Emperor of the Daleks from destroying the Earth and wiped every single last Dalek from the sky, stopping the Time War."

Silence.

"Then," Rose continued. "I brought Jack back from the dead and saved the last Time Lord, taking him back to Earth and nursing him better. I saved the Doctor, the Earth and the Universe and I get to fly around space and time with a rogue time agent and the last Time Lord."

Rose leaned over and plucked the drink from the Doctor's fingers and knocked it back in one. "I think I win."

She walked out of the room leaving the Doctor and Jack gaping after her.

Jack looked away from the door and flicked his glass with a pout.

"No one likes a show off."