Standard Disclaimers Apply.

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Edited. Thanks to Kuro for being a dear and pointing out the errors. I appreciate the correction very much. :)

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-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Ai no subete ni deau made : Until you find all that is love

by: girldisturbed

-o-o-o-o-o-o-

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Hello it's been so long…

It's great to see you again.

Its funny, but after all this time I keep wondering…

Do you still consider me a friend?

-

A gust of wind blew carrying with it the scent of spring along with the harmonious melody of birds chirping in the early morning breeze. Tightening the scarf that was wound around her neck, the coffee haired brunette smiled and crouched down in front of the stoned grave that read Kotoko Fujioka at it's nameplate.

Smiling fondly, she reached out and touched the stone bearing her mother's name.

Hello, Mother. How have you been?

She turned to the grave beside it and inhaled sharply. Body slightly shivering from the cold and the chill she received from her turbulent emotions.

I hope you didn't cause Mom too much trouble Dad…

She reached out to touch it just as she did her mother's and unknowingly let out a weary smile to grace her lips. No. Time it seemed had not done a thing to dull the pain. She could still feel it to her very bones, how her heart constricted, how her head wouldn't stop spinning, she couldn't seem to gather enough air…the memory of it. Of both of them...Okaa-san…Otou-san...

It made her hurt everywhere.

Her hands clenched on the fabric of her scarf.

No! Dammit! Hadn't she cried enough about this already?

Taking in and letting out large gulps of air, she repeated the process continuously until her beating heart slowed and breathing became normal again. Blinking back the annoying tears that managed to gather unwarranted, the woman closed her eyes and said a brief prayer before taking back her hand and stood to dust herself off.

She couldn't stay here anymore. Not like this. Not because of the pain the memories brought, but because she had a schedule to follow and it…

It was time to go.

Forcing on a smile she glanced at the stoned graves one last time and bowed to each respectfully.

I'm sorry Otou-san. I know you don't want me to be this way. I promise I'll try harder next time so…don't worry so much okay? I'll make sure to came back again on Monday.

--

Exiting the cemetery after she called the cab station for a taxi, Haruhi sat in one of the benches outside and waited.

She'd been gone for four years now.

Main cause of departure being education, she left Japan to continue her study and moved in with her only remaining relative, Aunt Kim Chun Lee in Korea. When news of her father being caught up in a hostage incident and shot during one of his trips to the mall reached her, the sophomore found herself hard-pressed to hold onto her usually held calm and flew into a terrified panic.

If it weren't for the Host Club members and the comfort they managed to give her with their presence, she would've rallied and hysterically burst into tears right in front of the emergency room. It was a blessing to have them there but horribly embarrassing at the same time.

She hadn't spoken to them for a week after that.

But then she seldom spoke after that incident either…

Looking up when the sound of a vehicle approaching filtered through her wandering mind, she stood and held out a hand; waving at the taxi. Opening and closing the door, she got in and told the driver the location of their old apartment complex. Nodding and answering his questions about the location when asked. She stared out the window after a moment of continued silence, tuning out the music playing on the FM radio and lost herself in thought.

It's been so long…

Four years.

Four long years…

She wondered if they were still the same. Time brought on many changes for her, both in the physical and the mental aspects.

Closing her eyes leaning back on the leather seat, Haruhi smiled. Thoughts revolving around the last time she'd seen her friends from the Host Club.

Such a bittersweet goodbye that was…

--

They were at the airport. Everyone had come to see her off. While Mori-sempai had remained silent as always, the only difference from the usual, had been the frown apparent on his stoic face.

Glancing up when the speakers announced the passengers of her flight to be ready, she looked down at the person frantically tugging her arm to get her attention.

Hunny-sempai had been crying the whole drive to the airport and had stuck to her side refusing to let go. Studying him, teary eyed and sniffling, she lowered herself to kneel and gave what she hoped was an encouraging smile. Reaching out to help him wipe the wetness from his cheeks, worried eyes scanning his form; silently telling him that everything would be fine, that it would be alright. And that he should stop crying because Hunny wasn't suited for the tears he'd been continuously shedding.

"Ha-haru…Haru-chan dame -"

Engulfing him in a hug before he finished the sentence that was no doubt a plea for her to stay, she frowned when all it seemed to do was make him sob harder. Sighing when a large hand descended on his shoulder she glanced up, mouth armed with a grateful smile and stopping short when she was greeted by Mori's disapproving frown.

"Mitsukuni." The word came out as both a warning and question for the distressed blonde.

Hunny nodded, mouth slowly moving to mumble his apologies while his eyes held a self-deprecated look for acting so childishly in front of Haruhi. He knew it was wrong to be this way but he hoped…that if it even held the slightest chance that it would get her to stay then he would do it.

Hunny put on a strained smile. No he shouldn't be like this. He shouldn't be selfish he had to understand her situation.

They all had to.

"Daijoubu Haru-chan, I'll be fine. Gomen for acting like this. Just promise me to come back ne?"

Haruhi nodded.

"Hai. It's a promise."

Turning around to glance at the twins who'd been strangely subdued throughout the whole drive, she approached Kaoru and gave him a slightly awkward smile.

"Ki wo tsukete ne Kaoru?"

The red head nodded, swallowing with slight grimace. He looked like a soldier awaiting battle as he opened his mouth to speak before thinking otherwise when no words seemed forthcoming and snapped it shut. Wracking his brain for anything. Anything at all to say that would explain how much he simply wanted her to stay; Kaoru frowned when none came and settled instead for a nervous chuckle.

He couldn't think negatively about this.

If he did he'd start breaking things just like Hikaru when she announced her decision.

Kaoru braved on a smile.

"Just make sure to come back ne Haruhi?"

She inclined her head. "Of course."

Eyes shifting to his twin when Hikaru started to slightly tremble, Haruhi frowned. Wary and worried at the same time, she approached him. Hikaru had tried several times in getting her to stay. Even going so far as resorting to drastic measures when he tried to physically shake her hoping to force her decision into staying but she stubbornly declined.

She couldn't stay here. It was both impractical and painful. The memories. They were eating her alive. She couldn't afford to pay for the tuition either. Even though Tamaki offered taking care of it, it simply would not do. She hated accepting charity and this was no exception.

"Hikaru." She called. "Daijoubu desu ka?"

Inhaling then exhaling, the more temperamental of the twins calmed himself enough to glance up. Olive eyes holding a steely look behind his irises he met her stare and nodded jerkily; crossing his arms.

Chin jutting out in defiance he glanced away as though dismissing her presence. He'd tried getting her to stay didn't he? Well if she wanted to go so badly he'd let her go. She can do whatever the hell she wanted. It wasn't like he was important enough to have any say anyway.

"Tch. Do whatever you want." He snipped. "It's not like I care anyway."

She nodded and smiled in understanding at Kaoru's apologetic smile. Backing away, she walked towards the silent brunette simply observing from the window and graced him a tentative smile.

"Take care of everyone ne Kyouya-sempai?"

Kyouya pushed up his glasses. The light reflecting to mask the eyes behind it as he murmured a brisk, "Of course." in response to her question.

"Arigato."

The sound of chiming bells that drifted from the speakers made her glance up to hear the melodic tones of the announcer requesting the passangers to be ready once more. Turning towards the only one she failed to give her regards and goodbyes to, Haruhi came to stand in front of him; right hand held out for him to shake.

"Sempai."

Tamaki glanced down at the hand then to her strained smile.

"Don't be so quiet. It's...not like you." a nervous chuckle "I hope you don't change when I get back." Her gaze dropped to the floor unwilling and unable to hold his pleading stare any longer "Well, I guess this is goodb-"

She never got to finish the sentence as lean arms engulfed her in a tight hug.

Troubled and torn she relied on his arms for strength to go through with her decision, nuzzling the cloth covering his collarbone in fondness. She hoped he wouldn't mind the tears that managed to dampen his shirt. Pulling away when the speaker announced the passengers to board, her mouth tilted upwards to form a trembling smile.

"Arigato sempai."

Ducking to avoid meeting anyone's eyes, she took her luggage and paused to look back at the group behind her. Smiling widely, eyes suspiciously bright she said a brave, "Ki wo tsukete ne minna and arigatou for everything." as a parting statement before leaving to board the plane.

She couldn't look back now.

If she did she'd eat her words and take back her decision. She couldn't live with that. Marching on accepting her fate, she gave her tickets to the stewardess, placed her luggage on the cabinet and took a seat.

She hoped she'd made the right choice and she hoped they wouldn't ever change.

Linking her fingers together and clutching it in front of her, she prayed everything would be alright. She'd see them again soon…

She prayed she would.

--

The taxi jolted to a stop.

"We're here ma'am."

Haruhi nodded and took out some yens from her purse for payment. Stepping out, she walked around the cab and smiled gratefully when the driver helped carry her luggage. Murmuring her thanks with a small bow, she handed him the bills and took out the set of keys the landlady gave through mail when she wrote of her impending arrival back in Japan.

Placing it to the key hole and turning, she twisted the brass knob and gave the door a harsh shove when it remained closed. Stumbling, she grabbed the door and caught herself before she fell. Coughing and sneezing when dust filtered through her sensitive nose, she glanced up and surveyed the small room.

Haruhi smiled. Just like she remembered. And not a furniture out of place too. She'd have to thank the landlady about that later. The place was a little bit dusty but still salvageable...she winced at the thought of cleaning with jet lag.

"Well," She consoled herself. "Home Sweet Home I guess."

Haruhi made a mental note to buy whiskey later. She doubted she'd be able to sleep well tonight.

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Translation:

Ki wo tsukete ne? – Take Care okay?, Daijoubu? – Are you alright?, Arigato – Thank you , Minna – everyone.

A/N: Just the beginning. Read and Review.