Disclaimer: Don't own Gundam Seed…
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Meyrin- Jealousy
It was autumn.
Sora wo miage nagarakana
Again.
She watched.
Tsutau namida nuguu
Children laughed and played with falling leaves.
Couples taking a stroll among those tall maple trees,
And families chatting and having a picnic on the wide field covered with red- orange leaves.
Kimi wo omou kimochi
As she took in the breath- taking scenery, a hand suddenly came to rest on her shoulder, snapping her out of her daydream.
Lunamaria looked down at her, worry in her eyes but not wanting to show it.
She forced a smile at her sister, then stood up and got ready to leave.
That's right, leave.
Kokoro kakimidashite
But why?
Her heart clenched as she thought of the answer.
Athrun.
He didn't even want to see her again.
Wakare magiwa no saikai no chikai wo
She remembered how he had screamed for her to get lost when he learned of Cagalli's death.
She remembered how he said that he should have never met her,
Or even went back to ZAFT in the first place.
Shinji tsuzuketeru kara
-If I hadn't done any of those things, maybe she would still be alive!-
Those heart- breaking words.
After all this while that she had spent with him,
It had all gone down in the drain.
Nagareru hoshi ni negai goto wo noseru
She had wanted to tell him,
All he had done was to shred her heart, bit by bit, then cast them away.
But her conscience retorted:
-In my opinion, that's just your selfish way of thinking that Athrun Zala owes you.-
Was it truly this way?
Douka buji de ite to
After all, she had been aware that Athrun had always been in love with Cagalli.
She was nothing more than a in- between, she remembered several of the grieving Orb soldiers saying. She tore our princess's heart by taking away someone she loved.
Murrue had chastened them, telling her not to mind.
Kiseki shinjite mitsuketa DUST TRAIL
-Cagalli- sama is stronger than that. In the end, she decided to choose her country over Athrun. Don't blame yourself.-
But how could she not blame herself?
She had kept on clinging to Athrun all the while through the war, hadn't she?
Mirai wo hiraku SHINING RAY OF HOPE
She hadn't spared a thought for Cagalli when she happily held Athrun's arm and walked around, hadn't she?
So what right had she to say she played no part in Cagalli's death?
"Meyrin?" She snapped out her thoughts again.
Kimi no kotoba wo shinjite matsu yo
"I'm going to get us some food, as the next shuttle leaves in an hour, okay?" She nodded her head.
As Meyrin watched her sister walk away, she remembered how Lunamaria had also been hurt brutally.
Less than 2 months after their relationship started to grow roots,
Shinn had asked for a breakup.
Dakara kanarazu modotte kite
-I'm sorry, Luna…I can't forget Stellar…so just move on…-
Lunamaria had looked so broken that day.
If it didn't help matters, the girl "Stellar" was found a few weeks later by some farmers, and she was brought to Orb without her memories, and only remembering "Shinn".
Shinn and Stellar had then reunited, but Lunamaria was cast aside.
Mune no oku ni yakitsuketa eien no MEMORY
And Lunamaria didn't even seem to mind.
-Shinn and Stellar are a match made in heaven. I can't deny that. Look at him. Have you ever seen him this happy before, Meyrin, when he was with me?-
She gripped the straps of her bag.
Were they so ill- fated?
Egao wo machi wa biteru
Both of them had someone they loved, yet in the end, they were thrown aside like rag dolls.
Because the people they loved had loved someone else.
And they were nothing but mere replacements.
Futari chiisana koro
It made her so mad, so jealous.
Why couldn't she have met Athrun sooner?
Why couldn't have Luna met Shinn sooner?
Why did Stellar and Cagalli exist?
Itsumo issho datta ne
Why did the people they love only look towards another?
She choked back tears.
"Miss Hawke?" She looked up in surprise to face Lacus Clyne.
Jitto watashi wo miru
"La…Lacus- sama! What brings you here?" She hurriedly wiped her tears away. A warm hand fell on her shoulder.
"Are you alright?" Meyrin nodded.
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lacus asked kindly.
Hitomi kirameitete
The tears fell.
"Lacus- sama…!" She buried her head into Lacus's shoulder, sobbing hard.
Lacus said nothing, only patted her back, then guided Meyrin to her seat.
"Why, why did it have to be Athrun? Why couldn't I love someone else?"
Lacus sighed.
Kimi wa watashi no te Wo hiku michishirube
"Really, Hawke- san, matters of the heart are really hard to dealt with…"
Meyrin looked up in surprise.
"Athrun was once engaged to me, a match made by our fathers. However, what I felt was nothing more than friendship, and then, one fine day, I found myself with Kira."
Sora ni kagayaku NORTHERN STAR
"Kira made me feel different, although I was aware he was mentally broken after being used by a Natural girl called Fllay, if I don't remember it wrongly…but I didn't care. I didn't mind being a replacement, so long I could be there and nurse him back to who he was."
Lacus smiled.
"And in the end, my efforts were not in vain."
Kono mama zutto issho ni irareru to
Meyrin looked at Lacus in admiration.
-For someone she loves, she actually forks out so much…-
"Hawke- san, you have to understand that a relationship between Naturals and Coordinators are very rare. Despite knowing that, Athrun and Cagalli choose to show that it was not impossible, but Fate decided to play a cruel joke."
Mujaki ni shinjiteta
"What do you mean?" Meyrin asked.
"Cagalli had to leave because of her commitments to Orb, and Athrun had his own beliefs. This only served to widen the gap between them, a gap in which Cagalli had been trying to repair, but failing. The end result was that while they believed it was not impossible for the Naturals and Coordinators to hold relationships, but to the both of them, each had their own commitments to deal with. There was no way they could have gotten together."
"But even during the battle, they were so close…and Cagalli- sama…it was as though she was mocking me when she asked me to take care of Athrun…and look…!"
Kimi wo omoutte sagashita DUST TRAIL
"Because Cagalli trusted you."
Meyrin started.
Hashiri hajimaru SHINING RAY OF HOPE
"Cagalli knew that Athrun would be in good hands. That was why she asked you to care for him in her absence. Because she trusted you, Hawke- san. And that is why…the people of Orb, Coordinator or not, love her."
Lacus looked at Meyrin.
Towa no shiawase negatte inoru
"Because they know they have a future. You can't help but be jealous, like in the case of Shinn- kun and Stellar- san. You see someone so happy, but at the expense of someone else happiness. But you have to learn to adjust. Hawke- san, you can always find someone better. Someone that loves you whole- heartedly and not clinging on to the past."
In that instant, Meyrin felt dumb.
Akiramenai de michi wa kitto
It sounded so silly.
She was actually jealous of a person who had long departed.
Tatoe kimi ga zetsubou ni makesou ni nattemo
Kaeri wo matteru kara
It was silly, wasn't it?
As she watched Lacus walk away after saying her thanks and drying her tears,
Meyrin realized one thing.
Kiseki shinjite mitsuketa DUST TRAIL
Mirai wo hiraku SHINING RAY OF HOPE
It was okay to be jealous sometimes,
But the one who would suffer wasn't just the green- eyed monster.
Kimi no kotoba wo shinjite matsu yo
With that knowledge in mind,
Meyrin felt so much more ready to face her future.
Dakara kanarazu modotte kite
-Ganbatte…Meyrin- chan…and…-
Mune no oku ni yakitsuketa eien no MEMORY
-Thank you…for loving Athrun…-
Egao wo machi wabiteru
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A/N: # Bawls # I can't believe I finished this story…# Bawls # Anyway, just ignore me, I'm just getting rather emo…haha…this story has got to be one of my best…and this is so like the confirmed final chapter…!!! WAHH!!
Oh yes, if anyone wants to know, this music is "dust trail" by Hashimoto Miyuki.
Anyway, thanks goes to the following people…
Hades.Throne.Heiress: Your review really had me thinking hard, and honestly, I think I agree with what you said. Athrun did really love Cagalli to the point that he felt that he had become dangerous the minute he went back to ZAFT. But there's no denying…the gap had been there since the start of Destiny…oh well…TT…anyway, thanks for reviewing!!
ewngpwngh: Thanks for reviewing, hope you enjoy this chapter too!
3fi-pina3: My apologies, I hadn't intended to make anyone cry, honest…but anyway, thanks for reviewing!
LadyNightSky: Hmm…I don't think Athrun really went with Meyrin, as in the special for Destiny, it showed Athrun wearing the Orb uniform, so it may imply that Athrun and Cagalli still may have a chance together…oh well, let's just hope for it…
cherimai: Thanks for reviewing, I hope this chapter was up to your standard…or maybe not…TT
Athyra: Same here, I agree that the director is an idiot for pulling Cagalli and Athrun apart…# grump #, anyway, this chapter is dedicated to all the reviewers, including you…haha…oh yes, before I forget, may I say that one of your stories…"Shadow" I think, was really well- written? (I only saw it today…sorry about that, I've been cooped up with my work as of late…) I like the way you portray Athrun's relationship with Shinn and Alex…(I mean, Shinn giving Athrun help (in a way) is not something you see everyday…they were dead rivals in Destiny after all…talk about weird…XD)
Whoops, that review and thanks was a little too long…XD
Anyway, my thanks to all readers and reviewers once again, hope you enjoyed this chapter!!
As a side note, I will be starting on another story soon, only I don't know when I can upload it as a result of piling up schoolwork and such…TT…just a hint, has to do with # coughchibiscough #