Where do I belong?

A.N. Hello. I'm very, very sorry about the long wait, especially since I told you last time I would update soon. But many things happened and I was unable to update. I hope you guys haven't given up on this story yet. And thank you very much for your wonderful reviews. Now, enjoy.

Disclaimer: I do not own Gravitation or its characters. Please, do not sue me.

Chapter 13

Shuichi awoke in his and Yuki's bed, alone.

"Yuki...?" he whispered.

"Eiri's not here. He left. Remember?" said Tohma, sitting on the bed next to the younger boy.

"He left...?" asked an confused boy. Suddenly, he remember the events at the park.

"Where is he?"

"I don't know. I've been trying to contact him through is cell phone, but he doesn't answer it."

The pink-haired boy looked at the blond, tears in his eyes.

"Do you think... he's okay?"

"I don't know. He was very disturbed..."

"What if... what if he's hurt or something?"

"Then we would already know. Look Shuichi, don't worry. Eiri just needs time to think. Your little... revelation... was a bit of a shock to him."

Shuichi looked out the window.

"That's why I didn't want to say anything..."

Tohma looked at the boy intently. He seemed... lost.

"Shuichi, do you still love Eiri?"

The boy looked at the older man surprised.

"Of course I still love him!"

"You're not mad or disappointed or something?"

"No! Why should I?"

"Well, he hasn't been treating you very nicely, has he? You could be resented..."

"No, never! I love Yuki. And I always will. No matter what! I don't care if he hurts me. It's not like he knows what he's doing anyway..." he looked out the window again.

"I didn't want him to know... He didn't need to know..."

"Of course he needed to know! For what I understood, Eiri has a drinking problem. Not that he's an alcoholic, but he becames very violent when he drinks. He needed to know, or else he would keep drinking and hurting you."

"... I know... But now he's hurt..."

"Give him time. He needs to... adjust... to this reality."

After a few minutes of silence, Shuichi finally asked something he wanted to know for long time.

"Why don't you like me? I mean, why don't you want Yuki and I together?"

Tohma looked at Shuichi, surprise evident in his face.

"... I didn't think you were good enough for Eiri."

"'Didn't think'...?

"Now I know it doesn't matter what I think. Eiri needs you. I can see that now. I understood that when he found out you were a cutter and you were in the hospital. I thought he was just trying to annoy me since I was against your relationship, but finally I understood that he really needs you. He loves you."

"... Seguchi-san, I..."

"Look Shuichi, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for trying to brake you two apart. I'm sorry for everything I've ever done. Can you ever forgive me?"

"I don't have to forgive you. You were only trying to protect Yuki. Only, you were trying to protect him from the wrong person. I would never hurt Yuki, at least not on porpose. I'm not Kitazawa. I won't betray him."

"I know. I'm sorry Shuichi, I really am."

"I need to find him. I need to tell him it's okay. Can you help me find him?"

"Of course. I'll call a few people. We'll find him."

Tohma smiled, a real smile.

"I'll be right back. Try to rest."

"Okay."

Shuichi lied down. Tohma looked at the boy before leaving the room. He looked even smaller without Eiri by his side. No. He looked like he had lost part of himself. He needed to find Eiri quickly. They both needed each other right now.

--

After a few phone calls, Tohma went to Eiri's bedroom. Shuichi seemed to be asleep. He let the boy sleep. After all, he had been under a lot of stress. He needed to rest. He went back to the living room, sitting on the sofa.

He had called a few people and Eiri would soon been found. And hopefully, he would be alright. His cell phone began to ring.

"Hello Mika."

"Tohma, what happened?" Mika sounded disturbed.

"What do you mean?"

"Between Eiri and Shuichi."

"... How do you know something happened?"

"Because Eiri is here. And he looks totally lost."

"He's there?! Is he okay?"

"I don't think so. He locked himself in his room and hasn't spoke to anyone. I'm worried Tohma."

"... Okay, I'll tell you everything. You see, it seems Eiri has a drinking problem..."

--

Shuichi couldn't sleep. It didn't feel right without Yuki by his side. He needed his lover back. He went to look for Tohma, maybe he already knew something about Yuki's whereabouts. He opened the door and heard a phone ringing.

"Hello Mika."

'Yuki's sister?' Shuichi thought. 'Maybe she knows something...'

"What do you mean?"

"... How do you know something happened?"

"He's there?! Is he okay?"

'He's in Kyoto? I have to get there.'

The pink-haired boy closed the door and went back to the bedroom. He put a few things in a backpack and opened the door quietly. He didn't hear Tohma's voice so he closed the door just as quietly and slowly walked to the front door. He left unnoticed.

--

Sometime later, Tohma decided to check on Shuichi. The boy was no longer asleep.

"Shuichi? Are you in the bathroom?"

When he heard no answer, he walked into the bathroom. It was empty and covered and blood. At first, Tohma thought the boy had been cutting again but soon remembered that Eiri had told him the pink-haired boy had done it earlier. And, in fact, the blood was already dry. So, where was the disturbed boy?

--

Shuichi finally arrived to Kyoto. He had caught the train in Tokyo a few hours earlier. He needed to find Yuki. He hoped he had understood correctly and Yuki was in fact in his parents' house.

The small boy found it strange though. Yuki never went home. Especially not after the last time they had been there, when Shuichi's panic attacks had began. But, then again, his lover was disturbed, and when people are disturbed, they tend to do very strange things.

The temple was still a bit far and Shuichi had to walk to get there. But the thought of Yuki gave him strenghts to continue his "journey".

--

"He disappeared? How?"

"I don't know. I thought he was asleep. When I went to see if he was okay, he was no longer there."

"He didn't left a note or something?"

"No."

"He may have went to look for Eiri."

"That's my guess as well. And he's probably alright, but even so..."

"You're worried."

"... Yes."

"My, my. The great Tohma Seguchi worried about someone else other than his dear Eiri."

"You know I worry about you too."

"... I know. Even if you never seem to give a damn about me."

"... I'm sorry Mika. I know I haven't been a very good husband."

"Don't worry about that now. We'll talk later. Now, we have to help Eiri and Shuichi. They're the ones who need support."

"Very well. Don't tell Eiri about Shuichi's disappearence. He doesn't need to be even more disturbed."

"I agree. Call me when you have any news on Shuichi. Bye."

"Okay. Bye Mika."

--

Finally, Shuichi arrived at the temple. It was already night, so all the nights were on. He walked to the house. Everyone was probably there.

"Shuichi?! What the hell are you doing here?"

"Tatsuha? Is Yuki here?"

"Wha... Yeah, he's here. What the hell happened between you guys? Did you had a fight or something?"

"... No. Yuki... he found out something..."

"Something? Wait, don't tell me you cheated on him?"

"No! Of course not! I love Yuki and Yuki only! Look, I can't tell you right now. I have to talk to Yuki. Where is he?"

"... Okay. He's in his room. But he seems... upset. Sad, I would say."

Shuichi felt like he had a knot on his throat. He entered the house and went to Yuki's room.

"Shuichi?!"

"Hello Mika-san."

"Tohma was really worried about you!"

"... Oh, he was? I'm sorry. But I had to see Yuki."

"... I see. He's in his room."

"I know. Tatsuha told me. I'm going there now."

"Alright. Just tell me something. How did you know he was here?"

"I heard Seguchi-san talk to you on the phone..."

"I thought so. Go on then, I won't keep you anymore."

Shuichi bowed.

"Thank you, Mika-san."

He walked along the corridor and came to Yuki's bedroom door. He took a deep breath and knocked gently.

"I'm alive. Now go away. I don't want to see anyone." Yuki said on the other side of the door. He sounded hurt. Shuichi felt like crying. He opened the door and entered the door, closing the door right behind him.

"Look, I told you I-" Yuki stopped mid-sentence. He was expecting to see his sister or his brother, not his lover.

"Shuichi...? Wha... what are you doing here?"

"Yuki... I had to see you. I needed to make you understand."

"Understand what? That I'm a monster who has been hurting you?"

"No! That it is okay. That I don't care." He approached Yuki, kneeled in front of him and grabbed his hands.

"I'm not saying it wasn't hard for me to listen to you say all those things. Because, it was. More than the beatings or the rapes. But it's even harder not having you by my side. Yuki, I need you. Can't you see?"

Yuki looked into his lover's eyes. He was crying, just lie he was. He couldn't understand the pink-haired boy's attitude. He should be scared of him. He should be relieved that he was away. Yet, here he was, saying that he needed him.

"Shuichi... I... I need you too. I really do. But I can't stand the fact that I've hurt you."

"What's done is done. We can't turn back time and erase what happened. Besides, it's not like you did it on purpose. You were drunk. You didn't know what you were doing. It was a different you. And now that you know, you can stop drinking and it won't happen again."

"I... I don't know..."

"Please Yuki, don't leave me. I need you. I love you..." he kissed Yuki, putting his arms around his neck and letting his lover feel all the love he felt for the older boy. Yuki have into the kiss, totally lost in his lover's sweet flavour.

They broken apart a few minutes later.

"See? We belong together. It doesn't matter what happened. What really matters is the future. Our future. Together." The younger boy smiled, a true smile.

The blond smiled back. Maybe his small lover was right. He couldn't changed what had happened. But he could give Shuichi what he deserved for so long. His love. And maybe, one day, he could ask the pink-haired boy his forgiveness.

"I love you, Shuichi."

--

A.N. Please, let me know what you think. I'm kind of lost right now. And btw, I'm very sorry for all the spelling/grammar mistakes. English is not my native language and I don't have much time to correct the chapters. I feel really frustraded when I see I posted a chapter full of mistakes. Well, untill next time.

R&R! Thanks