Summary: He hadn't mentioned her for almost a year, but only God would know how much he thought about her.
Pairing: Kate and Tony
Disclaimer: I don't own a thing
A/N: This story comes with an alternate ending. The ending I would've wanted of course. But if you just want the little post ep, just read chapter 1. Please R&R.
Chapter 1- Bait
Tony DiNozzo let out a huge sigh and threw his cap on his desk, before flopping down in his chair. He ran his hand through his hair. It had been a long day. With Gibbs in the classroom, he had been left in charge. On top of that, he had been forced to tear up old wounds. Wound that he had tried to heal for a long time. Tony sighed again. It still affected him, and this case proved it. Tony still remembered that day, so clearly. The day he had lost her. The day he had to watch her laying on that roof, blood and life pouring out of her head. And this case had reminded him so much about her. Tony still didn't know why he had told Gibbs that Kate was working on finding Cody's mother. He could've told his boss in some other way without bringing Kate up, but in some way, he had. Tony remembered how he had snapped at the director Shepherd. He was still upset for letting Kate into his mind, he had to focus on the case. Then Ziva simply said that they should shoot Cody. With a "simple headshot". Once again, he was reminded about Kate and couldn't help but think that Ziva and her brother had the same way of thinking. A simple heartless headshot. Tony hadn't been able to order the to shoot Cody. He was just a kid. And Tony knew what a "simple headshot" could do to another person's life. It was fatal. Tony knew that a "simple headshot" wasn't something you got over so fast. No, a headshot pierced into you mind and painfully reminded you of its presence.
Tony was grateful for that the bullpen was empty, because he felt the tears that were running down his cheeks. He didn't bother to wipe them away; he knew more tears would fall. He often cried over Kate, even though he would never admit that to anyone. Not even to Abby. Late nights, he allowed himself to remember her. To miss her and regret that he never told her those three little words. Tony knew he should let it go, to let her go. But he couldn't. He couldn't stop going on in his mind what he could have done different. Tony spotted Ziva by the elevator and quickly wiped his tears and then tried to pretend that he was busy with the file in front of him. Ziva just shot him a glance, not knowing what to think. She had never heard any of them mention Kate Todd before. Especially not Tony. Of course Gibbs briefed her about what had happened, when she started working on the team, but nothing else. But now, she knew that Kate had meant much more than she expected. Especially to Tony. Ziva had never seen him like this. He tried to focus on the file but she could tell from the redness in his eyes, that it was something else that was bugging him. After a few minutes, Tony couldn't stand the silence anymore so he grabbed his coat and made a beeline for the elevator. In a faint attempt to make him talk Ziva called after him:
"Where are you going?"
"To visit Kate" was all he said before stepping into the elevator.
And that's just what he did. He drove straight to Arlington Cemetery. He hadn't been there for almost a year. Yeah, it was almost a year since she died. More tears threatened behind his lids but he did his best to blink them away. After a while of driving he pulled up at the empty parking lot. Stepping out of his car he made his way through the gates. Even if he'd just been here once before, he knew they way to her grave. Even if it was dark, it was no problem for him to find her. Exhausted from the days events, he sunk down on his knees in front of her headstone.
"Hey, Kate" he mumbled, unsure what to say. "Sorry for not…showing up earlier" And there he sat, for almost an hour. Talking to her, telling her about today's case. When he got up to leave he turned around and whispered:
"I love you, Kate" Then he took off towards his car to go back home.