Canine Affinity

Warning: Not for people who don't like to see two boys romantically involved... Rated PG-13 for a few vague allusions in later chapters. Oh, and, although it can be read independently, this story is kind of the second part of the Lily/James I wrote before (Change of Heart). If you wish to read that as well, it would be logical to do it before reading this (however, I must tell you that the first chapter at least is full of awkward sentences - I noticed when I translated it into French but I haven't had time to rewrite it yet).

Summary: The Marauders' seventh year. James spends so much time with Lily that Sirius feels abandoned by his best friend. Remus does his best to distract Sirius from his jealousy and, as they become closer, gradually finds out he likes him "just a little too much". Is that because he can't trust anyone but his three friends, who know his secret and accept him just the way he is? And maybe also because of his animal part, that goes along so well with Sirius's - because of that "canine affinity," as Sirius refers to it jokingly... In short, Remus asks himself a lot of questions, when Sirius just acts and talks without thinking the best part of the time. Maybe they're not made for each other but...maybe they are.

Disclaimer:

As you all know, Mrs J. K. Rowling is the highly talented author who
created the characters I borrowed to write this.
And since no one would be stupid enough to pay for this
when I'm publishing it here, where anyone can read whatever they want for free,
you're bound to have guessed I'm not making any money, aren't you ?

Thank yous:

To Maggie, who corrected my grammar mistakes and pointed out my awkward wordings.

And to Arca, who made very good suggestions to improve this chapter.

Dedication:

To Akari, my Italian friend, who wrote very good Sirius/Remus stories in Italian,
available (as well as their French versions, made by me) on her website (see my profile for a link).

And to Nicky, my "near twin" sister, who has always imagined with me lots of stories like this one.

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A loud exclamation echoed in the dormitory, waking Remus up with a start.

He didn't even wonder who had screamed or why he had; the voice was definitely Sirius's, and Remus didn't need explanations to guess that "What? Again?!" meant that James was planning to meet Lily sometime during the day and that Sirius thought it happened too often. Nothing new. Sirius had been complaining about that for weeks - more exactly since Halloween, that's to say a little more than a month ago already.

Just like Remus was expecting, James asked, "What's wrong with that?" Sirius's sharp reply was not long in coming.

"You're letting us down, Prongs, that's what's wrong! You're letting us down for a girl!"

It was true, in a way. James did spend much more time with Lily that he had ever done with any other girl, and consequently, his friends saw him rather rarely outside classes. But Remus would never have thought of blaming him for that. It seemed quite normal to him, and he knew James wouldn't let him down for what was really important. Prongs would never be missing on a full moon night, and that was the only proof of friendship that Moony needed from him.

However, Sirius's reaction was understandable as well. He and James had always been closer to each other than to Remus or Peter. In what Remus mentally called the Marauders family, Prongs and Padfoot were like twins - inseparable, and so used to sharing everything with their alter ego that joys didn't taste half as good and pains felt twice worse if some unlucky circumstance took them part at the wrong moment. So now that one of them was in love, it was just logical that the other one felt betrayed, because it meant that, for the first time, another person had at least as much importance to James as Sirius had. If Sirius could only realize how hard it must be for James to see his happiness partly ruined by that constant complaints!

Remus drew slightly aside the right curtain of his four-poster bed and stretched out a hand toward the bedside table to take his watch. Not even nine o'clock yet. Much too early to get up on a Saturday morning...

He put the watch back on the bedside table and picked up the book he had started reading the night before.

Remus was so used to reading in the common room, always full of chatting people, that his friends' conversations wouldn't normally have bothered him at all. But this time, for some reason, he couldn't concentrate properly. He had to read again the first sentences of chapter 7, then some others a little lower on the page. No good! Half of his mind persisted in listening to Sirius and James, in spite of the other half's will to ignore their talking.

Of course, when Sirius had blamed James for letting his friends down for a girl, James had replied hotly that Lily wasn't just some girl. Then he had launched into a very long speech about how wonderful she was, and although the curtains stopped him from seeing Sirius's expression, Remus could easily picture it. Without any doubt, Sirius was rolling his eyes - just like he used to do, in first and second year, when Remus hadn't yet given up explaining why he enjoyed reading more than anything in the world.

"Prongs, you're sounding like one of my gran's ridiculous mushy books!"

"I am not! And how would you know, anyway? Have you read them?"

Remus muffled a giggle. His own grandmother liked "ridiculous mushy books," too. And he'd better remember never to tell Sirius or James that he had borrowed one from her once - only because he was bored and hadn't found anything else to read. Still, his friends would make fun of him forever if they knew!

"Of course I haven't!" Sirius was now replying to James. "Unless you count the parts I read aloud three years ago to let my mother and aunt know about Narcissa's passion for romantic and slightly erotic stories..."

They both burst out laughing, and Remus start reading again, smiling. He had dreaded that they might argue seriously, but now it seemed that all danger had passed.

A minute later, though, he wasn't so sure anymore. They were talking about Lily again, and just by the sound of Sirius's voice, Remus could tell that James would never succeed in making him listen to reason.

"It's not that I don't like her, it's just that I don't like you being with her all the time."

Actually, Sirius had told Remus and Peter he couldn't stand "that bloody girl," but he seemed to have enough good sense left to avoid repeating that in front of James.

"It feels like you're not talking to me anymore," Sirius complained without even giving James time to respond.

"Well, I'm talking to you now, aren't I?"

"Oh, yes - about her!"

Now Sirius was surely rolling his eyes again, then crossing his arms like a sulky little kid, and James was frowning, disconcerted and probably a little worried about what he surely considered an inexplicable overreaction. Remus couldn't have seen them better if the curtains had been transparent... He had never really thought about this before, but he did know these boys more than he had ever known anyone, including his parents. Was that normal? Would everyone be able to say with such certainty the way their friends would look when annoyed, puzzled, worried, anxious, furious, depressed, delighted…? Probably not...

Remus sighed. His mother might have been right, after all, the day when she had told him he was letting his friends take up too much space in his life. He had assumed that she was saying so because she was upset at the increasing lack of enthusiasm he showed every time he had to return home for the holidays, but suddenly he suspected that there was another reason. And, although he still didn't agree, he finally understood what was worrying her; he had laid all his trust and affection in these boys who had proved he could count on them, and now he was withdrawing into the reassuring shell of their friendship, refusing to even consider the possibility of letting someone else enter his little world...

Yes, that was, Remus guessed, the cause of his mother's concern. Three boys, no girl...so no chance for him to have a "normal" life someday, unless she could make him see the necessity of being a little more open to the people around. But why did she care that much?

"I don't need a girlfriend! I need my friends! Is that so difficult to understand?"

Sirius was only continuing his more and more animated conversation with James, who had just advised him to go out with some girl while he was with Lily, but his words had expressed Remus's thoughts so exactly that it was almost frightening.

Or maybe it was comforting, all things considered. At least Sirius would not try to convince him he should find himself a girlfriend, too. Not that James had said anything of that kind to him yet, but it was very likely to happen someday. As for Peter... Peter had always envied James, and this time he obviously would more than ever. So he would not understand Remus either.

Dating Lily Evans, the fantastic Head Girl with wonderful green eyes and beautiful dark red hair... Remus knew he should envy James, too. Maybe not as much as Peter did, but it would have been more normal than deciding he would never have a girlfriend, not only because of the secret she would be bound to discover sooner or later but also simply because he didn't feel like having one.

Or was that a lie? Remus stopped to think seriously about it for some moments and concluded that no, really, it wasn't a lie. He just couldn't imagine himself dating a girl, and now he wondered if Sirius could. It was quite a strange question to ask, since Sirius was so different from him – so good-looking and aware of it, so perfectly at ease in every circumstance and with no dark secret to hide. And yet he never seemed to notice all the girls who were so obviously longing for a date with him. He had taken a few girls out from time to time in the past two years, but only because James would fix up dates for him with the friends of his own girlfriends.

"Girls can look great and kissing them is nice, but how am I supposed to spend hours with one of them without getting bored since they can't talk about anything that interest me and vice versa?" he once had asked James.

And, judging by what he was saying now, he hadn't changed his mind since then.

"You see her every day. How can you still find anything to tell her? She doesn't even like Quidditch!"

"Actually, she does as long as I'm not bragging about my extraordinary talent," James corrected, emphasizing the last words in an amusing way – then he added, laughing, "So, yes, I usually avoid the argument."

Remus smiled. He really appreciated James's new attitude. It couldn't exactly be called modesty, of course, but there was a great improvement. Instead of insisting on his gifts, he had started making fun of his tendency to look too proud of himself, and Remus knew it was all thanks to Lily.

Sirius, however, didn't seem to care. And he certainly wasn't smiling when he commented, "Just like I thought – you can't even talk about what you like most!"

James sighed, and so did Remus, because he had always liked Lily and was now convinced that she and James were meant to be together, so he wished Sirius would show a little more comprehension.

"It doesn't matter what we're talking about," James tried to explain again. "It doesn't even matter if we're not saying anything for a while. Just being with her makes me happy. I know you can't understand now, but I'm sure you will, someday. Just wait until you find the right girl... You'll no longer wonder what to talk about and you'll want to be with her all the time, believe me!"

This time it was Sirius's turn to sigh. But his was a sigh of irritation, quickly followed by an outburst of anger.

"Will you ever understand that, since I've got no Lily Evans to make me forget about my best friends, the only person I want to be with is you?"

"Padf-" James began.

But the door of the dormitory slammed before he could say anything more, and Remus heard him giving another sigh.

"What happened?" asked a sleepy voice coming from the bed at the right of Remus's.

Peter was known for always sleeping so soundly that no noise could disturb him, so James, ignoring the question, remarked that he and the others should remember to try slamming the door next time their friend didn't hear the alarm clock – that's to say next Monday, in all probability.

He sounded amused, but Remus guessed he was only pretending to be, in the hope that Peter wouldn't insist to be told why Sirius had left the room with such an evident manifestation of bad mood.

Suddenly, Remus felt terribly indiscreet. He had overheard every word of the quarrel and never thought of letting the others know he was awake... Nothing of what they had said was a secret but still, he wasn't supposed to have heard...

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In the next few days, Remus remembered the conversation every time he saw Sirius glancing at James and Lily with an annoyed expression. And, inevitably, the echo of Sirius's words made him feel sad.

The only person I want to be with is you...

He knew it was stupid. Sirius hadn't meant to say he didn't care about his other friends. He did, it was undeniable. Remus could have doubted it in first year, when they hadn't known each other very well yet and when Sirius had regarded him as a rather boring model student who didn't know what having real fun meant, but not now - not after the Animagus transformations that had changed his life forever. That crazy idea had been Sirius's, and he certainly wouldn't have thought of that if he didn't care about Remus.

Even the new doubts caused by the Whomping Willow incident were now history. Remus had been very upset at first, of course, but then he had understood that Sirius had just talked without thinking one time too many. Snape had been so convincing in pretending he had just found out everything that, at the time, daring the annoying Slytherin to press the knot of the tree trunk and go have a look if he was brave enough didn't seem more harmful than a simple, ordinary mockery. So Remus had forgiven and forgotten, not even letting Sirius reach the end of his apologies.

Really, he had absolutely no reason to doubt Sirius's friendship again.

They're like twins, he repeated to himself for the hundredth time of the week. It's normal that Sirius likes James more than me.

Yet it was a little hurtful... Which seemed rather illogical. After all, Sirius was not the only one who thought James was the best of the Marauders group. Lots of people did, beginning with Peter, who had been admiring him since their first flying lesson. Then an incalculable number of girls from first to seventh year – and some that had already left school, too. Even Lily Evans, who had claimed for years she couldn't stand him, was now under his charm...

Actually, Remus himself tended to think that James was the leader of the Marauders. They were all supposed to be equal, but in practice James and Sirius had kind of ascended on the other two, a little like older brothers, because Remus was the one they had to protect from the other students' curiosity and Peter the one they had to help with social skills, as well as homework. Obviously, both of them were natural leaders. However, James had more sense of organisation and capacity of reflection, which explained why Remus would pick him rather than Sirius if he were asked who would be more worthy of the title of "Head Marauder."

In short, James really was the best of them all, especially now that Lily had succeeded in curbing his oversized ego.

And if you think Sirius should like you as much as he likes him, you are becoming pretentious! Remus admonished himself as a conclusion.

Then he sank more comfortably into the cushions of the couch and turned back to the book he still hadn't managed to finish reading. Too much homework... And too many distracting thoughts in his head.

It was late, so most of the Gryffindor students had already left the common room. Remus had stayed because he wanted to read another chapter, and Sirius, who had at first declared he would keep him company, had spent about twenty minutes walking up and down the fireside carpet before deciding he might as well wait for James in the dormitory.

Actually, he had never said clearly he was waiting for James, but Remus knew he was. A new idea for a prank had come into his mind earlier in the evening, and in spite of Peter's attempts to get Sirius to give details, he had refused to talk about it. Then, as the time went by, his irritation had become more and more obvious.

Remus was now alone and yet, once again, he couldn't concentrate on his book. He wished he could do something to prevent another quarrel, but he doubted that any intervention on his part would be useful

Too deep in his thoughts to notice that the portrait hole had been opened then closed silently, Remus was completely taken by surprise when an invisible hand coming from behind his back grabbed the book he was still holding in front of his eyes although he hadn't really looked at it for several minutes.

He surely jumped as high as his attacker was expecting him to do, but next second he had already turned round and taken the book back.

"Wow! Good reflexes, Moony! You could be a Seeker too!"

The invisibility cloak slid, revealing James's beaming face, as well as Lily's not-so-straight one.

"Sorry, Remus. I know I should have stopped him, but he didn't let me time to think," the red-haired girl said in a tone that didn't sounded any sorrier than her face looked.

"I just beckoned her to stay quiet and she obeyed!" James explained – and his eyes filled with malicious sparkles as he commented, "I wish Padfoot were as well-trained as she is!"

Remus laughed, but, of course, Lily didn't. Her indignant look reminded Remus of the pre-Halloween period, and he saw that James wondered whether he had gone too far.

"Don't you ever dare talking about me that way again, Potter!" Lily scolded, apparently furious.

But then she laughed too and added, "I love to scare you!"

"I wasn't scared!" James protested, as shocked as if that accusation was the most offensive thing one could told him. "Only bewitched, because you look so beautiful when you're angry."

"Does that mean I'm ugly when I'm not angry?" Lily asked, frowning.

James rolled his eyes heavenwards, then closed them for an instant in an expression of feigned despair before turning to Remus, pretending to need help:

"I really thought she wasn't clever enough to get the hidden meaning of my compliment... What do you think? Reassuring lie or cruel truth?"

Although he was used to being involved more or less against his will in his friends' mutual teasing, Remus didn't expect James to ask for his opinion in a mock fight with Lily, and it made him quite ill at ease.

What would Sirius say? he asked himself automatically. Then he realized it was stupid because, lately, Sirius's sense of humour seemed to vanish all at once as soon as Lily's name was mentioned.

"Why don't you tell her she's beautiful no matter what?" he suggested eventually, giving up the idea of being funny. "And you can make it more poetic, talking about how not only anger but every feeling of hers makes her eyes shine like emeralds catching sunlight or how the colour of her hair reminds you of the flames that are burning for her in your- What?"

Both Lily and James were staring at him, looking rather astonished, and Remus's embarrassment suddenly reached such a point that he guessed the flames he had just mentioned now seemed to be burning under the skin of his cheeks.

"Okay, it horribly lacks originality," he mumbled hastily, "but, you know, I'm not very good at talking to girls and..."

"You're surely way better than he is!" Lily said with a gesture of her head in James's direction. "You heard him. He's awful!"

Not knowing her as well as he knew his friends, Remus first thought she might be serious. But then she smiled at James, who smiled back...and he felt completely out of place.

He was already on the second step of the staircase, on his way to retire discreetly so they could say goodnight in private, when James called him back.

"Wait! I've got to talk to you."

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Hope you liked this start. Next chapter in a week.

P.S. I love comments and will reply to everyone...