Chapter 4
"Spike?" slowly, Buffy opened the crypt door. He was there, lying down on the couch staring at the TV.
"Spike I brought some blood for you."
The vampire tried to smile, but gave up. "Thanks, just put it in the fridge for me luv, I'm not hungry right now."
It had been two weeks since the incident when Spike almost burnt up. When Buffy almost killed him. Most of his burns had faded and were almost gone, but he was still recovering.
He was as handsome as ever. But what got to Buffy most was that now he barely ever spoke, hardly ever said anything. He just stared at the TV. Whenever she brought over some blood for him he would avoid looking at her, and when he did, there was such pain in his eyes that Buffy was forced to look away. It seemed that not only had she burned him on the outside, but scarred him on the inside as well.
Buffy stood watching Spike stare at the TV. She hated the way she was feeling. She had messed up her life and Spike's as well, more than she could ever imagine. All she wanted to do was run to him and feel his arms around her. She wanted the normal Spike back. She wanted the one who always had something to say even if it was only to annoy her. She wanted him to be his usual cocky and arrogant but also tender and sweet self. The one she had known before.
It seemed that he had never really been happy for a long time. Even when Buffy used to come to him late at night, she knew that somehow he knew she was using him. She had thought it wasn't right, and it wasn't right it was so very, very wrong. She had been forcing Spike to act like an animal, all rough and violent, but he could be so much more. Buffy had forgotten that. And maybe that's why everything had been so screwed up in the first place.
It was because of the way Buffy had treated Spike. Taking things out on him just because he was there. Treating him like dirt because he loved her, and she was scared.
Buffy had messed this up and every other relationship she had been in. The others left but Spike wouldn't, she knew.
Buffy had admitted to herself that she loved Spike, all of him. She loved him so much it was painful and she had loved him for a long time with out even realizing it.
And now, Spike hadn't left Buffy but here he was and he was unhappy. Buffy knew she would never be happy until he was too. She loved him sooo much, but now after all she had done, the past years of treating him like scum and then this last straw of leaving him to burn, did Spike still love her? How could he?
Buffy walked to Spike. She held his hand in hers. "Spike . . . do you love me?" She looked into his eyes searching for the truth.
"I love you Buffy, you know I do." He answered, but turned his head away.
It wasn't enough.
Buffy kissed his forhead and walked away with grim determination.
She was not going to mess up her last chance at a relationship.
A few more weeks passed, and Buffy visited Spike everyday, bringing him blood. He talked to her a bit more, but his eyes were still filled with sadness. Buffy's heart ached for him.
Finally one night she knocked at the door to his crypt. Spike opened it, surprised that she had bothered to knock. On the outside, he was completely healed now, no scars no pealing skin, cuts or burns. Buffy could almost pretend that she had never left him in the sun.
Almost.
But she would never forget. It was her fault and she was going to make things right from now on. Taking his hand, she asked, "Can we talk?"
Spike simply nodded, and they went and sat down on the couch. Buffy took a deep breath, and then she began:
"A lot of things have happened over the five years I have known you, Spike. We have been through a lot together, and you have done a lot for me. In return I have not really treated you well at all. Maybe that's because at first, I didn't know you, the real you, but also because I was scared. I wanted to make you think that when I looked at you all I saw was a demon like the ones I kill every night. But you have always been much more than that. The other demons don't have personalities, well not that I know of, that's why it's so much easier killing them.
I don't know why you loved me, but I want to find out more about you. Not just about the man in you Spike, but the demon as well. There is so much to you, and even though you are a demon, without a soul, I know there is goodness still inside.
So if you can, I'm willing to try, I want us to forget about the past, I want you to forget about everything I have said and done, because I accept you as a vampire Spike and I accept you as a man. If we can put the past behind us, and you are still interested in me . . . then I would like it if we, you and me, like any ordinary couple went on a date."
Buffy had never seen as many emotions in someone's eyes as there were in his at that moment. She swallowed nervously. What if he said no?
Spike was speechless. He opened and closed his mouth, and finally found his voice.
"I never stopped –," his voice cracked "loving you Buffy, I –."
"Don't say that – just tell me, tell me will you go out with me?"
"Yes! Hell yes!"
"Ill see ya then," Buffy smiled and walked out the door.
Spike jumped high into the air and punched it with his fist like a high school boy after his first date. "Yeeeessssssssssssssss! The slayer wants me! Oh she wants me bad!"
Dawn, Willow, and Xander were sitting around the table playing card games when Buffy came down the stairs.
She was wearing a long, soft, pale pink dress that had thin straps, hugged her around the waist and then flowed around her ankles. She had a handbag to match, and her hair was in a French twist with little pearl clips decorating it. She had on just a touch of makeup, but her face was flushed with her own excitement.
"Buffy!" They all exclaimed. "Where are you going?"
Buffy smiled. She had made a decision. She was going to tell everyone about her and Spike. She would scream it from the rooftops if she had to. She wasn't ashamed anymore at all, and she wasn't afraid to be happy.
"I have a date."
"A date?" Willow and Xander gasped.
"Yeah I know, it's been way to long." Buffy beamed at her friends.
"Who is it Buffy? Who is it?" shrieked Dawn.
Buffy wiggled her eyebrows, "You'll just have to wait and find out."
As soon as she said this there was a knock at the door. Tingling in anticipation, Buffy opened it.
"Good evening Buffy. You look stunning." Spike gave her the rose he held in his hand and leaned forward to softly kiss her cheek. Buffy giggled, "You look amazing too, Spike."
Spike had gotten dressed up in a black tux and bowtie. He looked stunningly handsome and alive. Slowly Buffy turned around.
Willow was gaping.
Xander looked like her was trying to decided whether to be shocked or angry.
Dawn just looked happy.
Xander broke the silence with a shriek, "Willow! Has one of your spells backfired again?"
Walking up to him and looking into his eyes Buffy asked, "Xander, do you want me to be happy?"
"Of course I do – but Spike, he's a vampire!"
Buffy shook Xander a bit, wanting him to understand. " Spike makes me happy, it shouldn't matter what he is! Love is blind! Now are you going to support me, or turn your back on me?"
Xander didn't have to think about it long. He sighed, "If this is what you want to do, then I'll learn to live with it." Buffy hugged Xander. Over her shoulder he saw Spike smirking.
Xander gave a nod to the Vampire. "How's it going evil dead boy?"
Spike was all right for a demon. Willow seemed to have accepted it and Dawn was mumbling something like " It's about time she came to her senses."
"Shall we go then?" Buffy asked Spike. Smiling a charming smile and linking his arm through hers he lead her to his car and surprised Buffy by opining the door for her. Aww what a gentleman.
This was the best night of her life, and Buffy never wanted it to end. The two had eaten at this nice restaurant chatting about anything and everything and feeding each other food. Spike was so easy to get on with and the more Buffy found out about him the more she loved him.
When they finished eating, Buffy shyly allowed Spike to lead her to the dance floor. A slow song was playing, and Spike slipped his arms around her, resting his hands lightly on the small of her back. Buffy wrapped her arms around his neck and rested her head on his shoulder, closing her eyes, lost in the sensation of being in his arms, and slowly swaying to the music.
Spike could hear Buffy's heart beating and it almost felt like his own. Never in his wildest dreams would he have thought Buffy would have ever wanted to go out on a date with him! He felt like a human again and for the first time in a long time he felt needed. For ages there had been an emptiness inside him, and a loneliness that would not go away. But now, this golden girl was filling up all those spaces, making him whole again.
There was just one space that had yet to be filled. Spike was scared that this was all to good to be true. What if she just felt guilty? What if she got board with him, and left him? She didn't love him did she? Spike needed to know, but he would not say anything, he already felt as if he was getting was more than he deserved.
They danced on and on. Sometimes kissing, sometimes whispering sweet words in each others ears, but most of the time just staring into each others eyes.
Buffy couldn't help smiling, and laughing. She felt like a giggly teenager in love, it felt so good and yet it was so much more than that. Buffy felt as if Spike was the one person she had been looking for her whole life. She knew he was whom she wanted to spend the rest of it with.
"It's getting late. I better drive you home and then get to my ol' crypt before the sun comes out to play." Spike hated for this night to end. There was nothing more that he wanted to do than be with her right now. And forever.
"This has been the best night of my life Buffy." God, he sounded like his poofy grandsire.
"Mine too."
They were walking to the car, hand in hand when Buffy stopped and faced him.
"Spike, I want to be with you."
Spike stopped too, and looked at her, hope filling his eyes.
"Spike . . . I booked a hotel room for the night. Will . . . you, I mean you don't have to but . . . will you stay with me?"
Spike swept her up into his arms and kissed her with a fierce passion that left them both breathless.
"I'll take that as a yes," Buffy laughed.
Alone together in the hotel room, Buffy smiled shyly at Spike.
Scented candles cast a gentle glow around the room and the heady smell of sandalwood filled her nose. She walked slowly over to Spike and they stood in front of the Queen sized bed.
"Spike", Buffy whispered. "Make love to me."
His eyes glazed over in desire and she slipped her hands under his jacket, pushing it slowly down his arms feeling the hard muscles. She started to remove her dress but Spike stopped her.
"Let me." He turned her around, letting her hair lose and slipping the thin straps of her dress over her shoulders so very slowly.
Buffy gasped as her dress fell to the ground and she was left in only a pair of pink satin panties that were already sopping wet with her desire.
Turning her around again, Spike picked her up, and then lay her gently on her back on the bed. Her heartbeat quickened as he trailed kisses up her thigh.
It had never been like this before; it was always over in a second. Buffy had never really given him a chance. Spike wanted to show her how much he loved her and he wanted to make this last. Continuing to kiss up her legs, then skipping that certain area, he went on to her belly kissing a circle around her navel then moving up to her breasts.
Spike swirled his tongue around her nipples and listened to Buffy breathing heavily.
He removed his shirt and she ran her hands over his back feeling his strong muscles ripple beneath her touch. Spike's hands moved to her panties and hovered around the top. He looked at her then slowly, slowly pulled them down her legs, as Buffy squirmed in anticipation.
When she was completely naked, her looked down at her. "Your beautiful, you know that? I could sit here all day and just look at you."
Buffy blushed and Spike lowered his head.
Lower, lower . . . . . . .
When nothing happened, Buffy looked down at the blond head between her thighs. And that's when his pointy read tongue lashed out and liked her like a cat. Buffy's body jerked hard and she let out a low, loud moan. Spike continued, licking her from top to bottom, tasting her juices. He slid two fingers inside her, moving in and out.
"Yes, yes, ohhhh yesss!"
Spike watched her face as waves of pleasure rolled over it. She was so very beautiful to him.
"Yes Spike, keep going, and don't stop, oh god! I'm so close baby, so close I'm going to-,"
At this point Spike added a third finger.
"Spiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiike!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Buffy screamed as her orgasm came hard and she knew that more would come.
It was like there first time together. It was like the first orgasm she had ever had. Everything else was forgotten and Buffy had never felt this way before. Her love for Spike was scorching her; it was stronger than anything she had ever faced. She needed him inside her. But first –
With slayer strength Buffy flipped Spike onto his back and unbuckled his belt.
Spike watched as she removed his pants."Buffy -?"
"Your beautiful too." She told him.
His breath caught in his thought when her hot hand came in contact with his cool skin.
She gripped his cock tightly, burning it and bringing her hand from base, down to the tip.
Buffy was nervous. She had never done this before, but she wanted to please him.
His eyes widened as Buffy boldly moved her hand up and down over his large, rock hard cock, though apparently she decided it wasn't enough and replaced her hand by her mouth.
He nearly passed out. Her mouth was so hot. She moved up and down her hand caressing his balls increasing the sensation. Spike made the mistake of looking down and almost came just from the sight of her cheeks sunken in, her full red lips wrapped around him, sucking, licking, milking…. oh god.
"Buffy – luv- stop – I'm – gonna – cum."
But she kept on at it.
Spike was worried she would be disgusted if he came in her mouth and he tried to push her head away but she wouldn't let him. He couldn't hold back anymore.
"Bufffffffffffffffy!!!!!!" he roared as the orgasm ripped through him.
Buffy swallowed all that he gave.
When Spike lay back and closed his eyes, Buffy crawled up onto him. "You taste so good," she purred licking her lips in appreciation. Instantly Spike was as hard as a rock again. They kissed and ground their hips together.
"Spike I need you."
Spike flipped Buffy over so he was on top once more. He positioned himself at her entrance and stared down at her intensely. When their eyes locked, Buffy said the last thing he imagined he would ever hear coming from her rosy red lips.
"I love you."
Unable to stop it, a tear ran down his face. Was it true? Could it possibly be true? But looking into her eyes told him everything, the love that filled them . . . it was all for him.
"Spike why are you crying?"
"They are tears of happiness. I love you Buffy, god I love you so much."
Then Buffy found herself crying too as she kissed him, their tears mingling.
Spike entered her then and for a moment neither could move… then as one, they moved together, Buffy lifting her hips and Spike thrusting in and out of her. It was slow at first and as they looked deep into each other's eyes. Buffy had never felt so close to anyone before. She felt as if her soul was his as well.
Beginning to move faster, Buffy's clit got bumped with each thrust. Her nails scratched down his back and he growled sending violent shivers through her.
It was building, building.
Spike knew they were both so close.
Buffy turned her head exposing the soft flesh of her neck to him.
"Spike, your chip doesn't work on me, do it please." She panted.
What was she saying? She couldn't mean –
"Please…"
"No, Buffy-"
"Please! Spike please, mark me as yours."
Spike tried to stop it but his demon face had already emerged.
"Please, I want to be yours, truly yours."
Spike thought his heart had started beating again. Buffy felt a slight sting as his sharp fangs pierced her flesh, and then only wave after wave of pleasure. Her orgasm was so close.
Spike pulled away his human face back in place.
"Spike –."
"Buffy -."
The explosion came. Buffy screamed loud enough to shatter windows and Spike came right with her as they both saw stars.
When her eyes focused again Buffy looked up at the beautiful vampire on top of her.
"I'm yours." She said breathing heavily.
"And I'm yours." He panted back.
When Spike slowly moved of her and rolled to the side, they both felt the pain of being separated after being so close. Spike pulled her as close as he could wrapping his arms protectively around her. He knew what she needed to hear.
"Buffy, I won't leave you. Not ever. I will stay with you, by your side forever, protecting you, loving you."
Buffy smiled and her heart swelled. "I'll never leave you Spike. I love you. Forever." She paused, "And Spike? I'm so sorry it took me so long to come to my senses, I think I could have avoided a lot of pain if I had realised I had been honest with myself and realised I loved you sooner."
Spike smiled, "It doesn't matter Buffy, that's in the past now, and going through the pain was worth it to get where we are now."
Content in each other's arms, the slayer and vampire drifted off to sleep.
Thank you for reading :) Hope you liked my story, I actually wrote this quite a while ago, when I first watched As You Were…I hated the ending of that episode and decided to write my own :P Its much nicer for Spike isn't it :)