So i have to tell you this story is absolotuly cracking up my beta readers so that gives me every assurance that you guys are gunna like it too.

So Beta as always will be the beautiful Nacht who does great work.

As for the rest just enjoy

Illustrations of You

Chapter one: Dare me

Sakura sat next to Naruto in the booth and tried to count the coins spilled across the counter. They had been here nearly all night and she was getting just the slightest bit tipsy, She giggled at that thought and caught herself slumping to the side and righted herself by pushing off of Naruto's shoulder. It was Choji's birthday and while the party wasn't that hopping it was fun, the birthday parties were getting pretty tame the se days no longer the wild bashes they were even a year ago. You turn 24 and life just seems to catch up with you. She squinted at one slightly bent coin before turning her ear to what Naruto had been saying for the last half hour.

"So this girl was like REALLY crazy! She started taking of her clothes right there in the park!" He pounded on the table to emphasize his point making all their cups jump on the table.

"Shyea right Naruto," Kiba slurred craning his head around to look at the girls gathered around the table in the corner, "What do you think they are doing over there?"

"You mean you don't know?! They are doing interviews for the new Miss Konoha for this year's Shinobi Illustrated." Naruto said loudly drawing the attention of everyone nearby, causing more men to nearly break their necks trying to stare at the corner.

"That's just dumb! What kind of self respecting kunoichi would do something like that?" Sakura gulped as she tossed fiery liquid down her throat and glared at an oblivious Kiba.

"Well you know some girls are chocolate and uh…some girls are just vanilla." Naruto humphed and reached for the sake bottle.

Sakura turned her attention back to him and raised an eyebrow "What do you mean by that?"

"Well like you, you're vanilla. You date vanilla guys and from what I hear you have vanilla sex. When you go to the ice cream store Vanilla is what you pick when nothing else seems better, 'cause vanilla is safe and never dares to do anything really crazy." He rubbed the back of his head while Sakura just stared at him.

"Yeah I know what your talking about, Vanilla girls are the kind of girls who only like to have missionary sex and would rather stay home and cuddle than get naked in the park." Kiba chimed in, heads around the table nodded in patent understanding.

"I am NOT vanilla!" Sakura screeched and tried to wack Naruto on the back of the head and missed.

"You so are! I mean come on, when was the last time you did anything really crazy? When was the last time you dated a guy just cause the sex was good, or you had such loud sex that the people next door had to bang on the walls to get you to quiet down?" Ino chimed in her two cents from Chouji's lap "I mean, you won't even have sex on the couch cause you don't want to stain it."

"That's not true! We did and it took me forever to…"

"That's not the point, girls who stop in the middle of sex 'cause someone got a little champagne stain on the couch are SO vanilla." Ino shot back at her.

"It's an expensive couch! I had to save forever to buy the couch and who would want to lick champagne of someone anyway!" She hotly protested.

"See!-"

"I think you just proved our point," Kiba smirked and dodged the napkin thrown at him for interrupting Ino.

"Hey! You keep saying you aren't. I've got a great way to prove it! Why don't you go over there and try out" The whole table perked up at Naruto's suggestion and started nodding their heads shouting encouragement at her.

"No way! Plus it would totally blow my cover!" She protested, starting to panic as she saw the inevitable coming her way.

"What cover? You're a medical jounin Sakura, people keep coming here asking for you…officially consider your cover blown." Ino laughed, enviously remembering all the clients who came in asking for Sakura specifically; who was well know for her ability to pull back even the worst from the brink of death, a rumor that had caused quite a bit of heartache to those looking for miracles.

"Lets make it interesting," Naruto jumped in "If Sakura trys out seriously and actually manages to get a call back then I will put up….all my danger bonuses for the next three months." Naruto slapped his hand on the table again laughing at his own cleverness.

"Yeah me too!" Kiba also slapped his hand on the table…and the bet was impressive, both were Elite jounin so the danger bonuses could be pretty hefty. Sakura bit her lip but was overwhelmed when Chouji also threw in his own hand.

"Alright!" she stood up and slammed her hand on the table leaning over her drunken companions. Now determined that she would get as far as call-backs, she WOULD do it and she would prove to all of them that she WAS NOT vanilla.

"Wait! This is a bet! So what does she forfeit is she doesn't get a call-back?" Ino would just HAVE to add that wouldn't she?

"Hey I know, if Sakura doesn't get a call-back, she will have to wear a sign all next week telling everyone she's vanilla." Naruto laughed, ready to dodge at Sakura's lightest twitch.

Sakura glared at Naruto and nodding, turned swiftly on her heel and stomped over to the desk surrounded by hopefuls all waiting to be interviewed by the magazine executive and photographer. She cleared a path before her, through the chunin and younger women, immediately claiming a spot at the head of the table and loomed over the young man at the table demanding a application.

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"So miss…..Harano is it?" he looked up blinking at her behind his thick glasses then looking back down at the sheet. "It says here that you are a jounin….a medical expert…what are you an expert in?" he peered at her and Sakura imagined herself interviewing for a hospital position not to be on a cover of a trashy magazine.

"Field surgery and uncommon illness, along with a strong background in poisons, physical therapy and rehabilitation, I've trained under Tsunade for quite a few years but I have started branching off into my own specialties by-" She was cut off by the officious little man.

"Tsunade? Someone I should know?"

"Uh, the Hokage." she replied beetling her brows once again wondering if she was talking to the right guy.

"Oh right, her, very unfortunate, we've been asking her to do this for a while but she keeps turning us down for some reason" As if turning him down was something he just couldn't comprehend any sane woman wanting to do.

"Well all that's left miss uh….Hirano, is for us to take a picture of you and we will get a hold of you in a couple weeks." He dismissively turned to the next form in the pile and motioned to the next girl.

"Its Haruno" she corrected the little man who just oushed his glasses back up and made shooing motions.Sakura figured this meant she should move on the to the guy with the camera standing patiently in the corner.

"So you guys are going to take my picture now?" She inquired looking down at her slightly rumpled uniform.

"This is just so the guys have something to look at when they go over your picture." he stood her up against the wall and picked up his camera.

In a panic she realized that this would be her first impression and she quickly pulled out the clip in her hair and pushing her chest forward. She threw out her best smile looking up just in time to catch the flash of the camera, a slightly surprised look on her face.

After being turned down to take just one more picture, she slinked out of the bar leaving her tab for Naruto to pick up for once.

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Weeks had passed by and Sakura had completely forgotten about her erstwhile career in modeling. The others had been drunk enough that when the subject came up again they just laughed and grinned, telling her not to worry about it.

She left in the morning and came home at night, she occasionally went out on missions with her team, More often then not, she and Naruto were placed together. After dating Sasuke several years ago, they had both asked that neither one of them be placed on the others team if at all possible due to "irreconcilable differences". The differences had turned out to not be so irreconcilable but they had yet to cancel the request figuring things were working fine the way they were.

As for the final member of Team Kakashi, he himself went on missions and came home every day just like her. They passed each other in jounin headquarters and raised a negligent hand hardly bothering to look up from medical texts or erotic books to provide even the barest of hellos. Sakura had long given up the idea of having any sort of meaningful relationship with Kakashi, he liked porn and porn seemed to like him, he was ok with it. So Sakura sighed and sunk back into her books and her new passion of botany.

She spent her free evenings with friends who seemed to grasp at any sense of normality left in their lives. But the crowd was getting thinner and Sakura had realized that she had cut herself off from the whole dating scene, isolating herself among her friends where she was unlikely to run into any guys looking for dates or even a little passion. When she bothered to go out at all, it was obvious that things needed to change but duty called and time slipped by, eventually even her good intentions were forgotten.

That made the arrival of the envelope even more surprising when Sakura finally broke the seal and read the contents. Her mouth dropped open and she gasped for air as she read what could very well be her death sentence. Not only was she going to be called back but they had decided that she was the perfect candidate for this year's Miss Konoha to be featured in Shinobi Illustrated Ladies with Knives, special edition. She had no idea what that meant but she knew she just had to turn it down. She clutched the scattered papers to her chest, looked around for anyone who might have seen the damaging contents of the letter before she rushed into the house and hurriedly shoved the papers into a trash can and lit a match. She held the match over the trash can staring down into its contents blindly, swearing when she felt the flame burn her fingers, snapped her hand and put her finger in her mouth with a moue of distaste.

Could she really turn this down?

She had wanted to take the bet because she didn't want anyone to see her as Vanilla…isn't this proving it to more then just her friends but to every guy here in Konoha? Heck it might even be good for a few dates if she was lucky.

And damn it was flattering that they picked her without even calling her back for a second interview. She never had thought of herself as that hot.

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"You know it's the ones who aren't that hot that leave us so much to work with."

Sakura stood humiliated in the middle of the room wearing only her underwear and socks. The room was huge, cables and wires ran in every direction not to mention backdrops and camera equipment of every size and type scattered throughout what appeared to be a refitted warehouse. Which, of course meant it wasn't heated. She shivered and resisted hugging herself with her arms, having gotten in trouble for that already.

"Ok Make-up! I really need you to get started, I want to talk to Wardrobe. I saw this one guy in the village and I was simply inspired! Inspired! This is going to be some of my best work ever….."

She heard the fading sound of the photographer's voice and she looked over at the crack team of stylists, personal assistants, and important looking people who seemed to be giving her the fish eye.

"Come this way….ugh she has Tan Lines," This was said with capital marks denoting this as an abomination deserving of being promoted to a noun.

She was turned into a small dressing area and had her underwear wrestled forcibly from her person. While she just had two hands, they had many and Sakura was soon subdued sans panties and bra. She shrieked when the first cold spray hit her calf and looked down to see a woman with a can in her hand.

"Stand still or you'll look like a very tan Zebra," she mumbled around the cigarette hanging from the corner of her mouth as the freezing spray was applied to Sakura's skin followed by the scorching heat of a blow dryer to evenly and quickly set the stain.

Her hair, during this torture, was brushed and teased and greased and de greased with every imaginable product and glue going in. The effect was….poofy. There was no other word she could use to describe it. Fortunately she was turned away from the horrifying image presented to her as she ineffectively tried to cover herself, that's when Make Up took over.

Makeup artists consider themselves just that…artists. Any canvas needs to start clean, so nearly a vat of foundation was air blasted onto her face. Followed by the careful and painstaking application of liner and then false eyelashes. Sakura blinked and contorted her face as she tried to settle the fakes into a more comfortable position as another person touched up her bottom eye with even darker liner. The mirror had been moved away at some point so Sakura could only imagine what monstrosities were happening to her face. She just looked surprised when indicated or made large O's with her lips, contorting her face into every conceivable position. She earned the wrath of the artists assistant by actually tearing up when the burning sensation from the eyeliner mixed with tears hit her cornea, she learned her lesson after that tirade and managed not to make such a faux pas again.

Sakura was finally given a robe once the stain had set and she was allowed to sit in a chair while the final touches were applied to her hair and face. The rack with her selection of clothing was brought up and picked over by an assistant who consulted with the executives, Mr. Hanaziki and the photographer. Sakura sat quietly while the finishing touches were done on her nails and toes; a beautiful French manicure. She tried to follow their conversation going on just out of earshot. When that failed, she tried asking about the other kunoichi who must have also been in this room but was ignored while they went about the business of making her beautiful.

"Ahhh Miss….Horono was it? We have finally chosen the perfect wardrobe for you, I hope you will like it. Mr. Yanuzo and I were inspired by one of your own shinobi while we were walking through your village." He held up the outfit that had been chosen for her and Sakura's mouth dropped in horror as she stared into the smiles directed her way as they took her gag reflex as surprised amazement she even forgot to correct the little man for forgetting her name again, would it be so hard to call her Sakura?Its not like her hair wasn't a constant reminder.

"Great! WARDROBE! We shoot in ten minutes!"

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Sakura ignored the pain in her back from the high heels, the uncomfortable grit of sand as it dug into the waist band of her bottoms and managed to invade every space possible. The only thing worse than sand is COLD sand. She was glad her nipples wouldn't show in most of the shots, they were embarrassingly…evident. This had only seemed to inspire the crew as lights and reflectors were placed to highlight her nipples to the best effect until it was determined that she should take her top off completely and just cover her breasts with her hands.

Sakura, fortunately, had very little room left in her life for modesty and she took each of these orders with aplomb as she rotated and contorted and rolled around in the cold sand and colder water. When the sun began to set and the light was gone, she was given a robe, a friendly handshake with thanks, and a small tote bag of cosmetics. With few well meant pointers from the makeup artist, who seemed to have taken her under his wing, she left.

She trooped to her hotel room tired, wet, cold, and hungry…apparently most models don't consider eating high on their list of priorities as every opportunity to hit the food table had been curtailed by someone needing her immediate attention. She ignored the strange looks shot her way by people who turned to look at her as she walked up the stairs and to her room. She shut the door behind her and collapsed on the bed rubbing a bit of sand between her fingertips. She kept finding it all over her body. She had no idea when she left Konoha last night after her shift that she would have such a hard day…makes her wish she had taken at least another day off to recover.

She headed to the bathroom and nearly gasped when she took a look at the woman in the mirror. She looked nothing like Haruno Sakura at all, she looked like…..like….like one of those girls you saw on the front of magazines. She blinked and admired the longer lashes and eyeshadow that made her normal eyes turn into big pools of sultry womanhood. The arched cheekbones and the hair that framed her face, falling around her shoulders in recently highlighted splendor.

Do all models have to work this hard?

Sakura had a new respect for women she had previously looked down on. She had been woken up to start her day at 4am, she had to be photographed in every sort of light, breaks and food were few and far between, not to mention having to deal with the constant cold and pushy manners of the crew. And she had only just now gotten back and it was nearing eleven at night! She stared hard at herself in the mirror before reluctantly turning on the shower. Sakura stepped in to wash away every change that had been wrought today.

She sighed as she got into bed, now sand free, and looked forward to her trip home tomorrow. She wasn't going to tell anyone about what she had done today and had just taken this weekend as a personal holiday. Maybe no one would even recognize her?

Probably not

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An: this was a fic i wrote for Lovelesslover for the pretty fanart she made for my story Ink me...i promised this too her a long time ago and i am SOOO horrible for taking so long. Originally this was supposed to be a one shot but this story is just too deliscious not to turn into a chapter...not many chapters but a few.

Anyways you might not be able to pay me money but you will have to pay me with reviews! Yes thats right it gets funnier and that kinda funniness dosnt come cheap!

Anyone who wants a reply to their review please add your email and i will be happy to send you a reply. I like that its fun.