A/N This story has been rotting away on my desktop, utterly ignore until I remembered it was there. It was inspired by the day I went to Bumbershoot with high heels on, and my feet came out too blistered to wear anything but sandals for a month. It was horrible... four hours of walking in those things... but at least I got inspiration from it! So, this lovely little short story came! Tell me what you think, not my best work, but still... I like it.

Lust sat down heavily on her moth eaten bed, upsetting a cloud of dust. She pulled off her high heels, sniffing in sadness and pain as she kicked them off and rubbed her feet. A new set of blisters had layered themselves across the bottoms and backs of her feet, and several had popped. The only imperfect thing about her body, her lovely, sexual body that could cause deadly nosebleeds, was her feet. Wearing three-inch high stilettos every day had its terrible price.

Lust rubbed her feet, taking out some moleskin and cutting it up with her nails, before putting it on. Then, getting up and stepping as lightly as she could, she stumbled out of the room. She limped over to the coffee table, sitting down and sighing. Picking up the mail, she flicked through it. It was barely noon, but she'd come back for the sake of trying to retain the ability to walk. Everyone else was out, so it was wonderfully quiet.

Lust opened up an advertisement booklet for Floormart, the official superstore of Central. She looked everything over uninterestedly, boredom clawing at her mind. And then she saw something that caught her attention. Lust got up, slicing a bit of the paper off. Then she walked back to her room, putting back on the dreadful, hateful high heels, and limped out the door. If this were true, it would be well worth it.

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"Welcome to Floormart, how may I help you?" Came the painfully joyous voice of a worker at the store. Lust looked up, pain and hatred consuming her; damn these people for being so happy! "Umm, Miss?" The young man asked, "Are you alright?"

Lust grabbed him by the front of his collar, pulling him up to her and shaking him vigorously. "Take me to this!" She said unnecessarily loud, shoving the paper under his nose and dropping him. He stared at her terrified, his smile shaking as though afraid it might not live much longer.

"Right this way," he said nervously, walking quickly down a near aisle. Lust followed quickly as she could. "Here they are, they're only on sale until the end of the week so you're lucky." And with that, he ran as fast as he could in the opposite direction, not caring where he went. As long as it wasn't there…

Lust picked up one of the cardboard boxes, her eyes gleaming. "Yes," she said, beginning to cry in happiness, "YES!" Nearby, people began to edge away little by little. Lust looked at the sign beside the boxes. It read, quite clearly, 'Therapeutic Foot Baths; $200'. Lusts smile dropped. Her shoulders fell, her grip loosened and her mouth was left hanging open. She put the box back. Lust stared longingly at it for another five minutes or so, hoping against hope that it might help her feet somehow if she concentrated hard enough. Then she gave up, walking out of the store. She pulled off her shoes, walking back home in more pain than she'd ever felt before.

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"Alright Lust, what is it?" Dante asked impatiently, looking up. Lust got up from bowing, stepping gingerly on her bare feet.

"Dante," Lust stopped, nervousness gripping her, stuck in indecision as to how to put forth the question. But it had to be done. "Dante, I want to be paid." Dante stopped pacing. She hadn't expected this.

"Paid? But whatever use could you have for money?" She asked, her anger held off by shock.

"Well," Lust replied nervously, "I was at Floormart, and…"

"Lust, your payment is that I'll turn you human when I get the stone," Dante said, regaining her senses, "I can't afford minimum wage, I buy you all food and I pay for your apartment already."

"But Dante, I swear, one dollar an hour!" Lust said desperately. She knew she was speaking out of her place, but it she had to try.

"Enough!" Dante commanded, "Go back and get some sleep, you must be in desperate need of it. I'll take this into consideration." Her voice said that this was the end of it, and so Lust bowed, turning around and leaving. Her left foot throbbed painfully and she knew that Dante could never be trusted again. Lust didn't forgive easily.

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The next morning, Lust's swollen red feet needed changing of moleskin. Lust worked with it, finishing and getting up. She headed out the door of her bedroom, leaning on the wall for support. She felt like killing someone. Lust needed some sort of happiness right then, anything would do, so she looked around. Sloth was making coffee, and Envy lounged around on the couch, his tired eyes glazed over as he skimmed the newspaper. Envy would do, she finally decided; she'd never liked coffee that much. Lust looked hungrily at him, trying to catch his eye. Didn't work.

Lust coughed loudly, staring meaningfully at the homunculus. He absentmindedly picked up a cough drop, tossing it to her as he continued to read. "Envy!" Lust finally yelled, the homunculus jumping as her voice rang through his ears. "Oh, you're done reading," she said modestly as Envy stared at her in a way one would stare at a person in the corner of the subway who was talking to no one in particular about sugar helping cockroaches in their secret plan for world domination. Sloth shook her head disapprovingly, taking Envy's newspaper and sitting down at the table with a cup of coffee.

"What?" Envy asked testily.

"Envy, I need help… moving my bed," Lust replied. "Now." Envy stared in a half asleep daze, the words slowly processing.

"Lust, this early?" He finally asked, "I just woke up, can't sex wait…"

"Now!" Lust yelled, grabbing his shirt and pulling him into her room. She'd be damned if she didn't have a little bit of pleasure in her horrendous day. She flopped down gratefully on her bed, beckoning Envy closer. Envy walked forward, shrugging in acceptance of the inevitable, but stopped.

"Lust," he said, staring down further along the bed, "What's that stuff on your feet?" Lust lost all lust towards Envy in that moment, her smile slipping into a frown.

Sloth looked up at the noise of the door being slammed open and Envy being thrown out. Lust's chest huffed, and she glared in an utterly terrifying manner. Sloth edged away slowly. "Envy, you son of a-" The door opened up, a figure walking in. Lust stopped, mid-swear and stared in renewed hatred as Dante walked in.

Dante stopped, deciding after about a minute to ignore the strange scene, and continue with her purpose for being there. "Alright, everyone listen," she said loudly, "Recently, one of you came to me asking for pay, as though my kindness and my taking care of you wasn't already enough." Lust sighed; this didn't sound good. "So, I've decided to do something for all of you. We're going to start celebrating your birthdays!" Dante had thought very hard about Lust's request the previous day, and had decided that happy homunculi were obedient homunculi. It was so simple she didn't know why she hadn't tried it before. This announcement didn't quite have the affect she was going for.

"What?" Envy asked, his brow furrowed in confusion. Everyone, it seemed, was in shock.

"We're going to start celebrating birthdays now, so everyone tell me when yours is," Dante replied, her voice gaining an edge, "Now!" They all lost themselves deep in thought, Envy speaking up first.

"I think mine is next week sometime…" he said, his voice unsure, "Thursday?"

"No!" Lust cried out, "My birthday's on Tuesday!" Envy looked at her in the same way as before, and Sloth shook her head and sighed. All in all, an overwhelming sense of déjà vu settled in the room as Dante thought this all over.

"Mine is in September," Sloth added in, saying her part, and then going back to silence.

"Alright," Dante said, looking at Lust suspiciously for a minute, before shrugging it off. "Envy, you'll bake the cake, Sloth, I'll give you money to get Lust a gift; you're all going to enjoy this whether you like it or not. Are we clear?" All of the homunculi nodded. Dante nodded, satisfied with this and left.

"…Tuesday?" Sloth questioned Lust.

"Oh shut up," Lust replied, walking over to get a cup of coffee. She grinned to herself inwardly, hope rising within her yet again.

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Left at home alone again other than Wrath, Lust walked over to the refrigerator, picking up a magnet and a piece of crumpled paper. She stuck the advertisement for the therapeutic foot bath on the fridge, taking out a large sharpie and writing to the side of the picture 'Lust wants this.' She smoothed out more of the wrinkles; she'd been keeping it under her pillow until now. Then, smiling to herself, Lust pulled on her high-heeled shoes and left, going for a walk. She could stand another couple days of this agony with such a great thing on the horizon. She could even forgive Envy if he bought her it, Dante too. Well… maybe.

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Lust ate a bite of cake; it had obviously been store bought, or in Envy's case store stolen, but he'd gone through the trouble of writing 'Made by Envy' in near illegible frosting letters next to the artistic, tasteful, professional writing of the words 'Happy Birthday!' He'd even wiped most of the blood off of it, save a few drops. Lust smiled, she wasn't one for enjoying herself much, nonetheless showing it, but today she simply couldn't help it. She didn't even mind the terrible pointed party hats that they'd all been made to wear. They burned the eyes to look at, but if she squinted or looked away it was all right.

"Lust, here," Sloth said emotionlessly, handing Lust a hefty package. It was half covered in wrapping paper, and tape stuck on in every which way. All in all, the effect was horrifying. Despite being a housewife in her past life, Sloth had little to offer in home making skills, and it seemed that wrapping presents was yet another task that was simply beyond her. Lust grabbed at it, stopping. She took off every piece of tape with careful, shaking hands; she wanted to savor the moment. Taking the box, she pulled off the lid and clawed out the popcorn inside to pull out-

A stuffed pink bear. Lust couldn't breath. Sloth, not one to read or express emotions well smiled lightly for a moment, taking Lust's stop as one of joy. "They were new, I saw that you'd gone to Floormart and I found it there," she said, in a rare show of happiness.

"Yes," Lust said quietly, "Yes. I… need a moment alone." She got up, taking the bear with her into her room. She sat down on her bed, hugging it for comfort and started crying.

Sloth sat outside, finishing her cake with Envy, Wrath, and Dante, her pride evident to all. "Are you sure that's what she wanted?" Envy asked, after listening to Lust's wholehearted crying for about five minutes as no one else dared speak, daring to glance at the picture on the fridge of the footbath. Sloth nodded, not taking the hint and remaining wonderfully oblivious to the fact that Lust was, though it may be hard to believe, crying out of sadness as it were.

After another few minutes, Lust returned, wiping her eyes and sitting down. "Thank you," she said blandly and heartlessly to Sloth, who, in return, positively radiated joy.

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Lust sat in her room, brooding on the horrors of life with high heels. Dante wouldn't let any of them steal, she insisted that it brought too much attention to them. Lust stopped twiddling with the teddy bear's ear at this thought, looking up. What if she didn't steal it? What if an unidentified, unrecognizable man stole it?

Lust got up, taking her last shred of hope with her.

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Lust took the box, prying it open with her fingers. She tore through the paper, at last pulling out the foot bath. She beamed, going to the sink and filling it up, before sitting down, turning it on, and putting in her feet. She hugged her new bear, watching in a glaze of joy as the water frothed with minerals and bubbles. She picked up the box and threw it into the corner with her shoes. When she'd had enough, she'd had enough. She would have to thank Envy later.

"What's that?" Sloth asked, looking into the room as she passed by and stopping.

"Foot bath," Lust replied, still staring mesmerized at the foamy water, "Envy stole it for me."

"…He agreed to that?" Sloth questioned. Lust nodded.

"I have no idea why he agreed so easily, but I don't care, it's mine!" Lust said. She knew she sounded nothing like her usual emotional, depressed self, but she didn't care. Not one bit.

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"Is Edward Elric here?" Asked a man in an official looking uniform, walking into Roy's office without so much as knocking. Ed nodded, getting up.

"That's me, what is it?" he asked, scratching the back of his head. He looked the man up and down, his shirt said 'Floormart' on it. Wasn't that the store he kept getting adds for in the mail?

"I'm the manager at Floormart, and I'm afraid to say that we have video evidence from our main store that you've stolen a $200 Therapeutic Foot Bath. You were recognized by several people as you ran out of the store."

"What the hell?" Ed said, as the man came in and two large security guards handcuffed him. "I didn't do it, I swear! Roy, tell them I didn't do it!" He yelled, being drug away.

"Make sure you get him an extra small cell, he's so tiny he could just walk out from between the bars of a regular one," Roy warned, smirking in delight. "Therapeutic Foot Baths… he's finally lost it."