by Foxy Vixen
Note: Don't take this seriously.
It was a quiet day in Raccoon City. Brad Vickers walked along the cold clammy streets.
"Shit, I ain't going to Europe with them. They'll probably end up as a main course of some French stripper with bushy arm pits," Brad mumbled as he heard an eerie sound in a trash can.
"What was that? Oh man, I gotta stay on my toes..... hey wait a second. Why am I talking outloud if I'm going to sneak up on the trashcan?"
Shut up Brad. If you're gonna die, you gotta tell everyone the plot or its gonna confuse everyone and get me bad reviews.
"DIE!?! Listen here, I risked my snow nigger ass just to save the day in the last game and now you want me to DIE!?!"
"Yep, now go check the trashcan.. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is on in Five minutes and I want to get this story over with. NOW MOVE!!!"
Brad sighed as walked over towards the trashcan.
"Oh my, I wonder what's in the trash can. HMMMMM, is it a Licker? or Cerebus? Gee, maybe I should take a look, even though I don't have my pistol loaded or my knife ready," he bumbled sarcastically as he tosses the lid aside. Inside was.... a cat!?!
"Oh this is gonna give Nemesis a run for its money," said Brad as he lifted the feline up. All of a sudden, its eyes glowed a fiery red. Brad dropped it in fright as it began to growl and twist its head 360 degrees.
"Mrrrrrgggggghhhhh, RRRREARRRRR!!!!" it cried as it lept up and covered Brad's face. Brad took his hand and began to try and pry the sucker off his head.
Suddenly, Leon and Claire came in.
"Claire, are you all right?"
"Yeah, but we have to find my........ hey, is that Brad?"
"Ahh, who cares. Hey wanna go make out before the this turns into a horror fic and we gotta fight again?"
"Sure." The two ran off with a cat slapped on Brad's head. Brad pulled out his knife and jabbed it in the feline's head.
"Shit, Foxy. Its bad enough that you write a story of how I bit the dust but by a cat!?!"
Okay.... FINE.
All of a sudden, a chopper drops a cargo box with Mr.X in it. His bulging size towered Brad as he pulled off a giant iron pipe.
"Like I never played this game before," spoke Brad as he pulled out a Rocket Launcher and blasted him.
This is getting frustrating. There is probably less then a page on here and you still haven't croaked yet. Well, time to get back to basics.
All of a sudden Brad walks into an alleyway. Then dozens of zombies came in. Brad picked up his pistol and began to shoot at them.
"Whew," he mumbled as he wiped his brow.
Then the pissed off authour, had more zombies come. Brad desperately shoots at them but soon runs out of ammo. Brad backed up. No where to go. He went down on his knees and shouted the only thing that came to his mind at the time........
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I DON'T WANT TO DIE A VIRGIN!!!!!!"
Chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp chomp*belch*
