Disclaimer: I don't own Devil May Cry. Can't sue me! (MC Hammer tune: Doo doo doo doo, doo doo doo, doo doo doo! Can't sue me! Doo doo doo doo...)

Summary: Follow-up of sorts to "Abandoned." Takes place before and after Heather returns to her home, and Dante and Vergil. Her thoughts, basically, concerning what she has done to support her children.

To the People Who Hated "My Angel" and Are Currently Reading This: Thanks for giving me the inspiration to write this. This one's dedicated to you!

The Healing

Weeks have passed since I returned. Days of pain, nights of anguish.

But through it all, they have been with me. Helping me to get through my pain. I no longer flinch from their touch, and I can stand the concept of being with them once more. I feel as if I can trust again.

Kellian has moved out of the house at my request, and gotten an apartment closer to Devil May Cry. He reminded me too much of most of my clients. Zak is still living in the basement, and Reece has remained as well. But we all know that this is a temporary arrangement. Plans have been made.

I look down at the rings on my fingers. A silver one with a ruby setting, and a golden circlet with a sapphire of deepest blue. Engagement rings they gave me just hours ago. They have told me that they will stay faithful to me, admitted aloud the emotions I already knew they held for me, and promised that once this is all behind us we can have a life together.

Together...

Such a beautiful word.

I know the true meaning of loneliness now. Even whilst I had my children with me, I was totally alone. No one to talk to, no one to share the burdens I carried. Michael and Aeva were of great comfort, that's true, but I couldn't tell them everything. All they knew was that they had to hide all night in warehouses or abandoned buildings, and for most of the day as well. Their mommy had a job to do, but they didn't know what it was. I never told them because I didn't want to influence their young minds. I was ashamed of my actions then as I am now. How many women would willingly do the things I have done to provide for my children, to protect them? How many of them would simply have given up and gone back? I keep those five years of my life a secret, because I do not want to be condemned for something I had to do.

Standing in their doorway now, I feel at peace. My little ones have gotten accustomed to life here with their fathers, and no longer do they sneak into my room at night because they cannot sleep. They still feel the need to share a bed, however; this night Aeva has crawled into Michael's, and they are deeply immersed in their dreams, holding tightly to each other for security. Aeva has brought Charlie with her, and the stuffed lion is held in her free arm. The other is wrapped tightly around her twin.

I smile, remembering how she got that toy. It had been Vergil's, so I am told, when he was a boy. After the attack on their family, when he thought his older brother was dead, Dante took the stuffed toy with him as a memento, because it had belonged to his twin for so long. On their nestlings' birthday two months ago (the first holiday of any sort we have celebrated as a family), Dante gave Charlie to Aeva, telling her that it had been her father's. Vergil was stunned to learn that Dante had kept it, but Aeva was thrilled. It has become her favorite toy, and a kind of cuddle-animal at night. There are some nights when she snuggles up with Charlie rather than Michael.

I believe this is a sign that the damage from the streets is healing. They can both stand to be alone now, albeit for only a few hours at a time. When first we came home, the twins would howl and scream and cry if left alone for any space of time. They had to have someone with them, even if it wasn't their sibling. The fear of being alone was a deeply ingrained one, but it has begun to go away. It will be some time before they can be left alone in the house, of course, but hopefully soon they will be able to be put in separate rooms. If they don't need them now, they will need them later. Sooner or later, they will have to have separate bedrooms.

I walk over to the bed and stare down at my children. In sleep, they appear as little angels, beautiful and innocent. Their fathers look like this sometimes, when their faces are unguarded in their dreams. They appear so much younger than they truly are. As if I must protect them.

And I will. That is my duty, as mother to their children, their nestlings, and as their lover. I will keep them safe, as much as I can.

Which means keeping their hearts safe as well. Favoritism is still unallowed; they are getting better about sharing me, but if I somehow give signs that I favor one over the other, the other twin will get jealous, no matter how unintentional it may have been. They both have a way of dealing with this. Vergil keeps a punching bag in the basement with his weights, and when he gets angry about something these days he goes down and beats the bag until he feels better. I think he's already gone through three of those sand-filled bags. Dante goes to a shooting range out in the woods; sometimes he stays out there for the entire day if he gets mad enough.

Anger management without hurting each other. What a concept.

As for me, I throw eggs.

Seriously.

On the occasion when they both get riled up to the point that they feel they must beat each other black and blue (and more often than not that list also includes the color red), I go into the backyard with at least two cartons of eggs and throw them at a target. The target gets hosed down after each round so flies aren't a problem, but that doesn't matter to me in the heat of the moment. I swear they'd kill me if they knew, but when I go to throw the eggs I envision the target to be one of their heads. I get a bull's eye every single time.

But things are getting better. I feel almost... whole again. Once before I said that I felt like a jigsaw puzzle with half the pieces missing. Now, through long weeks and months of time spent with the men I love, I feel as if the pieces are back. I don't know how, but they've managed to put me back together, filling in the missing pieces of my soul as if they had never been gone.

A miracle.

Michael stirs in his sleep, whimpering softly; I lay a soft hand on his head to calm him. My fingers stroking through his snowy hair soothes him, and he returns to his dreams. There is no reaction from Aeva, but I know she has felt her twin's distress. Like most twins, they share a mental connection. What one feels, physically or emotionally, the other will feel. It's admittedly a little disturbing at times, but I've learned to deal with it.

I hear footsteps behind me, and then warm hands close about my upper arms. I wonder if it is Dante or Vergil.

He whispers for me to come to bed, and uses the nickname 'babe.' This is Dante behind me now. From the tone of his voice, I know he wants more than to sleep.

I can do this for him. Yesterday, after all, I had sex with Vergil in his work-out room in the basement while Dante was out on a mission. I should have known that Dante would sense his twin's pleasure; their mental connection has returned after being sundered so many years ago (yet another loss in the same attack that stole their mother from them). I wonder how long he stayed at his shooting range last night. I didn't hear him come in.

But then again, I spent the entire night in the basement. I wouldn't have heard him anyway.

I give my children a single small smile, and turn to kiss the younger brother. I make sure to brush my hips against his, a signal as old as time itself that says I am ready to have sex with him. He grins, and leads me from my children's room with a pulling hand, eager to even the score with his brother. So competitive they are, but even while it sometimes aggravates me to no end, I love that about them. After all, I am often the one who reaps the benefits of their competitions. And they take such good care of me.

So much was lost, but so much was gained.

I don't know how they convinced me, but once again I feel like Dante's babe, Vergil's angel.

I feel worthy of them.

I am healed.