Disclaimer: Not mine yaddy yaddy ya da

Feedback: YES PLEASE!

Rating: PG-13, there is some mild sexual content but I didn't think it was bad enough to warrant a NC-17

Authors note: This was written in a variety of different moods but I think the general idea is the same! Just a quick note, I am English, I have not see Endgame, it does not exists in my world, even though I know what happens I refuse to acknowledge it! Because of that at the moment I have a craving for J/C fics as not many people seem to be writing them so if there is any good J/C authors reading please keep writing!

Chakotay rang the chime again, then again, then banged on the door. He sighed in exasperation and thought for a minute. Kathryn had invited him to her quarters for a meal, Kathryn did not appear to be in her quarters, logical conclusion, Kathryn was yet again working overtime in her ready room and it was up to him to drag her away. Before he jumped to conclusions though he had better double check.

"Computer locate Captain Janeway." He waited for the inevitable answer.

"Captain Janeway is in her quarters." Well that he did not expect, he banged on the door again, deciding that maybe the chime was broken. When he still got no answer he grew slightly worried. Without a second thought he tapped in the override code and stepped inside.

"Captain?" He stepped cautiously inside and looked around, the place looked as if it had very recently been tidied up, there was music playing unobtrusively in the back ground and a half full bottle of wine on the side with one wine glass next to it. "Captain?" He called again, wandering through her living area, he peeped into her bedroom and still saw nothing. Then he heard a slight splash, he quickly walked in that direction and came up to the bathroom. He quietly pushed the door open and smiled slightly at the sight that met his eyes.

Kathryn was lying in the bathtub, her hair was up in a messy ponytail with the ends trailing in the water, one smooth tanned leg was bent upwards and she had one arm hooked over the side of the tub, she was fast asleep. Chakotay looked down at her warmly, she had been working hard recently, just for a change, it looked as if it had all caught up on her.

Despite himself Chakotay found he was moving closer to the bathtub, he was drawn to the women inside. He knew he should probably just wake her up without moving any closer but he couldn't help himself. When he reached the edge he stared, mesmerised, at the perfect figure inside. He drank in Kathryn's features almost as if he knew he might not get a chance to see her like that again. He memorised every detail of her, her skin still slightly tanned from her last away mission, a few stray wisps of hair curled at the base of her throat and Chakotay fought the incredible urge to reach down and brush them away. Her body surprised him, it still looked young and firm with nothing to betray her advancing years. He took in her perfect breasts, her flat stomach, her smooth shapely legs. He noticed that his own body was responding quickly to the sight of her, he'd never been turned on by the sight of one women so fast. Then he looked at her face, it looked peaceful while sleeping, her bright alert blue eyes hidden away, her forehead smooth.

Chakotay could have stayed looking at her for hours, just memorising her but her position suddenly changed and she slid slightly under the water. Chakotay reached down and grabbed her arms, yanking her up. She came up coughing and spluttering, then she opened her eyes.

"Chakotay what are you doing here?" She quickly grabbed a towel while Chakotay scooted away.

"I'm sorry, I came to see if you were all right, we were supposed to be having dinner, remember?" Chakotay tried to snap out of his dream like state.

"Were we? Oh yes of course," Kathryn tried to pull the towel around as much of her as she could. She didn't entirely believe Chakotay, she had seen the look in his eyes, the desire in them had scared her.

Chakotay stood numbly, unable to move away from the women that had such an effect on him, he hoped desperately she hadn't noticed anything. Kathryn shot him a look.

"I'm sorry, do you mind?" She gestured to her lack of clothes.

"Of course!" Chakotay quickly jerked back to life, "I'll just, wait in here." He back into the living room and sank into the sofa taking some deep and calming breaths. He closed his eyes and immediately saw the picture of Kathryn in the bath again, his throat and his groin tightened.

"I hope you're in a red wine mood, because I certainly am," Kathryn waltzed back in again, Chakotay wondered if she made her voice that husky and sexy on purpose. She had her back to him while she was pouring two glasses of wine giving him time to appreciate her legs in her figure hugging black trousers. He began to wonder what had possessed him to agree to this dinner after all the tension recently, and it wasn't the headache causing tension either. Sexual tension affected everyone onboard Voyager at some time or another, but for him it had been worse lately and Kathryn with her sexy voice and tight clothes weren't helping.

"You're very quiet," Kathryn leant over and passed him a glass of dark red wine, like her lips he thought to himself.

"I've just got a lot on my mind." Chakotay took a long mouthful of the comforting wine.

"The new replicator problem?" Kathryn nodded and took her own mouthful of drink, talking about Voyager was her usual back up if anything got to serious between her and Chakotay and now was no exception. "I know what you mean, there's now three off line and B'ellana says it's not going to be easy to fix. Neelix of course is offering me ample supplies of leola root but I think we'll have to be really desperate before that happens!" She chuckled and took another sip of wine.

Chakotay looked distracted, she looked at him over the rim of her wine glass, taking opportunity of the situation to get a good look at him. He was looking as damned sexy as always, she thought back to the look in his eyes when he had pulled her out of the water in the bath and felt an electrical jolt shoot up her spine. She stood up quickly, causing Chakotay to look at her.

"I'll get the food," She babbled and set down her wine glass. As she hurried over to her replicator she suddenly wondered about her choice of food, chicken marinated in red wine with herbs served with rice. Thinking about it, it definitely sounded like date food, in fact this whole evening had a kind of date atmosphere.

She had certainly made an effort with her quarters, tidying the whole place up, she suddenly wondered about the candles she had dug up two days ago and decided would be 'nice' the low lighting, the slow music she had borrowed off of Tom. She should have known better than to accept Tom's music offer when she knew he had a poll running about whether her and Chakotay would get together. Was it really possible that while she was preparing for a nice meal with a friend, she had sub-consciously set up an atmosphere to seduce him instead? She had been feeling lonely recently but surely she hadn't set out to seduce her first officer, 'so why did you spend so long looking out that black lacy underwear that's been hidden at the back of drawer?' a little voice said. She banished it quickly and got the food, this was just a friendly meal, that was all.

Chakotay drained his glass of all traces of wine and set the glass down next to him. He tried to clear his mind of all thoughts of sex or Kathryn and sex seeing as the two usually went together in his mind. God she looked good enough to eat, he wished she would just let him love her.

"Here we go," Kathryn placed the plates on her dining table and sat at one end, "Hope you like it." Chakotay smiled and sat down opposite.

The meal, a dessert and two bottles of wine later they were back on the couch. They had talked about everything, the ships problems, what was going on in the crew, just chatter. They were both uncomfortably aware of the atmosphere and tried to cover it up with jokes.

"So what shall we talk about now," Kathryn sat with her feet tucked in and her glass of wine in her hand on one side of the couch.

"I don't know," Chakotay lounged on the other side, "Something not about Voyager."

"Well that doesn't leave us with very many options," Kathryn undid her hair from it's ponytail, "Voyager is the only thing around here of interest."
"Well there's got to be something," Chakotay swallowed as Kathryn's shiny auburn hair fell around her shoulders. "What about love." He blurted out.

Kathryn laughed, "You mean sex."

"No!" Chakotay protested.

"Well the two are ultimately related, and I know the male mind," Kathryn grinned at him. Chakotay tried to look mildly insulted.

"I resent that remark!" He grinned back, "Anyway, the two aren't always related."

"Really?" Kathryn raised an eyebrow, "Well I think you were brought up in a different environment to me, I was always taught that love and sex were ultimately the same."

"Haven't you ever slept with someone for lust?" Chakotay asked curiously, he manoeuvred his position so he was facing her. "Ever."

"No," Kathryn answered honestly, "With me it has to be love all the way."

This touched Chakotay more than he could ever imagine, and deepened his respect for Kathryn another notch.

"Anyway," Kathryn laughed, "They're not exactly queuing up for nights of passion with me!" Before Chakotay had a chance to remonstrate she deftly changed the subject. "My feet are killing me," She massaged them gently with one hand.

Chakotay reached over and grabbed them, pulling them into his lap. "Allow me Madame Captain." He gently massaged her feet.

Kathryn relaxed back as Chakotay worked his magic, she felt herself becoming more relaxed and passive.

"Do you know that feet are incredibly sensitive areas," Chakotay gently pressed all the right places, Kathryn exhaled softly. "They say that they're linked to other pleasure points on the body." Kathryn smiled and raised one eyebrow.

"Well wherever they are linked to it's certainly working. That is lovely." She moaned softly and tilted her head back.

Chakotay swallowed at the sight, "Thank you, it's my speciality." He used to use it whenever he wanted to get a girl into bed, not that he was going to tell her that.

"I never noticed how uncomfortable the arms of these couches are." Kathryn frowned and punched the stubborn cushion.

"Come down here," Chakotay reluctantly let go of her feet, "It's much more comfortable." Kathryn shot him a look then to his surprise wriggled round until she was lying in his arms.

"Yes you're right, much more comfortable," She smiled up at him then snuggled down into his warmth. She felt small tingles run up and down her body as she rested her head on his chest and heard his heart beat. Then she laughed. "Get us! We're like a married couple minus the hassles." Chakotay frowned down at her, she laughed again. "Well, we don't have bills, children no sex life to worry about." She grinned and settled back down.

Chakotay stroked her hair and tried not to notice that his body was going crazy at the touch of her. "Yes but we have lot's more hassles than some married couples, a ship to run, thousands of lives to account for plus no sex life!"

"That's a hassle?!" Kathryn asked.

"Yes," Chakotay put a finger under her chin and tilted her head upwards. "Can't you tell I'm dying to make love to you."

Kathryn stared silently up at him for a minute then swiftly stood up and walked over to the window.

"Shit, I'm sorry Kathryn," Chakotay sat round and ran his hands through his hair, "I shouldn't have, I had no right…."

"No it's ok," Kathryn shushed him with a wave of her hand, she turned until she had her back to him, staring out at the stars. "I'm just surprised."

"Surprised?" Chakotay stared at her, annoyed at the fact he couldn't make out her emotions. "Why should you be surprised?"

"Well I'm hardly gods gift." Kathryn stared out the window as she let her emotions surface. "Chakotay, I'm a middle aged Captain who's married to her ship, you could do so much better than me."

"How could I do better than you Kathryn?" Chakotay asked unbelievingly, "Tell me, how?"

"Someone without complications, someone who can give themselves to you completely and utterly without as much emotional baggage as I have." Kathryn quickly brushed away a tear.

Chakotay swallowed painfully. "Kathryn look at me, please."

Kathryn paused then slowly turned around, she spread her hands out. "Well?"

"Kathryn I love you." Chakotay spoke freely and easily. "I want you to let me love you, I want to see you under the Captains façade, I want you to be able to love me."

Kathryn didn't say anything, she bit her lip and looked quickly down at the floor.

"Kathryn if you want me to leave I will." Chakotay stood up, "If you tell me to leave I'll go and this evening will never have happened, everything will be the same as it always was."

Kathryn looked back up into his eyes and didn't say anything. They stood silently for the longest minute of Chakotay's life, then Kathryn seemed to make a decision within herself. "Stay," She whispered, so quietly he barely heard her. Then she seemed to grow more confident. "Stay." She repeated in a stronger voice.

Chakotay let his features break into a relieved smile. "You have no idea how glad I am that you said that." He moved slowly towards her then took her gently in his arms. He bent forward to kiss her but she leant away and pressed a finger to his lips.

"Is this real Chakotay?"

Chakotay didn't say anything but instead removed her hand and gently caught her lips with his own. He felt her mouth part and took the opportunity to lightly brush his tongue against hers, then he pulled away.

"I love you Kathryn." He stared into her blue eyes, she smiled.

"I love you." She leant back towards him and kissed him gently. He responded gently at first then they both became more urgent, tongues exploring each others mouths, hands exploring each others body.

Kathryn sank easily down to the floor underneath Chakotay's weight. He broke off the kiss and instead started kissing her neck, allowing his hands to begin the process of removing her clothes. When he had finally got her clothes off he moved back slightly and took in the full view of her, she was breathing heavily and was ever so slightly flushed. She quickly felt for his trousers and took the opportunity to yank them off.

Chakotay allowed his hands to travel down Kathryn's body, she arched her back and gave him full access. When his tongue started following the same route she moaned as he brought her body back to life. As his hands and tongue coaxed her into ecstasy she dropped her head back and gasped, as he brought her over the brink of pleasure she intertwined her fingers in his hair and moaned his name. When his tongue finally travelled back up her body she was as limp as a rag doll.

She caught him back in a passionate kiss and rolled over on top of him, she lowered herself down on him and brought him inside her. They rocked together, slowly at first then faster as passion over took them. Kathryn tipped her head back as Chakotay let his hands explore her. They finally came together, staring into each others eyes.

Afterwards Kathryn lay in Chakotay's arms, she stroked his arm gently, in the passive moment between sex and sleep.

"This is real isn't it Kathryn?" Chakotay put his arms around her and nestled his face in her hair, she smiled.

"This is real."