THIS IS A REWRITE!!!! (Because the previous Chapter 10 sucked like nothing else!!!! I hated it!!!! -runs far far away and hides underground-)
Well enough angsting... I like this chapter much better and I hope you will too. I agree with Clarity2199. the former chapter wasn't really all that funny or enjoyable... It was just so-so... oh well. If you guys liked the previous chapter better... uh I'll guess I'll put in both chapters as alternate versions or something.
WOW-ZA! I hit 100 reviews!!! Thank you! thank you so much you guys. I am really happy and slightly shocked (but I'll get over it -winks-)!! Hopefully I can deliver the goods!!!
To DreamTimeTales: It's actually a combination of technology and Pegasus' mojo.
To casaragi: I'm not doing a crossover with YGO. I'm thinking more along the lines of a jutsu gone wrong. Over done, I know, but maybe I can still think of a twist or something.
To Mabuchi Kana: It actualy started with some random KaiJou fanart I saw over the internet. The pictures were really cute and fluffy... so I started imagining random scenes of "what-ifs"... and then boom it just came to me.
I think I injected this thing with the right amount of fluff and hints... hehehehe
CHAPTER 10
Kaiba blinked.
Sure enough something blond, and shaggy was in front of him, in his Mansion, in his kitchen, with a ridiculous chicken-yellow costume and a lopsided chef's hat.
He blinked again for good measure. "What are you doing in MY house?"
Jou spluttered at him. "Ya called me out, man, so here I am. Dun tell me you forgot. Coz' that is so not funny." He held up a grocery bag for the blue eyed CEO's inspection. "This stuff ain't cheap ya know and the beef cuts I got from my friend are the choicest."
The fog from Kaiba's min slowly lifted. Really, Saturdays were the official days of his brain's death. "I wasn't being serious." he muttered under his breath, not really sure how to react.
Warm brown eyes shot him a look. "What? Didja say sumthin'?"
The tall brunet considered telling him to get out, but his personal chef had the day off, Mokuba was sorta still irked at him and he couldn't cook to save his life. He could coerce Mini-Jou but he doubted the short-stuff could handle cooking a full-grown man's lunch and then some. He was starving.
And Jou had beef.
He could stay.
And cook.
It was all for the beef.
The taller of the two tipped his head back in arrogance. "This better be good, mutt."
"Yeah, yeah." Jou muttered dismissively. "Can't really figure out why I'm doin' this..."
"How did you get in anyway? Security would not have let anyone through without permission." Kaiba asked him, refraining form insulting the blond. He couldn't very well allow the dog to poison his meal now, would he?
The better cook rifled through his groceries and started arranging them according to his needs. "Oh... called Mokie and 'fessed up."
"Actually, Jou's the one doing us a favor." the younger Kaiba strolled in, smiling. "I'm tired of take out and he's a great cook. He's responsible for the flabs in my tummy." he stuck his tongue out at Jou, playfully.
"S'not my fault yer gobblin' up my cookin', now is it?" the chef teased back. He then directed his attention to the cans of mushroom. "Hey chibi-Kaiba we all set?"
The cans parted and out came the tiny replica of the CEO, in the same butterball suit as his Owner and a chef's hat of the right size plopped on his head.
Jou laughed, delighted. "Looks good on you, buddy."
The CEO eyed his counterpart. "..."
"It's a chef suit?"
"I know that, mutt. I meant WHY is he wearing that? And where did you get the outfit anyway?"
The blond blushed. "Well, I thought it would be kinda cool to have matching wearables y'know? I asked Anzu and Dice-boy for help with the stuff and yeah... 'sides it kinda gets boring staring at the white trenchcoat... uh no offense, Kaib'."
"Hmm."
"Hey, Mokie, what's that yellow stuff sticking out of you jacket pocket?" Jou inquired, as he leaned toward a mop of wheat colored fur.
Hazel eyes widened and there came a puff of defeat from the tween. "Note to self: new hiding place for mini-pets." he mumbled before digging in and revealing the blond something. "I guess this was a long time coming anyway."
Kaiba uttered disbelievingly. "Don't tell me..."
"Hey, it's not my fault, 'niisan! You pre-ordered him for me, so this time I get to keep him." Mokuba whined, patting the chibi-Egyptian on his head with an index finger.
"Uh... which one is he?" the blond cook asked, wary. "No offense... had enough of the nutters, y'know."
"None taken. This is chibi-Malik."
The mini-Tombkeeper looked up with innocent, hopeful lavender eyes, before waving a little. "He says it's nice to meet you." its Owner translated. Mokie cast an unsure glance at his brother. He was slightly afraid that his brother would steal his mini-pet away from him again, so he made a beeline for the entertainment room to get it together and formulate a "Keep-Chibi-Malik-Plan" if need be.
Seto Kaiba wavered as he followed his brother with his gaze. He had been waiting to patch things up with Mokie, but he was slightly apprehensive of leaving Jou alone in his kitchens.
He watched the blond chef going about his business; the mutt's little elf dashing over the marble countertops, pushing and shoving utensils in place. His chibi-self must have sensed his gawking, for it looked up, with beady little eyes that impossibly narrowed further.
The small thing stopped its work, stood up arrogantly with feet spread wide apart. With a mocking grin, it raised its right hand and shooed its Original.
A vein popped up on Seto's forehead. "You little SNOT!?"
"What?! Kaiba? What the hell's eatin' you??!!!" shocked, and a slightly injured Jou whined at him.
"Not YOU." Kaiba growled as he hastened to Chibi-Kaiba's post. "I was referring to this insuferrable asshole!"
And Jou just had to laugh at that. "It really is amazing how ya' can describe yerself so perfectly, ya bastard!"
"Quiet, mutt!!!"
The threat galvanized Chibi-Kaiba further as he madly gestured his thoughts to his Original.
"Don't speak to MY Owner that way!" Jou voiced out, making his voice squeaky enough so that it would be appropriate for Chibi-Kaiba's size. "Besides, even if you're the Original, you're still much more of an insufferable asshole than me!!"
Seto could only gape at him. The blond just shrugged.
"Twas' kinda unfair for ya to yellin' at someone without a voice ya know, I just sorta evened the odds..."
"... Sometimes Jounouchi... sometimes..." Kaiba mumbled while shaking his head in amazement. His previous rage was apparently forgotten. Jou had to be either cute or stupid.. and right now, Kaiba neither had the mental nor emotional will power to differentiate the two.
"Since yer little warfare is over, scooch over to Mokie and talk, ok? He's great and all, but he's eatin' us outta house and home."
Kaiba raised a brow. "So that's where he sneaks off to during meal times. Out of house and home you say." he kept his voice neutral. "I shall be prepared to properly reimburse whatever Mo ---"
And Chibi-Kaiba was doing some sort of seizure-like dance. It crossed his arms and shook its head frantically.
"It's ok, Kaiba. I like cooking for mah friends. It's one thing I'm really good at. And I like makin' them happy." there was a rosy flush on those tan cheeks.
His smaller self flopped down in obvious relief. He lay down comfortably, but gave his Original two thumbs up.
The CEO left with a short "Hn", seemingly unaffected. But inside he felt warm.
It's not everyday that your "mortal enemy" indirectly declared you a friend worth slaving away in the kitchens for and actually mean it.
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Several things alerted the lax CEO to the fact that lunch was taking an incredibly long time to be served. He had already had a heart to heart with his brother; agreed to have Chibi-Malik around PROVIDED the thing didn't go ballistic and now, his tummy was growling with need.
He frowned, heading for the kitchen.
Not even a whiff of anything being cooked.
No sign of the mutt either.
The lines on his handsome face deepened sourly.
Was this some sort of gag from the mutt? he wondered. If it was, retribution would be swift, brutal and unmerciful...
And the silver-gilded salt shaker that smashed his foot was swift, brutal and unmerciful as well.
Swallowing his urge to scream obscenities, regal blue eyes blazed at his mini-self. "What was THAT for?" he rumbled deep in his throat.
Chibi-Kaiba was in a quandary. His stubborn Original refused to learn Chibi-speak and now he had no idea how to convey that his Owner was in trouble. Throwing away its composure, it jumped up and down; his face pinched and his tiny self tense. It flapped its arms in the direction of the walk-in refridgerator.
"I wish these things could just SPEAK!" Kaiba rubbed his temples. "It would save most of us the trouble." He eyed his tiny self again. "what was it? In the cooler??"
The tiny pet let out a huff as it waggled its head furiously.
"Well why didn't you say so in the first place?" Its Original grinned waspishly, knowing his words would irk the chibi.
Kaiba sauntered until he heard a weak whimper, coming directly from behind the steel door of his walk-in cooler. "JOU?! Mutt! "
Hurriedly, the tall brunet yanked open the heavy door, his reflexes allowing him to catch the shaking blond.
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Both Kaibas (well two and a pint-sized one) were glad that the incident with Jou hadn't been serious. The blond hadn't known that the Kaiba-patented meat locker automatically sealed itself after 15 mintues and had thus walked in into the slightly constricting space looking for some ground pork; spaced out and unaware that he took longer than he should.
Of course Jou's reaction to the rather humorous experience didn't add up.
Huddled over a fire in the middle of the pluch Kaiba den, swaddled in comforters and drowned in Chibi-Kaiba's kisses and coos was one STILL shivering blond chef.
The brunet frowned as a sudden thought entered his mind. It had been at least 30 minutes already and the mutt was still "zoned". Sure being swamped by bloodied animal flesh for a few minutes wasn't a pleasant experience, but enough was enough... the dog was probably milking this experience for all it was worth.
Kaiba had even smooshed his manly pride and held unto the butter-yellow-mutt. That was of course, to keep the other boy warm.
... moving on.
The frown evolved into something darker.
It wouldn't be the first time an... acquaintance... exaggerated certain accidents just so they could sue him for millions.
Jou looked up at him with apologetic eyes, as if hearing him. "Thanks, Kaib'. And I'm really sorry for ruinin' lunch. I'll promise I'll make it up to ya guys, ok?" He bowed his shaggy head and shrunk into the blankets more, while running his finger over Chibi-Kaiba's head every now and then.
Seriously,the rich man just had to ask if the little clingy, whiny snot, was a copy of him. The CEO had half a mind to flay Pegasus for this!
Seto Kaiba would never in a million years enjoy the mutt's intimate carresses on his person.
EVER!!!!!
Of course holding Jou was another matter entirely...
Fueled by his inane thoughts, Kaiba was about to make a spectacularly harsh comment when his little brother traipsed in, his Chibi-Malik comfortable perched on his rat's nest of a hair; in his grasp two big boxes of pizza and a liter of soda. "Hey, Jou, you had a bad scare didn't you? How are you feeling now?"
"I'm fine, Mokie. Thanks fer askin'." The blond was going to say more; opening and closing his mouth a few times before gulping. "I know I'm over-reactin' and stuff... but I'm kinda afraid of small spaces... and yeah..."
Both brothers blinked.
This was new.
Jou was claustrophobic.
And the elder Kaiba was really glad that he hadn't chewed the mutt's head off. Phobias were something he could whole heartedly relate to.
Chibi-Malik suddenly stood up from his seat, slid down Mokie's jump-shorts and unto the floor. He began jiggling here and there; fast to agitated. The tiny Tomb-Keeper pointed an accusing finger at Kaibe before letting its mouth fall into a grim line.
Two disbelieving eyes stared at the impassive CEO.
"What?" Kaiba demanded.
Mokuba spoke. "Nii-sama, you didn't!!"
"I demand to see mini-me right now!!" Angry brown eyes flashed.
"Fine. Go ahead, mutt." The tallest of the them answered nonchalantly. "Second floor, 7th door on the right." He calmly crossed his arms and sent wave after wave of death threats at the tiny tattle-tale.
Jounouchi, in a flash, bounded up the stairs, growling about "stupid rich moneybags with Frankenstein tendencies". Mokuba followed too, making sure to grab both Chibi-Kaiba and Chibi-Malik.
The smart brunet knew what they were thinking as he docilely followed them to his not-so-secret lab.
What if Jounouchi's claustrophobia carried over to his tiny replica?
And if it did prove true, then the Mini-pets were more revolutionary than Kaiba first thought.
Anticipation pooled in the CEO's guts.
The previous warm, fuzzy and slightly guilty feelings sailed away freely from his analytic mind.
He just had to find out!
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DAMN Kaiba and his information hungry ways!!!!
Sorry if it took so look... but I just really couldn't find the necessary inspiration to continue... and I was in a funk because I think the previous chapter wasn't all that good.
Anyway, please read and review!!!!