Series Title: The Conversation
Title: How It Began
Rated: G.
Disclaimer: I do not own these guys. They are all GL's.
Genre: Alternate Universe. Happy ending.
Pairing: O/A, mentions P/A (well, you kinda have to, all things considered.)
Author's Notes: Belongs in the same universe as the "Deconstructing Skywalker and Kenobi" series.
Summary: Anakin has a very important question to ask of a certain Jedi Master…once his son is out of the way that is.

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Yoda watched for a few minutes more then turned and hobbled away. Obi-Wan made a move to join him and he shook his head, negating that choice. "To Skywalker, you should speak. Many things to discuss have you before peace both of you shall find."

"Yes, Master Yoda," Obi-Wan murmured, unsure and a little frightened to be left alone with Anakin-a feeling he had not been expecting at all.

"To you both, an apology I owe. But what words you have for him, now should be spoken," Yoda counseled him, smiling a little sheepishly before fading away.

Anakin watched his son but listened to them with half an ear. Hearing Obi-Wan approach after Yoda departed, he faced the older man and took in his appearance. "Have you always looked like this?"

"Every single one of these white hairs has been honestly earned watching over your son-and worrying over you," he replied calmly.

"Do you have to look like that? Is that why, when I returned to the light, I look young?" he idly asked.

"We appear as we wish to."

"You wish to look like a crazy old hermit?" he teased, his hand making an aborted move towards him.

Obi-Wan smiled, seeing the gesture for what it was. "Your son knows me best in this form."

"So, it's for my son that you choose to hide yourself away from the world. Master, when will you ever let them see the real you?"

"This is the real me," he gently reminded him. "I am going to rest in the Force. My work among the living-specifically that which relates to your son-has not yet finished."

"Did you mean it?"

The question stopped Obi-Wan cold.

He froze in mid step, his heart painfully tightening as he stood there, unmoving. It could mean anything, this one simple question he asked, but Obi-Wan knew that it related to but one thing.

There was only one thing Anakin would wish to know about.

It could only mean Mustafar and what had transpired between them that horrible day. More specifically, to what Obi-Wan had said that nightmarish day-the very last thing he'd said to him before turning away, tears nearly blinding him in their constant stream down his cheeks.

There were no words forthcoming to explain it away or to answer the question and so, it hung between them as he stayed where he was, tongue tied and shy, looking anywhere but back at Anakin. There wasn't even a hope that he could force out an 'I don't know what you're talking about,' for there was no way to erase his reaction to the question

It was all he could do to not move for all that he wanted to flee, to turn and embrace his friend, to scream at him and ask why, to hold and be held. And it could not be for that was not what they were anymore-they no longer had the familiarity of the ages between them that granted him that privilege.

Silence stretched between them, taunt and terribly ready to shatter at the lightest of touches.

As in the past when he spoke of them, he could not find the words to speak. Swallowing, he tried to come up with something to say, anything to take away this horrid feeling of disconnection that had sprung up between them once again. To keep Anakin from shattering away from him again.

He couldn't bear it if he lost him again because of his own, stupid emotions.

"Because I didn't," Anakin spoke into the silence, sparing him momentarily. "I did not mean a word I said to you."

"Yes, you did. You have never lied about your feelings," he hoarsely said, unwilling to play along with what had to be an illusion.

Anakin's head shook and he moved, standing in front of his friend and mentor, the man who was his anchor and his light. "Hate is only love twisted upon itself, Obi-Wan," he softly said. "I could not feel such a thing for you if my love for you was not so great that I knew you could save me. Vader feared you-and rightly so-because you could've destroyed the both of us. If you had only spoken up sooner, none of this would've happened."

"What are you saying? My emotions damned you," he cried out, anguished. Unwilling to look him in the eyes, unable to bear the weight of their finality.

"Your emotions saved me," he countered firmly, grabbing hold of him when he would have turned away from him in utter, confused agony at these words he spoke. The shame of his Master stung him, cut into his soul, far more than words could tell. "Master, my Obi-Wan, how is it that you could not know how I felt? What I felt for you? When I think of all those times I saved you, what I did as Vader to try to hate you-I don't understand how you could think that nothing you could do would save me. Why didn't you even attempt to save me with words that would've broken through the haze of hate? How could you not hear me screaming at you that I loved you?"

"How could I hear you say that when the woman you loved, when Padmé could not save you?" The anguished cry tore free from Obi-Wan's lips, though he tried to stop them from escaping.

"Padmé?" Anakin repeated, disbelieving. Though he had known it was coming-this specter of his late wife-he had not expected to face it so soon. There was no question in his mind as to the importance she had in his life-and yes, he loved her. She was his Angel and the keeper of his world outside away from the Jedi Order. But she was not his soul-that was Obi-Wan.

Always would be. And if he could not get him to see that, how would he bear eternity in the Force-forever near him but always held away?

Always held apart?

"Yes, Padmé. Your wife and the woman you did all of this for," he bitterly spat at him, pulling away from him to walk away. To stare off into the distance, shielded from Anakin's penetrating glance by the hazy mist cast by the fires burning. "You do remember her, don't you?"

"Of course I do. I could never forget my angel-but you were my reality. I did all of this because I was afraid for her, yes. Afraid I would lose my refuge away from the world of the Jedi-and because you were not there when I needed you. I know better now. No," he shook his head, refuting his own words easily. "I have the courage to speak of what I should have then. All I've ever really needed-and desired truly-is you. I still need you. Even as Vader I needed you with me."

"You don't know what you're saying," he denied, shaking his head as he stared into the sky.

"I've never been more clear about anything in my whole life," Anakin softly replied, coming up behind him. "And I will spend the rest of eternity proving myself to you. You, Obi-Wan Kenobi, are my light and my soul. I love you."

"You can't mean that."

"But I do-and you cannot deny it any longer, Master. I love you," he reiterated, arms catching hold of him and pulling him closer to him. But still, they stayed apart so that he could focus on keeping their gazes locked tightly. "You know this truth-know it as irrefutable truth. I love you."

"I…I cannot know this."

"Yes, you can," Anakin softly corrected, gathering him into his arms and pulling him close. Peace washed over him, filling him up in effortlessly soothing waves. "At last, you can know this. It is all right to love, Master. It is all right to love me as I love you, my Obi-Wan."

"I…I…Anakin…" Obi-Wan stopped, he couldn't say it. He just couldn't say those words. This was not real, this-what was between them now-couldn't possibly be real.

With his face buried in his Master's soft hair, Anakin waited patiently. Though it tore into him to wait for his Master to come to grips with what was happening now, to be patient after all this time, Anakin could do no less. This was for Obi-Wan's happiness as well as his own. He could not force a confession from him-nor could he soothe over a lack of one-if they were to be truly happy and content.

He loved this man and would wait for however long it took for Obi-Wan to come to terms with what they had. He would wait because what he was asking of his Master was a defiance of all that he knew himself to be, of all that he had accepted of his life. Obi-Wan was a Jedi of an older mold for all that he had bent over the years.

He was still a Jedi, this choice had to be his and his alone.

Breathing softly, Obi-Wan waited, tensely in his arms for Anakin to pull away from him. Pull away because of his continued silence. It was the only thing the younger man could possibly do under the circumstances. If he remained still, remained silent, then Anakin had nothing to hold out for. Nothing for which to grasp onto and build up a questionable reality for them to live in.

And yet, he could not stop the faint beating of his heart that held out hope for a future with him, that said it was possible for them.

It hurt to think that this was possible, that it was within his grasp-if he only had the courage to reach out and grab it. To admit to the truth of a love that couldn't be denied, couldn't be doubted, that lived within his soul still. The Force had never been silent about this reality, the viability of their love for one another.

Time was timeless to them. They had all the time in the universe now-did he really want to waste it in fear? Could he really have this? Have Anakin? This piece of heaven that he longed for in life but was to afraid would prove false? Would prove to be one more thing that he was unworthy of?

Trembling arms rose and embraced the taller man finally, admitting shyly, "I…Anakin, I did not mean what I said on Mustafar. I…I was in error in my speaking to you. What I should've said was that I…I lo…love you. Not loved, because I could never stop feeling love for you. I tried for so long to do so but never could quite do it." The words were stuttered and got quieter with every single admission before he finally came to a complete stop, fearing Anakin's reaction.

Fearing that, even now, this would all prove to be some horrendously evil joke. That he would at last lose the only one he'd ever given every part of his heart and soul to for he could never be rewarded for what happened to his beloved, to the Galaxy, and to the Jedi Order.

Anakin's shout of triumphant laughter was the last thing he expected to hear.

Making quite sure that his son was nowhere to be seen, Anakin tilted Obi-Wan's face up to his and smiled, "You have no idea how long I've ached to hear those words spoken to me by you. You denied me this love in life-a love that was completely blessed by the Force."

"Anakin," he whispered, breaking into his words, shamed. Trying to move away from that hand, that steady hand that had aided him, healed him, helped him…he could not meet those eyes.

Holding his face steady, Anakin would not let him look away from him. Not for one more second would he be denied this. "No, don't look away from me. Don't you dare look away from me. No more shame or regrets, my beloved Master. We are right where we belong-and I, for one, will not waste another precious second in regrets. Yes, we shall have to deal with the specter of the past and Padmé and my children and the Empire and everything else. But for now, we will have us-as it should be. As it has always been and always will be."

And then he kissed him because nothing could have stopped him from doing so.

Plus, he just knew that Obi-Wan was going to tease him about how much like a sappy holo-novel Anakin sounded like.