Bo sighed and rolled onto his back as he stared up at the ceiling in the darkness. He absolutely loved Christmas with all the decorations, friendly Christmas spirit and just all round feeling of goodwill and festivity that radiated from everyone, including Boss Hogg when he had a mind.
But this year he felt different…not about putting up the decorations or anything like that, that he enjoyed with the same childish wonder and merriment as he always had done on the Duke Farm…no, this year he was worried about something much more important…something he had never really considered before until Daisy had accidentally pointed it out to him.
Every year, the duke cousins brought each other and their Uncle a special present each, sometimes it could only be small, sometimes big and sometimes hand made depending on how much money any one of them had….but no matter what it was…the one who always seemed to have the perfect gifts for everyone else all the time was Luke. Bo didn't know how Luke always knew what to get him when he never even asked and nor did Daisy, all they both knew and were discussing the night before was that he always did and every year he always brought a smile to everyone's face with them.
And so, Bo had made a resolve to do the same this year, to raise his game and step into his older cousin's shoes….but he found that raising that game was harder than he could have ever anticipated. Nothing that Bo could think of was ever really suitable for Luke…he had found wonderful gifts for Uncle Jesse and had made Daisy her very own little wooden comb, lovingly inscribed with the words To Daisy, Love Always, Bo xxx. That had been easy to figure out as Daisy had been complaining for some time that she was without a comb since her last one had broken, and Bo was just itching to carve something. So he had done, smoothing it for days on end till not only was he sure the finished product was as smooth as could be but so were his fingers. But Luke….god Luke was so much more difficult.
He looked over now to his older cousin sleeping soundly in his bed, undisturbed by haunted dreams of the past or bad memories…just lying blissfully unaware of anything around him as he dreamt happily in sleep. Bo loved his older cousin like a brother and everyone who knew them knew that, and he knew Luke did too….but he wanted this year to get Luke something which would really show him that, give him a symbol of all the good times they had had together and the bad times they had supported each other through…there just seemed to be nothing on the earth that could hold the treasure that was his brotherly bond with his older cousin in a symbol that Luke could keep.
Sighing he got up from his bed, knowing he wouldn't get any more sleep for a while when his head was so full of thoughts. Quietly, he pulled his trousers on and slipped his robe over his shoulders, wrapping it around him and walking out their bedroom to the sound of Luke's gentle breathing. As he got to the living room, Bo couldn't help but stop and look around, smiling like a little kid when he saw all the decorations glittering in the moonlight that shone through the windows, catching the tinsel on the tree and making it shimmer like his own little stars in the dark night sky.
He didn't know how long he stood there for, just looking with childish fascination around the room, before his legs finally decided to move and carry him out to the barn, breathing in the crisp, cold night air as he settled into a pile of hay, wriggling down in it until he could see nothing but hay around him. He loved laying like this, breathing in the mix of fresh hay, farm animals and the clear Georgia air…it helped to clear his jumble of thoughts and make him think that little more clearly.
But no sooner had he relaxed and started to think again, he was interrupted by a soft voice at the door of the barn.
"Bo….I saw ya come in here…where are ya?"
He sat up and shook the hay from his hair, sighing gently with a smile as he saw Luke leaning against the doorframe. With a small wave to him, he shifted over so Luke could sit down beside him in the warmth, which the older cousin did, wrapping his arm around Bo's shoulders and squeezing softly.
"So…what's botherin' ya?"
Bo chuckled a little and looked down at his lap, shaking his head. Luke was never really one for small talk, straight down to business quickly and efficiently was his way of dealing with things a great deal of the time….but still he always managed to deal with many problems in a calm, but sensitive nature. Any plans he devised included as many of those who wanted to help as possible and Bo knew he always worried about each and every one who was involved as the plan got under way. He could see why Luke had become a Marine Sergeant during his time in 'Nam, even if he hadn't understood him leaving in the first place.
"Ain't nothin' really Luke….just got a lot to think about at the moment."
He watched as Luke nodded and let the two just sit side by side in silence for a little while, looking out the door and to the twinkling stars in the sky, before speaking again.
"Well cousin….the more you get off your mind the better you'll sleep….and if yer sleepin' real well on Christmas Eve ya know Santa's gonna come and bring yer presents."
"Yeah, yeah…my lumps of coal right?"
Both boys shared a chuckle at that. Bo had believed in Santa longer than any kid his age. In fact, he had believed it right up until Luke had left for the Marine's and suddenly he had no one to believe in him with and he was forced to see the truth behind the stories that Luke always told him when they were younger…that they were just stories….that any present that arrived in the house and under the tree were from the ones that loved him the most, given out of the kindness of their hearts with a love that could survive through most anything.
"C'mon cousin…what's bugging you?"
Bo sighed softly and frowned, trying to think of a way to voice his problem without giving the game away that he hadn't actually gotten Luke's present yet when Christmas was just a few days away. In the end he found that he really didn't know how else to put it, knowing Luke would see straight through any other explanation he tried to give and would hurt to know Bo didn't trust him to be able to handle something like this.
"It's….Luke to be honest…I haven't got yer Christmas present yet…I just don't know what to get you…every year you give me and Daisy and Jesse something so amazing…I wanted to do that for you this year, find the perfect gift without askin' ya what you wanted…but I just can't do it…I'm real sorry…"
For a moment, there was nothing but silence and Bo found himself glancing worriedly to his older cousin, scared that he had hurt Luke…but was surprised to find him smiling and shaking his head slowly before turning to Bo and hugging him closer.
"Bo…you have already given me the perfect gift…"
Bo frowned, not understanding.
"I did?"
Luke nodded softly, rubbing Bo's back gently and smiling into Bo's golden blonde hair.
"Yep….22 years ago…"
Bo's frown deepened as he shook his head, still not understanding and looking at Luke as though he had gone off his rocker.
"Luke…I was just…what…6 months old then…"
Luke chuckled, never ceasing to be amazed by Bo's innocence that, like everything else around this time of season, was so child-like. Christmas always brought this side out of Bo, the young boy that still lived inside the golden heart of the 22 year old being freed to heighten everyone else's spirits…the one time of year when Luke could feel like he truly was himself and not part Marine like he felt practically every other day of his life.
"Yeah Bo….ya were….just a small bundle of tears, drool, smelly diapers and noise."
Bo pouted and shook his head.
"Well thanks a lot…"
Luke laughed properly, holding him close and giving him a gentle noogie before releasing him at Bo's protestations and continuing with his explanation.
"Seriously Bo…at first that's all ya were to me…but every year you grew a little bit more…played with me more…grew alongside me and comforted me in a way no one else could when I was hurt, sick or just feeling low. You were so innocent…and willing to just give me a hug because you wanted it and I could feel no shame in accepting it and giving you one back…after my parents died I shut myself away Bo…I didn't allow myself to love because I was scared that anyone I did allow in would be snatched from me….but you never were Bo…you were the first person I opened myself to and you accepted me with open arms and you never left. Not even in 'Nam, you never left my heart and neither did Daisy or Uncle Jesse….that Christmas that you came to us Bo, you gave me the best present anyone could ever ask for….you gave me love, hope for the future and the ability to be a part of a family again….but more importantly…you gave me back the baby brother I had lost in Judd…you gave me yourself Bo, unconditionally…and every year you just keep on giving. The best present you can give me on Christmas, Bo, is waking up in the morning and bouncing on my bed, singing Christmas carols with me by the fire and sneakin' some of Uncle Jesse's finest out in the barn before we go to bed…just give me you Bo….that's all I'll ever need from you…always…."
By the end of Luke's speech, Bo just sat speechless by his brother. At some point, his hand had slipped into Luke's and his other arm had snaked round Luke's waist. As Luke looked over his baby brother, he saw those blue eyes he so adored looking over him amazed, shining with tears. Luke went to say something more but Bo just shook his head, not wanting to ruin the peaceful moment between them, not wanting to hear anything else but that speech replay inside his head over and over again as he lurched forward and wrapped both arms around Luke's shoulders, hugging him close.
And that was how Jesse and Daisy found them the next morning, curled up together in the sunlight of the barn, resting atop the pile of hay. The older hugged the younger close to his middle where Bo lay curled into a small ball, arm resting underneath his head which was leant back against Luke's chest. Jesse smiled softly, how many times had he walked into their bedroom and seen just that after a rough night of nightmares or illness…it didn't happen so much anymore, both men being grown…but then again, Christmas brought out the big kid in everyone, and the big kids in Bo and Luke brought out the best in their brotherly bond and would give Jesse memories like this one for many, many years to come.
Slowly, he and Daisy walked over as both boys stirred and knelt beside them in the hay, Daisy kneeling to Luke and Jesse to Bo, all four of them smiling at each other as the whole family bundled together for a hug. Bo had never felt happier, squashed between all the members of his family, and finally knowing what to get Luke for Christmas…the same thing he had always given…his love and support, good times and bad…and possibly a pair of socks if he was lucky.