Preface: It was an accident. That's all it was—simply an accident. Unforeseen and uncontrollable, yet the only thing I've ever wanted and the best occurrence I could have hoped for.
Edward's place at my side was some sort of miracle, one that I could never get over, no matter how much time I spent with him. To think that I would ever grow accustomed to his beauty, to everything that made him who he was...the suggestion was laughable.
Day after day he sat next to me in my classes. That was one thing that didn't change between us, something that Charlie couldn't alter with his punishments.
That, and of course his perfection. I was just as plain as ever in comparison. Except for the one extraordinary, enviable thing about me—that I had him.
I just wanted him forever. And I was very impatient, afraid that the opportunity would slip between my fingers. Who could blame me?
What did change was the ever-constant argument about my transformation. Now that I had set a date with Carlisle, Edward was no longer persistent about the issue of me remaining human. He knew how stubborn I was.
I stopped bringing it up. Though it was inevitable, I knew it brought him pain that I would lose what he thought of as my eternal soul. The only eternity I could imagine was with him.
He pestered me about the marriage, though he merely mentioned the vows and not the other promise. He knew it was the one thing I would never agree to. How to explain it to my mother? My father?
They would most certainly want to be there, though Renee would no doubt argue with me as I stood at the altar.
The altar…I gulped whenever I thought of it. I could just imagine Alice going overboard on the whole affair, treating me once more like the Little Peggy Dress-Up Doll and spending far too much money on a dress that would be far to elegant for me.
All that attention. I knew it would not be a small wedding. Edward would see to it that all of Forks would attend—just to deter me from my goal.
I had many reasons for not marrying Edward, and only one to actually go through with it.
But that single reason was weighted more than any other could be.
I wanted him. I would always want him, and nothing but him. Although he knew that, many times over, it still did not change the fact. I felt like reminding him every second of the day that I was in love with him.
If I was going to be with him forever, I wanted him to be the cause of it. I wanted him to change me. I wanted every aspect of my life to revolve around him. My world revolved around him already, so it only seemed fitting that he should be the one.