Title: Much Madness Is Divinest Sense
Author: CocoaSnape
Warnings: An overabundance of humor and good-natured fun. Oh, and I suppose some slash and language as well.
Summary: The war is over and Albus Dumbledore can finally profess his feelings to Severus Snape. Determined, however, not to jeopardize their friendship, Albus begins with a series of subtle advances designed to hint at his intentions. But when these attempts fail, he resorts to extreme methods to determine if the feelings are reciprocated. He takes a young lover in the hopes of spinning Severus into a jealous frenzy.
Acknowledgements: To my beta and partner, M...who, as always, does way too much for me. She's the Albus in my life.
Special thanks also to Snape's Nightie for brit-picking this fic for me.
Notes: This story ignores HBP canon. This story was written for the Albus Dumbledore/Severus Snape Buggering Bee, part of the Snapledore Carnal Carnival, in response to the following challenge: Snape and Dumbledore exchange correspondence (Challenge by Delphi.)
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Much Madness Is Divinest Sense
by CocoaSnape
Albus Dumbledore was not a man easily frustrated. He was a man who valued reflection and fortitude, and it had been these attributes, among others, that had enabled the Order of the Phoenix to win the war against Voldemort six months ago. Now Dumbledore had a new problem, one that he had approached with similar care. However, after many months of subtle hints and gentle advances, his patience was beginning to wear thin. Albus Dumbledore was frustrated to say the least.
His 'problem,' quite simply defined, was that he was in love with Severus Snape. He had been for quite some time in fact, but pursuing this matter had never been a consideration up until now. The war had been an all-consuming effort, occupying Dumbledore's days and nights and every moment in between. In addition, Severus's work as a spy for the Order had made Dumbledore reluctant to make an advance sooner – he did not want to burden Severus with anything else he would have to keep secret from Voldemort.
But all that had changed six months ago, and Dumbledore had set about determining if Severus shared a similar interest in him. He'd tried nearly everything he could think of to gauge Severus's feelings – everything except actually asking him outright. Although that would have been the simplest option, Dumbledore worried about the possible repercussions of upsetting his rather reserved Potions Master. He and Severus had been very good friends for years now, a friendship that he valued above all others, one that he could not bear to damage or even lose because of an unwelcome advance.
So Dumbledore approached the situation with a cautious step. He began by increasing the frequency of the invitations he extended Severus to tea, from biweekly to once weekly. It was subtle to be sure, but having had regular tea once every two weeks for nearly 17 years now, Dumbledore felt certain Severus would get the hint. He had been wrong. In response, he bumped up his invitations to twice a week, and then to three times a week. But still, Severus had made no indication he found this unusual. He simply accepted, as he always did.
Feeling humbled, but not beaten, Dumbledore changed his strategy. He realized he needed something bold, something new. And so, for the first time ever, he'd asked Severus to forego the Great Hall and have dinner privately with him in his quarters. Severus had been somewhat taken aback by the invitation, but had accepted. And Dumbledore was certain that he had finally successfully conveyed his sentiments. But several dinners later, it seemed that he was, once again, mistaken. They ate, they talked, and that was it.
Truth be told, despite the lack of romance, Dumbledore enjoyed the dinners immensely. The time spent with Severus was wonderful. Sometimes after dinner, they'd play chess or even go for a walk by the lake. They talked about almost everything of importance, but oddly enough, it was their conversations about the inane that pleased Dumbledore the most – he could not remember when he and Severus had ever had time for that. Dumbledore relished every moment, learning things about his Potions Master he never knew. He fondly remembered the childlike glee on Severus's face when he'd asked him to explain his research projects in detail. Though these dinners did not bring about the result Dumbledore had intended, they did serve to further reinforce the fact that he was in love with Severus – now more deeply than ever before.
Dumbledore had originally been so encouraged by Severus's presence at tea and their private dinners, he'd completely ignored (intentionally perhaps) what was now seeming like the most likely possibility – that Severus was interested…in being very good friends with him and nothing more. And Dumbledore thought that perhaps it was time to give up, to stop thinking about what might be, and simply enjoy the friendship he had with Severus. But he decided, being the thorough and persistent Gryffindor he was, to give it one more chance.
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Dumbledore had thought long and hard about how to indicate his romantic interest to Severus without making an overt advance. An idea had come to him some time ago – a ridiculous, outlandish idea – one he knew he would never actually go through with. He had settled instead on another dinner, this time in London. Given the dramatic change in venue, Dumbledore had thought that this would be enough to make the intent of the invitation obvious. Needless to say, things had not gone according to plan.
And now here he was, a few hours away from his crazy idea becoming a reality. Had he lost his mind? Most definitely, Dumbledore thought. He blamed it on that maddening dinner and the events that followed – they had provoked him into going through with this outrageous plan. He glanced at his watch anxiously, as he waited for his guest to arrive, and thought about the evening with Severus that had pushed him over the edge.
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"Would you like to have dinner with me in London tomorrow night, Severus?" Dumbledore asked, keeping his voice deceptively calm.
"London?" Severus repeated, his expression shifting into obvious surprise.
"Yes," Dumbledore replied unruffled,but very pleased that he had engendered such a reaction. At this point, any reaction was a good sign. "I've been hearing exquisite things about this new Mediterranean restaurant. Good food, great atmosphere…would you care to join me?" Dumbledore asked, holding his breath slightly.
Severus took a moment before replying coolly, "I think I heard Minerva mentioning something about it. Is it near Boylston Street?"
"Yes."
"Oh perfect," Severus continued. "There's an Apothecary near by. I'm completely out of bat wings."
Dumbledore should have known then that Severus's reply would only be a prelude of things to come. Dinner was an equally ambiguous event, leaving Dumbledore at a complete loss of how to interpret Severus's attitude. Severus gave no indication that he viewed this dinner differently than any of the others. Dumbledore knew he was on the edge of desperation when he delighted in Severus's comment, however minimal, about his robes.
"Are those new robes you're wearing, Albus?"
"Yes they are. How very kind of you to notice, Severus. Do you like them?"
"They are very…colorful."
Looking at his dinner companion, Dumbledore was growing tired of this tiptoeing act. How much he wanted to reach across that table and take Severus's hand in his own! But he knew there would be no going back from that. Instead, he clenched his water glass tighter and continued with the conversation.
When the bill arrived, Dumbledore lingered over his dessert to see what Severus would do. Severus continued to drink his wine, ignoring it completely.
Perfect, Dumbledore thought. Progress at last. He reached for the bill and examined it, only to have Severus cut through his triumphant feeling a moment later.
"I had the more expensive dish, I believe. I'll get the tip in addition to my half."
"Severus, it's fine. I'd be more than happy to get this."
"Nonsense," Severus replied firmly, reaching into his pocket for his portion of the bill.
Disappointed, but determined not to let his last attempt slip by, he asked Severus up to his quarters for a nightcap when they arrived back at Hogwarts. Could his overtures be any more obvious?
As Severus took his usual seat on the sitting room couch, Dumbledore decided to forego the lounge chair he always selected, and took the seat right next to Severus.
"Is this alright, Severus?" Dumbledore asked significantly as he sat down.
"Why wouldn't it be?" Severus replied, a slightly confused look on his face.
Dumbledore struggled hard not to scream and pressed on, "Do you have any plans this summer?"
"Well, I have this new project I'm starting. I've begun the preliminary research into—"
Dumbledore interrupted, "I didn't mean research-wise, Severus. I meant plans for relaxation. This is your first free summer in a long time, you should take advantage of that and go on holiday."
"Oh?"
"Have you ever been to Australia?"
"No."
"I myself was thinking of going there for a few weeks this summer."
No response.
"What do you think of that?" Dumbledore asked, doing his level best to make it sound like an invitation.
Severus hesitated a long moment before replying, "I'm sure you'll enjoy it, Albus. I've heard very good things."
After Severus left, Dumbledore barely resisted the temptation to set his desk aflame.
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It was that disastrous evening that had left Dumbledore exasperated beyond belief. He had told himself he would give up and move on. And he would have, if Severus had looked at him and replied, 'I hate Australia,' or anything else resembling a rebuke. But Severus had been so unreadable, so impassive throughout the whole evening and for the months before.
Even Severus's decision to attend dinner in London with him had been an ambiguous one. It left Dumbledore wondering if Severus would have gone at all if he hadn't run out of bat wings. Had it been an excuse to accept or simply a convenient reason to go? For Merlin's sake! Dumbledore fumed mentally. His decision about whether to pursue a romantic relationship with Severus hinged on bat wings! This was ridiculous and unacceptable.
Dumbledore had indeed been prepared to drop matters, however regretfully, but he also recognized that unless he knew for certain whether Severus shared a similar interest in him, he would never be able to bury the idea from his mind.
Hence Dumbledore's plan. He knew it was a drastic measure, but he was truly desperate. He figured if he could take a lover, then maybe, just maybe, he could assess Severus's reaction to such a development.
However mad the idea seemed to Dumbledore, he couldn't shake the fact that it made some strange sort of sense. The plan had the distinct advantage of announcing his sexual orientation loud and clear to Severus, hopefully enabling Severus to read his advances differently, or rather, appropriately. The idea definitely had promise – especially since the summer was starting in one week and he could conduct his experiment without any students around.
Dumbledore glanced at his watch again. Andrew would be arriving in just a few minutes.
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Severus Snape remembered the first time he saw him – the blonde Adonis walking along the lake path with Dumbledore. As the pair turned and made their way back towards the castle, Dumbledore caught sight of him and waved a hand in hello. Severus grudging remained and waited as they approached, trying to disguise the fact that he was examining every detail of the man walking beside the Headmaster. He was very young, younger than himself, perhaps 30. He was tall, thin but muscular, clean-shaven with blonde hair, dressed in designer clothing, and, to Severus's consternation… positively stunning.
"Severus," Dumbledore began, "This is Andrew. He's…" a brief pause, "…staying with me. Andrew this is Severus. He's our Potions professor here at Hogwarts."
"Hello," Severus said, trying to make his voice as neutral as possible.
"Hi," Andrew said flippantly, barely sparing Severus a glance.
Dumbledore broke the awkward silence, "I was giving Andrew the tour. He's just arrived. But we must be going." Turning his attention his companion, Dumbledore said, "You must be hungry, Andrew."
"Yes, very," Andrew replied with a sly smile. Dumbledore smiled in return.
Severus tried not to stare as the two men walked away, but it was difficult. He could not help wondering who this mysterious man was – this very young, striking man. Of course he could have been a friend, but Severus was nothing if not observant. He saw the way Andrew had been staring at Dumbledore, leering almost. But what really sent Severus over the edge was the way he was sure Dumbledore seemed quite pleased with the attention.
Severus cursed himself silently as he headed back to the dungeons. Perhaps he'd been a fool all along. Over the past few months, he had come to think that Albus might be pursuing him – the tea invitations, the dinners in his quarters, and then the unexpected dinner in London. It was wonderful and he'd wanted to tell Albus as much that evening, but he'd hesitated. His suspicions were far from concrete, and Severus thought it was very possible that Dumbledore simply wanted to further their friendship. However much Severus wanted something more, he was determined not to ruin what the two men already shared.
In the first place, Severus knew it was quite the assumption to make, especially since he had no idea if Dumbledore even liked men. Not to mention how utterly humiliating it would be if he had indeed misinterpreted Albus's overtures. It would permanently mar their friendship. A friendship he treasured above all else.
And so Severus decided to wait and trust that if Albus felt as he did, he would say so. Now, given Andrew's presence, Severus wondered if he had imagined the events of the past few months, wishfully misinterpreting Albus's kindnesses and the celebratory mood after the war as something more.
You're overreacting. He's probably just a friend, Severus thought…and hoped.
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Dumbledore had been up for hours, having woken very early this Sunday morning. He had been thinking about Severus and the madness of his plan aimed at his Potions Master. He hadn't seen Severus since Andrew's arrival yesterday. The interaction had been uneventful, but then again, he reminded himself, Severus probably assumed that Andrew was just a friend.
Dumbledore had chosen Andrew because he was gorgeous by traditional standards, not to mention the fact that he was very young, which Dumbledore felt could only heighten any potential jealousy on Severus's part. But the primary reason he had chosen Andrew was because the young man was willing. Albus was surprised by how easy it had been. A very awkward floo conversation had ended with Andrew's delighted exclamation, "Uncle Albus, I'd be so happy to do this for you. Besides it's been a while since I've seen you. Rumor has it you've been quite busy saving the world."
Andrew was Albus's great great nephew and as good fortune had it, he had the summer off after successfully passing the Preliminary Qualifying Exam for his Charms Masters work. His plans for the coming months were to relax and do as little work as possible – a much needed break after having had his face buried in books for the better part of 5 years, not including his Wizarding education at the Beauxbatons Academy of Magic. Delighted to see his uncle and finally get the tour of Hogwarts Dumbledore had promised him for years, Andrew had gladly accepted the invitation to stay with him for a couple of days.
Dumbledore, who was still uncharacteristically dressed in his nightshirt and bathrobe, had been sitting at his desk for the better part of three hours thinking about how to subtly suggest to Severus that Andrew was more than just a friend. He'd discussed his dilemma with his nephew last night, but they had failed to come to a consensus. One thing Dumbledore knew for certain, he didn't want to do anything that might make Severus uncomfortable.
Dumbledore's thoughts were interrupted by a soft chime, which indicated that someone was ascending his staircase. He stood and tied off his robe. Who could possibly be disturbing him at 8:00 o'clock on a Sunday morning? The answer came to him before he even finished the question. Severus! Dumbledore cursed himself silently. They often had breakfast together in his quarters on Sundays. In all the stress of Andrew's visit, he had completely forgotten.
"Albus…" Severus began as he entered, stopping when he noticed that Dumbledore was not yet dressed. "Did I wake you?"
"No, Severus, not at all. I've been…up thinking for a while. I suppose I got distracted," Dumbledore began, his voice flustered. "I'm sorry, Severus. I completely forgot about breakfast. Perhaps we can reschedule for a more convenient—"
Dumbledore's explanation was interrupted by Andrew, who was descending from the upper level – his hair tussled, his robe hanging open, revealing his boxer shorts and bare chest. He spoke loudly, "Albus, are you coming back to bed or do I need to entice you with something to get you back in here?"
Dumbledore's mouth flew open and his cheeks reddened in embarrassment. What the hell was his nephew doing?!
Andrew stopped in his tracks when he caught Severus's eyes, which were now as wide as saucers. But in contrast to his uncle, Andrew did not appear at all flustered. If anything, his manner was quite the opposite, composed and calculating.
"Oh, hello," Andrew said very deliberately, staring directly at Severus.
The words may have been innocent enough, but Snape understood Andrew's meaning in his sudden swagger and the absurdly proud look on his face – he was saying, 'Yes, it's exactly what you think.' He barely suppressed the urge to hex Andrew right then and there.
Finding his powers of speech, Dumbledore began apologetically, "Severus—"
But Snape cut him off, "I apologize for interrupting you, Headmaster. I'll leave." He was out the door in a flash.
Dumbledore rounded on his nephew. "What the devil was that all about, Andrew?! I thought we were going to be subtle!"
"You wanted to be subtle. Trust me, uncle, that never works. Now, at least you know exactly what he thinks. You just have to try and gauge his reaction from here on out."
Dumbledore sat down and put his head in his hands and asked himself out loud, "What in Merlin's name am I doing? I've lost my mind."
"I think it's kind of romantic actually, in a weird sort of way," Andrew consoled. "I mean, if you don't want to risk just telling him how you feel outright, then I don't know what else you can do. Speaking of…I see what you mean, uncle, he's a tough one."
"That is an understatement." Dumbledore said with a sigh and then looked at his nephew. "Thank you, Andrew, for agreeing to do this – although I'm not so sure about your methods! I suppose I'll just have to muddle my way through the rest of it. I've imposed on your time enough already."
"It's no problem and actually, I wouldn't mind staying a bit longer. I told some friends of mine in London that I was here and they're coming to Hogsmeade next week. We're having a bit of a reunion party. And, I have another idea about how to help you with your Severus problem," Andrew said with a twinkle to rival Dumbledore's own.
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Author's Note: I hope you found this an enjoyable read and a welcome interlude from my typical high-angst fare. Updates on this story will be more rapid than usual, since its written and I'm only reviewing and making some minor corrections before I post. There will be 4 chapters in total. (And I'm already working on the sequel...so I really hope you all like this!)
For those of you waiting on Unexpected Grace, I humbly ask for your continued patience. I'm having a bit of a narrative crisis coupled with a decided lack of free time. But I am working on it!
I am very much looking forward to your comments on this - my first comedy and my first original character. The next chapter sees Andrew coming to meals in the Great Hall with Dumbledore. Hilarity ensues.
Please review.