Disclaimer: Naruto and everything associated don't belong to me, neither do the lyrics. I'm not claiming ownership of anyone's ideas. I'm just borrowing.

Basics: PG13/T, General/Drama/Romance/Angst, AU, (?) chapters

Warnings: Boy x boy love, boy x girl love, profanity, mild mature themes

Summary: Sasuke always did mean to leave Konoha, and that intention breaks Naruto's heart. But fate pulls a 180 and instead it is Naruto that leaves, and Sasuke is the heartbroken one.

Author's note 1: Hey. So sorry about the slow updates. I kept trying to jumpstart my several new stories... and I couldn't. I kept coming back to this... so, this one decided to insist that it had to be written.

So you better like it.

I kid, I swear.

X;

Counting the ways
...to where you are.

X;

It was Sunday afternoon, golden light slanting through Naruto's bedroom window and making warm squares on the floor. Naruto sat perched on the edge of his mattress, blue eyes riveted on the floor for no particular reason. He was still in the white tee and boxers that he had woken up in, and felt no desire to change out of his sleepwear.

He hadn't kissed Sasuke after all, and Naruto was wondering what would have happened if he had. God knows he wanted to.

And now Sasuke wasn't here any more. The Uchiha's guardian had called in the morning and Sasuke had taken the call with somewhat of a cold grimace on his face. Shortly after hanging up, Sasuke had left. Naruto frowned. Sasuke hadn't let him walk him home, either.

But...

This morning, waking up next to Sasuke had been unexpectedly... sweet. Naruto had finally gotten Sasuke to agree to share the bed, and to find in the morning that Sasuke had actually stayed... Naruto allowed himself a small smile. To find himself back to back to Sasuke, to feel the warmth of another body through their thin t-shirts, and know that he was home and that Sasuke, the boy who mattered the most to him, was there beside him.

Naruto hugged his knees.

Everything was approaching... being okay.

X;

To- superperv (at) emailservice dot net
From- believeitninja (at) emailservice dot net

Subject- YO!

Hello you PERV.

So, I'm just writing to tell you that I got back to Konoha alright and unmolested and unmugged and all that stuff. Because I KNOW you were concerned about your one and only godson. Right? Right. So you know, I'm all okay with my family-stuff now. I kinda kept thinking about it on the train ride home, but once I actually got to Konoha, I saw my friends and Iruka again, and like it's cool now. I know where everything's supposed to be, and even if I don't know what I am yet- but I will, believe it!- I know I'm supposed to be here.

Um. Say hi to Ami for me if you see her around! You remember her, right? Of course you remember her you perv, you wouldn't stop looking at her boobs.

Um. RIGHT. Iruka said you can come by whenever, if you want. And you can call, once in a while. So don't be all lonely-old-man on us, kay? Because you really really want to see your godson sometimes. And… he wants to see you too…

From, the one and only NARUTO

P.S. !! I almost forgot. Iruka's boyfriend reads these porn novels and he left one at our place, and when I looked at the cover, there was YOUR NAME ON IT. It was- like- WTF- you wrote them!!! You really are a perv!!!

X;

'Konoha Prison Facility, Psychiatric Ward.'

Sasuke kept his eyes trained on the gray uniform of the fat, toad-like MCA- an acronym for some dressed-up title for the men who were simply put, prison guards- that was walking in front of them. Behind him, Sasuke could feel, with a faint note of disgust, Taniguchi breathing almost down his neck. His guardian was probably pumped full of aspirin for the hangover Sasuke knew Taniguchi always woke up with, and that thought caused disdain too.

The three of them- the MCA, Sasuke, and Taniguchi- were silent as they walked wordlessly down the hallways of the prison facility. Sasuke ignored his environment, but behind him, his guardian darted constant glances at their surroundings. Gray-painted concrete walls and fluorescent lighting fixtures, an eerie quiet broken only by occasional footsteps and the electrical buzzing from the lights above- the Konoha facility inspired a sense of airlessness, of captivity.

Which was fitting, really, for the building that housed Konoha's most ruthless, dangerous, guilty men- and in this section, Konoha's most criminally insane.

Sasuke grit his teeth, and he lost focus even of the back of the prison guard leading them. Instead, he saw his brother's face.

Itachi.

Taniguchi had told him- grinning manically- that his brother had simply handed himself over to the authorities when the police busted a drug warehouse downtown. 'Downtown,' Sasuke thought bitterly. 'All this time, when I was going to leave to find the goddamn fucker, he was just a couple miles away.'

At first, Sasuke had not understood his alcoholic guardian, thought that Taniguchi was being an incoherent drunk. Itachi- just admitting he was guilty? Just like that? It somehow... cheapened everything. Sasuke's frown deepened, now, and his fists clenched at his side.

Rage simmered deep, deep beneath the controlled surface. Yet, somehow, not the right rage, Sasuke felt.

Itachi stole it from him, again.

Itachi had stolen every goddamn thing Sasuke ever had a right to- Itachi being the prodigy and the one that would "truly make something of himself"- Itachi had always had the family's attention and devotion and pride. And then, Itachi decided to take away- kill- the family anyway.

And once again, Itachi was a thief. Only this time, Itachi took away Sasuke's revenge- Sasuke's reason for living. Sasuke's goal. Sasuke's destiny.

Itachi handed himself on a fucking platter to the police.

Funny. The Uchiha family had been a cop family, an family empire in Konoha's police precinct. Their eldest son, their prodigy- decided to violate the law in the worst way possible. And then- he practically turned himself in.

The frown on Sasuke's face took on a dark, wry turn. 'Funny. So fucking funny I could laugh.' He thought sarcastically.

And then Taniguchi told him- an almost manically amused sneer on that pale, oily face. He's crazy. Clinically insane. Your fucking brother is fucking crazy. Isn't that hilarious, you little shit?

Sasuke had almost decked his guardian, but mostly it was the shock and immediate blankness that flooded him. He's crazy. He's crazy.

Sasuke unclenched his fists, and let his hands fall to the side.

The grim trio turned a corner, and then the walls weren't painted gray anymore. The concrete walls were instead a dull white color.

This white section of the facility was as far from reality as one could get while remaining geographically in Konoha. Tucked in the most remote corner of building, constantly prepared for a total lockdown, the white-painted section of Konoha's prison contained the sociopath and the schizophrenic and so many more whose minds have turned against morality, the ones who heard voices, saw visions, and were driven by something in their minds manifesting in the worst of ways.

The fat MCA hummed a rather tuneless melody as he led them to one of the rooms where visitors met with their incarcerated friends, family members. It was the hope of the doctors in the Psychiatric section that it would help aid the therapy that these disturbed criminals received under state law and regulation.

And indeed, sometimes it helped.

But Sasuke wasn't even remotely trying to help Itachi.

He wasn't too sure what would happen. All he knew was the ultimate goal was what it had always been. To kill Itachi.

All that the teenager knew was that Itachi had taken everything away from him, whenever starting to go right, all he knew was the dull rage surging through his veins- those veins filled with the very same blood as Itachi's.

When Sasuke walked into that room with the table bolted to the floor and the chairs around it, and the too-white sheen that the fluorescent lighting cast on the room- and saw the one man he hated more than anyone in the world...

He wasn't prepared for the sheer wave of something- Sasuke didn't really know what it was, only that it was neither just hate nor just anger- that hit him hard and squarely on the mental front. His consciousness staggered.

Suddenly, Sasuke was reminded of the same sort of crash of emotion that greeted him when he saw Naruto yesterday at the train station. Naruto... was it only this morning that Sasuke was content and warm, waking up so close to his blond best friend?

Just as quickly as the image of Naruto's face burst into his mind, it left.

There was a startling- to Sasuke at least- numbness that settled over his body, and he had the indistinct notion that it was not he, Sasuke Uchiha, moving his limbs, walking to closer to the table. It was like a dream, and he felt detached, as if he were hovering about in near the ceiling of the room, watching the prison guard, his sniveling greasy guardian- watching himself- watching Itachi.

"They'll be watching ya, so no funny business, right-o?" The MCA said, almost mockingly in a rounded-out sort of voice. A fat finger pointed at a security camera up near a corner, and he made a sound that Sasuke thought was meant to be a chuckle. It snapped Sasuke to his senses, snapped his hovering consciousness back coldly and clearly to his physical body, as a surge of dislike for the toady man broke surface.

"I'll be right outside," he added, before he rotated his bulbous body and walked out the door, leaving Taniguchi and Sasuke facing the eldest Uchiha son.

The remaining three Uchihas- two, actually, Taniguchi didn't really count- remained deadly silent as the door closed after the pudgy man.

Sasuke heard Taniguchi breathing too heavily, too loudly next to him, and he resisted the urge to punch the stupid bastard. Instead, he brought his gaze properly to the other bastard in the room.

"Itachi." Sasuke said, voice determinedly even.

Itachi was a lot skinnier than he was when Sasuke last saw him. Even now, the drab clothes provided for the inmates hung off his already slender frame. Itachi's sharp cheekbones looked even higher and his face even more hollow, pale skin stretched thinly over the sharp once-handsome, still-handsome features. His mouth was still a flat line, as it was usually. Sasuke watched those lips move.

"Foolish little brother," Itachi said, lowly, in a dry-ish voice that was nevertheless controlled and smooth.

It was the phrase, a fragment of their shared history, the phrase that had once caused so much annoyance in Sasuke when he was a child, and when Itachi was still just teasing.

Sasuke thought that Itachi's monotone utterance of that long-ago familiar phrase would make the hate rise. But it didn't. Everything emotional had dropped out of him, curiously enough. He felt hollow, even as he tried to summon the sheer loathing he held for the gaunt man- his brother!- in front of him. His heart didn't speed up in a staccato of abhorrence, his head didn't pulse with the need to kill.

'What the fuck is wrong with me,' Sasuke wondered distantly.

"Why?" Itachi said. 'Why are you here?' was the true question, but there was no need to explain that to Sasuke, so Itachi didn't elaborate. A hint of a smirk crept onto Itachi's face. "Are you still…" The quiet voice dropped even lower. "… scared?"

Scared.

Sasuke finally found his voice and larynx and words. "No." Sasuke said, just as quietly. Then, more vehemently, "No. I'm not fucking afraid of you."

Itachi just looked at him, and those so-similar dark eyes glittered briefly. Itachi moved his hands slightly, and Sasuke looked at his brother's wrists- they were shackled together with plastic cuffs, ensuring no movement.

"No." Itachi was still expressionless, except for the faint trace of a smile that did not touch his eyes. "I didn't think so."

It was true, too. Sasuke felt no fear- or at least, nothing that could rightly be called fear.

"Taniguchi brought me here, because he wanted to." Sasuke said evenly, jerking a thumb towards his silent guardian. Come to think of it, Taniguchi was looking rather pale, looking rather sweaty. Sasuke ignored him. Watched his brother. And said, "I wanted to."

A beat of silence-

Itachi did the last thing that Sasuke expected him to do: his older brother started laughing.

"-the fuck?" Sasuke heard himself say in disbelief.

It wasn't true laughing, as Itachi's smiles were not true smiles. But this- this was warping the concept of laughter. The sounds that emitted from Itachi's throat had not a drop of joy, not a drop of delight- it was hoarse and choking, and the skinny frame of the man that used to be so strong, it shook. Itachi's shoulders moved jerkily up and down as his chest constricted with his brand of laughter.

"… You really are crazy." And surprisingly it was Taniguchi who said this. Taniguchi's voice was not shaking, it was not shocked, it wasn't even disgusted. It was… smug. And this- what Taniguchi said- rung strangely in Sasuke's ears like an off-tone bell echoing in silence, even as he stared at his brother in the throes of what seemed like a fit.

The door swung open rapidly and the toad-like prison guard made his way into the room with surprising swift waddles. Another prison guard was with him, a tall and yellow complexioned man with a good amount of stubble on his chin. The third person to enter the room was a man in a white lab coat, with large square framed glasses and a clipboard.

The two guards held both of Itachi's shaking arms, and the white-coated man, presumably a doctor, peered, scrutinizing, over his thick glasses. "All right, give him the standard," the doctor ordered in a surprisingly strong voice. The tall guard plunged a hand into his pocket, and his hand withdrew a needle, which he stuck into Itachi.

The guards dragged him out, into the hallway, and Sasuke watched until he could not see his twitching brother and his escorts anymore.

The doctor turned to Sasuke, still staring, and Taniguchi, still smirking, and said without fanfare, "So you're the relatives."

"We are…" Taniguchi said, and Sasuke hated the greasy tone that his guardian used.

"Perhaps we shouldn't have allowed a visit, so soon." The doctor said, voice hard. He blinked, dignifiedly, behind the lenses of his glasses.

"Is he always like that?" Sasuke broke the brief quiet following the doctor's words. Sasuke's own words were inflectionless, frigid, cut.

"He's only been here a day." The doctor said, sounding slightly disapproving. "We haven't observed him long enough."

The doctor shook his head, as Sasuke leveled a carelessly piercing look at him. Finally, the doctor said, "He spent several hours last night staring straight ahead. This morning, he had an episode similar to what you've just witnessed." He paused. And continued slowly: "There are perhaps 'trigger words'… or 'trigger events' that provoke this sort of reaction."

Then, the doctor seemed to mull over his next sentences.

"I would warn you…" he said, still slowly, "to watch what you say, when you visit." The doctor gave Sasuke a piercing stare of his own. "That is, if you decide you still want to visit." There was almost a smirk in the doctor's voice when he finished with, "Most people… don't."

"Most people… don't tell me what I should or should not do." Sasuke returned coldly.

The doctor didn't flush, but a pale pink crept up his neck, and eyes narrowed slightly as he tilted his head a little upward. Sticking his nose up into the air, Sasuke thought. The doctor gave a little 'ahem,' and said, "I assure you, there was no such implication of any sort. May I escort you to the facility exit?"

Taniguchi broke in hurriedly, impatiently: "Please do, I need t' get home." Taniguchi glanced sideways at Sasuke and jerked a thumb at the teenager. "And I'm sure Sasuke wants to get home too."

Sasuke hated all of them- Itachi, Taniguchi, the doctor, the prison guard, the whole goddamn prison. But he said nothing as he strode gracefully after the two older men.

Out of the prison, into the light.

But it was afternoon already, and the light was dying, dyeing into black.

X;

When the sun began its daily ascent, blue eyes were already open and alert.

This… this was a rarity.

Naruto Uzumaki couldn't say that he had never woken up so early, but he could say that he had never woken up early on Monday, for school. Maybe when those two events coincided with Iruka's birthday or something like that. But not solely for Monday and for school- except today.

But if one thinks- something that Naruto kind of, sometimes, maybe does- it was a rarity.

To be coming back after a week of well, -screw the fucking clichés concept- … finding yourself.

Naruto had the thought that it might be a little different to see- well, Neji and Gaara, Hinata and Kiba and Shino, Shikamaru and even Chouji. And then of course, there was Sasuke- Sasuke and Sakura and even Lee,. And when Naruto listed that in his head, a funny feeling snuck its way into his chest somewhere and squeezed. The friendships he had made in Konoha- and the people- it was a world waiting for him.

He pulled on his school uniform of dark pants and a button-up shirt that he donned messily. He grabbed his bookbag with all his incomplete homework. And stuffing a bagel into his mouth, waving to Iruka, Naruto made his way out.

7 AM sharp, Naruto was at the corner on which he met Sasuke everyday for school.

And Sasuke was not there.

Naruto almost snapped the strap of his bookbag the way he fidgeted with it, waiting for Sasuke. Minutes upon minutes passed, without any sign of his dark haired, dark eyed best friend. 'Is he mad at me or something after all?' Naruto wondered, forcefully sticking his hands in his pockets in an attempt to stop his fidgeting. But Naruto couldn't believe that, not with the way Sasuke was looking at and talking to and touching him since he'd gotten back.

At least, he didn't want to believe that.

'Or maybe he got hurt on the way home or something! Damn, I knew I should have called to make sure he got home okay!'

And then,

'Damnit I've gotta stop worrying about this, Uchiha probably just got used to going to school alone this past week.'

Still later,

'But what if something did happen… No, Uchiha can take care of himself, he knows how to throw a punch, he can deal with what he's given…'

And then a miniscule spark that lit a corner of his thoughts- something he really didn't want to believe happened. 'Itachi… what if Sasuke… left after all?' And then following that, the worse idea of them all… 'What if Itachi… got him?'

"NO!" Naruto finally shouted aloud. "Fucker hasn't shown up in years, he better goddamn not be here now!"

Naruto was oblivious to the disapproving looks shot his way from the people heading to work or school or simply out on a morning walk. It was almost eight o'clock, almost when homeroom started, and Naruto bit his lip. Maybe Sasuke was at school already. Yeah. Sasuke-bastard was at school. Naruto hoped to God that was situation, as his long legs took off running toward Konoha High School.

X;

When Naruto burst through the doors of his homeroom in the last five minutes, several people immediately stood from their seats and hurried over to the blond. Sakura, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Chouji, and even Shikamaru hung around him, and Naruto couldn't see through the mini-crowd. So he stood up on tip-toes looking around for the seat that he hoped wasn't empty- the seat at which Sasuke Uchiha sat.

And it wasn't.

Naruto was tremendously relieved, and terribly annoyed.

Making a hasty apology, Naruto pushed his way through his very curious and glad-to-see-him friends until he reached the desk of his best friend.

"Sasuke-bastard!" Naruto yelled. "How come you weren't at our meeting place! Goddamnit, Sasuke, you really worried me when you didn't show up! Idiot Sasuke!" By the end of his short tirade, Naruto had deflated down to a sort of growl-grumble.

Sasuke looked up at Naruto calmly- and the blond was immediately struck by how bad Sasuke looked. The faint dark bags beneath his best friend's eyes, the way the dark hair was messier than the cool-Sasuke-Uchiha-messy, how the button-up shirt Sasuke was wearing had been put on carelessly, the way Sasuke laced his pale hands together so tight that they were even whiter. It would have been a subtle difference to someone else, but to Naruto it was blatant. After all, this was Sasuke, this boy who owned his heart and soul for the past seven years.

"Kind of what you did, moron." Sasuke smirked, though Naruto could tell his thoughts were elsewhere.

Naruto made a somewhat embarrassed, gruff noise at that. And bit his lip. "Sasuke- are you-" Naruto began to ask his friend. Are you okay?

But Sasuke would not let him ask. Sasuke cut him off. "And look who's behind you, dimwit." Naruto swore that Sasuke's tone dropped a few degrees. But Naruto turned around.

"SAI?!" Naruto exclaimed, incredulously. And indeed, it was the shorthaired boy who Naruto had befriended on the train, smiling politely at him.

"Hello, Naruto, I'd hoped I would see you here. It turns out I'm staying here in Konoha for a while after all, so I enrolled. An April transfer is pretty late, but it's nice in that I'll get to see you on a daily basis." Sai said, still smiling.

It was strange to see Sai in a school uniform. Not bad, but strange, Naruto thought. Naruto had come to think of his journey-life and his Konoha-life as separate, but having Sai here seemed to blur the lines and borders of what had become Naruto's two distinct worlds.

Naruto opened his mouth to say something, and then closed it again. His natural friendliness soon won out, and he cheerfully welcomed his friend to Konoha High School. "Yeah Sai, that's great. I hope you like it here!"

Said Sai: "Thank you, Naru."

Naru?!? Naruto almost gaped, but forced himself to let it go as a one-time incident, a slip of the tongue, perhaps.

Focusing his gaze on Sasuke, the new student held up a newspaper that he pulled from behind his back. Said Sai: "Oh, and did you know you were in the papers, Sasuke?"

Sasuke's cold glare did not make Sai flinch, but Naruto did, especially when he saw the headlines.

Murderer Of The Uchiha Clan Is Finally Behind Bars.

And below the bold black newsprint, there were two pictures. One, of Itachi Uchiha- the man who murdered his almost-entire family. The second, right next to it, a younger face- Sasuke Uchiha as a seven-year-old child, captioned as the lone survivor of the Uchiha massacre.

X;

Author's note 2: And here we are, rolling out the problems again. Super sorry for the month-plus delay. Did you liiiike? I'm kind of anxious about this chapter. Especially the whole prison thing. Did it reek, guys?

Anyway. I hope you drop a line anyway. I did edit the last chapter, I'll get to this one later.

Don't forget to check out my C2 for complete Naruto x Sasuke fics. (Naru x Sasu fix! Yay, Crick!) We're almost to a thousand fics!

Lyrics are from Five for Fighting's 100 years, Vanessa Carlton's The Wreckage, Vanessa Carlton's Afterglow, (my) I miss you, Blink182's What's my age again?, Anna Nalick's Citadel, Liz Phair's Why Can't I, Vanessa Carlton's A Thousand Miles. Comments would be very much appreciated.