Curiosity
Summery: Post "Hammers and Veils," LL. He knows he should feel very guilty. She knows she shouldn't feel so safe and secure in his arms. Yet, here, in the middle of the town square, they ended up, all eyes on them. Allowing the sharp staccato of their uniform heartbeat dictate their waltz, they both realize that this doesn't feel bad at all.
Disclaimer: Did I tell you about my new shoes? They're called Disclaimers. When I walk, I hear, "Not mine. Not mine. Not mine." And even if I am happy and I'm skipping, I hear "Not-not mine. Not-not mine. Not-not mine."...You get the gist of it. Also don't own any song lyrics. Or any snipits of dialogue that may appear.
A/N: Hi all! I know that some of you are desperately waiting for an update for my other two stories, but after a series of technical difficulties (I think my laptop committed suicide), that might not happen for awhile longer. And, well, classes have been killer this semester. (Stop that! I can hear you saying, "Excuses, excuses, Robin." Don't make me hold out on writing for 5 more months…Don't think I won't do it!).
So, here instead, is a story in four parts that I worked on when I didn't have access to my other stories. Sit back, relax, and enjoy.
Oh, and this story is officially dedicated to Christina (Lolabelle26) for a number of reasons. First of all, she's just awesome ;-) Also, she always tries to kick my butt into gear for my other stories (with numerous private messages and not so subtle hints in her reviews/review replies), and without her constant motivation, I would probably be way too distracted by life to write. I know you would rather have an update to SW2EHWOAC (and my keyboard groans every time I type that out), but I hope this is a good alternative. Last, and certainly not least (because this is very important), I needed help, guidance, direction, etc. on this story and she took time from her busy life in order to provide that for me. I bugged her with numerous emails and early drafts and you'll see her input from the title, to the song choices, to the way we decided to end this. Without you, Christina, this story would cease to exist as we know it (was that a little too over the top:lowers hand from forehead: I was going for the epitome of praise there.).
Part 1: I'm Like Pringles, Baby (or I Won't Dance)
"I hate to spoil your fun, but I may need to find a restroom soon," Max whispered into his fiancé's fragrant hair as they swayed to the beat of a Sinatra tune. Lorelai slowly lifted her head from her perch on his shoulder and gave him a knowing smile.
"You hit the Founder's Day punch, didn't you?"
"Maybe a little too hard," he admitted, his head spinning from the after-effects of that unusual brew.
"I thought I warned you about Patty's hooch."
"I thought you were exaggerating. You tend to do that."
"Never about Founder's punch!" Max shook his head and grinned at the brunette beauty in his arms. In two months, she would officially be his.
"I guess I don't understand why you seem fine and I feel lightheaded. We had the same amount of punch."
"Yeah, well, you're a lightweight." Max chuckled and Lorelai returned her head to his shoulder.
"I wasn't kidding about the bathroom. It's in Miss Patty's studio, right?" Lorelai whipped her head up in full pout mode. Oh boy.
"Maa-ax, I wanna dance," she whined, jetting out her lower lip to reinforce her point. Normally, it would have been too hard to resist her big, sad eyes, but his desperate need to take a leak consumed all of his thought processes.
"And we will dance…after I find a bathroom."
"But, I'm like Pringles, baby." Max's eyebrows scrunched in confusion. "You know, once I pop, the dancin' don't stop-"
"Lorelai," he sighed.
"-And if I stop, I won't want to dance anymore, which basically means the night will be over. This is my night, and I don't want it to be over yet, and I wanna dance," Lorelai declared like an exuberant three-year-old.
"You mean our night."
"No, it's basically my night, but you being here is an added perk. Must I reiterate the queen and court jester speech?"
"No, I caught that one the first time around." Max began to pull away, but Lorelai sunk her nails into him and clung hard.
"Don't go," she said sweetly.
"I must. Two minutes," Max practically begged.
"I wanna dance," Lorelai repeated for the third time, as childish as ever. Max wished he could say he was used to her crazy moods, but a dance-crazed, whiny, and slightly buzzed Lorelai was beyond his comprehension at the moment. It was just another aspect of Lorelai's vibrant personality he would have to get used to once they were married.
Married. That brought another smile to Max's face. He, a bookish, intelligent, and once confirmed bachelor was getting married. Getting married to the most beautiful, stunning, and sexy woman he had ever laid eyes on. To top it off, he was getting a terrific step-daughter in the packaged deal. Nothing could have knocked Max off his cloud. He was truly happy.
"Dance with someone else," he suggested with a laugh, "Kirk looks lonely without his megaphone."
"The fact that you find that funny disturbs me."
"Lorelai, please." He could hardly take it anymore. Founder's punch? Never again.
"Ugh, fine, you big baby. Hurry back." Max leaned in and placed a chaste peck on Lorelai's lips.
"I'll be right back," came his whispered promise, and with that, Lorelai was left alone on the dance floor.
Dance with someone else, huh? Like who? Max was still unaware of the lack of acceptable dance partners in this town. Why did he think it was so hard for her to find a partner for the dance marathon every year?
Lorelai took the opportunity to scan the crowd in order to find some eligible bachelor to be Fred to her Ginger. She wanted to dance and by gum, she was going to dance. This was her night, after all.
She spied Rory across the square. Lorelai pondered the possible mother-daughter cuteness that a dance the two of them shared would elicit. However, Rory was cozily resting her head on Dean's shoulder and looking quite content. That sent Dance Partner Bachelorette Number 1 out of the picture. Dean was too tall and too young to be her Bachelor Number 2. Michel was spotted shaking his thing off to the side, martini in hand. He would probably want to shimmy to a fast number, and all she wanted to do was slowly waltz to a melodic rhythm. No to Bachelor Number 3. Jackson was already dancing with Sookie, and they just looked too darn cute to break up. Bachelor Number 4 was officially crossed off her list.
Taking another quick scan of the rest of the attendees, she felt her heart inexplicably skip a beat as she spotted a very familiar face sitting next to four mini-brides on a bench. Luke was a very viable option for Bachelor Number 5. Not only was he here and unattached, he had nothing better to do.
Lorelai was a little surprised that he was still at her party. Luke was a hermit. Luke didn't leave the diner after dark. Luke hated parties. Luke hated swarms of people. Luke hated town events. Luke hated pretty much everything about her little shindig. Yet, there he was, sitting on a bench near the dance floor. He was hunched over, simply staring at his hands. Lorelai couldn't shake the idea that he only reason he was here was because of her. It made her feel warm inside. Luke cared about her and their friendship enough to forget his ranting ways and help her celebrate on her night. Not that she ever doubted him, but it felt good to see him there all the same.
Determined, Lorelai weaved her way through the dancing couples and made her way to Luke with dancing on the brain.
I'm just staring at my hands, Luke thought to himself, suddenly finding a freckle on the second knuckle of his left hand fascinating. It was better that he kept his eyes in one place. They were dancing.
He had reluctantly left the solace of his diner because Lorelai had asked him to. She said it would mean a lot to her. She said it wouldn't feel right if he didn't make an appearance. How could he say no? Lorelai's eyes pleaded with him in her Lorelai way and he knew he couldn't let her down. That's why he was here. For her.
Then again, he couldn't tell her the real reason why he was hiding. Yes, Lorelai saw right through the lame ketchup bottle excuse, but she wouldn't be able to handle his real reason for avoiding her tonight. It would screw with their dynamic. A dynamic that Luke was pretty comfortable with. Damn that Rachel for putting all these inappropriate thoughts in his head. He was fine before she said anything. He liked his relationship with Lorelai back then. Maybe he was in denial, but it suited him. There was banter, a little bit of flirting, and a particular closeness that he had never experienced with another woman. But, that had been thrown to the wayside when Rachel left. Her parting blow of, "Don't wait too long to tell her," was reverberating loudly in his head with each passing second. It was slowly driving Luke insane. Since then, he noticed how beautiful Lorelai looked when she sipped her coffee in the morning. How she consumed his thoughts most the day. How light and comfortable he felt around her. How much he wanted to hold her in his arms. How much he wanted to walk up to her in the diner and throw all his built-up passion into a lingering kiss. How sexually frustrated he felt when she teased him or lightly brushed her fingers across his arm.
Jeez. This was crazy.
Luke never had thoughts like these about Lorelai before. He never spent the moments before he fell asleep pining for the presence of the woman he considered to be his best friend before. A woman he couldn't have now, even if he wanted to. This wasn't like Luke. He felt lightheaded and intoxicated by Lorelai thoughts. It wasn't right. He shouldn't be thinking about her like that. She was his friend. She didn't belong to Luke. She was engaged to him.
Dammit, Rachel!
He still came to the party. Why? He wasn't sure himself. He blamed it on how sad and sincere Lorelai looked when she came into the diner. Walking into the town square and seeing Lorelai dancing in his arms was almost too much for him to take, though. Talk about knife in the gut. It was bad enough knowing they were engaged, but seeing them dancing, looking happy, and, dare he say, in love, was illusion shattering. Lorelai would never want a reclusive, health-food loving, diner-owning, coffee-pouring schlub like him. He was smart in ways that Luke would never be. He could probably give more to Lorelai than Luke ever could. It was gut wrenching. He felt as if acupuncture needles were being stuck into his chest every millisecond he continued to watch the woman he couldn't help but want.
Then, she looked up at him from Max's shoulder, recognition and relief flashing in her stunning blue eyes. All Luke could bring himself to do was give her a half-smile and a wave. He watched her face light up as a result of his arrival, and just for a moment, Luke forgot about all the jealous contemplations that fogged his brain. He forgot that she wasn't his. He forgot that she probably didn't feel the same way about him. He forgot that he shouldn't be thinking about a friend like this. All that Luke could process was that Lorelai was glad to see him.
Reality set in as Luke took a seat on the bench. All his anti-Max deliberations came rushing back like a flash flood. How could he make him disappear and make it look like an accident? Are you insane, Danes?
Jeez, I'm being moronic.
She's happy with him, right? That's all Luke really wanted. He had made her happy by showing up and he truly wanted her to be happy with him.
Luke tore his eyes away from the happy couple. He wasn't sure how many more needles in the chest he could handle before he suffocated. So, he just stared at his hands. He wasn't sure how long he had been studying them or how idiotic he must have looked, but it was a welcome distraction. It even kept him unaware that Lorelai was on a mission and headed right for him.
As Lorelai took the final steps to him, she realized that Luke was deep in thought and probably had no idea that she was standing in front of him. She smiled to herself. Luke was very focused when he wanted to be. His strange little quirks amused her.
"Dirty nails?" she mused after standing at his side for an entire twenty-two Mississippis. Luke jumped and quickly jerked his head up.
"Jeez!" he let out, taking in a sharp breath of surprise. Lorelai couldn't help but let out a small giggle.
"Sorry," Lorelai said with a shrug, "You looked like you were in the zone."
"Call me Randy Johnson, then," he quipped, as he shifted uncomfortably on the bench. This didn't go unnoticed by Lorelai and she was suddenly very curious about Luke's mood.
"What's up, Rand?" What was going through that baseball-capped head of his? He was unusually quiet towards her and she still didn't understand why he avoided the party most of the night.
"Nothing…just thinking," Luke stated and hoped Lorelai left it at that. He didn't want to explain. He could hardly decipher some of his testosterone-driven thoughts himself.
"Obviously so. I was here twenty-two seconds before you even noticed me."
"You counted?" he asked, feeling the corners of his mouth twitch up. He liked her little quirks. She wouldn't be Lorelai without them. Lorelai nodded.
"Mississippily," she remarked. Luke just shook his head. He probably didn't want to know what she was talking about.
Silence lingered for a few seconds. Lorelai shifted her weight from one foot to the other, still trying to decide if these heels were a good idea for tonight. Luke, on the other hand, adjusted his cap. She decided to break the silence, the abnormal halt of their banter made her nervous.
"Luke," she began, noting a waver in her voice. When had she gotten this anxious? Was his mood rubbing off on her? "Uh, thanks for coming. It…it really meant a lot to me. I-I really wanted you here and when you weren't, it just didn't feel right."
Luke didn't know how to respond to her heartfelt appreciation. He now knew that he was right in thinking that Lorelai was happy to see him at the party. Part of him wanted to stand up, dip her back and have his way with her. His more sensible side wanted to bolt back to the safety of his apartment. Luke felt safest resting between the two extremes of his personality. That's where Friend Luke resided. Friend Luke looked out for Lorelai's feelings first. Friend Luke wasn't given to these embarrassingly sexual thoughts. Friend Luke was the dependable guy she knew best. He just had to ignore the emotions that Rachel's departure had stirred up in him and continue to be Friend Luke. "You're welcome. Things suddenly slowed down at the diner," he finally retorted. Lorelai laughed brightly and Luke felt better.
The jazzy chords of a new song floated in the cool summer air and Lorelai got that glint in her eye that usually meant she had a crazy idea.
"You wanna dance?" Lorelai asked expectantly. Luke definitely wasn't anticipating that. Dancing with Lorelai could potentially be a very bad idea. Did Lorelai have any idea what she was doing to him recently?
"I don't dance," seemed to be the appropriate Friend Luke response. He was lying, of course. Luke was actually a decent dancer, but Lorelai didn't need to know that.
"Come on, I don't believe that for a second," she said as she slid into the empty space next to him.
"I don't dance," he repeated with a little more force.
"Please."
"Where's Max?" Luke redirected. Avoiding the subject entirely seemed to be the best option. With his crazy Lorelai thoughts of late, he was a little afraid of what might happen if he was too close to her.
Dammit, Rachel!
"Bathroom. Founder's punch finally got to him."
"Didn't you warn him about that?"
"He didn't believe me. He said I tend to exaggerate."
"Yes, you do," Luke said with a smirk. Was he flirting with her? Jeez. Lorelai playfully elbowed him in mock offense. He rubbed the spot of contact, pretending like she had hurt him. Lorelai grinned at him, and then placed her hand lightly on his arm.
"Please Luke."
"Lorelai, I-No, I don't dance."
"Lucas," she groaned, sticking her lip out like she did for Max.
"Don't call me that," he responded gruffly, making her want to irritate him all the more.
"But, it's my party and I want to dance."
"Then dance."
"But, I want to dance with someone."
"Ask Kirk."
"I don't know why both you and Max suggested that."
"He'd probably say yes."
"That's what I'm afraid of." Luke chuckled lightly. He again contemplated the possible ramifications of dancing with Lorelai. It would appease her if he said yes, but holding her so close could only serve to drive him nuts. Why did Rachel have to make things so difficult for him now?
Still…what's one dance?
"Please, Luke. Please, please, please dance with me." Her soft pleading voice and big blue eyes finally did him in. He sighed, now defeated by her charms. Luke stood up and turned toward Lorelai, her eyes watching his every move intently. Rolling his eyes, he held out his hand to her.
"May I have this dance?" he asked dryly. Lorelai's face immediately lit up and she wrinkled her nose in that way Luke always found irresistible.
What was he getting himself into?
"Yea!" she exclaimed and clapped her hands. She used his outstretched arm to help herself off the bench, and then allowed Luke to lead her to the center of the dance floor.
A/N: Well, what do you think? Sucks? Terrific? Needs work? Continue? Send this story to the recycle bin? You tell me in the form of reviews. That's the only way I can improve, guys, and I can't read minds. I'm not the type of person who is going to hold out on the story if I don't get a certain amount of reviews, but I would truly, madly, and deeply (hmm, remind you of a song? Whoa, junior high flashback!) would love you if you dropped me a line. And, seeing how much I ramble in my author notes, you can tell that long reviews are greatly desired and appreciated.
So, if you've read some of my other stories, you may be thinking, "That's certainly not how you normally write Luke, Robin." Yes, that's true. I went for a totally different side of Luke for this story that I normally don't touch upon. I like to call him 'Pining Luke.' So, before you drop notes that say that things are a little OOC (and I'm not arguing. My characterizations will never be perfect.), here's why I did this: I think the time period of this story calls for a little veer from the norm. I am generally under the impression that pre-end-of-Season-4 Luke always knew that he had a little crush on Lorelai, but was deep in denial about the true extent of his feelings (until Luke Cane See Her Face, that is). But, I think that in this particular point in the GG plot, Luke is having some sort of emotional upheaval. I mean, look how he reacted in every Max-related situation after the engagement was announced. Rachel has left him because she knows he has feelings for Lorelai, and then tells him to do something about it. That gave him a lot to think about. Does he really feel that way? And, we all know how long it takes Luke to process things (well, apparently all of us except for Lorelai…growl). So he goes to Lorelai's house, and it seems like he might actually confess his true feelings. But, who is he interrupted by? That's right, Max Medina. Maaaax Medina (I'm hearing his message to Lorelai in my head right now. I know its supposed to be cute and sweet and all, but his message always hurls me into a fit of giggles. Don't know why). Then, Luke makes a fool of himself by childishly bickering with Lorelai's boyfriend. Before he even has a chance to comment about his feelings, Lorelai is engaged. Engaged! Poor Luke. So, I see him having all these unresolved thoughts and feelings as a result. He can't stop thinking about her. He may even be more attracted to her. And, deep down, he knows it's wrong to think about her in that way because she is taken, but he can't wrap his mind around the whole thing. He's still in denial about Lorelai getting married. I believe Luke is very tormented at this time on the show so I tried to reflect that in my story. Do you agree? I'd like to hear your thoughts on this.
One more thing before you start throwing rotten tomatoes at me, or whatever you crazy kids throw at rambling writers these days. The inspiration for this story came from my uncle, who always felt sorry for Luke as he watched Lorelai and Max dance at the party. I believe he said, "That was unusually cruel of Lorelai." So, Uncle Cecil, here's a little Luke-friendly twist just for you.
Next Chapter (if you want me to continue): "Fred Astaire Said it Best (or You're Easy to Dance With)"- Luke and Lorelai dance, and someone (maybe more than one person) is watching very intently. Any guesses?