Many thanks to my beta, Marliau, who is made of all things awesome and good in the world.

Too tired to say anything other than look, a fic!

--

He didn't have any idea of where to look, honestly. Somehow, Destiny Islands didn't seem like a place that he would have stayed; it was obvious that he was never happy there, but that only narrowed down the choices by one.

Sora dragged a hand through his hair, staring hard at the grainy image of the map on the dashboard of the gummi ship. Was this worth it? Eleven years, eleven years was a long time to have not talked to someone and then randomly seek them out. They hadn't even parted on the best of terms and even now he remembered everything that had happened that day with vivid detail as if it were only yesterday.

"What am I doing?" He murmured softly, tracing a finger over a path of stars only to find himself landing on a world he hadn't been to in almost two years, Radiant Garden. There was no reason to believe that the older man would be there of all places, but at least it was a start. If he wasn't there, then maybe Leon or Aerith or someone else there could help.

It was a start.

--

Sora stepped out of the ship with a wince, his legs already sore from just a few hours journey cramped in the cockpit. Radiant Garden had changed a lot in just those few years since he had been there. Everything was newer looking, from the houses to the generator on his far left, powered and humming much quieter than before. The cobblestone alleyways and roads looked as if they were just as new- the Reconstruction Committee had been working hard and it showed.

"You lost or something?" A teasing voice floated over. The owner jumped down from a ledge by the generator, holding a wrench in one hand and placing the other on her hip.

"Yuffie!" Sora's eyes widened, not having time to say anything else before he was tackled by the woman, landing hard on his back. "Gods, Yuffie, are you trying to kill me? I'm glad to see you, too."

Yuffie snorted, tapping him lightly on the nose with her finger. "You're fine, Sora. Unless, you're calling me fat? 'Cause, I'm pretty sure that's not a nice thing to say to someone who you haven't seen in years- and you never call a girl fat."

Sora snorted. "I'm not calling you fat and you know it."

"It was implied." She retorted with a frown.

"Fat or not, you gotta get up because a piece of your road is pressing into my back and it's really uncomfortable." He grinned when she yelped and rolled off of him, reaching out to give him a hand up as well. The brown-eyed girl looked almost as she had when he had seen her last, save for her longer hair that was swept up into a messy set of ponytails. A black sleeveless undershirt that cut off just over her stomach, complete with simple black pants and a pair of black and white shoes. "So where is everyone?"

"Aerith is the closest; she's working in the garden. C'mon let's go and see her first. She'll be so happy to see you!" Yuffie tugged him through a maze of alleyways and around houses, coming to a harsh stop just before a mass of flowers taller than he was where he could just barely see the edge of a pink dress. "Aerith! Come look who came to see us!"

A brown head poked out from the side, the older woman smiling when she saw the two standing outside of the garden. "Sora, I didn't expect to see you here," Aerith greeted, stepping out of the garden. She pushed off her gloves and left them lying on the ground so she could hug him. Smiling, he accepted the hug from the woman, the scent of fresh flowers and earth clinging to her. Kairi smelled the same way, he realized distantly, shoving that thought to the back of his mind before he could begin thinking about why he was really there. "Are you hungry, or thirsty? I actually have some fresh watermelon inside and I think sandwiches from lunch."

Sora's stomach growled in response, eliciting a laugh from both women. "Food sounds great, actually. This was kind of a trip that I didn't really plan for- last minute," he shrugged, following them after scooping up Aerith's gloves for her before she forgot them. "How has everything b-"

"Sorry!" A young voice shouted, the owner having just ran right into Sora's leg. Blinking in surprise, he turned around and watched the child dart into an alley, catching a glimpse of silver before three other kids followed, their giggles echoing behind them.

Startled, his breath seemingly torn from him in that brief instant, Sora stared after the children, his heart pounding sharply.

"Sora… why are you here?" Aerith said quietly, reaching out and placing a slender finger under his chin and watching him with an oddly serious look on her face.

The brunet man swallowed hard, glancing at the ground, feeling just like the uncertain teen that he had once been. "He's… he's here, isn't he," Sora whispered, knowing that silver hair was rare enough for it to have not been some random child. "Was that…"

"How did you know to come here?" Yuffie asked, for once not bouncing around like normal; she too was abnormally somber. "And…why now?"

"How long have you guys known him?" Sora demanded, pulling back from Aerith with a quick step. They were acting like they had been hiding the older boy from him even though they knew he had been looking for him. "Last time I was here- he was here then, too, wasn't he?"

Aerith sighed heavily, shaking her head. "Sora, let's just go sit down and maybe we can explain some things."

Staring hard at them for a minute longer, he fought with himself and then sighed heavily- it wasn't right to take his frustration out on them. "All right."

--

With a few sandwiches, a slice of watermelon and a cup of tea in front of him, Sora felt mildly less crabby and more willing to listen. Riku had probably specifically told them not to give any hint of his whereabouts to Sora on one of his many trips to Radiant Garden. The thought stung more than Sora would care to admit. "So, I think that I deserve an explanation. Were you two even going to tell me, if I hadn't seen the kid?"

"Sora, we can't explain everything to you; some of it just isn't our business. Riku has been here for a long time- going on six years now. Last time you were here… you didn't stay long so it worked out. He asked us not to tell you that he was here and we respected his wishes." Aerith sighed heavily once more, turning to the sink to run water and start some dishes if only to have something to do. "His daughter is the one who ran into you; she's very sweet."

Mouth dry, Sora tried to process everything that he had been told. "H-how old is she?" he managed, taking a hard drink of the lemonade if only to rinse the suddenly bitter taste out of his mouth. Riku had a daughter?

"She's just under six, I believe," Yuffie answered this time, reaching over and taking one of the sandwiches on Sora's plate.

'Just under six,' his mind repeated with shock. Riku had a daughter which meant that he had a girlfriend or a wife. 'Oh gods. Why am I here? This was the stupidest idea that I've ever had; I couldn't just leave well enough alone.' Sora took an absent bite of his sandwich, not even really tasting it at that point, simply going through the process of chewing and swallowing mechanically. "He has a wife, then?"

"No," Aerith paused, the glasses she had been washing clinking together after she set them down. "She died in childbirth; he's been raising her by himself mostly."

"I'm going to go see him," Sora whispered, just loud enough for them to hear. "I don't care if you don't tell me where he lives; I'm going to find him with or without your help."

"Eat something first, Sora, and we'll tell you where he is, I promise."

--

He couldn't do this. He wasn't strong enough to do this and coming on a whim wasn't a good enough reason to throw a wrench in Riku's life and oh gods his hand was acting on its own and knocking. Maybe he wouldn't be home. Maybe he was with Leon or with one of the other people, maybe he was out at a job, or maybe he had gone out for a late lunch or-

"Coming," came a call from inside, followed by footsteps and the vaguely ominous click of the door being opened. "Sorry it took so long, wa-"

Sora froze up, his eyes flicking over Riku quickly without his mind processing it- all it knew was that he was standing there right in front of him and that he had missed the older man so much more than he was willing to admit. "H…hi, Riku," he finally managed to get out, his breath annoyingly shaky, throat tight. Riku still hadn't said anything, his bright blue-green eyes fixed on Sora's face, seemingly just as uncertain as he was. "I'm really sorry about this, it's just… it's been eleven years and…"

It was going to be really embarrassing if he ran away right now, Sora thought, pushing down a slightly hysterical giggle at the thought.

"Do you want to come in?" Riku suddenly asked, opening the door a little wider so Sora could come in.

Still feeling terribly awkward, he nodded and followed Riku into his house, pulling the door shut behind him. The house was just as small as Aerith's- it seemed that all of the houses had been built about the same time and probably by the same person, which explained the similar layouts. The walls were painted a tan color, accented by various little things, little homey touches that Sora doubted Riku would have thought of. "How are…" He paused, his hands sliding in the front of his hooded sweatshirt and twisting in the material nervously. "How've you been?"

"Good. I've been pretty good. I'm surprised that you came to see me after so long, though I really shouldn't be," Riku glanced over his shoulder and wandered into what looked like was the kitchen. "You can come in, you know."

Sora looked down at his shoes and debated on if he was supposed to take them off or not- the floor wasn't carpet, it was wood so it might not matter. "Should I take off my shoes?" He called, his eyes scanning over the top of the small fireplace, taking in the sight of the multiple pictures on the ledge.

One was of a little silver-haired girl holding up a fat, gray and white cat, a wide smile on her face. Another was of Riku standing with the same girl on his shoulder; the picture looking like it had been taken while he was spinning around. There was one of a blonde woman sitting on a swing, her legs and arms stretched out, clearly laughing. One of the last ones was of Riku with his arms wrapped around the same woman, his chin resting on her shoulder, a rare smile on his face. The final one was the very same one that Sora had on the small table beside his bed; Riku was slouched in one of the chairs in Kairi's living room with Sora on his lap and Kairi on top of all of them, pressing a kiss to Riku's suspiciously pink cheeks.

A hand suddenly falling on his shoulder made a startled yelp escape him. "Oh! Sorry, Riku." He turned around, finding himself face-to-face with blue-green eyes; their bodies close enough to where he could feel Riku's body heat. Memories of the past assaulted him; eleven years ago this wouldn't have bothered him so much but everything was so different now.

"You don't have to take your shoes off," Riku said quietly, removing his hand from Sora's shoulder. "Aya always forgets to remove hers, so it's not a big deal."

The familiarity with which Riku said the name only reinforced the fact that he was no longer a part of Riku's life. "Your daughter?" Sora asked, his voice just as quiet as Riku's own.

"Yeah," Riku responded, taking a few steps back, his face carefully blank. "Do you want something to eat or drink?"

"No, thanks, though- Aerith made sure to feed me the moment she laid eyes on me," Sora laughed slightly, the noise sounding hollow even to his ears. "I'm sorry for not… well, I couldn't warn you- Gods, Riku, you just dropped off the face of the universe without any warning. Kairi didn't know where you were, you stopped writing letters and no one would tell me where you were. I thought that you would have gotten your fix of disappearing when we were teenagers."

Riku swallowed visibly, his voice unsteady. "I know, I'm sorry, I really am."

"I thought… how was I supposed to know you weren't dead?" Sora's fists clenched into tight balls as he fought to keep himself from either yelling or doing something equally embarrassing. He had always known that Riku wasn't dead; the thread that bound all of the Keyblades together, bound the Keyblade wielders as well. The only problem with that was that it didn't serve as a tracking device.

"I know I'm an idiot, Sora, and I handled it badly." Riku shrugged. "You're better off without me."

Sora laughed loudly, his voice cracking as it faded into a choked little gasp. In a quick movement he pressed himself against Riku, his arms sliding around the older man's waist and forcing himself to not think for at least a minute. He swore that his heart stopped when Riku didn't move, didn't even breathe, but then he was being held tightly, and Riku felt familiar and right and he wasn't almost crying. "I missed you so much," Sora managed, pressing his forehead to Riku's shoulder, noting that he was only a few inches shorter now. "I'm so mad at you."

"I know," Riku said again, resting his cheek on the top of Sora's head. "You should be. Like I said, you're better off without me."

Sora shook his head, his fingers tangling in the soft material of Riku's sweater. "Don't say that, you don't know what you're talking about." He drew in another shaky breath to calm himself. How long they stayed like that, he wasn't sure, but their moment came to an end when a stampede of footsteps sounded through the kitchen and into the living room where they stood.

"Aya, who's that? And why's your dad hugging him?" A loud whisper from one of the children made Sora look over Riku's shoulder, catching sight of three children with matching looks of curiosity on their faces.

Slowly, Sora drew back, meeting Riku's eyes squarely for a moment before sliding away all the way to smile at the group of kids. "This is my old friend, Sora. He's from where I was born, actually, but now he lives…" Riku glanced over as if realizing that he had no idea what was going on with Sora's life.

"Traverse Town, actually," Sora filled in, taking note of the raised eyebrow.

"Traverse Town," Riku repeated. "Aya, your swimsuit is in the bottom drawer, remember?"

The little girl nodded and scurried off without another word, turning down a hallway to where Sora assumed, was her bedroom. The other two children, one boy and one girl, were still standing there, the latter watching Riku with a scrutinizing expression. "Are you a psycho?" she asked, her hands on her hips.

Sora couldn't resist the snort of laughter.

"Psychic," Riku corrected, sending Sora a dirty look. "And no, Sana, I'm not a psychic, Eiji is wearing his swimming shorts, so I figured it out. Who's going to be watching you three?"

"My momma is, she said not to worry. I think that Miss Yuffie is coming, too," Eiji said, fiddling with the end of his shorts as he waited for Aya to come out.

Aya ran back into the room a second later, tugging at her pink skirt and working to get the small t-shirt over her head and the swimsuit top, at the same time. Stifling a small laugh when he realized that she was trying to get her head through the hole where her arm would go, he almost stepped forward to help before Riku moved, tugging at her shirt so it fell correctly and covered the bright pink top she wore. "You know the rules, right?"

There was a huff from the girl as she placed her hands on her hips impatiently, clearly having been forced to repeat this once before. "Be polite, don't leave Miss Yuffie's sight, stay with a friend, and don't drown."

"Sounds good, kid." Riku nodded, ruffling her hair before standing up once more. "Have fun." He waved them off, nodding at the calls of 'goodbye, Mr. Riku!' from the other children as they rushed out the door.

Part of Sora still couldn't believe that Riku was a father and a father of a little girl, at that. Another part of him was still surprised that he had been involved with a woman, though it really shouldn't have been that unexpected- Riku seemed to have a penchant for doing unexpected things.

The living room was dangerously quiet again, the two men both unsure on what they were going to say to break the silence. "When did you meet her?" Sora finally asked, turning to face Riku once more.

"A few years after I left- I was in Traverse Town, actually. I was just coming out of the little bookstore and we ran into each other." Riku glanced over at the pictures on top of the fireplace. "We ended up moving here for multiple reasons and got married a year later."

Nodding wordlessly, Sora's eyes fixed on the wood floors and took in the sight of a particularly long mar in the wood. He couldn't help but think that he had no place in this life. His place in Riku's life had ended more than ten years go, what right did he have going around and trying to worm his way back in? Was it him that had made Riku fall in love with a woman- was she a rebound? 'No, Riku wouldn't use someone like that,' he thought distantly.

"Sora, look at me." Riku ordered quietly, reaching out and brushing Sora's bangs away from his face in a gesture that mirrored what he had done years ago. Sora obeyed, finally allowing himself to really examine the other man, taking in the little nuances in what had changed and what hadn't. Riku had grown a few inches, filling out nicely, his face a little more angular than before. The hair was just as long as ever, his bangs tapering down in a neat line to where it brushed the middle of his back. A pair of dark jeans and a dark green shirt accented his eyes, making them stand out even more than they did normally.

"You look perfect," Sora finally managed, unable to get away from the shaky laughter that seemed to have plagued him from the moment he had stepped in the door.

"You're an idiot, Sora. I'm an ass and you know it." Riku exhaled sharply, looking as uncertain as Sora knew he probably did. "Are you staying with someone?"

Sora could feel the embarrassed flush rise on his cheeks. "I didn't really think too far ahead when I did this. I didn't even know if you would be here or not and-"

"You should...can, stay here. I have an extra room for when one of Aya's friends wants to stay the night. Though if you don't want to I can under-"

"That'd be... nice. If you're sure you don't mind." Sora's lips turned up in a hesitant smile at the nod. "Thanks."

There was another awkward silence, the two either carefully avoiding each other's gaze or glancing back down at the floor when their eyes met. It felt like hours before Riku suddenly spoke, his voice hushed and hesitant. "Do you think it would be possible to start over?"

"No." Sora answered, without a shred of hesitation, but then regretting it instantly. The shortness in his voice made even him wince. Swallowing hard, he wondered if he had just ruined everything that he thought they had just built up again with such a quick, small word. No. He wouldn't blame all of this on himself, not when it wasn't even he who had vanished without a trace- Riku was just as much at fault for this. "Riku, I don't mean it like that. Even when I was angry at you, I wouldn't give up any of the memories or act like we had never met each other before."

"You're so eloquent, now." Riku laughed lightly, his hands sinking into the pockets of his pants. Biting his bottom lip, Sora met calm blue-green eyes and smiled a real smile this time. "I like that answer."

--

The newcomer was interesting, that was something that Aya was sure of. More than once she had seen his pictures either framed or in her father's photo albums, but he had only been some random face. Now, she had a name and a personality to compare it to- he looked and sounded just like she would have expected him to. Even better, she decided firmly, was that he was willing to play tag in the front yard and she beat him every time.

When she had asked about what he and her father had been, Sora had only done his weird smile and replied with, "old friends." She didn't believe it all the way though- both Sora and her father had those sad looks on their faces, like when he talked about her mom.

At dinner when she had asked about it, her father had simply shook his head and told her it was late and that she should start getting ready for bed. Aya didn't bother arguing- he had that tone where he was tired enough and didn't want to answer any more questions for her- so she would just ask Sora. Unfortunately Sora had been just as useless, simply telling her the same thing that her father had, so there was really only one solution.

--

"Your daughter is a genius," Sora said as he helped Riku finish cleaning up the table. Handing two plates to the other man, he accepted the damp sponge and began to wipe down the table. "She kept asking me what we were and she was nearly running circles around me verbally."

"It's never been very hard, Sora," Riku teased, flicking water at the brunet when he got close enough. There was a raise of a brown eyebrow before Riku found a sponge connecting solidly with his face, less than clean water sliding down his cheeks and dripping off of his chin. "You're also dead."

Aya watched as her father tossed the sponge into the water and practically tackled the other man, pushing him against the wall with a snicker. "You lose," he said with a smirk, trailing soap bubbles down Sora's cheek and laughing openly at the face and insults that followed.

The older man had whispered something and then Sora had said something back that made her father blush of all things. There was what sounded like a, 'sorry,' and then the brunet pulled away quickly- she barely had time to whirl around and press herself against the wall, feeling the rush of air as he rushed past- not quite running but close enough.

A heavy sigh sounded from the kitchen and when she peeked around the corner she saw her father slump against the counter and press his forehead to the cabinets, hissing out a word that she had been warned to never use or she would get soap in her mouth as punishment.

A few minutes later, Aya was debating on if it was worth it to watch them a little while longer or to go to bed finally, like Sora had; waiting was boring. Surprisingly, Riku had walked out of his own bedroom a few moments later and moved down the short hallway to where Sora's room was- maybe he was going to say goodnight to him, too? "Aya, go to bed," Riku said, his voice rougher than usual as he glanced over to the small corner where she was hidden. "I'm serious this time; don't think I didn't see you earlier. I'll be in to say goodnight in a minute, but I have to talk to Sora again."

Scowling, Aya moved away from where she was hiding and back to her room, knowing that Riku was watching her all the way to make sure she closed the door. She would be sure to ask Sora in the morning.

--

Sora was stretched out on the twin-sized bed; one pillow was trapped half under his arm and the other half under his head. He had gotten a little neater since the last time that Riku had seen him- the clothes he had been wearing previously were folded on the chair on the other side of the room. A wry smile twisting his lips, Riku glanced once more at the clothes, remembering how Kairi had always nagged them about folding them so there wouldn't be wrinkles- maybe he had taken her advice?

On the bed, the brunet shifted, curling closer into the blanket, his breathing soft and even. The younger man's wallet was sitting on the desk under the curtain-covered window- Riku found he couldn't resist the curiosity. With a quiet snap it was open, revealing the paper munny that had started being used in the last few years, a worn piece of folded paper, and the very same picture that Riku himself had above his fireplace. With hesitation, he slid his fingers in and pulled out the paper, suspecting what it was that Sora would carry around with him. The very last letter he had written to them was not even to Sora himself, it was to Kairi to give to the brunet; it didn't surprise Riku that he had chosen to keep it. With a dull sound, the paper was opened slightly, before folded back into place- he knew what it contained.

"Isn't it bad to be going through someone's stuff when you're not supposed to?" Sora asked sleepily, shifting on the bed and rolling over so he could regard Riku with half-closed eyes. "I kept it."

The non-sequitur barely registered. "I noticed," Riku returned, unable to think of anything else he was able to say. A second later he looked down and managed to wipe the startled and mostly likely guilty look off his face.

Sora yawned, seeming to awaken fully as he sat up and swung his legs over the side of the bed. They were kind of like a mixed-up puzzle, he figured, or maybe a broken toy. All they had to do was arrange the pieces up, and they could build up from there- they could build up what had been broken down in eleven years. "We can start over, I think. I'd like to, anyway," he finally said, meeting Riku's bright blue-green eyes, holding one hand out. "Hi. I'm Sora, and you're my best friend, Riku. We lived on the Islands once, but you had to move away for a while. I missed you more than you'll ever know."

Swallowing hard, Riku shook Sora's hand, not resisting when he was drawn into an awkward hug. Instead, he sat down on the bed beside the brunet, his cheek on Sora's shoulder. "I missed you too, Sora." He laughed, the sound registering distantly, sounding full and real. "I've gotten my fill of leaving without a word."

"Good," Sora sighed out, relaxing against the taller man, his eyes sliding closed. "Good."

---

Bluuugh, sap.