Chapter 9:- Try to Remember
Sirius felt himself falling as the red light collided with his chest. How oddly pleasant it felt. His pain seemed to melt as he passed through the veil. He could hear voices from the outside and Harry's face was visible. He felt a lurch of sadness as Harry's face contorted in grief and Lupin pulled him away. By the looks of things Harry was putting up a valiant fight. Sirius tensed his muscles and tried to cross back to the other side. His efforts were fruitless and he felt himself falling again.
"I'm sorry Harry," he whispered, "I love you Min."
Remus felt his throat constrict as his best friend disappeared, never to be seen again. Harry burst from his grasp and he stumbled slightly. He didn't bother following Harry as he vanished around a corner after Bellatrix.
"Oh Merlin…" he gasped staggering slightly and bringing a hand to his mouth, "I have to tell Minerva…"
He sat down heavily on the stone steps and took several deep breaths. Moody crossed the room and sat beside him.
"Tonks needs to go the hospital. Can you…"
Remus raised a hand and stopped Moody mid-sentence. "I needed to go anyway," he said rising to his feet.
Moody gave him a curious look but didn't say anything. Remus brushed a stray lock of hair from his face in a bid to mask the dampness that threatened to spill forth down his cheeks. "I'm so sorry Minerva…" he said as he walked across the room and picked Tonks up from the ground. "Merlin I am so sorry…"
Remus approached Minerva's room with dread. He could hear her voice from inside obviously berating the nurse and let forth a nervous laugh which quickly faded. Taking several deep breaths to calm his nerves, he paused at the opposite side of the door and knocked sharply.
"Come in," Minerva called. Her voice was brusque and he knew that she hadn't heard of Sirius' death. He closed his eyes slowly and opened them again as the weight of culpability seemed to increase tenfold and weighed upon his broad shoulders.
Remus bit his lip until he tasted blood and turned the handle and entered the room. Minerva was sitting propped up by numerous pillows looking more tired than usual but otherwise quite well.
"Hello Remus," she said with a smile, "What brings you…" Her smile faltered as she saw the look on his face.
"What's happened?" she demanded.
Remus swallowed several times as his vocal chords ceased to function.
"Remus?" she enquired in a softer voice.
"It's Sirius," he said finally, "He went to the Ministry…he was fighting Bellatrix..." He found he couldn't continue and his mouth open and closed in a parody of speech.
"Remus please," Minerva whispered. Her eyes were pleading and he could tell she didn't want to hear what he had to tell her.
"He's dead Minerva," Remus said crossing the room and standing beside her bed.
Minerva shook her head roughly as if to dispel his words. "No he can't be," she said adamantly, "He can't be."
Remus placed two firm hands on her shoulders and looked into her emerald eyes. "I'm sorry Minerva," he said softly, "I'm so sorry."
He would later say that he had never heard a scream quite like the one that emanated from Minerva's mouth at his words. She clung to him tightly and he drew her close to him as she sobbed into his chest.
"I'm sorry Minerva…I'm so sorry…" he repeated over and over again into her thick hair. "I'm so, so sorry."
One week later
Remus walked through the door of the Noble House of Black and tried not to look at his surroundings. Every candelabrum, piece of furniture and stitch of carpet reminded him of the friend he had lost. He glanced at the hole in the wall that was the reminder of Sirius' temper and inhaled sharply. How ironic that he was the last of the Marauders. He moved toward the kitchen and faltered at the threshold. Minerva sat at the table with a letter clasped tightly in one hand. She had been released from hospital five days beforehand but he could tell she hadn't been taking care of herself. Her skin was almost translucent it was so pale and the only colour was from the charcoal smudges beneath her eyes. Tears streamed down her face as she mouthed the words of the familiar scrawl.
"Minerva?" Remus asked softly crossing the room and dragging a chair next to her.
She looked up at him through red-rimmed eyes. "Remus," she said softly.
"Is that...?" Remus asked gesturing at the piece of parchment clenched in her fist.
She nodded mutely and looked to have an inner debate before thrusting the paper toward him. Remus took the letter wordlessly and bit his lip to stop tears spilling forth as he read Sirius' messy writing. His letter was simple and to-the-point.
Minerva, you are my everything. Will you marry me?
He looked across at the witch next to him and noticed a glittering ring on a very significant finger. He couldn't fault Sirius' taste. The emeralds highlighted Minerva's eyes beautifully. Not overly ornate it suited the wearer's personality perfectly.
"I loved him," Minerva said hoarsely. "I really loved him."
"I know," Remus said softly placing a hand on her shoulder and squeezing it gently.
"It's not fair."
Remus shook his head as he rose to his feet. Minerva looked up at him. She had stopped crying but her eyes remained red and contrasted sharply with the emerald of her eyes.
"Remus?" she whispered, "Can you do something for me?"
Remus nodded. "Of course."
"Dance with me."
Remus smiled and held his hand out to her. She took his proffered hand pulled herself up to her feet. Remus folded her within his arms as a soft tune began to play.
Try to remember when life was so tender
That no one wept except the willow
Try to remember when life was so tender
That dreams were kept beside your pillow
Try to remember when life was so tender
That love was an ember about to billow
Try to remember and if you remember
Then follow—follow…
Author's note:- I know it's extremely sad and for that I apologise but I wanted to follow canon. Please review. Cheers. Minniequill
Note:- The song is called 'Try to Remember' – the version I have is a duet between Judy Garland and Liza Minelli