First off, I'm so glad you guys are enjoying the story.

Nicole-Kazan, thanks for the comment about the dialogue, I know there was a lot of it in this chapter and I'll try to be more careful in the future to make everything clear.

Your reviews make me happy. lol

Anyway…quick personal note. I may get about three chapters done today because…I need a distraction. Some of you may have been around a few months ago when I rather excitedly announced one of my best friends was pregnant and I was gonna be an aunt…well…Kyle was born this morning, way, way too premature…he's stable but he's on about four different machines breathing for him and everything else and…it's pretty touch and go. If he could have your thoughts and prayers, I'd really appreciate it. I'm so scared for him and…writing distracts me off the fact that he could be in another state dying right now. So…on to the writing.

I don't own LOST…though that drop down blast door would be useful for getting some privacy.

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By the time they had made it to the coast and pushed off in Alex's boat, the sailboat had a pretty big lead on them. Big enough that they didn't see it. Logic said that they had to have just gone around the coast a little ways, maybe to try and find a better, less obvious place to land. Sawyer had, of course, been the first to point out that they also wouldn't see the boat if Juliet had turned traitor and taken Kate back with her. Jack defended her, but he had his own doubts. Sawyer could see them in his eyes. There was nothing much to say, and for the most part they traveled in silence. Karl lay across one end of the boat looking somewhere between dead and barely living. Jack and Alex were rowing, and Sawyer himself was leaning back much closer to Karl than he normally would have been due to the cramped conditions of the little boat. As much as they were avoiding serious subjects, after awhile the lack of conversation was ridiculously boring. "So…what did that father of yours tell you about your mother?" Sawyer trailed one hand in the water, intentionally not looking openly at Alex. "He tell you…anything?"

"She…died when I was born. I never knew her. He…has one old picture of her, but it's his and…I've never seen it. He says I don't look anything like her."

Sawyer laughed. "Yeah I'll bet you don't. Whoever 'she' is that he's got some Polaroid picture of…she isn't your mother." He looked up at her, blue eyes calm but eerily intense. "I've met your mother."

Alex's forehead wrinkled in confusion. "You…can't have…"

"She's not dead."

In the bow of the boat, Karl stirred and groaned in his sleep. "No…no, stop it…"

"Karl?" Alex's concern overtook her and she edged as close to him as she could without sitting on Sawyer. "Karl, it's ok…no one's after you here…"

"They…the lights…they said I needed…forgiveness…"

Sawyer looked at him over his shoulder. "For what?"

The boy groaned, shook his head weakly until it rested against the wood planks. "I…don't…Alex?"

"I'm still here, Karl." Dropping the oar she reached forward and took his hand, squeezed it tight in her own. He squeezed back, weakly. "I'm here." Karl dropped back into sleep, his exhausted body unable to keep him awake any longer. Reluctantly, Alex released his hand and took up the oar. Sawyer watched her. The conversation about her mother was forgotten, for now, and he didn't feel like bringing it back up. She had to know sometime, though.

He wasn't sure how she would feel, or really, how she should feel. He wasn't even sure how he would have felt, had he been in her place. How would it be, to feel like you should love someone you had never even known, never even met? It'd be like asking you to love a stranger, simply by virtue of their DNA.

"Sawyer." Jack. He jerked his head forward, motioning back and to Sawyer's right. The shore. Right. Sawyer lifted himself up higher in the boat, shifting his weight carefully to keep from the excruciating pain in his leg when he tried to rest on it. Jack and Alex hopped out of the boat, pushing it forward until it was stable enough on the sand for Sawyer to climb unsteadily out of it. When he stumbled Jack caught him, holding him until he was steady before stepping around him to pick Karl up and carry him up the beach. Always the hero. Sawyer sighed. There was no sign of another boat as far as he could see. It didn't really mean anything, but it didn't help his nerves. Whether it was one day or any other literal length of time, he knew it was going to be too long until he saw Kate. And if Juliet had done anything-anything….he'd kill her.

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Night had fallen in the jungle, bringing with it the familiar pitch black and cries of insects and frogs. In a clearing about a half mile inland they had made camp and picked some fruit. Now, Jack and Alex sat before a small crackling fire. Sawyer was asleep on the outskirts of the clearing, curled up against a tree with his head resting on his arm. He had fallen asleep almost instantly from the exhaustion. Karl wasn't so lucky. He slept fitfully, resting for maybe 15 minutes at a time before he would half wake, muttering, groaning, tossing and turning. Jack had examined him more than once but if he was sick it was an unfamiliar sickness. Jack didn't know what to do, and was leaning more toward a diagnoses of exhaustion and extreme post traumatic stress disorder. He hoped he was right. Alex watched over him, her muscles tight with fear, biting her lip just short of the force needed to draw blood. "He's gonna be alright…isn't he?"

Jack poked the fire. "I think so. He just needs some rest. Sounds like…he's been through a lot."

"There were…all these pictures, on the screen, and music…really loud. I know they were doing something to him but it's not an experiment I've seen them do before…"

"What…experiments have you seen them do before?"

Alex shrugged, her eyes cautious. "Nothing serious." Silence. After a moment Jack looked over at her, eyes widening in surprise when he saw she was crying.

"Hey…it's ok. I'm sure…he's gonna be ok."

The girl shook her head, wiping tears off with the back of her hand. "It's not just that. When I…rescued him today…." She stared into the flames, her voice dropping to a whisper. "I killed a man."

It wasn't entirely what he had expected, but based on the blood he had seen on her hands earlier it wasn't too far off either. She was staring blankly ahead, without even blinking. It seemed best to let her talk before he said anything.

"He was…Karl's guard. I hit him in the head, with the slingshot, and I took his gun…I went to get Karl. But I hadn't hit him hard enough to keep him down, and on the way back I…I had to rest Karl against the wall, and I was adjusting my slingshot bag and he came up and had a gun on me…I hadn't thought to check him for it, I had been stupid and in a hurry and…he looked down at Karl, I knocked it out of his hand…I don't think he really would have killed me but he wanted to hand cuff me and take me back and all I could think was…what will happen to Karl? I was so…afraid they would really kill him this time. I…I keep a hunting knife on me and I…" Tears slipped from her wide eyes to slide down her cheeks. "I did it before I could even think and there was blood everywhere….I just….left him there and grabbed Karl and dragged him outside…."

"Alex." Jack's voice was soft and gentle and she almost looked up. She couldn't quite look him in the eye. He moved closer, rested one warm, comforting hand against her shoulder. "It's…it's gonna be ok."

"But I…I actually killed him…" she shook her head, slowly. "I never…wanted to kill anyone. I just wanted Karl to be safe."

Jack rubbed her shoulder comfortingly. She seemed so young, just then. "Of course you didn't. But…you were thinking of Karl, and you…reacted. You did what you could, right then. For someone you love. I think….I think that's different." Jack turned her head gently, made her look at him. "And I think that if I had been in your place, I'd hope I could do what you do. Protect him."

Alex sniffed slightly and rubbed her eyes. "I keep telling myself…I saved him but…I keep seeing Robert dead on the floor and…all the blood from his neck it's...I can't get it out of my head." She looked so lost Jack couldn't bear it and he pulled her into a hug. It could matter later that he didn't know her all that well, she needed someone.

"It'll pass. It'll be alright. Give yourself some time."

She was silent for awhile, her face buried in his shoulder. Her tears were slowing. "Danny told me once when I was younger…if you knew you had to…that it wasn't hard to kill…"

Jack shook his head. "No. I don't think that's ever true. Not for most people." His eyes slid past her to rest on the dying fire, his mind drifting through faces of those that had died under his care. "I don't think it ever should be."

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Initially, they had stopped at the dock. For Kate, it had an eerie familiarity. She could remember the feel of the planks under her knees, the worry in Jack's eyes, the rough weave of the bag as it was pulled over her head. She hated being there, and the ghost town of shacks just up the hill disturbed her even more. Even though she knew how to get back home from there, through the jungle, she wasn't too eager to leave the boat. So two hours later they had taken off again, sailing around the coast until something familiar came into sight. Kate's eyes were on the coast, intently and actively ignoring Juliet…until she saw a massive statue of a four toed foot. "Hey. What is that?"

Juliet studied it, eyes cold. "You think I know everything. Don't you?"

Kate glared. "You know more than me."

"Not about this island. Not about…things like that." Juliet gestured in the direction of the statue. "I mean, look at it…it was here long before us."

"And how long have you been here?"

"Personally? Three years."

Kate watched her closely as she answered, her eyes narrowed in concentration. If Juliet was a liar, she was a damn good one. Her voice was steady and her eyes didn't drift from Kate's. She was either telling the truth or extremely dangerous. Better to err on the side of caution. "Three years. And Ben?"

"All his life."

Kate filed that away to think more about later. If it was even true. Everything about them was so confusing. "Right." She looked back at the coast. It couldn't be long now, they had to be getting close. She couldn't help but feel a little excited. Coming home without Sawyer was still coming home. She could see Sun, Charlie, Hurley, everyone…it felt like an eternity they had been gone. "As soon as we get back…I'm starting off to look for Sawyer and Jack."

Juliet froze, hesitating. "Everyone else they're…not exactly going to welcome me with open arms, Kate."

"Well you're not gonna have me there to protect you. If you're scared of them," Kate tightened her hand on the rope. She could still see Shannon's body. She knew Sayid wouldn't have forgotten any easier. "and they have good right to hate you-but if you're so scared then come with me to find Sawyer and Jack. If you don't wanna come, deal with it. But I'm going no matter what you do. I couldn't care less what happens to you."

Juliet nodded in resignation, sinking onto the deck and leaning back. She understood. She knew she was hated pretty much universally…except for Jack. Jack no longer hated her. At least that was something.

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So…maybe I think if Juliet was alright, Jack would be perfect to help her. Maybe. But don't worry, if I go that route, it'll just be a side plot. Cause skate is too amazing to ever shift out of main focus. lol

Right well…hope this one was good. Wrote it with a colossal headache and lots of worries.

I 3 reviews. heh