Hello, and thank you for reading. My name is UnlikelyLoveUnimited. As for my name, I chose this moniker because I adore unusual pairings, Most of all Naruto and Tsunade. This does contain risqué material and subject matter, meaning it might be unsuitable for younger readers. The pairings will be primarily Naru/Tsunade, with some Naru/Anko and Naru/Hina, for those curious.

Please note that Naruto is not owned by me, it is owned by the incomparably brilliant Masashi Kishimoto.(Duh) Also, this story is a work of parody, not to be taken as canon.(Double Duh)

Naruto Umuzaki breathed in the cold night air as he stood on the second floor balcony of the Hokage mansion, looking up at the night sky. He turned around as he heard the door open. "Naruto, come back to bed. Anko and Tsunade are getting chilly without you." "Ha-ha, okay, Hinata-chan, I'll be right there, you go on ahead." As Hinata Hyuga went back into the apartment, Naruto took one last look at the night sky and saw three brilliantly bright stars, reminding him of the tree precious loves in his life, and the events that led to them finding each other,

"Another day, another dent." Naruto mumbled as he walked though one of the many small woods within the gates of Konohagakure. The foliage was light and controlled, unlike the dense woods just outside the city's gates. With the exception of a few cleared paths for traders, there was an almost impenetrable forest surrounding the city. Impenetrable for non-ninjas, anyway. That was the domain of the Anbu, but Naruto preferred finding solitude after a hard days training amid the nature within the city, which many of the village residents often took for granted. He had returned from a training pilgrimage with Jiraiya a day ago, the perverted hermit Sannin having taught him all he knew. It was supposed to have taken three years, but with the aid of the demon inside him, and an endless love of learning new techniques, In a mere 12 months he had absorbed all the wisdom and power that the perverted ninja master had to offer. For some reason Jiraiya wanted to keep going, but without anything left to teach, Naruto had began to long for his native soil. Gone was the effervescent confidence and bubbly bravado he held a year ago, replaced by guarded optimism and carefully planned action. He was not a sourpuss pessimist, by any means. After all, Naruto was still Naruto, orange outfit and all. But still, a year of training in near solitude had taught him the value of silence and restraint. His return had been triumphant, at least in his eyes, but the day had been less than stellar. While Jiraiya visited the Hokage, both to deliver his report and make yet another doomed attempt at flirting, Naruto busied himself with visiting all his old friends, but one meeting had been less than pleasant.

Sakura Haruno. Currently growing into a fine medic nin, Sakura studied under the Hokage herself. But despite her promising ability, there were several issues which made Sakura a less than promising protégé. When Sasuke abandoned Konoha, he had abandoned her as well, and Sakura had dealt with his leaving in a regressive way. Ultimately, she was more comfortable hanging on to what she was familiar with, what was comfortable for her. Her adoration of Sasuke as a kind of golden Adonis never wavered, even when most of his "fan club", including Ino, had moved on. Furthermore her coldness towards Naruto seemed to magnify, always giving him grief for even daring the most modest of friendly gestures. It was probably at Tsunades insistence that Sakura stomached the presence of the man "Who lost Sasuke-kun."

"I don't know what she's had to deal with, so I won't judge her, but damn, she didn't have to hit me quite so hard….Oh, well…Add another to the long list of people who hate me." Naruto sighed. Between her and the villagers, many of whom were extremely upset that his leave had not been permanent, Naruto had his work cut out for him. And he knew it. To be fair, he mused, not everything was going to hell, as he thought back to the other events of the day. Something that was positive in his eyes was the meeting of someone who he hadn't considered a friend up until now. Around noontime, while eating at Ichiraku's ramen, Naruto was approached by Mitarashi Anko, the special Jounin who had served as examiner during Naruto's Chunin exam. Apparently her favorite Dango shop was about next door to Ichiraku. She was beautiful, that was for sure, and she carried herself with a sensuality and aggressiveness that scared most people, but Naruto found intriguing. Their rapport was odd, to say the least; a unique mixture of bragging, flirtation and thinly veiled threats of violence somehow combining into a friendly conversation, all spoken between mouthfuls of dango and ramen. During this bizarre verbal dance, she did begrudgingly admitted that his victory over Neji Hyuga in the finals had been "pretty cool" and then made an innuendo about how he could put his amazing stamina to better use. That had sparked a kind of contest between the two, to see who could make the other more embarrassed by their conversation. After about five minutes Naruto was nearly choking on his miso ramen with every word that came out of Anko's mouth. She was simply too good at teasing. By using her wiles to fluster him, she was winning their little verbal contest, but Naruto quickly thought of a way to duck out without technically losing, and get the last laugh.

"I'll have to take you up on those offers some time, Anko-chan, I have to get going."

Anko grinned wide in victory at this.

"Oh, and thanks for covering the bill." Naruto quickly muttered under his breath.

Half a second later, Naruto was half way down the city block, leaving behind a momentarily confused and soon to be broke Anko. Ah, the "Dine N Dash, a classic" Naruto reflected. Yet another technique taught to him by Jiraiya.

"Argh! I'll get you for that, Uzumaki!"

Anko's voice echoed in the background as Naruto dashed towards a crowded open marketplace. Strangely, her tone had carried not only anger, but also a hint of playfulness, as if she knew she had lost the battle, but was swearing to win the war. Keeping up a decent clip incase the Special Jounin decided to chase after him. Naruto accidentally rammed right into someone.

"Ow! Dammit!"

"Gomen Nasai, are you all right?"

"Don't apologize; I was the one who was running full bore."

"Na-Naruto-Kun?!"

Rubbing his head and looking up, he saw who he had bumped into.

"Hinata-chan. Fancy meeting you here."

Normally almost always wearing a small pout ever since Naruto had left, Hinata broke out into one of the widest grins Naruto had ever seen. That was of course, for about three seconds, before Hinata fainted dead away, a small nosebleed apparent. Despite any progress she had made in the last year, she was still a little fragile, apparently. Once she had recovered they had walked all over the city, merely talking of days past and dreams of the future. She seemed deeply upset when evening came and they had to part ways for home. From what everyone would tell him later, Hinata had been downright depressed during his absence, but had blossomed with his return. It warmed him to think his friendship meant a lot to someone. Hinata was dark and shy, Naruto reflected, but once you got to know her she was very good friend.

Now walking through downtown, Naruto absentmindedly kicked a can lying in the street and muttered "So everything's not a total bust." He reaffirmed to himself. "The rest of the Genin nine were happy to see him, as well. A year hadn't been enough time to turn his world upside down. With the exception of Ino, who was taking her Training more seriously now, everyone else seemed much the same. Naruto took one last look at the evening sky, admiring its reds and oranges, before turning and heading for home. What he did not notice was several sneering figures hanging outside a nearby bar, and how they began to follow him once he was further down the road.

Tsunade drummed her fingers against her desk as her old comrade made his report. Jaraiya had come back far too fast. His purpose for taking Naruto out of Konohakagure was twofold: both to strengthen Naruto and stall the Akatsuki. They could not take him if they could not find him. But they had not counted on Naruto mastering Jiraiya's lessons so quickly. It had made sense, Tsunade considered, that a young man able to learn the Rasengan within a week could fully grasp Jiraiya's other techniques in a year. It was a costly miscalculation. Naruto was back in konoha, hardly a safe haven, as Kisame and Itachi's little incursion a year ago had made clear. But whisking him away again would not work, either. Tsunade truly believed that Naruto would become the Rokudaime. But in order to do so he would have to sway the hearts and minds of the villagers, starting with his peers and he could do no such thing hundreds of miles away. He was destined to be a leader, not a hermit.

"It can't be helped, Jaraiya. He's here to stay. The best we can do is try to protect him inside the village until he is strong enough to fight the Akatsuki."

"You mean assigning Anbu to be bodyguards?"

"No, many of the Anbu hail from clans which lost much family 13 years ago to the Kyuubi. At best they would be lax in their guardianship, at worst they might plot to harm him, and I will not tolerate that."

"Then what's the plan?"

"We will have to assign someone to be a personal mentor, probably a Jounin. Someone to continue fostering his abilities, while simultaneously protecting him."

"Any candidates?"

"None so far, unfortunately"

"Well, don't worry about it. The Akatsuki won't be here overnight. We still have some time to formulate plans. What say you and I go out for some sake to celebrate my return?"

Tsunade snorted at the toad hermit's self-importance. "Never in a million years, you perverted bastard, I swore an oath that no matter what life held for me, I would never go out with you."

Not even insulted, the hermit shrugged. "Just as well, I suppose, I've been longing to get back to the bathhouses, anyway…"

Jiraiya was forced to quickly vacate the room as Tsunade began hurling objects. Soon once again by herself, Tsunade fumed. Jaraiya may have been a great ninja, but he was a fool of a man. The truth was, Tsunade grimly admitted to herself, was that sake sounded really good around now, but she had promised Shizune to try to keep it to a minimum. There were still a few papers left on her daily pile of paperwork, but Tsunade, standing up and Putting on her green robe, headed out of her office towards her house for some much needed shut eye. Unlike the late Sandaime, Tsunade refused to reside at the Hokage Mansion, and instead choose to live in a normal house, not in the upper-class district, where the Hyuga compound, elders houses, and the now vacant Uchiha compound could be found, but closer to the market district, where the real Konoha citizens could be found As she was walking, she turned a corner, she came across the last sight she ever wanted to see; Naruto being beaten up by some drunken villagers.

Naruto almost laughed as a haymaker caused lights to explode before his eyes.It was pathetic, really. Their punches were slow and sloppy, their movements drunken and obvious, but Naruto was not able to fight them off. They had him pinned, leaving him unable to use ninjutsu to escape. Taijutsu and weapons weren't an option, either.This wasn't enemy ninja, it was drunken civilians, loyal Konoha residents who had drank one to many and decided to take their personal problems out on the village pariah.Harming them simply wasn't an option, especially since there would surely be some slimeball elder in the village who would be more that happy to use a few beat up drunks as a context to get him exiled or worse. A sharp kick to the ribs broke Naruto out of his reverie. They had gotten some rocks as well and were really beginning to do some real damage. Naruto could feel more bones beginning to crack, which is hardly surprising. What was surprising to Naruto was the sensation of the beating suddenly stopping, as he heard a familiar voice yelling in rage.

Tsunade was upon them like a cat among very drunk field mice, throwing punches left and right. It was actually lucky for them she was in a blind rage, as Tsunade's strength, when magnified by her perfect chakra control, would have been more than enough to kill them instantly. As it was, there were seven bleeding and concussed men laying in the street in under half a minute. Naruto tried his best to look straight at his savior, but his vision blurred as he began to lose consciousness. What he saw did not make complete sense. A tall, glowing silhouette of a woman, features indistinct, obscured by golden hair knelt protectively over him, holding him in her arms. He croaked out the only thing his brain could compute, punch-drunk as he was at the moment. "Kaa-san…" was all he was able to mutter before blacking out.

Tsunade quickly bent over Naruto and ascertained his injuries. It was pretty bad, with multiple fractures, and bruises all over. There were many cuts, the attackers thinking of arming themselves before attacking. She couldn't stand the thought of Naruto, the person to restore her hope, bleeding. Her fear of blood threatening to resurface, she steeled herself and picked him up. The hospital would be running on graveyard shift staff only, and was too far away at that. With the speed of a veteran ninja, traversed the rooftops to her house. As one of the greatest physicians of her time, she could do more for him right away than the hospital staff could.

Meanwhile, Naruto was struggling internally, his unconscious trying to piece together information of what just happened. "Someone, saved me? But who… it felt like…my mother? No, she died giving birth to me. But, it definitely seemed like a motherly figure, protecting me from harm.. The concern, the protectiveness, the love and the sorrow…Naruto could not figure out who saved him. "Maybe it was my imagination, maybe I'm still in the street, bleeding to death, and this is my minds way of handling it?" His mind screamed into the darkness. "Damn you, Fox… so this is how it ends, a thirteen years of struggling, only to die the night I get back at the hands of drunks? Is this what you want?"

The darkness quickly gave way to a world of red.

People Naruto had studied under, like Kakashi and Jiraiya, had assumed that the since the Kyuubi would offer its power in order to preserve its host's life, that they were somehow Symbiotic, that the for Naruto it was a useful thing, a conscious reservoir or container of chakra, to be used whenever seen fit. The truth was somewhat bleaker. The Kyuubi was a ravenous creature, an embodiment of rage, eager to whip everything in a sea of flames. The Kyubi was not a secret weapon. It was a living time bomb. But the demon knew better than to attempt its escape while Naruto was still young and weak. Such an attempt would be akin to trying to escape a prison cell by knocking down a supporting wall. For now, the fox toed the line, silently cursing the human for putting the both of them in such a situation. Had the boy merely been willing to kill a few worthless humans, they wouldn't be in the current situation. Nevertheless, demonic chakra within Naruto knitted his bones together and began to close the numerous gashes.

Tsunade quickly laid Naruto down on her bed as soon as she entered her apartment. Shedding her green gambler jacket, she quickly retrieved a medical kit in the adjacent room and quickly returned. Removing his clothes, which were by now caked red with dry blood, she examined him in detail. "I should have known. His wounds are already beginning to heal. But that doesn't mean he is in the clear, yet." Getting out a container of antibiotic/ pain relief salve, she began rubbing it into his wounds. Many of the cuts could easily infect, otherwise. It made Tsunade sick to her stomach that this could happen. More upsetting was the thought that it was probably not the first time, either. Closing her eyes, she remembered that dark day, thirteen years ago.

Arashi Kazama, the yodaime of Konoha, and the first foreigner to ever attain rank of "Kage" in the entire continent , had, in his waning moments, entrusted his newborn son with the awesome responsibility of the Kyuubi no Kitsune, hoping that the lifetime of wine, women and song that Naruto would surely receive as a beloved hero of Konoha, could somehow make up for his being orphaned. Things obviously did not go according to the Yodaime's last wish.

The salve worked quickly, causing the bruises to fade. However her rubbing got an unexpected result, as Naruto's member rose to full attention, as, even unconscious, the instincts within Naruto responded to the stimulation of Tsunade's massage. "Oh, my…" Was all that Tsunade could say, as she looked down at Naruto. At that moment, a series of thoughts ran though her head in quick succession. First was the knee jerk reaction of embarrassment, then triumph as she realized that Naruto would not have responded in such a way if he was still in pain, marking her treatment as a success. A few seconds later, another realization hit Tsunade. He was large for his age. Taking into account his youth, and the fact he had just begun to hit his growth spurts yet, it was amazing. Perhaps it was something inherited from the Yondaime? He was not outrageous in his endowment, but nevertheless stood favorably to an average grown man. There was a small sense of pride in Tsunade as well. Naruto typically claimed her to be a dried up hag, but it was she who had made Naruto feel this way simply by touching him gently. That then led to another link in her chain of responses, guilt. Not only for her last thought, but for the fact that Naruto would react so extremely to comforting touch. It occurred to her that the only sensation his body was used to from others was abuse. This led to a final thought, a quiet, sly thought that had rested dormant in the back of her head for almost a year and a half now, ever since she had met Naruto, that now drew louder in louder in the back of her mind as she struggled with it's implications.

"I couldn't…could I? Of course not, I'm four times his age, the very idea is sick….but, then again… why not? Would it be so bad to make someone who had suffered so much feel good for once? I need this as well; I've been alone so long."

Slowly, uncertainty, she inched her hand down his chest, down his stomach, and right as it was about to wrap around Naruto's member, the familiar voice of a curious boy caused the Godaime's to bolt upright in shock.

"Tsunade-bachan, what are you doing?"

"Naruto! I-I Can Explain!"

End Part One

Whoo! That took me forever to write! I hope that people enjoy this. I have always had an obsession with Naruto/Tsunade, but I didn't want to write a plain vanilla lemon. This lemon is going to have some serious story to it, with motivations and reasons behind actions, in addition to some sexy scenes. P.S. Formatting fixed. As per reviewer requests, no more double space, save for dialogue