This is the crack-iest fic I have –ever- done, but it's superbly fun, I did with Nitwittie (ffnet) there are a lot of cut scenes because it was just tooo much smut to be just 'M' Hahha, so if you want the smut cut scenes, just go to my livejournal - Yukishuii Crazy for my bestfriend uncensored chap 1-5.

Remember this is a fun crack fic, so many things might be out of hand D It's for the fun of reading and fulfilling one's fantasy of these two boys and their father. So have fun reading Giggles.

Warning: This is a yaoi fic, the 'M' says it all, so if you don't like man love the 'back' button is a click away :D . And I am serious, this is super Yaoi so if you don't like, save yourself.

Summary: Kyoya and Tamaki decide to hit it off with each other after the Ouran high festival, resulting to another kind of relationship in their lives. But it wont be easy for these two boys when both their fathers find out. TamaxKyoX Tama, YuzuruxYoshio

XXX

Tamaki gave Haruhi that dazzling smile she secretly loved. "Haruhi, I truly do adore you-,"

Kyoya coughed.

"As a daughter," Tamaki quickly put in, "But you know I always want to protect you and take care of you. Marrying you was something that our fathers conjured up without us knowing. And being caught in a loveless marriage… I wouldn't want to see my daughter go through that!" His eyes widened as he thought about it.

Ranka glared at Tamaki, "Hey! How many times do I have to say that I'M her only father?!" He powwed Tamaki with his fist like always.

Kyoya looked at Ranka-san and smiled, "So I guess that means we are all alright?"

Ranka looked at Kyoya for a while, racking through his brains, looked at Haruhi who smiled lightly and nodded, he then nodded as well "Yes, Kyoya, we are." He smiled.

"Thank you," Tamaki said, an honest smile on his lips.

To his surprise, Ranka smiled gently at him. "No, thank you. I thought that this marriage would be good for the both of you, but perhaps I wasn't listening clearly when Haruhi told me that your love was only platonic."

Haruhi glared at him. "You admit that now?"

Ranka smiled nervously. "Aah, yes. Sorry, my beloved daughter! Otou-san was too lost in his excitement to understand!"

Tamaki jumped up. "Hah! You don't listen to her properly!"

"Neither do you," Haruhi muttered.

Ranka narrowed his eyes and jumped up, "I was excited! Besides if it weren't for you and your horrible miscalculated advances onto my daughter none of this would've happened."

"But I'm her otou-san!" Tamaki started.

"Oh don't you start-," Ranka and Tamaki started arguing again.

Haruhi shook her head, "If only they took time to listen properly."

"You're really alright with this Haruhi?" Kyoya asked looking at her as the two wacko men were still at each other.

Haruhi looked down at her tea then looked up to see her father and Tamaki arguing.

"Yeah…" she nodded once, then looked at Kyoya. "Yes I am." She nodded again. "I just want you and sempai to be happy."

Kyoya didn't miss the pain in her eyes when she looked back at Tamaki. "Thank you," he said, meaning more than one thing.

She nodded, understanding exactly what he meant. "I hope you will make each other happy."

"We already have," Kyoya replied, not missing a beat.

"Come, Tamaki. We have other things to do, like planning a wedding."

Tamaki stopped arguing abruptly. "Let's go then!" He waved goodbye to Haruhi, smiling fondly.

Once the boys were out of the place Ranka shook his head, "Teenagers these days. And I thought I was a problem." He laughed.

Haruhi stared at the door for a long time, then looked at her father and smiled brightly, "Otou-san, what do you say we have ohtoru?"

Ranka clapped his hands, "Good idea! er-what?" Haruhi laughed and dragged him out.

XXX

"That went well!" Tamaki said happily in the car as they drove home.

"Umhmmm…" Kyoya said… it amazed him how CLUELESS Tamaki was. "I haven't seen my father today. Not that it's something new…"

"Oh yeah… I wonder how your dad is… how mine is?" Tamaki said.

At Ootori Manor -

Yoshio smiled for the first time in a long while. "Do you think we could give ourselves another chance?"

"Do you think we deserve it?" challenged Yuzuru, a smile playing on his lips.

They kissed tenderly. "Definitely."

"We should thank our sons," Yuzuru said.

Yoshio looked a little disgruntled but nodded. "Yes, we shall celebrate their engagement tonight."

"I love you,"

Yuzuru said, leaning in to kiss Yoshio again.

"I just know I'm making a decision I totally hate… but won't regret," Yoshio said, shaking his head talking about both the wedding and their get together.

He looked at Yuzuru. "…. Me too," he said quietly.

Yuzuru beamed up ever so happily and kissed him deeper and harder now.

"Let's stop before we get carried away again. While our sons might be up to it, we're old men now, our bones can't handle it," Yoshio said, getting up from the messy bed.

He helped Yuzuru out of the bed and led him to the bathroom so that they could get cleaned up.

XXX

Tamaki beamed in front of Kyoya.

"What?" Kyoya asked, holding his clipboard and looking at Tamaki as people bustled around the place.

"I got an idea." Tamaki said beaming.

"Umm hmm care to share?" he asked. "And nothing fancy, Tamaki. We're only having family and friends… hardly much family but more friends, so nothing fancy okay?"

Tamaki nodded like a dog, "Kyoya… wear this!"

He held up an ivory long A-lined shaped dress. "It's Vera Wang!"

Kyoya glared. "You only need one cock in a relationship, two's just pleasurable. How does castration sound, Tamaki?"

Tamaki's blood drained out of his body and turned white. In a meek voice Tamaki said, "Me..Meann Okaasan…"

Lightning flashed in the background and Kyoya's glasses glinted menacingly before he turned around and ordered that the dress be burned.

Tamaki shuddered as he felt the coldness coming from boyfriend's aura. Then he screamed, "NO, It's VERA WANG! She makes the BEST Wedding dresses! And it looks awesome on dark haired tall people like you!!!!"

Kyoya turned, glasses flashing.

Tamaki hushed and shook slightly as he repressed his comments.

"Tamaki, I understand you wish to help but wouldn't you rather have a chat with Haruhi? I believe she's a tad distressed that her daddy is getting married."

Tamaki looked at dress and attempted to get it back from under Kyoya's nose.

"Haruhi?" He stopped. "HARUUUHIIIII!!!" He suddenly jumped up, remembering he had totally forgotten about how Haruhi was doing. "Why is she upset? What daddy? Is her daddy getting married?" For a moment thinking it was her real father, "OHHHHHH" Then he realized. "Why would she be upset? Haruhi is upset???!!" His eyes sparkled.

"I must go to her immediately!" Tamaki cried, flinging himself out of the room.

Kyoya shook his head and repressed the tinge of jealousy bubbling up within him. It was only Haruhi after all, yes...only Haruhi. Growling under his breath as his light mood evaporated, Kyoya set his brow and began planning the wedding.

He wouldn't let her ruin it for him, not after all the trouble he went through.

Kyoya looked at the dress and sighed, did Tamaki really want him to wear that? He took it and kept it away... Just...in case. Kyoya cringed, he didn't know how much Tamaki could affect him-it was bad. But no one would know he kept it anyways, he'd burn it after he knew Tamaki wasn't really serious about it-not like he was going to wear it anyways. Now back to the chickens…

Tamaki ran off to look for Haruhi, he was slightly happy that the girl was 'upset' but at the same time he wanted to comfort her so she wouldn't be! He hated it when his daughter cried. "Haaruuuhiiiiii," he called out and turned a corner to find her there.

"Haruuhiii!!" He jumped up and glomped the girl.

Haruhi yelped then stood stock still. Her eyes closed in exasperation as she realized just who had glomped her.

"Hello, Tamaki-senpai," she greeted cordially.

"My poor daughter!" cried Tamaki. "I hate knowing you're so upset about my upcoming wedding!"

Haruhi pushed Tamaki off her head suddenly feeling angry. "Who said that? I'm happy for you and Kyoya-senpai. You two deserve each other."

Tamaki did not notice the slight bitterness in her tone. He bounded back over to Kyoya.

"Where should we put the chickens?" gruffly asked a deliveryman.

"Take them directly to the kitchen. The butchers are waiting," Kyoya instructed.

Tamaki heard and looked at his fiancé in shock. "We can't kill those chickens!"

"What will we eat if we don't?" Kyoya asked sarcastically.

Tamaki fled to a corner to sulk. Mushrooms popped up around him. A chef who had been waiting to direct the deliveryman to the kitchen inspected the mushrooms before gathering them into a basket.

"These mushrooms are amazingly fresh," he commented.

"Indeed they are, aren't they?" Kyoya said proudly as Tamaki continued growing mushrooms.

"Kyoya! Why do you have to be so mean? They're live chickens for goodness sake!" Tamaki said like a little boy still all in his corner.

Kyoya wrote something on his clipboard and looked at Tamaki. "Tamaki, stop sulking and take those mushrooms over there. Throw it in the chicken pot roast."

Tamaki squealed again and continued sulking, popping up more mushrooms.

"Thank you master Kyoya and Tamaki, these are all the mushrooms I need for my chicken entrées. And it'll all be mostly chicken!" the chef said happily going back into the kitchen.

Kyoya rolled his eyes at his still sulking boyfriend and draped an arm over his shoulder. "Do get up, Tamaki. I want this wedding to be perfect for tonight. We've forsaken so many traditions just by organizing everything by ourselves, instead of taking the day off to relax. Father isn't pleased either. We weren't supposed to see each other today until the wedding, yet look at us. After all we've gone through, please, for one day, just accept everything that's happening. I feel almost as if you don't want this wedding to happen."

Tamaki stopped sulking and turned to look at his lovely fiancé's face. "I know, but you're wrong. I do want this to happen. I know your father is not okay with this… but mine is! And so am I!" he said energetically. Then he smiled as he leaned to kiss Kyoya's lips, "And I agree with everything but the chicken slaughtering"

At that moment they heard a few chickens wail.

"Too late." Kyoya smirked before he gave another kiss to Tamaki before the blond cried and went off to a corner again.

The twins coughed. "Tono, Kyoya-sempai, it's about time you two got dressed."

"We still have 4 hours until the wedding though," Tamaki said, confused.

Kyoya shook his head and left to get dressed. The twins looked at Tamaki with raised eyebrows. When Tamaki opened his mouth to object, their eyes glinted dangerously. He shuddered and nodded.

"Thank you for telling me to dress, Hikaru, Kaoru. I might have forgotten otherwise," Tamaki said before running off to change.

Hikaru and Kaoru shook their heads.

"I really don't know how Kyouya-sempai is going to handle that oaf." Hikaru told his brother who nodded.

"Totally. But I don't know who I pity more actually." The both laughed thinking about it. Then sighed at the same time.

"Wouldn't it be different?" Hikaru asked.

Kaoru smiled and shook his head, "They were mom and dad before… so no, no difference." They both smiled as they walked back into the hall, continuing to help tie up loose ends in the ceremony before it starts.

"Start the music!" Yoshio said, smiling reluctantly.

Tamaki licked his lips nervously as he stared at Kyoya who stood across from him. They had decided that since they were both men, they would simply begin by standing across from each other instead of walking down the aisle.

The pastor opened his book. He looked at Tamaki and then Kyoya.

"Shall we proceed?" he asked, voice wizened with age.

Tamaki and Kyoya nodded, yes they were proceeding. Everyone was seated appropriately. The host club members got the first seats. It could be seen that the host club members were happy this was happening.

The pastor started the tradition of talking a lot, but paused every few minutes when he asked the crowd if they would want to stop the wedding for any reason or forever hold their peace.

For a moment there Tamaki actually worried because, who knows? There would be people disagreeing to this marriage.

Kyoya however looked calm and cool, but his eyes occasionally darted to a few men in black suits around the hall. Kyoya had it ready that if anyone wanted to disagree and stop the wedding the men in black suits would handle it before they could even raise their hands.

So, no one did anything, and they proceeded to their vows.

"Will you, Suoh Tamaki take Ootori Kyoya to be your lawfully wedded husband?" the pastor asked.

"Yes," Tamaki said, face strangely serious.

Kyoya understood that Tamaki wanted to show him that he truly meant it. In response, Kyoya smiled widely.

"Will you, Ootori Kyoya take Suoh Tamaki to be your lawfully wedded husband?"

"Of course."

"Then it is done. I now pronounce you husband and husband. You may kiss the husband," the pastor said, closing his book.

"Mon ami," Tamaki whispered against Kyoya's lips, before kissing the man senseless.

The whole hall burst out with joy, congratulating them and throwing confetti into the air. The Hitachiin brothers were hugging each other saying stuff like 'Milord is married, mom is married', Honey was jumping for joy on his chair while Mori smiled and clapped happily. Haruhi was with her father, smiling widely at her two close friends who finally got together.

"So do I carry you and run down the aisle?" Tamaki asked grinning near his husband's face.

Kyoya gave him a menacing look, "Do that and I make sure this will be the most memorable wedding day you will ever have."

"Looking forward for it." Tamaki couldn't help but laugh and kiss Kyoya again. With that another rupture of noise went off in the hall as the girls went moe, and everyone else giggled with happiness for the two boys.

They grasped each other's hands and walked down the aisle, smiling and waving at their friends and family. Just before they left the hall, Tamaki grinned and pulled out a bouquet. He closed his eyes and threw it over his head. Haruhi gasped as she caught it. She smiled sadly but perked up quickly and grinned.

Tamaki winked at her before he and Kyoya left. They laughed and ran to the limo that awaited them.

The twins were wiping their tears, along with the others in the crowd.

"Well, at least we know they can spend all their life happy together," Hikaru said.

"If they could stand each other for those last 2 years… another 50 will be a breeze." Kaoru blew into his tissue.

Haruhi hugged the bouquet of flowers. "Yeah, those two idiots." She grinned.

While inside the car, Tamaki continued kissing Kyoya, the kiss shouldn't have been different but it was somehow, probably because they were officially together. It couldn't get more official than this.

"I love you Ootori Kyoya."

"I love you Ootori Tamaki," Kyoya murmured, biting Tamaki's lips.

"Oh, Kyoya," Tamaki moaned.

The driver up front rolled down the glass separating them and glared. "Save it for your honeymoon, you two. I don't fancy cleaning those seats afterwards."

Kyoya arched a brow and the driver paled. "I'm sorry for my outburt, Ootori-san. I just..."

"It's all right," Tamaki interrupted. "Thanks for stopping us before we got too carried away."

Bang!

Kyoya's back hit the wall of the luxurious suite he got for their honeymoon. Tamaki kept on kissing him, devouring him, his hands quickly shedding his jacket and helping Kyoya out of his as well.

"Make love like newlyweds…darling?" Tamaki asked Kyoya softly while he was unbuttoning Kyoya's shirt. Kyoya was doing the same to Tamaki's shirt as well, he nodded.

"Whatever… honey." He smiled impishly when his hand went down to Tamaki's pants and rubbed against him.

Tamaki hopped up and wrapped his legs around Kyoya's waist. Kyoya flipped their positions around and groaned as Tamaki ground his hips.

"Minx," Kyoya said, playfully.

Tamaki lapped at Kyoya's lips, backing off slightly to look at him seductively. His voice was husky when he asked the million-dollar question.

"Who's topping, mommy?" he purred.

Kyoya felt his blood drain into his other head.

"Hmmm, I wonder who." Kyoya asked his love back while he dipped his head to suckle Tamaki's nipple through the white shirt.

(( Here is where it has to cut off again and you have to go to PART 3 at my livejournal for the uncensored version hahha. Me and Nitwittie kinda had fun too much at this part. Yes who tops? Giggles.))

Kyoya pulled Tamaki down to rest by his side. "God, I love you, Ootori Tamaki."

Tamaki smiled and cuddled against Kyoya, "I love you back Suoh Kyoya." He giggled. He lay next to Kyoya, basking in the afterglow. Tamaki still couldn't believe he was married and bounded to Kyoya forever. That didn't sound bad at all. He wasn't scared of being with Kyoya forever at all.

"I really love you."

XXX

A/n: Ahahhaha xD Okay see what I meant by this is by far my CRACK-iest fic ever? And if you want to read the totally uncensored version you have to go to my livejournal- yukishuii, to get part 1-5 uncensored , I realize its easier to put there then all over the place. I think you would understand why I had to put it somewhere else because FFnet doesn't really allow my explicitness . But this was a fun fic to do with nitwittie. Cracky and fun, its all for the love of Tamaki and Kyouya!!! Hope you guys enjoyed that. Hahaha. Don't forget to review 3