A/N: Okie dokie, so I got a few very lovely reviews, and I'd like to thank all of you for taking the time to read and review… and I'd like to thank the silent readers too, just because I'm usually a silent reader, and I know that it can be kind of hard to hit that review button. ;) Anyway, so far (when I'm writing this…) I have 174 hits on my fic, so thanks so much to everyone who contributed to that!
OK, so you know how once you get an idea in your head, sometimes it won't go away? That's how this fic came to life… (pardon the pun, please) and the second "chapter" as well. There were certain parts about what I wrote the first time around that bothered me, and a couple of my reviewers pointed out mistakes. So, this version corrects those mistakes and fixes the parts that were driving me up the wall. I left the original just so that you can compare, if you so desire.
Sorry about the long author's note.
Disclaimer: I still don't own Twilight. I still don't own Evanescence or Bring Me to Life… and I still don't own the computer I'm typing this on (It's definitely still my mom's…) so don't sue me please.
On to the second version story…
Bella's POV:
Alice giggled with me as she positioned me outside so I could watch in Edward's window when he returned from hunting. We were going to surprise him, well, we were going to try, anyway, and I had to know exactly when to act. Alice said she would enter his room and give me the cue through the window, so she went inside the house and I waited patiently in the dark for something to happen. After what seemed like ages, a light flickered on and Edward stepped into his room. He was followed in by… another girl? I blinked and looked again, hoping it wasn't real. Unfortunately, the girl didn't disappear, and I watched in horror as she and Edward laughed. He looked so happy, so carefree, that I wondered who she was. I waited patiently while they talked, trying to keep my thoughts away from the possibility that he might like her more than me. I started to fidget from my hiding spot, and I wished that they would quit talking so that Alice and I could finish our plan.
All thoughts of the plan vanished, however, when I saw what happened next.
Edward hugged the other girl.
It was too much for me. I knew that he loved me, but the possibility that he loved her more was definitely there. I gave a small cry as my face twisted in anguish. The cry was almost to quiet for me to hear, but since he was a vampire his ears definitely picked it up. In a motion too fast for me to see he was at his window with his hands cupped around his face so he could see outside.
How can you see into my eyes like open doors
His topaz eyes met my brown ones, and he instantly looked guilty. We stayed like that for a few seconds, with his eyes searching mine for something. It didn't last, though, because I turned and ran away. I ran like I had never run before, away from my life and anything associated with it and the pain from which I couldn't escape.
Edward's POV:
I flung myself towards my door, but Alice beat me to it and blocked my way.
"Let me through!" I growled, but she shook her head.
"No," she said. "Leave her alone. She'll calm down, and then you can explain things to her."
I growled, but obeyed and went to sit on his couch next to the other girl before standing up again. Sitting wouldn't do any good, so I paced around my room, trying to wait until Alice would let me go.
Bella's POV:
Leading you down
into my core, where I've become so numb
I ran blindly, running into branches and bushes and tripping over roots. The pain hadn't completely caught up with me yet, and I knew if I stopped that it would hit me full force.
Without a soul (without)
Oh, to be without a soul would be bliss, as long as I was with Edward. Why can't he understand that I don't care about an eternity without a soul? I would rather die a thousand deaths than lose him again… even though I already had.
My spirit
sleeping somewhere cold
Until you find it there and lead it
back...home
Home. Home was anywhere where Edward was… until this happened. Fresh tears welled up in my eyes as I thought about what I had just seen… and I tripped over another root and hit my head, hard, against a tree. I stayed on the ground this time, not bothering to get up. It wasn't worth running, because that image would always haunt me, the image of Edward with another girl… another vampire. He had to love her, and it would haunt me forever, knowing that I had lost my love.
(Wake me
up)
Wake me up inside
I closed my eyes and begged for darkness… for the end. I had lost Edward before, right after my birthday, and I wasn't sure I wanted to live. I had survived, Edward had returned, but now he belonged to someone else, and I begged for the end to come. I couldn't live without him.
(I Can't Wake
up)
Wake me up inside
Darkness didn't come like I wanted it to-only images of Edward and the other vampire plagued my thoughts. I wasn't aware of my surroundings, like I was unconscious, but I still saw those terrible images.
(Save me)
Call
my name and save me from the dark
The blissful darkness finally rose to claim me, and I gladly succumbed to it, but not before whispering the name which hurt so much. "Edward."
(Wake me up)
Bid
my blood to run
(I can't wake up)
Before I come undone
(Save
me)
Save me from the nothing I've become
Without Edward I was nothing, and once I knew he wasn't mine, I knew what I had to do. Only Edward could save me, but a bitter feeling told me that he wouldn't. I drifted in and out of consciousness, vaguely noticing that I was loosing blood, and a lot of it, from the gash on my head from where I hit the tree. I started to feel cold, and I knew that the end was near. I smiled bitterly; I wouldn't suffer for much longer.
Now that I know what I'm without
You can't just
leave me
He left me for another girl, left me for the pain and anguish to claim me.
Breathe into me
and make me real
Bring me to life
His intoxicating sent, his eyes, every perfect detail about him burned in my memory as I drifted. I couldn't focus on anything but him.
(Wake me
up)
Wake me up inside
(I Can't Wake up)
It was getting harder to concentrate, harder to remember where I was. I remembered running, and why, always why… but I couldn't remember how far I had run. I couldn't wake up from my depression, and consciousness was trying to escape me too.
Wake me up
inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me from the dark
"Bella!" I knew I was just imagining my Angel's voice calling my name; it was just another hallucination like I craved so often before, after he left.
(Wake me up)
Bid
my blood to run
My blood was running, running right out of my body, though it had slowed, that much I could tell.
(I can't wake
up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing
I've become
Bring me to life
It started to rain, and the water filtered down through the leaves, shocking me back into the land of the living. I sat up carefully and tried to move to a dryer spot. I was already miserable enough emotionally; I didn't need to be wet too.
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing
inside)
Bring me to life
I knew Edward loving me
was too good to be true. Our love had been a lie the entire time,
and I realized now that there was nothing there from him. Only my
unrequited love… I looked around my surroundings and realized where
I was. An idea came to me then, and I pushed myself up off the
ground and started running again, stumbling towards my destination.
Edward's POV:
Frozen inside
without your touch,
Without your love, darling
Only you are the
life among the dead
Both literally and figuratively, Bella is my life. I may be a dead vampire, but Bella brings out the human side in me-the side which makes me feel so alive. I thought about Bella, about the pain that she must be feeling at this moment because she thought I had left her… and I kept glaring at Alice for not letting me leave. Suddenly, she went stiff, and I could see her vision at the same time that she was having it. I didn't even bother waiting for it to finish when I saw what Bella was planning; I was past Alice and out my door before the vision had even come to a close. I couldn't let that happen. I ran as quickly as I could, following her scent through the woods. I'd have to explain what she saw-it wasn't what she thought it was. That girl was one of my old friends, nothing more. Bella had seen me with her and misunderstood.
(All this time I can't
believe I couldn't see)
(Kept in the dark but you were there in
front of me)
Bella had been there, been there and seen me hug the girl, and she was right there, in
front of my window, waiting there because she and Alice were planning
a surprise for me and she had to be outside so I wouldn't notice
her. I hadn't noticed, alright… I mentally scolded myself while
I ran for being so unobservant.
I've been sleeping a
thousand years it seems
Got to open my eyes to everything
Looking back, it seems like a thousand years passed by in my life before Bella. She's everything to me, and I love her more than she will ever know. When she came into my life, it was like I woke up and opened my eyes to the world for the first time.
(Without a
thought, without a voice, without a soul)
I had lost my voice because of the fear that Bella would go through with her plan. I ran as fast as I had ever run before, trying to reach her. I ran so fast, and I was so caught up in my thoughts that I somehow lost her scent and had to run back to backtrack. I was loosing precious time in which I could be saving Bella.
Bella's POV:
I stood at the edge of a cliff, ready to jump. My mouth smiled, despite my order not to. I could end my life and not feel any more pain. This wouldn't be like the cliff diving, because there was no water at the bottom here, only unforgiving rocks. It would make my end a quick one.
Don't let me die
here
I thought of Charlie and hesitated. How could I leave my family behind? Would my death cause them the same grief that I was feeling right now? I stepped back, away from the cliff as I pondered.
(There must be
something more!)
Bring me to life
Oh, Edward, Why did you have to love her?! I flung myself from the top of the cliff and yelled, "I'll always love you, Edward Cullen!" I closed my eyes as the wind rushed past me, ushering me closer to my final peace.
(Wake me up)
Wake me up inside
(I Can't Wake
up)
Wake me up inside
(Save me)
Call my name and save me
from the dark
(Wake me up)
Bid my blood to run
(I can't wake
up)
Before I come undone
(Save me)
Save me from the nothing
I've become
Bring me to life
I could tell the ground was coming closer. I knew I would die soon. As I came closer, I realized I regretted my decision. I'd never see Edward's face again, never feel his cold skin, never be dazzled by those eyes… even if he didn't love me, I still wanted to see him one more time before I died. But, despite my situation, I couldn't feel sorry for myself. Death was near, and I was unnaturally calm. I squeezed my eyes shut a second before I knew I would hit the ground.
(I've been living a lie, there's nothing inside!)
"I'll always love you, Edward." I whispered again.
"I'll
always love you too." He whispered as he caught me. I hit his
granite arms with a grunt and looked up into his loving eyes. They
held only love for me, and in that moment I understood then that it
had all been a misunderstanding. I started to cry as I clung to him
and buried my face in his chest. I had been so close to never seeing
My Angel again, and I realized now how foolish I was to think that he
didn't love me. He seemed to understand my pain, so he didn't
lecture me as he held me close and ran back to his house.
Bring me to life.
A/N: Ok, so there it is. The second version. I think I fixed everything that people pointed out. Special thanks to loveatfirstsite2 and Asquared91 for pointing out my errors (plot and spelling, respectively). Thank you to the rest of you for taking time to read it (again), and please, please, PLEASE review (Again. Aren't I demanding?).
Addie W.