well everyone, here it is, the final chapter of Something Lost. i just want to say that i absolutly loved writing this story, and i am so happy you all enjoyed it as much as me, i am very sad to see it ending. thank you all again for the wonderful reviews, they really, really do mean alot to me.

let me know if you would like to see Kerri again, either as an adult or as a child, i have a few ideas but i wont post them till i see how everyone feels about her.

again, thank you all for your support, and enjoy. :)

D: dont own them, just having fun.

SOMETHING LOST

Chapter 23

Dean sat at the old wooden table, his head down, half eaten sandwich forgotten as he poured over the book on his lap. It had been a week since their ordeal in the mines, but to the weary hunter it seemed like a lifetime. He was still covered in bandages, his arm still in its brace, skin still far too pale, but he was alive and healing, and at the moment that was all that mattered.

It had been so long since he had just relaxed, just laid back and let the world around him float by, let his mind wander to happier times. Their last hunt had been too close for him, his brother and Kerri nearly loosing their lives because of him, because of the mistakes he had made throughout his short twenty- eight years. He had made it his purpose, his goal to keep them safe, and he had been used as bait to lure them to their deaths, lure them into darkness to make him suffered. And he vowed that he would never let that happen again, that he would be better, be stronger, be smarter. That he would die before he ever placed the two people he loved in harm's way.

He looked up when he heard a shuffling by the stairway, Sam's tall frame silhouetted in the shadows, shoulders hunched, hands in his pockets as he looked sheepishly at his brother. Dean had been nearly comatose by the time he and Kerri had managed to pull him from the mines, his fever having spiked so severely that neither was sure if they would be able to get it back under control. Sam had thanked god so many times over the past two weeks that he had lost count.

He had thanked him when Dean turned up, bandaged but alive in the motel room. He had thanked him when they found Kerri, when he finally remembered his lost youth. He had thanked him when he found a way to get his brother and friend out of the tunnel, and he had thanked him over and over again when the fires that were raging around them died out with the cries of the spirit. Because, the youngest Winchester knew far to well, that if the fires had continued to burn, there would have been no way for them to escape.

He lowered himself slowly into the seat opposite his brother, Dean merely nodding at him before turning back to the book. It had been like that for days now, both men too afraid to talk to each other, too afraid to relive their latest ordeal. All their lives they had lived on thin ice, always knowing that one mistake, one wrong move and everything they had would come falling down around them. And this time was no different. They had let their guards down and they had almost paid the price. And it left the brothers with nothing to say.

Sam had been secretly grateful for Kerri, the young girl acting as a sort of buffer between the boys, helping them ease into conversations, her mere presence filling a little bit of the silence that had descended around them. But he knew that that wouldn't and couldn't last. They had to move on, and he knew that Kerri would not be coming with them.

He had asked her, the second day after the fires he had found her in her room, searching through the papers another hunter had sent her. He could still remember every minute of it, his voice raw and shaky, Dean's injuries still serious though thankfully not life threatening. He felt like a little child all over again, the same small child that had needed her so much growing up, the same small child that had forgotten her. But she merely smiled at him, and told him that her place was here, and his was with his brother.

Kerri had always known that, while she was a true friend, she was never apart of their family. She had told Sam so often as a child that it was a privilege to be a Winchester, and while she loved his family dearly, she would never force herself upon them. And Sam couldn't help but be amazed. She had lost so much, suffered so much, but she still understood, still appreciated life, and everything that came with it, still cared for him and his brother as deeply as the day they left all those years ago.

"So." Sam began, clearing his throat before continuing. "Where's Kerri?"

Dean didn't look up, not right away. He knew what his brother meant, knew what he was asking. The older Winchester knew that they needed to talk, that he and his brother had so many fences to mend, so many obstacles to overcome, and he knew that Kerri wasn't there to be a buffer, not today. And while apart of him was happy about that, another part was down right terrified, because he had no idea what to say. They had almost died, all of them, and he couldn't help but feel guilty for it. After all, he didn't have to go to Stanford, didn't have to drag Sam away from his perfect life, just like he didn't have to go back to Valley after Sam had shown him the letter.

No, he didn't have to, but he still didn't think he would have been able to stop himself on either account. He needed them, so much more then they would ever know. He had lived so much of his life alone, kept so much to himself, that the idea of having someone around, someone to laugh with, someone beside him, was something he could never walk away from. He gravitated towards Sam and Kerri because he knew, deep down, that they were two people that would never leave him, not completely. Yes, Sam had gone to school, and yes, Kerri was engaged to be married. But, when all was said and done they had been the only two people in his entire life that had come back.

"She went into town." Dean answered, his voice also raspy and quiet, the smoke in the mines having done a number on all of them.

"What're you reading?" It was tentative, but Dean knew what he meant, knew what he needed, what Sam always needed, comfort.

"Nothing. It's a photo album."

"Oh."

"Man, you should see yourself, Sammy, you were a pudgy little guy." Dean didn't look up but he could almost feel Sam's smile, sense the tension dissipate in the heavy air around them, as his brother moved to sit beside him.

"It was baby fat, dude."

"You don't still have baby fat when you're eight."

"You can."

"You just keep telling yourself that."

"Yeah, well, at least I wasn't cross-eyed."

"That went away when I was seven!"

"Nah, still pops up now and again, usually when you look like you're trying to think."

"Whatever, dude." Dean laughed, turning the pages, the old photos of him and his brother smiling up as though from another time, another life.

"Hey, Dean." Sam began after a short silence, his brother still smiling down at the photos before him, the first real smile Sam had seen on the older man's face in a very long time. It was at that moment that the younger man realized just how old his brother looked, just what their lifestyle had done to him. But, for once, Sam didn't just see the hardship in his big brother's eyes, didn't just see the weight of the world on his shoulders. No, there was something else glinting in his green orbs, something that was unmistakably pride. He was the cornerstone of the Winchester family, the wall against which he and his father leaned, and, despite everything fate had placed in his path, Dean had managed to hold them all together, to make their family something special.

"Yeah?"

"Thanks."

"For what?" Dean looked up, confused. He didn't really think there was anything he deserved thanking for.

"For everything. I mean, without you, I don't think I would have made it this far."

"Don't be dramatic, Sam."

"I mean it. No matter what that woman said to you, I wouldn't want anyone else to be my big brother."

"Thanks, Sam." Dean looked long and hard at the man sitting beside him, taking in everything that was Sammy. From the moppy brown hair and puppy dog eyes, to his strong and capable soul, Dean studied it all, and smiled. Maybe he hadn't screwed up after all.

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By the time the second week rolled around Sam could see Dean getting antsy despite of himself. He knew that his brother wanted to stay, knew he wanted to spend time with Kerri, wanted to relax in the safe confines of the old house. But he also knew that his brother was a traveler, a wandering soul, and that was something that would never change. No matter how tired he was, no matter how much he wanted more for himself, there was just something about him that wouldn't let the older man stay still, wouldn't let him rest.

And so, sixteen days after leaving the mines Sam found himself standing by the impala, bags in the trunk, the open road laid out ahead. He wanted to stay, wanted to be normal, but he wanted to be with his brother more, and he was finally ok with that. He looked up to see Dean and Kerri coming down the basement stairs, three large bags in their arms, enough food, Sam thought, to feed an army. Or, in their case, two very hungry hunters.

He could see a sorrowful resolve in the young girl's eyes, see just what their return had done to her, had given her. Sam knew deep down that they may never see her again, that their lives were full of such uncertainty, such danger, that it made it impossible to think too far ahead. And, from the way she smiled, from the way she walked, he could tell that she knew that too.

"So." She began tentatively, placing the bags in the back seat of the impala. "See you again when you're forty?" She smiled weakly, and Sam swore he could see her heart breaking.

"No, we'll see you before that. I promise." Dean looked her deep in the eyes as he spoke, almost as though he were daring heaven or hell to try and prove him wrong. It was a mistake to let the last twelve years slip away, a mistake he was certain he would never make again.

"I'll hold you to that." She smiled before looking up at Sam.

"I'll never forget you again." Sam smiled as he leaned down, hugging Kerri. "At least I'll try not too." He added, a sudden wave of sadness taking over.

"You better not." Her voice too was soft and sad as she pulled away from him.

"Don't worry, I won't let him." Dean smiled and, much to Sam's surprise, pulled the young girl into a tight hug, holding on so strongly that Sam was wondering if he would ever let her go. "I'm sorry I wasn't here."

"You are now."

Dean squeezed her one more time before pulling away and clearing his throat. "Come on, Sammy, I feel a chick flick moment growing, we gotta go." He smiled again, pulling open the passenger side door as Sam climbed into the driver's seat. And, as the car sped down the road, dust flying up in it's tracks, both brothers stared almost transfixed at the side view mirrors, watching as Kerri disappeared into their past once more.