Hey my awesome readers! Thanks for sticking with me and this story. I appreciate and would love comments from you all. Nice to know that The O.C. hasn't died in the hearts of the loyal fans! I debated on whether to move over to another character storyline, but then I figured that it would be better to wait on that and instead give all my awesome readers what they've been begging for. Beware: I am not a writer who looks for the easy solutions, so don't expect a happy reunion. Coming up in the next few chapters: Caitlyn returns home with a taste for revenge lingering in her mouth, the Cohen's enjoy their breakfast show and tell, Julie's consumption attracts attention, Volchek scrambles for a new plan.
Chapter XX: What are you doing here? Pt. 1
There had to have been something in the water she had drunken earlier. It had to be…because she couldn't really be seeing what she thought she was, could she? Ryan…here…in Greece. And, it looked like he wasn't alone. Someone was walking towards the table…a woman…she looked a little like…Hailey? Marissa couldn't contain the look of sheer mystification on her face. What in the hell was going on here?
"Ma..Marissa…" he stuttered, knee slamming hard into the table as he hurriedly got to his feet. Why had she been calling him? Sheltering his soon-to-be bruised knee, he stood up. Out of all the times she could have picked to call him during these last few months…she picks now? And, if the look on her face was telling the truth…he could tell that she was not alone either. No, she was definitely here with someone. That would have to explain her frantically looking around for an unidentified person. Maybe she was here with…her…fiancé. Just even playing those words into his head forced him to re-ingest the bile that involuntarily rose to the back of his throat.
Taking in her appearance, Ryan's breath strained itself to exhale out. She still could literally take his breath away. It was her effortless style, wearing a tight black tank top with little mirrors all over it and a pair of white True Religion skinny jeans with a thin green belt, that really got to him. If it was even possible, she had grown sexier during her time away, gaining a little muscle in her upper body and letting her hair grow out. In this environment, it seemed like Marissa was truly able to be herself and not worry about what all her mother's Newpsie friends would say if she showed up somewhere without perfectly manicured fingernails. That laid-back imperfection really suited her.
He looked up to meet her questioning eyes, his sparkling brilliant blue eyes noticing the light that always seemed to come whenever she looked at him. That gave him a little bit of hope to see that she still seemed to respond to him. His glare seared her to the core, bombarding her with all of the pent-up uncertainty, fear, love, and relief she herself had felt during her realization that they were again in each other's presence.
Now, it was Marissa's turn to intake everything about the boy that had been the subject of so many of her thoughts over these past few months. He still looked pretty much the same, standing there somewhat awkwardly fiddling with the sleeves of his pullover black and white hooded sweatshirt. She generously allowed herself time to catalogue every inch of his body that she had sorely missed. He was shifting quite haphazardly from one foot to the other, and the cavernous circles under his eyes led her to believe that he hadn't been sleeping very well either. It brought a strange comfort to her to know that she was not the only one who suffered from a broken heart.
"Hey Marissa," Hailey interjected, hoping to break the thick tension that hung in the air like a heavy morning fog.
Marissa's eyes broke from Ryan's to take in Hailey's form. She looked like she was on vacation, donning a simple white ¾ length knit top and a long, yet almost sheer white and blue floral sarong with matching blue strappy sandals that wrapped up to her mid-calf. She looked absolutely beautiful, but rightfully pensive at the current situation. The look she was giving Ryan seemed to suggest an intimacy that immediately worried her. What were they doing here together? Could they be here tog…no, no way. That couldn't be it. Although, judging by the way events had already unfolded today, Marissa was not counting any options out.
"You're probably wondering what we're doing here together…in Greece. You look like you have a lot of questions. Would you like to sit and eat with us?"
Briefly remembering that someone was probably getting a little impatient with her disappearing act, she hesitated to oblige Hailey's request. But, soon enough, that thought was gone as his eyes once again invaded all her conscious thoughts, silently begging her to stay and hear him out. And, with that, her decision was made. Paolo could wait. She nodded, pulling out one of the open chairs next to Ryan. So many unspoken questions lingered in the air, not knowing who should start first. Ryan glanced desperately to Hailey, trying to convey that he was not at all prepared for this surprising twist of events. They had come here to map out what they were going to say when confronted…but, now, this was all happening too quickly. He tried breathing deeply…that had helped during the plane ride. But, there was no way that he could concentrate on anything other than his lost love looking so stunning tonight.
"Okay…so, I guess I should start first. So, I'm sure you remember Marissa, that I called your father a few weeks ago?" she signaled to Marissa, who nodded in accord at the memory, "Well, what I didn't tell you that morning was that I had been thinking about Jimmy so much in the past few months…wondering if I had made the biggest mistake of my life when I left for Japan. Honestly, the questions ate at me all the time. And, then, when I saw the missed call…I guess, a little flicker of hope shined."
Interested in hearing more, Marissa nodded her head. As she took in Hailey's words, she quickly dispelled any worries about Ryan and Hailey being here together romantically. She could observe the emotion pouring from Hailey's eyes as she went on to admit that she had followed her gut instinct and decided to come to Greece and find Jimmy in hopes that he was feeling the same loneliness without her as she was without him. A kindred sense of understanding overtook her as she realized that Hailey's situation was not too far removed from her own with Ryan. Ryan…she still didn't know what he was doing here.
"…and, so, I'm hoping for some kind of sign. And, then, as I'm getting off the plane, I run into someone…literally."
Ryan ducks his head down as he lets a small smile creep across his face. It was only a few hours ago that he was dreaming of this moment, and now it was coming to fruition. Right now, he was so happy to have Hailey here…explaining what he knew he couldn't. Silently thanking Hailey for inheriting Caleb's type A personality, Ryan focused again on Marissa…still not fully able to comprehend that she was actually here, and listening. What was she doing here? He had thought that she would be working, that she wouldn't have any time to see the local sites, that she definitely wouldn't have any time to talk to him. But, there must be a God, because right now, even though it wasn't in his desired time frame, he was getting his opportunity to set things straight.
At this moment, the waiter arrived with their food. Setting down two plates of authentic Greek fare, he quickly refilled their water glasses and insisted they enjoy their meals. When he noticed they had another occupant at the table, he offered to take her order. However, Marissa politely declined, assuring him that she was fine for now. It seemed that hunger was the last thing on these three people's minds right now. Well, maybe not Hailey, as she seemed very eager to dive into her plate, leaving Ryan and Marissa to fill in the pieces of the story she had left out.
"So…" Ryan muttered softly, hoping that Hailey would continue on with the story. But, realizing that Hailey's mouth was too busy enjoying all the culinary goodness that Athens had to offer, he knew this part was up to him. Turning to face his chair to her, he took another deep breath and slowly navigated himself through the speech that he had practiced countless times in his head, hoping to sound as natural as possible and to not leave anything out due to his increasing nervousness. "Look, I know that it's been a while since we last spoke," he began, "and, I really wanted to tell you how sorry I am for the way things went at the airport. I…I should have told you about Sadie…it's just, she never meant as much to me as you. No one could ever…"
Just as Ryan was about to divulge his inner feelings, he sensed another presence in the conversation, an unwelcome one. Looking over Marissa's right shoulder, he took in the sight of a young man eavesdropping on their exchange. He was looking right into Ryan's eyes, shooting knowing daggers of distrust and apprehension. Ryan subconsciously knew once he saw the look of possessiveness in this guy's eyes that he must be the dreaded fiancé, yet another man that was threatening to come between them. Marissa quickly sensed his presence and turned in her seat to confirm exactly what she was afraid would happen.
"Marissa, honey, I've been waiting for you for almost twenty minutes. I ordered for you, and it's getting cold. What's going on? Do you know these people?"
Marissa couldn't help but to feel a pang of guilt as she took in Paolo's worried expression. Truthfully, she had almost forgotten that he was still waiting for her once she saw Ryan. But, it now appeared that this momentous expunging that she and Ryan were yet again one step away from was going to have to be put on hold while she tended to this other issue. Rising from her seat, Marissa ushered Paolo away from the table, as Ryan and Hailey curiously kept quiet. As soon as they were out of sight, Marissa took Paolo by the hand, trying to form the words in her mind to make what she was about to say as painless and understood as possible.
"Paolo, I am so sorry for leaving you hanging like that. I would never do that on purpose, I hope you know."
Paolo nodded his head in reassurance, and she continued.
"The answer to your question is yes…I do know those people. They are here from California, and they were looking for me."
Paolo knew where this was heading; he knew that the man sitting in the chair had to be Ryan. Marissa only got the look of pained foreboding in her eyes whenever he was mentioned, and, judging by the hopefully still-secret conversation that he and Ryan had exchanged earlier that week, it looked like his next course of action needed to be well-choreographed in order to keep the two of them appearing as though they were an engaged couple.
"Oh, well that is quite the coincidence, isn't it darling? I would love to meet them and introduce myself to them. I'm sure you've mentioned the tall, dark, irresistible man that has had the pleasure of your company over the last months, haven't you?"
Marissa smiled shyly, trying to cover up the fact that she in fact hadn't told Hailey or Ryan about him. She didn't know of any other way to state the truth, so she decided that it would be best to just be as upfront as possible with him about it. He had to know how important Ryan was to her; she had spoken of him often enough. But, she knew that when he realized that his intentions for a romantic evening were no longer going to come to fruition, she wasn't sure how he would react. She prayed at that moment that he would not hate her for doing this.
"Listen, Paolo, I don't really know how to tell you this…but, the guy…the one sitting at the table…that's Ryan."
Paolo did his best to feign shock at this revelation, all the while formulating his next move. Once he assured himself that his decided next move was the most logical way to go, he sprung into action.
"Oh…and, he brought his new girlfriend here with him? What a bastard!"
"No…Paolo, that's no…" she tried to interject, but Paolo was determined to not allow the truth to cloud his plan.
"Oh, honey…say no more. Let me handle this," he continued, the encouragement hoping to convey a sense of strength that he would handle this potential threat to their perfect evening out, and that they could still continue on with aforementioned plans as scheduled. Grabbing her firmly by the wrist, he dragged her back to Ryan and Hailey's table, the fury building behind his eyes not going unnoticed by the two parties at the table.
"Look, RYAN," he emphasized, seeking to intimidate him, "I don't know what kind of manners they teach over there in America, but, here, in Greece, bringing your new girlfriend to flaunt around in front of your old girlfriend, who, by the way pined over you endlessly for months," Paolo exclaimed, inwardly patting himself on the back as he noticed the guilty look of resignation take over Ryan's face.
As other patrons began to take heed of the impending argument that was quickly brewing, Marissa acknowledged the need to hastily put an end to this misunderstanding.
"No, Paolo…let me fi,"
"No, Marissa…I won't have you sit here and be dragged into this unnecessary drama anymore! You are too good of a person and have spent too much effort trying to distance yourself from all of this to be brought back into this childishness for one more second!"
At this point, there was no denying that they had become the focus of the restaurant, with many patrons conspicuously putting their private conversations on hold to watch the drama unfold. Several of them flashed knowing glances at Marissa, seemingly comprehending what was happening despite the language barrier. However, Marissa did not share in their understanding, as the look of shock permeated across her face, and she was rendered momentarily speechless. What had gotten into the typically mild-mannered guy that had so many nights tried to justify Ryan's actions and defend him? Could he really just be trying to protect her from getting hurt? That thought further facilitated her silence, as she silently appreciated having someone stand up for her, even if his facts weren't entirely straight. At least he was showing that he could and would defend her if things turned badly.
Turning to gauge Ryan's reaction to this bizarre turn of events, she could barely attempt to brace herself for what she was sure was going to turn into a physical confrontation. By the look in Ryan's eyes, a look that she had become very familiar with over the years, she knew that she needed to get Paolo out of there before something more serious happened. And, as much as she needed answers from him right now, she couldn't risk either of them getting arrested, or hurt.
"Paolo...Paolo," she reiterated, grabbing him by the shoulder and forcing his heated gaze to return to her, "Will you please wait outside, just for a minute? I'll be right out."
Relief coursed through her body when Paolo's steely demeanor softened at her words. Wordlessly, he nodded his head, kissed her tentatively on the cheek, and left the restaurant, casting one last menacing look at Ryan on the way out. Marissa returned her attention to Ryan, whose stoic manner she knew was barely concealing a myriad of emotions behind it. Her eyes began to glaze as she realized that once again she and Ryan's attempt to come clean with each other and start anew had been thwarted. Were they ever going to get a break?
"Ryan, listen, I'm sorry for that. I apologize for his behavior. He was only trying to protect me."
Taking in a deep breath to hopefully quench his need for calming down, Ryan stared deeply into his love's eyes, praying that he didn't find love for this other man in them. Satisfied when she didn't back down from his intense staring session, he pulled his eye's away and quickly scanned the crowded restaurant that still seemed quite enthralled with this turn of events. Several customers uncomfortably turned their attentions back to their own table, while others unabashedly continued their focus on the outcome of their situation. Ryan decided that this would be better suited to a private audience, so he gestured for her to follow him towards the restroom area. She assented, nodding towards the correct location once she recognized that he didn't have any clue where he was leading them.
Once silently agreeing on a final landing spot, the staring contest resumed. Ryan was finding it more and more difficult to stay mad with her as he pored the depths of her ocean blue eyes, finding anticipated emotions, such as regret, frustration, and fear, looming not to far below the surface. But, what he hadn't predicted to discover were other emotions, like relief, anticipation, and love, radiating back at him. How could love still be shining through her eyes when Paolo was waiting just outside? Was she in love with both of them? How could she agree to marry someone else if she was still in love with him? He needed answers to these questions, sooner as opposed to later. And, he knew he wasn't going to get them unless he started asking.
"Riss, what's going on? I know that I have no right to come in here and expect that you have put your whole life on hold while I was back in the States. But, you're moving on….so soon. I mean, haven't you learned from your past mistakes?"
Marissa instinctually shook her head, hoping to negate this confusion before it had any more chance to manifest.
"No, Ryan…it's not like that. Paolo and I…we're just friends. I mean, well, tonight was actually supposed to be our first date…according to him. But, I just…I didn't have the heart to tell him that…I just don't see him like that. It's NOT like that…I swear. Look, I don't know what you have been doing since I left…except for obviously NOT calling me, but, I can promise you that I HAVE learned from my past mistakes, and that I am not rushing into anything or anybody else. All I have been doing is work, work, work….that's it."
Then, remembering that she had no need to justify herself to him anymore, especially not when he was evidently trying to bait her by suggesting she was still the "same ole fucked-up Marissa", she abandoned her defensive position and struck out on a offensive front.
"And, besides….even if I was, that still would be none of your business. You know, you're such a fucking hypocrite. You come in here acting all high and mighty, acting like I'm still that same girl that needed you to rescue her, without even taking a moment to call me and ask me. You know, if anyone here hasn't learned from their past mistakes, it's YOU. You come in here and start with the same, old broody Ryan who has to be restrained from getting into a fight with a COMPLETE STRANGER before you even know what's going on. How do you know that he wasn't a client…or a ship vendor. You didn't…you just assumed you knew what was up when you obviously didn't. Same old Ryan."
She furrowed her eyebrows in disdain as she took a minute to calm herself down. She knew this line of accusations was getting them nowhere, and they both had other people waiting on their return, so she decided to cut this short, for now, and continue this later, once they'd had some time to digest what had just happened and cool down a little. Too bad Ryan was just getting started.
"Oh, so what, you have changed. Obviously, since now you're resorting to outright lying to my face. You know, I did try to call you Riss," he admitted, noticing the surprise in her eyes as she took in this apparently new piece of information, "and, guess who answered?! YOUR FIANCE, PAOLO!"
The shock on her turned to utter confusion at the mention of Paolo again as her fiancé. There was no way that Paolo would answer her phone like that, was there? That wasn't the Paolo she knew. But, then again, she hadn't ever thought Oliver was the kind of guy who would obsessively stalk and repeatedly sabotage her relationship, but he was. Could it be that maybe she just wasn't that great of a judge of character?
"And then, he proceeded to inform me that he knew ALL about me. I'm sure he was there to wipe away your tears, huh? You didn't even give me a chance to explain before you booked it all the way across the country and found solace in the arms of yet another man. It's the same story over and over, Marissa, and I came here to keep you from making the biggest mistake of your life. Do you really think marrying him will help you to forget about us?"
That question hung in the air for what seemed like an eternity before Marissa finally found the voice to reply.
"Look, Ryan, I appreciate what you're trying to do…to make amends is something that we've both needed to do for a long time now. And, I want you to know that I do accept your apology for the whole Sadie thing. I know in my heart what we were to each other…what we maybe could be again for each other some time in the future. But, for you to come in here making these false accusations and confessing your undying love for me only when you thought I was getting married to someone else, which, by the way, I'm NOT, it only goes to show me that right now is not the right time for us. Maybe there will nev…"
She could not get the words to come out of her mouth, stumbling blindly through what she knew was the best solution for them both right now. But, then, if this was the way to go, why did she still feel so angry at him?
"Don't say it, Marissa. You never know. Please don't tell me that you're closing us off for good. Look, I'm sorry if I misunderstood. And, I know that doing this does kinda make me look a little stalkerish," he hollowly chuckled, "but, I didn't know what else to do. I couldn't let you take such a big step without being totally honest with you about how I felt….feel. I swear that I wasn't trying to be all white knight on you…well, maybe a little bit."
There was that shy, sheepish smile that drove her crazy again. Despite her still very-present anger, she couldn't help but be touched to see that he still cared for her. God, why did this have to be so hard? Why couldn't she just let him have it without feeling any guilt? She knew the reason without even having to think about it; she still loved him. That had to explain the reason her breath involuntarily hitched whenever he was within an arm's length, the reason her heart rate increased exponentially whenever his name was mentioned. She couldn't just dismiss him as if he meant nothing to her.
Taking a deep breath, she began, "Ryan, I still love you," she admitted, capturing his eyes in a tender gaze, "And, I promise you that when I'm ready…when I'm where I need to be with myself, that you'll be the first person to know. But…unt..until then, I can't keep doing this. You, you can't keep doing this. You need to live your own life…stop deferring Berkeley and tell Volchek…you know what? Let me handle Kevin."
Ryan involuntarily cringed when he heard her call him Kevin. He wondered how she knew, but then quickly realized that she did still have eyes and ears in Newport. Hell, for all he knew, she could still be in contact with Kev…Volchek herself. Shuddering at the thought, he swallowed, silently reassuring himself that Marissa would never do that to him. He was still reeling over the new information that Marissa wasn't engaged, and he fought over whether or not to press her on what she planned to do about Paolo's lie. But, understanding that any more pressure that he applied to her right now would undoubtedly have an adverse effect, he decided to let her handle that one alone. See, people really can change.
"So," he awkwardly began, "I guess this is it then. Look, I apologize for not calling you since you've been gone. I just…I didn't know if that's what you wanted or not. I wanted to give you your space. But then, then, I did call. And, I talked to Paolo. That's when he told me that you two were getting married. I just…I couldn't….I…"
Then, she saw something that she hadn't seen from Ryan in so long. Vulnerability. Fear. He was holding tears at bay, but it was obvious that the thought of losing her upset him. Thinking about what she would do if she were in his shoes, Marissa realized that she probably wouldn't have reacted much differently. This realization softened her approach to the situation.
"Hey, it's okay. To be honest, I probably would have done the same thing if I had been in your position. So, I guess I should say thanks…thanks for still caring enough."
Breathing a sigh of relief that he hadn't known that he had been holding in, her encouragement gave him the strength to voice the words that had long been lingering in his mind. He locked his eyes onto hers, boring to unimaginable depths with just one look. Man, there was no way he was ever going to fully get over her. But, he couldn't keep doing this. It was having an adverse effect on their already tense relationship, and that was the last thing that he wanted. He swiped a hand across his sweat-stained brow, hoping to mask the nervousness that had onset with the thought of what he was about to say.
"You're right. I am sorry for barging in on your life like this. I will catch the next flight home. I never…this isn't the way that I thought this was going to go."
"Is it ever?" she posited, raising her eyebrow to signal to him that fate has never seemed destined to be on their side. "But, you know what? That doesn't matter now. You're here, and believe it or not, I am happy to see you. So, before you go…at least come see the ship. I would really like that."
Ryan felt the familiar sensation that constricted his chest whenever Marissa smiled. He swore to himself right then and there that he could live off of nothing but those smiles as long as he lived. And, that if he had to, he would give her as much time as she needed to learn how to smile again. Now that he knew Paolo was not in the picture and that she did still want to be with him, he could wait another ten years on that alone. He could and would wait for her forever.
"Plus, I'm pretty sure that my dad will be pleasantly surprised to see Hailey," she added, grabbing him by the arm and leading the two of them back to the table, where Hailey was finishing the last of her meal.
"Man, I didn't realize I was that hungry. Must be the lack of anything without soy sauce for the last few months. So…." She glanced back and forth from the two, who seemed to be a little more relaxed after that heated exchange. "Wanna get some to-go boxes and get outta here?" she posited to both of them, receiving nods from both parties in return.
"I probably should go deal with Paolo," Marissa suggested, pointedly directing this half-statement, half-question at Ryan to gauge his reaction. The last thing she wanted to do right now was to deal with another argument, but she knew that if what Ryan was saying was true, then she was going to have to confront Paolo sooner rather than later.
TBC….