Full Metal Alchemist, a Crack story
Author's note: Basically how it sounds. Any additional notes shall be posted à la fin de l'histoire. 1.
Also, I don't own Full Metal Alchemist, you'll have to trust me on this. Same goes with Final Fantasy... Pokémon too for that matter...
Once, upon a midnight dreary as Ed pondered weak and weary, Roy burst in randomly to say: "THE POTATOS HAVE ESCAPED!!!"
"What are you talking about?!? IT'S MIDNIGHT!" A tired Edward screamed at his superior.
"Well I just thought you 'aught to know, but if you don't care I shall take this moment to test your fighting abilities." The flame alchemist sprang forward.
-Commence Final Fantasy Battle Music-
"ATTACK ALCHEMY FIRAGA!"
"Well, if you shout it out like that, I know exactly what you are going to do and- wait, I can't move!"
It was true, due to the crappy imported turn-based system, Ed could not defend him self or even move for that matter. The fire hit him, but luckily he only lost 54 hit points. 2.
"Now its my turn! ATTACK SUMMON PALM TREE!"
"Charmed." The palm tree stated with a corny British accent.
Now, quite contrary to popular belief, the real Envy crawled in through the window and smacked his look-a-like.
-End of Battle Scene-
"So pip-squeak, if you ever want to see your tooth brush again, join the Exeggutor fanclub TODAY! Join now and receive a free t-shirt and a new towel dispenser!"
Ed stared in amazement of the stupidity of
Envy's last statement, before
realizing-
"WHO-ARE-YOU-CALLING-SO-SMALL-THAT-HE-DOESN'T-EVEN-REALIZE-HIS-TOOTH-BRUSH-IS-MISSING?!?"
"Um, you?" Envy smirked.
"What kind of lame threat is that anyways?" Ed fumed.
"Do you REALLY want all of your fan girls to know that you use a Fluffy the Bunny tooth brush? It just gives them another reason to glomp you."
With that, Ed wore his exeggutor baseball cap to central, until Fluffy was safe.
Okaaaay, so that didn't turn out as well as I planned it would. I was bored, what can I say? This is my first published fanfiction, I will write more too when I have the time.
Sometimes, I just randomly blurt out foreign languages, usually French, although you may see Japanese and even Korean too.
The odds are the fire would miss due to Edward's shortness.
Please review! Constructive criticism greatly appreciated; remember though, it is supposed to be crack.
Thank you for reading!