One Day by the River

Yes, another chronologically inaccurate Baby Nin story by KalliopeStarmist (I'm having writers block, ok?)

"Oh, look at him, isn't he adorable, Sherry? Is he your little brother? Daw, his little swim trunks are so CUTE!"

Uchiha Itachi, age 11, has recently learned a valuable lesson. His little brother, Sasuke, is a babe magnet. Now, most older brothers might be a tad bit jealous that their six-year-old brother is more popular with the ladies than they are, have been, or ever will be, but not Itachi. No, Itachi is an intelligent young lad, and he has used his new knowledge to his advantage. For example, he has dramatically upped the amount of Quality Time he and Sasuke spend in public places. Say, down by the river, Konoha's ever-popular swimming hole.

Being fawned over as the caring older brother of an adorable child by bikini-clad girls is pretty high on Itachi's list of priorities, but it is not at the very top. Second and First place on that list goes to (respectively) hanging out with his friends and playing mind games with small children. He's an Older Sibling's Older Sibling, that Uchiha Itachi.

Leaving Sasuke to the mercy of the Isn't-Our-Classmate-Itachi-a-Great-Guy-Look-At-His-Little-Brother Fanclub, our entrepreneuring hero joins his friends, who have asked to be identified only as Mike, Rob, and Tim. (Can you blame them? Would YOU want to be remembered as one of those kids who was friends with Uchiha Itachi, back in the day?)

In another corner of the old swimming hole, Hyuuga Hinata, age 6, is desperately trying to memorize a list of every living relative she has. Her father promised her fifty bucks if she could. What a (rich) six-year-old is going to do with fifty of the best, she isn't sure, but perhaps some deep-seated instinct is warning her that in a few years her baby sister is going to become the favorite, and she had better start saving up her capital now, while she's ahead.

"The Uchihas declared themselves a separate clan three centuries ago? Four centuries ago? Wait, I'll get back to that, ok, there are currently four people in the Main House, Uh... Fugaki-sama? No... Wait, there's Sasuke-kun, his older brother, Itachi-san, and they're my... seventh cousins? No, that can't be right. Oh, I have no idea! Maybe I should ask Sasuke-kun..."

"Ask him what? Do you have a crush on him, too, Hinata-chan?" Yamanaka Ino and Haruno Sakura have a very unique ability. They can hear the word "Sasuke" over half a mile away.

"N-no, I just-,"

"Daw, it's ok! You can tell us!"

"No, I- it's just, he's one of my cousins, and I had a question for him."

Sakura and Ino's eyes light up. They had been expecting to initiate Hinata into their group, but an even better idea has just occurred to them.

"Itachi, company," Rob points at the little girl lurking on the outskirts of their group.

"One of the Sasuke-kun Fanclub, no doubt," Mike adds. "Your little brother is a playah."

"No, he's not. He's too clueless to be a playah. The girls in his class are just completely- Hi, Hinata-chan!"

For Hinata has finally worked up the courage to approach her something-th cousin with Ino and Sakura's question. "H-hi-,"

Itachi is surprised at first. He never thought of Hinata as the type to fall for Sasuke, if only because she always seems to have some common sense to him, but then he hears one of the bushes giggling, and he figures it out.

"I- I'm sorry to bother you. Um-,"

"You want to know about Sasuke-kun, right? Do you want me to let him know you like him?"

Hinata turns red. "No! I - it's not-,"

Itachi kneels down to be eye level with her and winks, nodding over at the bushes. Seeing that he understands her predicament, Hinata relaxes a little. "I'll give you a tip," he says loudly. "If you really want to catch his attention, try growing your hair out. Sasuke's got a thing for long hair." He lowers his voice a little as the shrubbery shakes in the background. "Is that enough to make them leave you alone?"

Hinata nods gratefully and skips off to get back to her family tree, and Itachi returns to his friends.

"Does he really?" Tim asks.

"Does who really what?"

"Does Sasuke really have a thing for long hair?"

"How the hell should I know? I just like having control over the fashion styles of an entire age group." Itachi's eyes glow eerily, "Power..."

"You know, Itachi, sometimes we worry about you."

A/N: Little did Itachi know that he had started off a chain of events that would culminate with one of the funniest fights in Chunin Exam history.

You do have to wonder how that rumor got started, though.