Title: Crumpled Up Promises
Authors: Sara and Lizzie
Rating: T for language, sex, you know.
Disclaimer: We happen to own our personal anatomies, not Grey's. Or Patrick Dempsey's. Sadly.
Summary: An alternate take on the Code Black incident. Meredith is seriously hurt by the explosion, and Derek has to make his choice all over again.
Author's Note: We are differing from the plot lines, and dialogue in the show. We've added much and changed a lot but you will recognize the occasional line or two that we kept.
We hope you like this. It took a long time to do this chapter justice, but as we re read the story, we realized it's kind of good. And we like it. So we wanted to make it good before we turn to shameless fluff. REVIEW.
You were the song all along, and before the song dies,
I should tell you, I have always loved you.
-Rent
Derek was still reeling from the audacity of Addison when he felt a hand on his shoulder. "Burke." He said, turning around to face his colleague.
"Shep…" Burke started.
Derek looked at him strangely. "Shep?" he echoed. "Yesterday you couldn't call me by my first name, now we're on nicknames?"
He waited for Burke to respond. He needed something, anything, to keep his mind off of the fact that Meredith might be gone forever. He noticed, for the first time, Burke's face.
"What is it?"
"Derek, there's a severe infection attacking her system. We've moved her from recovery to ICU, and started antibiotics, but she might not…." Burke broke off. "It doesn't look good."
Derek turned on his heel and started running. His legs pounded on the tile floor, and he didn't slow down at all until he reached ICU. Once again, he sat next to her bed. He grasped her closest hand in two of his.
It was funny. Derek Shepherd was a doctor. He believed in science. His convictions and ideologies were not to Gods or churches, but to scalpels and brain spheres. But now, he was praying. He bowed his head over than hand that clutched one of Meredith's and prayed.
He didn't know what exactly was up in the Heavens, but he was begging it to save her. The sheer pain of seeing her lying there brought fresh tears to his eyes. So Derek Shepherd did the only thing he could think to do. He sat, held her hand and prayed.
It was a sign of sorts, what love will do to you. If you had told him, a year ago, maybe two, that he would be here today, completely consumed by love for this intern, he would have laughed at you.
He never would have believed that this woman could have him praying to a God he wasn't sure he believed in, ready to sacrifice anything for her to be okay.
Somewhere, wherever somewhere was, Meredith Grey saw blackness. She didn't know what was happening to her or why, all she remembered was the blast of the bomb. But she felt something that she hadn't felt yesterday or even this morning.
Meredith Grey was unconscious, hovering near death, some would say. But there was a part of her hanging on, not because of medicine, but because she felt something. She felt something with her right now. It was black. There was no tunnel, no bright light, just a small flicker somewhere in the oblivion she faced.
But she wasn't moving toward it.
Addison sat in the trailer, not having to question where Derek was. He was, without a doubt, glued to the chair next to Meredith's bed. Addison sighed, and opened the box se had pulled from under her bed.
She looked at the photos of herself, in that sparkling white dress. Her eyes were shining, her smile was huge. And Derek, in the crisp Tom Ford for Gucci tux she'd picked for him. He was wearing a grin that matched hers as they fed each other cake.
She worked her way through the wedding photos and didn't realize that there were tears sliding down her face. At the hospital, when the numbing shock of everything that happened clouded her, she had felt noble. Now she felt foolish. This was her marriage for Christ's sakes. Could she really just throw it all away?
It occurred to her that it might not be her choice, but she was once again overcome with the fight for it feeling. She couldn't just stay her. Who cared if it wasn't her choice? She had to at least give it one last try.
Derek was filling up what felt like a hundredth cup of coffee when Cristina cleared her throat behind him. "Dr. Shepherd." She said. "Addi- Dr. Shepherd is here. She's looking for you."
She gave him a look that said plainly, don't you dare. He nodded. "Page me if anything changes." He told her and went to the nurses' station, and was about to ask Tyler to page his wife, but found himself staring at her.
"I need to talk to you." She said, pulling him into an empty on call room. She sat him down, and looked at him, thrusting several of the photos she found into his hands. "Look, Derek." She murmured. "Look how happy we were." She clutched his wrist. "I thought I could I just give you up, but I can't."
She looked at him. "This feeling you have for her? It will pass. Come back to New York with me. Let's really start over." As soon as the words left her mouth, she knew she shouldn't have said them. She lost him a long time ago.
To the only woman who had made him cry. To the woman who quite literally, brought him to his knees. She couldn't compete with Meredith. Derek struggled for words to say, but his pager beeped, saving him. He got up, wordlessly and ran.
The interns were outside of Meredith's room when he got there. Cristina leaned against the wall right next to the door. Izzie cried silent tears onto Alex's shoulder and for a moment, Derek thought the worst, but he heard George's voice coming from the room.
"I'm gonna send Mc- Derek in now, okay?" he appeared in the doorway and looked at Derek. "If you're not ready to sign, don't go through that door." George said, stepping aside. And it was without a moment's doubt or hesitation that Derek crossed the threshold.
Her eyes focused on him, and the corners of her mouth tugged upwards in a smile. "Hi."
"Hi." He said, smiling down at her.
"So thanks you know." She said, her eyes never leaving his. "For the life saving surgery, and giving me a large bruise on my chest."
"Hey!" Derek protested with laughter in his tone. "That large chest bruise saved your life."
"But it's not going to help me attract the sexy, unmarried bachelors."
"Do you want to attract them?"
"Do I need to?" She was surprised herself by the blunt, brazen tone in her own voice. He looked uncomfortable, and she swallowed hard.
"Is this a conversation we really need to be having with you ten minutes out of a coma?"
"Derek, I need to know now. Whatever it is."
He sighed. "She wants me to go back with her. To New York." Derek said, sitting down on her bed. Meredith opened her mouth, scared now. Desperate. Ready to say anything to get him to stay, but he placed a gentle fingers to her lips, silencing her.
"Addison is New York City. She's Prada and Gucci, and an enormous brownstone. She's the Hamptons, and polo matches, and Nic and Toni's, and late night dinners at Pastis. She's brunch at the Gramercy Tavern and the New York ballet. She is clear sunny days, because the rain messes up her hair.
He was quiet for awhile. "And you," he said, pushing hair off of her face. "You're Seattle. You're sweaters and Dartmouth shirts. You're a house full of interns. You're the harbor and ferryboats and Joe's and coffee and tequila and on call rooms, and you look so beautiful when it rains."
Meredith looked him in the eyes sadly. "So it's New York or Seattle?"
He averted his eyes, fiddled with her sheets. He was uncomfortable and knowing why brought tears to her eyes. "You're a New Yorker." She quoted him. "Genetically engineered to hate anywhere but Manhattan."
"I thought I was." He said taking her hand. "But then I met you, and now I've got this thing for ferryboats."
"But are ferryboats enough?" she asked. "Because there's a lot of… baggage in Seattle. It might not be easy just to hop back on the ferryboat."
"I don't mind baggage. Or long lines. I just know that I've given my heart away. To the ferryboats. And I'm not going to get it back. New York has too many snobs, and too many taxis. I've decided I'm ready to end things. With the taxis."
Meredith bit her lip and smiled. "So when you end things, with the taxis of course, you'll actually be a sexy, unmarried bachelor."
Derek nodded. "That's very, very true, Dr. Grey."
"And you wouldn't mind a bruise on my chest?"
"Not at all." He said, leaning down and pressing a kiss to her lips. "You're beautiful. Even bruised." She smiled, and closed her eyes, feeling tears coming to them. This was happening. This was all really happening.
And when he said she was beautiful, even bruised, she knew he meant it in the larger sense.
Forever And A Day. One Hell Of A Racket. Keeping The Faith. The Best Laid Plans. A Tale Of Two Cities.
Check them out.