Yeah, I fiddled with chapter 5 a little. Nothing changed in the story, just a little added because Carson was way too complacent about the whole John's heart stopped thing!
And now on with the story...
It took awhile, because Beckett insisted on setting up some strange ass machine over John's bed. He said that John's heart had stopped before and the machine would monitor it and warn them if there was any problems. It was something John had never seen before, but that didn't mean anything, because they were discovering new things everyday. John could just feel it looming over his head though.
By the time Beckett's newest machine was in place, there were people crowded all around his bed. Rodney had claimed the chair at John's bedside, his laptop open and sitting on the bed next to John himself. Radek stood behind Rodney, peering over his shoulder at the computer screen. Ronon leaned against the wall, arms crossed. He gave off an air of casual indifference, but John knew better, he could see the lines of tension in Ronon's body. Teyla sat on the empty bed next to him, cross-legged and serene. Elizabeth stood stiffly next to John's bed, clearly uncomfortable. She never did deal with the whole bedside thing well.
John was surprised when Lorne appeared. He stood at parade rest at the foot of his bed. His back was stiff and uncomfortable looking and he wouldn't meet his CO's eyes. He was sporting a spectacular black eye and a split lip. John couldn't wait to get him alone and find out what had happened. He hoped the other guy looked worse. Knowing Lorne, John was pretty sure he did.
Beckett hovered over everything. He cast a disapproving eye over the group that had invaded his infirmary, but he stayed quiet.
John cleared his throat, uncomfortable at being the center of everyone's attention.
"Colonel," Elizabeth spoke, "how are you?"
"I'm fine, Elizabeth," he answered, trying not to sound as miserable as he felt.
Rodney snorted, looking up from his computer to take in John's bruised and battered body. "Oh, yes, we can see that, colonel."
"Rodney," Elizabeth cast her disapproving glare in Rodney's direction. "John, we'll try to make this as quick as possible, I know you must be tired. But we really need to know what's going on. We don't want to think that you might be a danger to yourself or the rest of us..."
"Geeze, Elizabeth," Rodney exploded outraged for John, "you can't really think…"
John stopped him with an upraised hand, "No, Rodney, it's okay. I know what it looks like." He brushed his fingers across the line of stitches. "I didn't do this, Elizabeth."
"Well, then, what…" she started again.
"It was Teer," Rodney answered for him. Which on one hand was okay because John had been dreading saying it out loud in front of everyone. But on the other hand kind of sucked because he didn't need Rodney McKay to fight his battles for him.
"Teer?" Elizabeth looked confused, her gaze going from John to Rodney and back again. "The young woman from the sanctuary. Didn't she ascend?"
"Yes, she did," John answered quickly before Rodney could give his oh, so colorful version of the story. "But it seems she has… issues with me."
"Issues?" Elizabeth regarded him with a blank look. She just wasn't getting it. God, she was going to make him say it.
Rodney cut in again, "Look, let's just say she's not ready to let the colonel go yet and leave it at that." This time John was just as glad to let him field the matter.
John kept his eyes on the ceiling while Elizabeth thought it over. He had liked Teer he really had. He had imagined he could almost be happy there in the sanctuary with her if he was never able to make it home. But it wouldn't have been his choice. She was too set on ascending instead of living her life. John wanted to do and experience and Teer just wanted to… meditate.
"Alright, so Teer is somehow responsible for this?" Elizabeth asked at last. She waved her hand to indicate John's current condition.
It galled him, it really did, to have to admit to the fact but, "Yes," John said slowly, "she… appeared to me while I was shaving and she seemed pretty pissed that I chose to come back to Atlantis instead of ascending with her. It seemed like she was trying to… force the issue."
"But how can this be?" Teyla asked, her forehead furrowed in thought. "Are not the Ancients supposed to work for good?"
Rodney shook his head, "I've been thinking about this. Remember when I said it was a matter of evolution? Back on the planet."
Teyla nodded affirmation.
"Well evolution doesn't care if you're good or bad, it just happens to everyone who reaches that point in their evolutionary journey." Rodney continued, warming to his subject. His hands moved to punctuate his words. It was almost hypnotic to watch. "We've got the Ancients here in the Pegasus Galaxy, who are not the all-wise, all-caring folk they're cracked up to be." They had all seen too much of some of the things the Ancients had done to believe in that fallacy any more. John had met some of them on the Aurora and knew that some of them had indeed been good, caring people, but there were some seriously messed up ones, too. "In this galaxy we have the Ancients, who you might say are the good end of the scale. In the Milky Way, they have the Ori, which is the other, evil end. I think Teer fits in at that end somewhere."
"But what about the others of her kind?" Carson asked. "Isn't there some sort of rule about her not being able to interfere or something of that sort?"
"The Ancients seem to be flexible with their rules," Rodney's disdain was evident in his voice. "I mean Teer almost killed John twice now and they didn't do anything about it."
"Almost is the important word there, Rodney," Elizabeth said slowly. It was evident that she had a theory forming.
"Elizabeth?" John leaned forward, anxiously waiting to hear what she said.
"I don't think she can kill you, John. At least outright."
Rodney snapped his fingers, catching up with her, "Yes, yes, I see what you're saying. As long as she takes it so far and no further, then maybe the Ascended police or whatever don't know or won't stop her or something."
"So, she's allowed to torture me, but as long as she doesn't kill me, it's alright?" John's voice cracked in disbelief.
"Now we didn't say it was alright," Rodney snapped. "Just that maybe they didn't notice."
"Is there anything we can do to stop her?" Lorne put in. "At the moment she seems to be able to come and go as she pleases. And pretty soon, the colonel's going to end up dead." He winced and suddenly John really wanted to know how his second in command came by his bruises.
Zelenka whispered something in Czech and leaned over Rodney's shoulder to pull up something on the computer.
"Yes," Rodney nodded when he saw what Zelenka had in mind. "That might work."
"What?" Several voices asked in chorus.
"That device the Ancients used to trap the Energy sucking creature…" Rodney trailed off, typing furiously.
Without missing a beat, Zelenka took over the explanation. "We might be able to modify device so we can trap evil ascended woman and keep her from hurting colonel again…"
"Might?" John asked, trying to see what they were doing.
"Yes," Rodney took up the thread again, "We could use a small room or something and if we could lure her in there, then perhaps we could trap her like the ancients did the energy sucking creature."
"And what would we use to lure her into this room?" John asked even though he already knew the answer.
Every eye in the room turned to look at him. He squirmed and tried to sit up straighter.
There was the sound of laughter, incongruous to his ears and then Teer appeared, standing next to Elizabeth.
"Oh, John," she said. "These are the friends that you chose instead of me. They're willing to use you as bait."
Before John could answer, Zelenka shouted, "Now, Rodney, now."
Rodney answered "I know," as he continued madly typing.
The machine over John's head began to glow blue and he felt a crackling in the air. Teer bent and folded into two, for a split second it seemed that she was going to be sucked into the machine.
"Yes," McKay said under his breath.
Then all hell broke loose around John.
The machine's glow faded. With a wrench and a metallic protest, it broke free of its mooring and sailed across the room to crash in a smoking heap. The lights in the infirmary dimmed and brightened and then dimmed again. Emergency lights kicked in, bathing them all in a red cast. A wind whipped around the room, strong enough to pick up anything not secured. John brought up his hand to protect his face.
"An excellent attempt, Dr. McKay," Teer's anger was palpable. Energy crackled throughout the room. "You were very nearly successful."
"Oh, that was only my first attempt," Rodney spat out. He stood in proud defiance of the ascended woman.
"Your first and only," Teer screamed.
The scream picked up and echoed weirdly through the room. There was a crash and a flicker in the air that John recognized just as claws came out of nowhere. He rolled in the bed, taking McKay's computer with him. Where he had been in the bed, the sheets were slashed.
"Oh, hell no," he muttered as he untangled himself from sheets and IV lines.
Lorne moved to stand in front of Elizabeth. Dex and Teyla hurried to defend John and the scientists.
John made it to his feet, "Teer, this is between you and me, leave my friends alone," he had to shout to make himself heard.
"You had your chance, John."
Beckett stood bewildered in the middle of the room. The creature flickered in their vision once more and lashed out with a claw. Beckett fell with bloody claw marks across his chest.
With a roar, Dex charged the creature, Teyla at his back. It was too fast. With a sweep of its massive paws, it picked up Dex and threw him into Teyla. Together they crashed into the wall. Teyla went down and didn't move again, but Dex was back up, moving to stand with Lorne at Elizabeth's side.
John watched in horror as the creature mowed through them. Soon, all three were down, their flesh in ribbons.
Somehow, through the cacophony of sound that assaulted them, John could still hear Teer clearly, "How does it feel John? To watch everyone you love leaving you?"
John ignored her as he gestured for Rodney and Zelenka to head for the door. He had to get them out. It was up to him to keep them safe. He could do nothing for the others, but he had to try and do something for these two and Atlantis.
They only made it a few steps before the creature was on them. John felt himself picked up and thrown through the air. He landed on something hard and metallic. He felt the air pushed from his lungs, he felt bones give and break. He held on through the bright, hot flash of pain when he felt the creature's claws rake across his back. He had to protect his friends, it was his only thought. He managed to lift his head from the floor. He stared in horror when he found Rodney lying next to him, his face waxen and eyes staring forward, seeing nothing. There was a thin line of blood that ran from his mouth.
"No," John screamed. All he could hear was Teer laughing as the creature continued wreaking havoc through Atlantis.
He was sitting at the table where they took their mid-day meal in the compound. All the residents were there except Hedda, the chair at his side where the little girl had always sat was empty. Across from him, sitting in Teer's place, was a lovely young woman. She smiled at John. Her eyes danced with a mischievous sparkle and brown curls framed her face.
"Hedda?" he asked after a moment's hesitation.
"John, it is so good to see you again," she smiled her pleasure at him.
"Am I dead?" He looked for his friends, wondering if they had all ascended together.
"No, John," Hedda shook her head and her curls bounced. "This is just the space between."
"Between?"
"Between the moments, John, we needed to speak to you. To apologize," Hedda's eyes turned sad and sparkled with unshed tears.
John was on the floor in the infirmary, the dead lay around him. An alarm was sounding and John knew... He knew that Atlantis was dying, too. John felt the numbness spreading through him. He had failed everyone he had ever cared about. He didn't care what happened to him.
"Where are my friends, Hedda? Teer, she…"
"John," Hedda reached out and took his hand gently, "We know, and we are so sorry. We did not know what Teer was doing. You must believe us. She was greatly damaged and none of us knew."
John swallowed, trying to forced down the lump in his throat so that he could speak. "Damaged? She was fucking insane."
Hedda didn't take offense at his words, she spoke gently, "It hurt her greatly when our parents ascended leaving her here to care for us. She felt alone and abandoned. The thought of you was all that sustained her through the years. The thought that you would love her and ascend with her, that you would both spend all of your years together."
"Hedda, I never meant for her to think…"
"John, it is not your fault. None of this. We should have seen it and helped her right away, but she kept it hidden from us. We did not know until she released the beast in Atlantis. It is connected to all of us. Then we knew. But we could not get there in time to prevent what happened. We are so sorry," the tears slid down Hedda's cheeks.
He pushed himself to his hands and knees and moved to Rodney. He felt carefully for a pulse, knowing what he would find, but having to do it anyway. He had to be sure.
John wanted to scream, to throw things instead of sitting, calmly talking to Hedda about things he could do nothing about. "Sorry doesn't help me, Hedda. My friends are… dead, don't you understand that." He laughed, a little hysterically, but he didn't really care. "You've never really lived Hedda, you've never cared for anyone or anything. How can you know what it feels like to know that everyone you've ever cared about, you've ever loved were dead?' John knew he was being unfair, but he didn't care anymore. He wanted someone else to hurt as bad as he did. It was unfair that all of his friends had to die before he realized just how much he cared for them, how they had come to mean more than family to him. He would have given his life for them, but now it was too late.
"You misunderstand us, John," Arvid put a hand on John's arm, maybe to calm him, John didn't know. He knocked the gentle touch away.
John managed to push himself up until he was sitting. Teer and her beast were gone, but they had left bloody destruction in their path. He was surrounded by the dead bodies of his friends and Atlantis herself wasn't far behind. He let himself fall back to the floor, laying next to Rodney. He put a hand on his friend's shoulder.
"Don't touch me. You people have destroyed everything I cared about. You have the power of the universe at your fingertips, but you can't do a damn thing because of your rules."
"You are wrong, John," Hedda stood. "That is why we are here. It is true that normally we would not be able to do anything. We can not interfere with the natural progression of life. But this is not natural. Teer interfered with the natural progression of your life and we have been charged with returning everything to the way it was."
John sat, listening to Teer's words. He didn't quite understanding what she was saying, but feeling the hope flood through him all the same.
Around him, the others stood and they joined hands. Hedda smiled at him warmly and he could see once again the child that he had known, "You will not see us again, John, but know that we only wish you well."
There was a flash of blinding light. John was nowhere and everywhere. He was sitting at that table in the compound in the sanctuary. He was on the floor in the infirmary, his life's blood pooling around him.…
Then John was standing at the sink in his quarters, steam billowing around him, the razor at his throat. It was so abrupt that he flinched and cut himself, a bright red drop of blood welling up.
"Shit," he muttered, his hands shaking. He dropped the razor into the sink and backed away a step. He stared into the mirror and was astonished to see himself as he had been hours before, half shaved, but alive. Hurriedly he pressed a bit of kleenex to the small cut. He rummaged through his kit and found another razor, one not quite so lethal as the other. He finished quickly, not even daring to hope that this was real, that everything was back to the way it had been.
He didn't pause to shower or change, he charged out of his room to find Rodney sitting on his couch, feet up on the little table, sorting through John's movies with a critical eye. He looked over his shoulder at John when he heard the door open.
"I can not believe that you have all three 'Back to the Future' movies…" he stopped as John moved past him to pick up his radio.
John inserted it into his ear and tapped it. "Elizabeth?"
"John?" her voice came through loud and clear and alive. "Is there something you need?"
Hedda and the rest of the ascended ones really had fixed it. John let the realization spread through him, He was home and everything was alright.
"No, uhm, Elizabeth. I had.. a question, but I figured it out. Thanks."
"You're welcome," he could hear the curiosity in her voice. "Let me know if you need anything."
"I will." John sat, relief making him weak.
"Are you alright?" Rodney was there at his side, peering down at him in concern.
John grinned up at him. "Oh, yeah," he said. "Everything's fine."
And it was.
John Sheppard, the man who had never needed anyone, never wanted to need anyone had found a home when he least expected it. It had only taken coming to another galaxy to find it. He looked around dazed at his room, he was back on Atlantis with his home and family. That was the epiphany John Sheppard had had in the sanctuary. It was true that he would give up his life for any of them if necessary. But he'd rather live his life with them.
He flashed a smile at Rodney. "So, we going to watch the 'Back to the Future' movies?" he asked just to wind Rodney up.
"I can't believe you like those movies," Rodney complained even as he set up the computer and put the first disk in.
"What's not to like?" John moved to sit on the couch, feet up, making himself comfortable. "There's a fast car, cool adventures and good friends. What else do you need?"
Rodney looked askance at him, eyes narrowed. Yeah, McKay probably knew something was up, and he'd probably manage to get it out of John someday. But not today. Today they had a movie to watch and a life to live.
A/N: Thanks to my beta, chocolatephysicist. My story is much better because of her eagle eye!! Any mistakes remaining are my own. Some of the credit for this story also goes to her. We spent an entire day discussing the creepier aspects of the episode 'Epiphany.' This story was born on that day.
This was so much fun! Thanks to everyone who reviewed and everyone who read!!
Now, there are some seriously cool Halloween stories. I'm going to go read them all! Of course, I will also be sleeping with the lights on for the next few nights ;-)