LET A MAN SLEEP
By LOVESRICKMAN
Disclaimer: Everything belongs to JKR with the exception of my wicked desire to torment Severus a bit! Cheers to Aeryun for the beta!
Severus Snape groaned as he was dragged most unwillingly from the depths of slumber. He squinted at the light so rudely shining through the gaps in the curtains and sleepily grabbed his wand from the bedside table. A flick of the wand had the curtains firmly closed. A second flick had a darkening charm placed over the window. There. That should do it. He nuzzled the pillow beneath him contentedly and dozed back off.
Boom! Bam! Bam! Bam! Bam! Severus' head popped off the pillow and he looked around him in alarm. Sweet Merlin! What was that unholy racket? It sounded like a herd of elephants were stampeding down the stairs after being terrorized by an explosion! Listening carefully, wand at the ready to repel said elephants, he heard laughter. No. It wasn't elephants after all. Worse. It was a pair of teenage boys. Snape dragged himself out of bed and staggered over to the door. Coming down the flight that led past his room was Ron " Pain In The Arse " Weasley and Harry " Even Bigger Pain In The Arse " Potter. The boys glanced up and spotted their Potions Master. They paused in horror. Snape was standing there looking like the Wrath Of Merlin. Hair standing on end, unshaven, scowling worse than usual and a look that said "You are going to DIE!" in the blacker than black eyes that were currently sporting most unflattering circles beneath them.
"Imbeciles! Must you wake the very dead? Be quiet or be made to be quiet!"
"Um…yes Professor Snape!" came the stammering reply from Ron.
"Yes Sir, we are sorry we woke you. We will be much more quiet now!" added Harry. They had never seen the Potions Master look quite that hideous before and they really wanted to get away while they were still breathing!
"See that you mind your words and BE QUIET!" Snarled Severus as he slammed the door shut and dragged his weary body back to the bed. What on earth had made him listen to Molly last night when she encouraged him to stay in his regular room when the Order meeting ran so late? He gave a baleful smile as he heard Molly light into the noisy little bastards. Hopefully, they would be more respectful of others sleeping in the future.
Snape wearily scrubbed his palms over his eyes. Sweet Merlin but he hated kids! Once again, he vowed to check into permanent contraceptive charms as he crawled back into the four-poster bed, remembering this time to close the curtains. Not that he had that active of a love life but there was no way that he wanted any little brats clinging to his robes on a full time basis. Teaching was quite bad enough! Not to mention with his luck they would inherit his nose or at least any daughters would. Grumpily, he punched the pillow up a few times and then settled down again desperate for sleep, forgetting to place any silencing shields that would ensure his solitude.
A soft tapping sound on the door wove its way into his dreams. At first he thought it was an ivory-billed woodpecker tapping at the tree holding up his hammock. In his dream, he waved his wand at the obnoxious bird, which merely squawked and continued to rudely attack the tree. He shook his fist at the little bastard and retaliated with a swift killing curse, mentally reminding himself to harvest the rare bill if the corpse was still there when he awakened. However, the tapping sound didn't go away. He opened his eyes and realized that he was not in a hammock but still in his bed at Grimmauld Place and some arsehole was knocking on his door! Severus dragged his weary body from the bed and yanked on his dressing gown. Tying the sash firmly around his waist, he yanked open the door to see Ginny and Hermione jump back in terror at the look on his face.
"Um, Professor Snape…Mum wanted me to let you know that lunch is ready if you wanted to join us." Stammered the red-faced Ginny, clinging desperately to Hermione, clearly fearing that her young life might be ending at the hands of the irate Potions Master.
Snape glared at the two girls and gritted his teeth. As greatly as it tempted him, he couldn't punish the girls for obeying Molly's directive to let him know the mid-day meal was ready. He decided instead to merely show his ire with a large dose of sarcasm.
"Young ladies, as greatly as I appreciate your obedience to Molly, I am not in the mood to be disturbed. Pass along my thanks to Molly for her offer and do pass on the warning that the next person who awakens me will find themselves serving as a guinea pig for my next batch of experimental potions. Is that understood?" he finished, his nose barely an inch from a quivering Hermione.
"Y-yes Sir" came the stammering reply.
"Good!" With that, Severus slammed the door shut in their faces. Stalking to the nightstand, he snatched up his wand and cast a strong silencing spell. Lunch indeed! Half the day was gone and still he felt as if he hadn't had any sleep! Slapping his wand down, wishing in the back of his mind that it was landing on the bums of the little witches who had just disturbed him instead of the nightstand, he yanked off his dressing gown and tossed it in the general direction of the chair next to the bed. He got back in bed, pulled the curtains closed and with a decidedly sulky snarl, yanked the covers up over his head; vowing to stupefy the next fool who dared to try and wake him again. Thankfully the silencing spell would keep out almost any noise with the exception of a full-blown alarm.
Said alarm sent his adrenaline to a peak when wild yells and scrabbling sounds came blasting though his carefully applied silencing spell. Severus jumped out of the bed and listened carefully. No, it didn't sound like the noises the boys had been making earlier. These sounded panicked and loud thumps resonated from the upstairs. Quickly grabbing his wand, Snape dressed himself with a quick wave and flung open his bedroom door, preparing to join the fray. Stepping to the landing, he threw himself back as he was nearly trampled by a Hippogriff making a serious bid for freedom. Buckbeak hated being stuck in the small bedroom upstairs and anyone entering the room had to be on their guard to keep him firmly inside. Boiling down the stairs in a futile bid to catch the escapee was Ron, Harry, Remus and Sirius, the latter in his Animagi form. Padfoot dashed ahead and managed to corral Buckbeak and herd him back towards Snape.
"Stupefy!" shouted Snape, successfully stopping the disgruntled creature in its tracks. Stowing his wand in his robes, he sneered at the panting, wild-eyed men coming up on the stunned Hippogriff.
"Gentlemen, if I might suggest a Mobilicorpus? That should be sufficient to return this renegade to his quarters." Having said that, Snape gave a final sneer and stalked downstairs to the fireplace. Grabbing a handful of Floo powder from the flowerpot on the mantel, he started to fling it in and return to Hogwarts where a vial of Dreamless Sleep awaited him in his quarters. Before he could do so, the flames turned a brilliant green and out stepped Dumbledore.
"Goodness Severus! You look like you have been up for days! You should take better care of yourself my boy!"
A baleful glare was Snape's only response before tossing the Floo powder in and shouting.
"Hogwarts, Severus Snape's quarters!"
Professor Dumbledore looked around at Molly.
"Was it something I said?"