I don't own. Spoilers for the last book in the series.

Gannen Harst's POV

Summary: Gannen thinks of the Vampaneze Lord after the war is over.

He's dead. Our Vampaneze Lord who was suppose to lead us to our vitory is dead. I, as his faithful guardian, followed his lead, no matter how horrible I knew I'd feel afterwards.

I feel like such an idiot. How could I let him boss me around like a little puppy? How could I encourage him, keep his fires fed? How could I help thaking lives without drinking rom them? It was like he was a twisted blade- a poisonous one, too, might I add- that had struck me and everyone all around me until we, too, had become contaminated by his anger.

I still remember my cry of joy and sorrow. I still remember Evanna coming to me and Vancha and telling us, tears in her eyes, that it was over. The Vampire Prince that they'd love... the Vampaneze Lord that we'd feared... they were both dead. In the river. Most likely trapped on Earth forever. I cried then. I have no shame to admit that. I was so relieved that he was gone. But at the same time, I was sad that he was gone. He gave me a purpose, a reason, to live. Now, he was gone.

There once was a time when our Lord wasn't as twisted as he was at the end. When he had first come to us, demanding to be a vampaneze, he was different. He was a child. A small flower bud, waiting to bloom in to a beautiful flower... but instead, he became an ugly, poisonous one.

And every starfall reminds me of him. How he had fell. And every thought of him becomes twisted and angry. He had used me! He had used us! He died! He died after such glorious visions! I had believed him! I had protected him! How could I?

After all that horror that I have helped cause, was he able to get to Paradise? Would I be able to go to Paradise? Now that I have sinned, would I be doomed to see him again?

All thought of him hurts me. Pains me. He's dead. I'm alive. So why do I keep on thinking back to him? I hope I can never ever see him again. I don't ever want to relive those days. I don't ever want to remember.